|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:59 am
Despite giant axe, the tree wasn't falling over quite yet as physics of tree chopping wasn't dependent on the size of an axe. It also helped that almost all vegetation on Deus wasn't quite ordinary by any standard of actual property (the giant mosquitoes thar sometimes showed up in the jungle outposts were testimony of the indigenous Fear mutations).
"Ha!" shouted Mark from his post as more leaves and spiked chestnuts rained on Rep with general accuracy. "I have the higher ground."
Technically yes, was it stable: no. The Death assistant decided to show his prowess of annoying people from a distance by pulling everything out of his pockets and throwing it at the charging bull, which included two cans of beer, a half-empty pack of cigarettes he used for bargaining, some soap, a few paperclips, an empty printer cartridge and that bottle of questionable blue glowing liquid that broke in half and splattered all over Rep. It didn't quite make Rep radioactive or gain him DD boobs but it did stain a good portion of his coat a bright blue.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 12:35 pm
Rep was pretty relentless even despite the barrage of thrown objects from overhead. He might have not been able to chop the thing down in one fell swing, but he could certainly make a go at chewing through the thing. After all, wood was one of his favourite things to assault, whether it was in the form of a table or not.
Chop.
"No for ******** long." Rep snarled.
When the blue vial hit Rep's coat he was livid. "DO YOU ******** KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET THIS s**t WHITE AND KEEP IT WHITE?"
Chop. Chop. ******** you and ******** this ******** UNIFORM."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 1:07 pm
CRACK.
Mark the Jedi Master knew even at his vantage point taunting someone with greater sheer bulk and size would be his downfall. He thought quickly, as the tree finally gave in to the charges of Rep the Hutt, but the Jedi master was prepared. Quickly he jumped into the air just before the tree fell, summoning both his lightsabers. He used his Force powers to make the tree fall right between him and Rep the Hutt as he swung his lightsabers in a very manly action-packed way. In the background, there were explosions and stuff and he knew the Confederate was counting on him to make a difference as he was The Chosen One.
"You shall not pass!" Mark the Jedi Master shouted, striking both lightsabers to the ground and summoning a giant hole that sucked Rep the Hutt into an eternal prison forever, so the outlaw could forever reflect on their sins.
In real time, the Death assistant clung to the tree for dear life as it fell, rolled a bit and then stopped a few meters away. The leaves had practically completely buried the assistant, and he managed to feebly crawl out of the mess with an assortment of prickly mutant chestnuts in his hair scarf, coat and well, everywhere. "Owwww," he blinked entirely confused as to why Rep wasn't in an eternal prison forever, "did I like- did I get laid?"
He rolled over and held up a stray tree branch and muttered something that might have sounded like "you shall not pass."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Baneful rolled 1 20-sided dice:
6
Total: 6 (1-20)
|
Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 1:52 pm
Rep fought the grand old tree for everything it was worth, exhibiting a level of dedication and persistence which only ever came to the fore when other people's misery was on the line. He'd follow Mark like the terminator to the ends of the island and then some at this point just to punch the runt. An additional layer of irritation stemmed from the fact that somehow chasing the other man just didn't feel like sport. It felt like chasing B0nez, which he'd never do.
Tracey sighed irritably.
When he dragged himself out of the tree's wreckage, Rep was thrown off guard by his question. "Did ye...Did ye whit?" he blinked in bafflement before his brain confirmed yes Mark had just asked that. "I guess... it's probably as close as you'll ever ******** get."
He wrenched the axe out of the tree. "And won't I?" It bothered him that his inclination was to make some kind of undignified quip about how he wasn't some petty little Balrog but something far grander.
He could feel Tracey rolling his eyes.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Zoobey rolled 1 20-sided dice:
16
Total: 16 (1-20)
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 1:56 pm
Mark was still trying to formulate a better plea for help on Deus's bootlegged Twitter when he almost met his untimely demise with a face full of axe, and not the body spray kind either.
It only took a second and he was out, running for his life.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Zoobey rolled 1 12-sided dice:
5
Total: 5 (1-12)
|
Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 2:00 pm
Mark made the mistake of turning around to see the Hutt was still chasing after him. He made a strange squeaky noise and then stopped just long enough to pull anything out of his one and many pockets (one was incidentally tied to a very tiny but rather impressive pocket space).
A set of experimental advanced runic daggers were pulled out, he tried to throw them in Rep's general direction, though they sparked just slightly, they also unfortunately crumbled on use. OOC Defense: 5 Mark's HP: 60 Turn: 1 When Mark hits 6 turns he will flee and be out of range
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Baneful rolled 2 12-sided dice:
8, 1
Total: 9 (2-24)
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 2:08 pm
Rep let out a bellow of sheer rage, a primal roar of irritation which conflicted strongly with his previous mental assertion that he was not in fact a Balrog.
He had thought that Dwight was annoying. He had been STUPID AND NAIVE. Hitting Mark was one hundred times more difficult and he was really starting to understand why the other man was still alive despite his position and rank. Cael was faster, nimbler and more deadly than Rep by a long long way, and yet here the other man stood.
In the survival stakes, Mark was also fast as ******** time Rep didn't desummon Tracey as he set out in pursuit, powered on almost raw frustration. When he swung he hit nothing but air, Mark already clearing the ground where he'd been aiming at, distracted like a cat for an instant by the shiny thing which had been the thrown dagger.
"FOR ******** SAKE." he snarled, mentally trying to kick himself up a gear to make up the distance.
HP: 60 DMG: 3 Charge: Sure, if your name is Marie.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Zoobey rolled 1 6-sided dice:
5
Total: 5 (1-6)
|
Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 2:16 pm
Mark ran like a headless chicken, trying his best to avoid the Sun Hunters milling around training: the last thing he wanted was another nakama bonding exercise of chase the Death assistant.
