Amary
~~~
This was seeming more and more like a bad dream, except for the fact that Amary never had bad dreams of this nature. When she had a bad dream, she was having a bad hair day, or being turned down for a tryst by an exceptionally attractive stallion. This sort of thing never happened to her, not in real life, not in fantasy. She didn't know how she was supposed to be reacting; she had no idea whether Laureat was telling the truth or whether he was just trying to scare her; either way, his tone was menacing and his words were downright hurtful. How dare he, how dare he assume that he knew better than her what the state of things was?
Except...
A slight awkward shift in her posture was the only outwards acknowledgement of what Laureat was saying, but inside, her mind was racing. She had been so confident about how things had worked out for her; it had all seemed so LOGICAL. She knew the some foals matured faster than others; it had seemed like a diving blessing for the boys to grow up so quickly. But what if Laureat was right? He was speaking angrily, yes, but also in very specific terms. She had been gone for so long, she had no idea whether he was right or not. And she had no way to call him on it if he WAS bluffing. And...what if he wasn't?
The idea was too awful to contemplate. She'd gone into the motherhood thing by accident, but once she'd learned she was pregnant she'd been determined to do her father proud. She hadn't expected how hard it would be, especially on her own; maybe it had been wrong of her to keep her family out of the loop. But if she'd told them, then she never would have had the chance to surprise them later on. If only she'd know ahead of time how draining motherhood was, and how fat and greasy it made her! To say nothing of tired. And then to not have had even one girl in the bunch, just a trio of cute but messy boys...it had been too much. Finding the boys gone had given her the chance to forget the whole thing and move on; she clearly hadn't been meant to be a mother.
Except if what Laureat was saying was true, then not only did her family know about the boys, they also though she was a horrible mother and were terribly disappointed in her. She didn't care so much about what Laureat thought, or Antony. She'd never met Laureat until now, and she and Tony had always had what could, at best, be termed a 'frosty' relationship. The fact that one of her sons had made his way to Tony as a guardian was galling; she could only imagine how grungy he'd grown up. how utterly uninterested and unappreciative he must be in his appearance. It was probably the grey one...Adiago; he was the least dramatic and pretty of the bunch, so no doubt he was the one who WOULD like living with a bunch of dirty Kalona. What a sad, sad waste.
But what she couldn't fathom was the idea of her daddy being upset with her. Yes, it had been ages since she'd seen him, but that was only because she couldn't stand the thought of him seeing her at less than her best. That had been the way things had always been with the two of them; since her earliest recollections, Guilian had been proud of her; proud of her looks, of her manners, of her 'zest for life.' He had laughed with her, listened to her, encouraged her. He had been the best thing in a life of almost unbroken happiness; how could this motherhood thing have backfired so badly? She was supposed to have impressed him even more; sure, the parent thing hadn't worked out, but it wasn't supposed to make him MAD at her!
Amary had no idea how long she'd stood there in silence, but the only person here to impress was Laureat. Obviously there was no point in attempting to impress him; he was only a brother, and not a supportive one at that! Even if it turned out that what he'd said was true, he was still very rude and hostile in making his point. So she didn't care if he felt ignored.
She had a LOT to think about.
Abruptly, she looked up and fixed Laureat in her most fascinating stare. "Well, it's been...different, Laureat. I guess I have a lot of catching up to do with things, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell Daddy I'm back. I'll tell him myself, when I see him." WIthout waiting for a response, she turned and sashayed away. She'd always done her best thinking in private.
