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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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 Posted: Mon Jan 06, 2014 12:38 pm
As much as Texas still thought he should have tried a little harder to resist what Saffron had suggested all those years ago, the thought that it was indeed just the Erotes also helped him out. After all, if the Erotes had been the ones who had done it, maybe Texas could have controlled himself if they weren't involved. The involvement of the Erotes was what made that impossible.
Right.
He tried not to dwell on what was ultimately a flimsy--true or not--excuse, instead amusing himself with the different kinds of colors he seemed capable of turning the one across from him. Texas had to admit, embarrassing someone else was actually a bit fun. He didn't seem very good at it, so the ability to turn someone as red as a setting sun was something a bit novel to him.
Plus, despite the embarrassment, Saffron seemed to be calming down. It seemed like Texas was bringing two birds down with one shot, so to speak.
He sounded like he had enough experience to know what he--
Ah.
There it was.
Texas pondered if Saffron really wanted Texas to address what he had said, or if he was just speaking to speak and would rather him ignore it. It was rather obvious what he was hinting at, considering the context of the conversation and the statement he just said. Texas was well-aware of at least some of the things that he would want, he supposed, if being single wasn't in his cards. Saffron seemed a little more muddled from the way he was prodding. Had that been his fault, or had Saffron always been this muddled? Or was it something Saffron hadn't even put any thought into?
Maybe he should try something a little more general. If Saffron didn't want him to pry, he'd probably try deflecting afterwards.
"No one really knows what they want. A lot of people may say they know what they want, but a lot of people either have just vague ideas or laundry lists no one could ever match up to. I'd put myself in the former category." Texas shrugged. "I know what I prefer, but I wouldn't say that I know what I want for certain. If I did, I think I would have found it already." The demon furled his wings back up, leaning back against the couch and letting himself relax again.
Ball was back in Saffron's court.
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Posted: Mon Jan 06, 2014 2:07 pm
There was something new to consider: what if no one really knew what they wanted? Maybe that's why so many seemed to struggle, trying one type of relationship, finding what didn't work, then switching to something else. He'd always thought that maybe that was the type of relationship they preferred...but what if they were just searching for the right one as well? Confused about what they really wanted in the end?
Still, even if he didn't know what he wanted, shouldn't he at least know what he preferred? They seemed to be two different things, the way Texas was talking. When it came down to it though, Saffron couldn't even answer that question. He sighed softly, trying to organize his tangled thoughts. The problem seemed to be that if there was a standard path for this sort of thing during one's development, Saffron must have missed a few steps along the way and gotten lost in the woods. He'd never even explored what he preferred, forgoing the search for a relationship in favor of just dealing with the cards life dealt him. He didn't have time for relationships.
Not until he'd been forced to analyze his actions with Texas. It had left him confused and feeling as if unarmed for a fight where he didn't even know the identity of the challenger. Maybe that's why it had hit him so hard at first. He didn't feel like he even knew himself when he couldn't answer for his own actions.
Sighing again, he turned nearly sideways in the chair, leaning back on one arm rest and pulling one knee up onto the seat as he stared off at something apparently fascinating in the ceiling corner. "You know, growing up, we only really had Mom and Dad as examples, so I figured that's what all relationships were supposed to be like." Happily together, with kids, a male and a female, he thought to himself. "I guess things were pretty quiet outside of family, so there wasn't much comparison otherwise, aside from visits to Grandma and Grandpa's, who were much the same. I wouldn't say we were sheltered or deprived of anything; the Isle was just quieter then, it seemed. It wasn't until much later in life...alright, more recently," he admitted, "that I started really noticing variety in the type of relationships that could exist on the Isle."
He paused, idly flicking a stray lock of hair from one of his head wings. "Assuming all relationships were the same, I guess, I never took the time to question what I wanted, what I preferred...I assumed that everything was a given," he shrugged. "One day, I'd find a nice girl, fall in love, and live happily ever after. That's what the fairy tales said," he smiled wistfully. His mother had always loved reading them fairy tales. Or making up her own when they ran out of books from the HQ.
"Didn't quite work out that way. Not in the slightest," he finished with a quiet snort. "Sitting around waiting for fairy tales to play out doesn't get you anywhere. And the fairy tales never mention the other surprises life can throw at you. Suppose they're nice for kids, but not exactly an ideal to shoot for in life." He smiled a bit, shaking his head. "Pretty dumb, I guess. Put me way behind. Guess I've always kinda' been trying to catch up with everyone else, whether it was trying to keep up with my older sister when we were kids," he mused with a touch of sadness, "or just trying to take control and find my own way later in life. Maybe I'm still doing it. Pretty late, I suppose, but maybe it's about time I figure out what I want," he muttered quietly, still staring at the far wall thoughtfully.
