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 Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 8:27 pm
This was quite the tale Kostya was spinning. Otto wasn't even sure if it really happened or if the man was making it up. Deus logic said it was a fifty-fifty chance.
It seemed to be field trip time, so Otto hopped off the table to follow the King. He was going to wear a sheet cape. Otto almost felt the need to actually grin. He witheld this urge. "Right, right. Bedsheets and wine. Classy as ********>
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Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 8:46 pm
As they walked through the halls, Kostya prattled on about elven politics and how there were always spiders knocking at their door, and that he wasn't sure if maggots were a step up or down from this, and he said as much, and Otto was saved.
Saved by the laundry room, and Kostya began to open various dryers to find a sheet to nick.
"Is not stealing," he said, loftily, "if all belong to me."
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Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 9:06 pm
Otto was bored to tears until they finally reached the laundry room. He leaned in the doorway, shaking his head as he recorded Kostya's thievery. "Right of course not. It's all part of the Elf Realm." He was like a subdued version of Allen.
"Hey theres a Power Rangers sheet. Use that."
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Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 9:44 pm
Otto, you genius little s**t. That was blackmail material, right there. " Power Rangers? No." Instead, he settled on a crisp white sheet that someone would surely miss, and tied it around his neck-- and proceeded to swish it a few times. Majestically. "Only pure light of vhite can be use for kingly cloak."
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Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 9:47 pm
"Yep... yep. You're a real vision." Otto needed to bite his lip as he tried not to laugh, lest he insult his kingliness. "I feel like you need to make more of a presence here at Deus. No one's takin' you seriously, man. Are you gunna take that?"
"Here, just practice here! Say what you wanna say to them peons here at Deus."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 7:48 pm
"Yes," Kostya replied, pleased that Otto agreed with his very accurate assessment. He was a vision of splendor.
But.
...
It was true. The silly little Menfolk of this island did not respect the dominion of his Kingship and Kingdom. Capital Ks, because I say so, and also because I feel like it. So there.
With another flick of his not actually there long golden hair, he turned to face Otto and his phone, because he was about to make a speech.
"Citizen of Deus Island," he started, beginning to walk in a line back and forth just face enough for his sheet-cape to billow in a way he thought was very profound and impressive, but mostly it just made him almost trip over his feet. "Am Konstanin Bashmet, elf King of Woodland Realm. Vill expect all to bend a knee, vill be vaiting in my court." He meant, of course, the Cafeteria. Probably. "Bring gift to show you are being ally. Accept vine, shining diamond, and no dvarves allowed."
He squinted. "None. Probably no to dragon also. Hobbit okay."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 7:54 pm
This that which Otto was filming was pure gold. Not only the speech, but the magnificent cape flipping and strides of grandeur. Otto's face was becoming red as he withheld laughter, something he didn't often have to deal with having been born without a funny bone.
He clapped a free hand over his mouth, hoping it just looked like he was moved to tears in order to keep up the act. "Right... yep.. That'll show 'em... Great words, King Dude."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 7:59 pm
"Very good."
He turned to the hobbit. I have decided he doesn't get a capital H, because he's just a hobbit. You don't have a fancy golden ring, Otto, just lovely golden locks that could be a little longer. Please consider it. I'm sure you'd make a lot of girls very happy.
"Am not King Dude. May use 'your highness' if veak halfling mind forget full title. Is okay. Cannot be giving you many faults for veakness of specices."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 8:04 pm
Otto now managed to keep the laughter in check thanks to the insult. he managed a nasty smirk, and a mock bow at his hip. "Riiiight. Yer highness." That was another tick on the marks of how many times Kostya called him a halfling. You were going to get it, Russian Spy. Get it good.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 8:12 pm
Kostya beamed at Otto, except it was definitely the smile of someone who had no practise smiling and was only half sure on the mechanics. Like if a wrestler tried to be a quarterback. Technically, the muscles are there, but...
"Need to find throne. Vhere can find one?"
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Posted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 5:13 am
The smile was one of the scariest things he'd ever seen. Nightmare fuel. "A throne..." What would be suitable for 'his highness'? There wasn't really anything around Deus that could resemble such a thing. "You got a couple choices. Stack a bunch of caf' chairs up so you can sit up high, or take a common room chair and put it on top of the building. You'd get a great view from up there."
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Posted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 2:01 pm
Kostya scoffed, audibly, and proceeded to roll his eyes in the most exaggerated way possible.
"No, must be something better. If halfling does not vish to keep company as explore, that is fine. Little mortal is being dismiss now."
Thank you, Otto, for taping the evidence that was going to ruin his life.
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Posted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 2:08 pm
Mark one last time Kostya called him halfling. Little mortal was a bonus. Kostya would half to pay through the nose to keep this video from becomign public knowledge. He waved off the would be King, and turned away to leave for his own room.
Time to wait for Kostya's little side effect to wear off.
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