"Ow ow ow ow," he called out, because he was a huge baby, and because he pretty much cried wolf before events would even unfold. He paused, fumbling in his pockets for something. "Can't we like- can't we call this a truce. I'll only charge you four grand instead of ten."
The banter was just to buy him time as Mark emerged victorious with a runic trapping gun and managed to for once in his life, get the thing to work. He didn't wait for Rep to reply and he hauled a**, fumbling for something else to thwart the Hutt, like maybe a photo of Rep's mother. OOC Mark's HP: 57 Effect: Rep skips his attack turn (but feel free to post a reaction!) Round: 2
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 2:36 pm
"No a ******** chance. I'm no paying you a ******** penny. I owe you ******** but a ******** thrashing. And mibbey some kind of ********> humiliating fake golem date." Rep snarled between breaths, dragging the huge axe behind him with all the grace afforded to something with such ridiculous dimensions (none at all)
The diversion did however work exactly as planned, Rep didn't swing straight away and it was enough time for the trap gun to tangle him up and send him to the ground with a smack, dazing him as he untangled himself from the immobilisation and wondered why his chin after hitting the ground felt like he'd been kicked in the jaw by a horse.
Staggering and stumbling, he did everything he could to make up the lost ground.
HP: 60
DMG: --
Charge: Sure, if your name is Marie.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 3:05 pm
Mark could have easily outrun Rep if he wasn't busy texting away his woes to everyone on Twitter. He was smart, sometimes perhaps, he might have considered himself a genius, but it always baffled him as to why real time and real world logic did not overlap with his. For instance, he clearly should have stopped Rep prior to encounter with his greater Jedi reasoning. Why this hadn't worked was a mystery.
By the time Rep caught up to Mark the man was still texting away. It wasn't until the Sun Hunter got within swinging range that the Death Assistant squeaked and went for Runic chains he had already pulled out and promptly forgotten in favour of texting and Twitter.
At some point post chain hurling, Mark posed in front of his phone camera and did a video selfie of him saying "Save me Jedi Rep's boyfried, you're my only hope!", texting it to Harrison. OOC Halves Rep's damage next turn! Toshihiko Two Up to you if harrison wants to make a cameo anytime
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Baneful rolled 2 12-sided dice:
10, 4
Total: 14 (2-24)
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 3:34 pm
Being ignored in favour of twitter only made Rep throw a tantrum. There was not a ******** chance he was going to catch this guy. Not one ******** chance. He barely even needed the runic chains to trip him, every time he swung he seemed to hit nothing but the empty space where the death assistant had once been.
At the mention of "Jedi Rep's Boyfriend" he leapt into the air and brought the hook of the axe down in an overhand swing trying to slow Mark down by snagging him. "DONT ******** BRING ACE INTO THIS."
HP: 60
DMG: 4
Charge: Sure, if your name is Marie.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Zoobey rolled 1 10-sided dice:
6
Total: 6 (1-10)
|
Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 4:39 pm
Mark was just in the process of typing "That's it???" when Rep managed to snag him, the Death assistant going down, and then doing a stop, drop, and roll routine.
"Wait, wait, uh hang on, wait," Mark defensively raised his finally summoned weapon just so he had extra time to view his cellphone lifeline. He dramatically cleared his throat and narrated Harrison's helpful advice. "Nay bother mate."
Surely Harrison wouldn't have fed him wrong information. He made a sign against the devil just in case.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Baneful rolled 2 12-sided dice:
6, 8
Total: 14 (2-24)
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 4:53 pm
Rep stopped only long enough to give Mark a look of absolute bafflement. He wasn't used to hearing Scottish accents, even valiant, inept and misguided attempts at them at all on the island. Unfortunately, the hesitation was extremely short lived, it didn't serve any purpose other than to make him think he was being mocked.
He swung out against Mark's upraised weapon with a smirk of satisfaction, it might have been a defended swing, but it was still a damn swing. Every little bit helped.
HP: 60
DMG: 8
Charge: Sure, if your name is Marie.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Zoobey rolled 1 10-sided dice:
8
Total: 8 (1-10)
|
Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 5:05 pm
The attack made an audible blow as Mark went rolling. It was sort of like hitting a punching bag with extremely high tenacity, which would explain why Mark was also Allan's favourite when training and doing Sun nakama bonding exercises. Allan thought Mark was just so nice to volunteer all the time! (spoiler: the Death assistant didn't agree).
"Mercy!" he cried, continuing defensive stance, "I call mercy! You win! I wont charge you for the damage, it's free okay free from the goodness - ow ow ow- from the Jedi code and stuff- ow - free trade with outer reach planets - ow, look, can you stop hitting me I'm trying to text this important message."
His text, which he managed to send in the middle of his dialogue went like this:It was actually sort of hard to tell how much damage Rep had actually done to Mark as there hit a threshold once one got into too much hobo territory where it was just hard to tell if Mark looked like this from consistent physical assaults from people with bad tempers, or if he just looked like this. OOC Defending/ MARK EVASION for: 8 HP: 45/60 Turn: 5
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Baneful rolled 2 12-sided dice:
9, 9
Total: 18 (2-24)
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 5:22 pm
"Fool me once, ******** shame on you." Rep snorted. He'd ******** believed Mark's word not once but twice and both times the guy had made him look like an idiot. There was no chance he'd take the guy's offer of a truce at face value after the amount of abuse he'd tolerated from him.
"Shame really man. I don't have any ******** mercy."
He'd never wished he had a charge more in his life.
HP: 60
DMG: 12
Charge: Sure, if your name is Marie.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