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Mon Jan 06, 2014 4:00 pm
It seemed he had said exactly what he needed to.
Saffron sat there, mulling over something or other for a bit, before finding something absolutely fascinating about the ceiling, the corner, the walls; Texas glanced over there to see if there was anything interesting, but he couldn't find it, so he focused his attention back on Saffron. This did seem to really have him mixed up. Admittedly, he never had that same feeling. When he was younger, he didn't exactly have many people to look up to, and ended up taking care of a lot of people himself.
In some ways, he grew up maybe even a little too fast.
It seemed Texas had opened some flood gates with his statement, because Saffron had ... a lot to say on the topic. Texas sat back at listened to what Saffron was saying, noting how Saffron had mentally established a norm which, with the way he was questioning things, he didn't seem to exactly fit. That was probably a large part of why he was struggling now.
Texas was quiet for a few moments once Saffron finished, mostly in case the other started talking again. When he was certain the other had stopped, though, he made a thoughtful noise, shifting where he sat as he watched the other. "I never saw you as the type for fairy tales," noted Texas, softly, sounding a bit amused, but not mocking. "But that's not the point here, is it? It can be hard to realize you didn't fit the norm you thought was there your whole life. Is that what you're noticing?"
He chuckled.
"Sorry if I mixed you up, at any point, there."
Texas paused for a moment, pondering what to say next, before he continued. "Your kids are grown now, right? I say you should take some time to figure out what you prefer. Of course, it may not be as hard as you think, either. The seeming natural order of things can sometimes be a blinder. If you remove that, what do you think you would prefer?"
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Posted: Mon Jan 06, 2014 5:42 pm
Saffron shifted position so that his wings were draped comfortably over the arm of the chair that he leaned back upon before turning to acknowledge Texas' remark with a smile. "Mom liked to read fairy tales to all her kids. I wonder now whether we enjoyed them more, or if she did. Can't say the real life experience mirrored much of those though. Well, not unless you count the miracle transformation from a bratty, selfish, juvenile kid into a responsible parent of a crazed biting child from the forest," he quipped lightly, despite the associated memories that slipped into the edges of his thoughts. "Magic, eh?" he asked with a smile.
He shrugged. "Yeah, something like that, I think. It's just...I've had to deal with so much, and I'm only now wondering just who I am. Who am I really?" Regarding Texas' contribution to the confusion, he didn't deny it. Only chuckled, shaking his head, seeming infinitely calmer now than he had been earlier. "Not your fault. How would you have known? Besides, who knows? Maybe I needed a little shaking up. If not, I might still be waiting around waiting for some princess to just fall in my lap," he managed a light chuckle at the thought.
He seemed to consider the possibility before nodding sagely. "Yeah, both boys long grown and taking care of themselves." He didn't mention that he hadn't seen his first son in some seasons. "So, maybe you're right. Maybe it's time I figure out just what I want. What would I prefer if I had any choice?" He glanced over at the red-eyed demon. "To be honest? I don't have a damn clue. Guess I'll have to give it a shot and see. Maybe though, if I'm lucky, I'll end up half as confident as you are about what I want." His tone was complementary. He really did admire the confidence Texas had in his thoughts and beliefs. He felt indecisive and weak in comparison, but maybe, if he could manage to give this a shot, maybe he could make some changes in his life and find a little of the happiness that had yet eluded him.
Adopting a half-smile, he looked towards the other. "Hey, Texas? Thanks." For the talk? For understanding? For something else entirely? That was up to the demon to decide.
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Mon Jan 06, 2014 6:20 pm
In some ways, maybe Saffron had grown up a little too fast, too. Juvenile kid to a parent with a bratty kid of their own was definitely a bit of a drastic transformation, especially in a time as quick as Saffron made it sound.
It sounded like Saffron had dealt with so much, so fast, that he never really had the time to take to himself and figure himself out. "It's never too late to figure yourself out. Sure, you might be older than some when you start out, but I can guarantee, most people don't exactly understand themselves. It's why we all keep growing and changing as time goes by."
... The more he listened to himself, the more he realized Mikasi had a point.
He really did sound like an old grandpa sometimes.
"Honestly? Not having a damn clue is a great place to start. Gives you a lot of avenues you can start with, a lot of choices." Texas smiled back at Saffron, offering a wink. "Some of those avenues might be more interesting or more fruitful than others. And ... it's really not a problem. Don't worry about it."
To be honest, Texas wasn't certain what exactly the thanks was for. Was it for talking? Was it for listening? Was it for understanding? Was it for all of the above? He wasn't sure. Texas liked the idea that it was for all the above and Texas had sincerely helped him out, so he would go with that theory. It sat the best with him, and made the smile on his face just a bit wider as he relaxed his eyes once again.
"And I do appreciate the compliment, by the way. You actually appreciate my advice, unlike Mikasi," he laughed, quietly.
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Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2014 6:51 am
Now that things seemed to have smoothed over a bit, Saffron seemed more at ease with the conversation, having relaxed and dropped some of the anxious fidgeting from before. Yet, he raised an eyebrow at the wink and mention of certain interesting and fruitful avenues being open now that he'd decided to explore his options. Was that an invitati--?
Nah, probably just imagining things.
He shrugged it off with a chuckle. "Hey, it's good advice. Though, if he's anything like Kane, well...some Pae can certainly be more stubborn and less open to help and advice than others. Even good advice."
Sensing that the tension in the room had abated, the conversation reaching more of a casual level, Takeko had prepared a tea tray. Nothing fancy, just some simple black tea, a couple of fruit scones, and several cookies from the recent batch. Quietly, she entered the room during a lapse in the conversation flow, setting the tray on the table between the two. "There we go, tea and sweets for you boys."
Saffron narrowed his eyes at the angel's entrance, though the tray was too tempting to resist for long. Leaning forward, he picked up one of the scones and waved it at her threateningly. "Don't think this gets you off the hook, woman. We're having a talk about your behavior later!"
A sparkle of mischief in her golden eyes, Takeko straightened up, dusting her hands off and smiling innocently as she turned to go back to the kitchen. "I have no idea what you're talking about, dear." Her halo even seemed to glow for a moment.
Saffron cast a sideways stare at Texas as if to say, 'You buying this?', while trying to stifle a smirk.
From the kitchen, Takeko's voice sounded cheerfully, "Texas, dear? I'll pack these cookies up for you and the boys. They'll be ready whenever you decide to head out!"
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2014 8:25 am
"Like Kane?" Texas couldn't help his laughter. "I swear, if I wasn't mistaken, Mikasi is Kane with a lazy streak." And with a little less maturity than the older of the two had developed, he would note.
Takeko's entrance broke his concentration for a moment, his glance shifting over to the devious angel who thought she had been ever-so-sneaky. He would admit, she had him fooled at first, but considering he thought something had to have been wrong for her to call him in such a manner, maybe he was closer to figuring her out than he might have realized. There was certainly something wrong, even if it wasn't some kind of sickness or death...
Still, even if that wasn't at all Takeko's actual purpose, getting some sweets from her was a nice treat. He didn't even bother with the temporary resistance, immediately leaning in and swiping a couple cookies. He didn't eat them quite as fast as he swiped them, choosing to give a mild, joking glare in Takeko's direction instead as he nibbled on them.
"These are cookies of deceit," he joked, despite eating them anyway. "Deceit, tricks, and lies."
When Saffron glanced in his direction, Texas rolled his eyes. It was very obvious he wasn't buying a second of this, even if he was excited to get some cookies. He better be given some cookies for how much he worried himself for no reason on the way here... "Thanks Takeko!" shouted Texas, after her, even though they were still "cookies of deceit." They were delicious cookies of deceit, dammit.
Texas offered a smile to Saffron once again. "Despite her tricking us both, glad she did it I suppose. Nice to clear the air." Maybe he'd get to meet Aster at some point, now...
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Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2014 12:10 pm
The phrase 'cookies of deceit' made Saffron snort involuntarily and it was only with effort that he managed not to choke on the scone he was eating. He had to take a sip of tea before he attempted to speak, and even then it was only a single sentence before he dipped the scone into the tea and started eating again.
"Deceit is delicious."
He didn't speak again until after he'd finished the treat, then followed up with a cookie for himself as well. He needed it after making it through this whole 'set-up'. Finally, he responded to Texas with, "Yeah, maybe so...but I'm not going to give her an easy time for it." He half smirked, settling back into his chair. It was true; it was nice to 'clear the air' as Texas had put it. He hadn't felt this at ease for some time now. Granted, he still had questions that he wanted answers for...but he had a plan to find them. Sort of. And he and Texas had cleared some things up. No longer did he feel like a coward, hiding away, afraid of some future confrontation. He could finally move forward.
"So uh...guess there's a lot of catching up to do," he said, shifting to take up his former reclining position, propped up on the arm of the chair. "What do you think? If it's alright, maybe Aster and I could come by the beach sometime...save you the trouble of travel. Or, if you'd rather, maybe...we could meet up somewhere else?" There'd be a bit of explaining to do, he supposed, before this meeting. For him and Aster at least. Still, while he didn't look forward to that part of things, it was a necessary progression. Their sons deserved to know the truth, just as much as they deserved the chance to get to know the rest of their family.
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2014 12:41 pm
Texas was certainly happy to focus his attention on delicious deceit for a bit. Even if he was used to high intensity situations, it was nice to have a reprieve from them.
When Saffron mentioned Aster on his own, Texas was relieved. He didn't exactly want to ask Saffron to introduce them himself, especially if Saffron didn't want to. Things may have been a bit better between them than they were at the beginning of the conversation, but that wasn't necessarily to say that things were perfect or easy, or necessarily that Saffron would want Texas involved at this point, either. That would be Saffron's right to decide, as his primary parent--
He really was overthinking this ... like always.
A lot of catching up to do might have been putting it lightly. He didn't even know what his son looked like or sounded like, yet alone anything else about him. Still, any place was a good place to start. "Sure. My house is always open, if not a bit full." He chuckled, leaning back. "And it's a nice place. We have one of the generators on the Isle, so it's a lot like living in the City without the extra hassle of them making some really weird faces at my son."
He was clearly referring to Vangelis in this particular case, not Ignatius. ... Then again, perhaps he was talking about Ignatius, too, what with his passionate refusal to actually dedicate himself and get a power already.
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Posted: Wed Jan 08, 2014 8:07 am
Nodding in reply, Saffron felt relief wash over him. This was sure to be yet another awkward situation, but he hadn't wanted to intrude on Texas' home. But, if they were welcome to visit, well, that was one less thing to worry about on a long list. Not that Texas was necessarily territorial like Kane; though, for all Saffron knew, his son might be.
The comment also served to remind Saffron in the similarity of their situations: large, extended families connected, not only by blood, but sometimes by...spirit, perhaps? He chuckled slightly at the thought, commenting, "Yeah, even though no one else is really staying here permanently with Mom, the traffic can get a little busy sometimes when visits coincide. Aster and I have a smaller place not too far from here. It's nothing nearly as fancy as your place, or even Mom's, but...we get by." They were close enough that he could drop by or help his mom out if she needed something, and yet, he didn't feel like he was imposing on her by having his own place with Aster. Besides, Aster had taken up practicing his abilities lately, creating useful objects for each of their houses. It had started as an entertaining hobby to pass the time, but with so much raw material at his disposal, it wasn't long before he'd found useful directions for his talent.
"Can't say I have much experience with the City myself," Saffron admitted, frowning a bit at the mention of strange treatment from the locals. "I've heard a little, some things good, some, well...strange. But, maybe that's just because I've spent my whole life here in the forest. The thought of living in some big city floating in the sky with so many others all around all the time seems a bit unnerving. Besides, I dunno...pretty sure Mom could never leave this place. It's home. A few fancy luxuries...I'm not sure it balances out the exchange," he shrugged. There were too many memories here; the feeling of 'home'. Even if he didn't live here in his mother's house anymore, the area around the river was still where he grew up. Even if he traveled away for a while, it would always be home.
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Wed Jan 08, 2014 9:21 am
Sometimes, it was a little strange to remind himself or be reminded that someone he considered a close friend was the mother of someone he had, ah, slept with in the past. Perhaps he shouldn't dwell on that point...
Instead, he lifted his eyebrows in a show of curiosity as Saffron mentioned where he lived. Admittedly, Texas didn't know as much about that as he probably should have, considering that was where some of his own flesh and blood lived. "I admit, my place took a while to build up to what it is now, but we started it as a place that was meant to house a lot of people, which is probably why it remains that way now, even if a few have moved out."
That was namely Criofan, but he moved into his own house--with his own generator, thanks to his lucky find at the Headquarters--with his own family. It made sense that he would want to move on, though he was still over at Texas' house often enough.
"What a family needs is a house that works for them, even if it isn't fancy," he remarked, shooting a grin in his direction. "I'm sure the house you and Aster have works great for the both of you. Especially if it's where you consider home. I can't blame you for not wanting to live in the City. To be honest, ignoring the strangeness of some of the glances, I have never been very fond of the idea of living in tight, close spaces, above the water and not next to it. I've lived on the Isle so long now that living above and away from it would just seem... strange."
With a chuckle, he remarked, "Anyway, I'm probably blathering on a bit. I can hear my nephew now. No one cares, gramps." With the sing-song way he said that, he seemed more amused than bothered by the fact Mikasi called him 'Gramps' on occasion.
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 1:04 pm
"Gramps?" Saffron repeated with a wry grin and a lifted eyebrow. Sounded like, if nothing else, things were never boring at Texas' place. Still chuckling, he continued, "Well, I wouldn't call it blathering. I think you're right though. There's just as many types of suitable living arrangements as there are types of Pae'il personalities, right?" He shot back a calm smile. Wasn't that exactly what they'd been talking about before?
He chuckled at a passing thought, adding, "That being said, I think it probably better we meet at your place for a visit first. We might have some work to do if we wanted to use our place." He laughed, mentally noting how easily said laughter came forth. He'd never have imagined he'd feel so at ease at this point compared to back when this meeting had started.
Takeko was still not going to get off easy for this. Meddling woman. She was going to owe so many baked goods for this shenanigan.
"So uh...how do we do this?" Saffron asked with a sheepish grin, only a bit of the awkwardness returning. "I mean...do we...schedule something, or do we take a little time and play this by ear? I suppose it all depends on what we think would be best regarding the boys." They'd kind of had their own reconciliation forced. But for the boys to meet family they'd never seen before, maybe never even knew about? What had Texas told Ignatius? Saffron already knew he'd need some time to talk to Aster before taking any further steps forward. That being said, he didn't foresee any dramatic emotional explosions or anything of the like from the boy. Aster was a fairly calm young man, a trait he now believed more than ever he had inherited from Texas, more focused on the facts than on emotional knee-jerk responses. Just...a little time to clear things up beforehand would be all Saffron would need; some time to prepare for the meeting.
Perhaps much of that time was for himself, preparing to meet a grown son he'd never seen in his life.
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:38 pm
Never boring? With that many people in one location, boring was certain possible, but ... it certainly wasn't particularly likely.
When Saffron said he wouldn't call it blathering, Texas chuckled and softly murmured, "You don't need to defend it." Even if he did appreciate the fact that Saffron did not seem to be exasperated by how much Texas could "gramps talk" at times. "But yes, exactly! The Isle is large and full of colorful Pae'il, both in a literal sense and in a figurative sense. There's all kinds of things that work for all kinds of people, I think."
It seemed fair to use his place, though, and honestly, Texas was fine with it. It might be a bit harder for Aster if he was of a shier type, since he would not be on his "home lands" per se, but if Saffron did not see an issue, Texas would trust his judgment. After all, Texas had never known his other son. Saffron would know him far better than Texas might ever dream of knowing him, and that was just the reality of it. Hopefully that would not have to stay the case.
"Easy enough. Come when you're ready." It was notable that he said when Saffron was ready, not necessarily his son, though that might have been reading a little too much into his words... "It's really not hard to locate me. If I'm not somewhere around the house, one of my sons or my nephew will definitely know where I am." He chuckled. "And while Mikasi is a little brash, they'll all be honest about where I am... I think they'd be able to see the resemblance, anyway."
There were a lot of similarities between Saffron's and Ignatius' appearances. Sure, Ignatius had a lot in common with him, too, but he always thought he looked a bit more like his other father...
"Does that sound good to you?"
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Posted: Mon Jan 13, 2014 7:47 am
He may not need to defend it, but he wasn't trying to; just stating what he thought. Shrugging dismissively, Saffron brushed past the comment and focused on their planned meeting. "Sounds just fine to me," he said, relieved. "I just want some time to talk to Aster first, but...I don't see there being any problems. He's always been a level-headed boy, calm and fairly accepting; a lot like you, actually," he admitted with a half-smile. Hopefully, the act of preparing his son for the meeting would serve as preparation for himself as well.
The comment about the others being able to see the resemblance between them caught in his mind. So...his other son...looked like him? Well, of course he did. That was a stupid thought, Saffron. He could see some of himself in Aster...but at the same time, he'd never been able to overlook the things that were distinctly 'Texas' about the boy: the colors, the markings, even the calm, unshakable demeanor he possessed, so unlike Saffron when he was growing up. It had made things all the harder for Saffron while raising the boy, rather than easier.
So, was that it then? They'd made plans to meet again with the boys as well, which would likely be a meeting just as momentous as this had been, if not more. Was there anything more to say now? A part of him still wanted to keep talking, now that they'd opened up communications again, perhaps properly for the first time since they'd known each other. And yet, a part of him was exhausted from the encounter and ready to retreat to somewhere quiet to sort through the thoughts that had been stirred up today. He couldn't just...flake out now though, could he? Awkwardness creeping back in, Saffron chuckled softly and leaned on his elbow with a shrug. "Uh, so..."
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Mon Jan 13, 2014 8:31 am
Texas smiled in turn at the half-smile Saffron gave him, appreciating the compliment. It was good to hear Aster carried influences from him even if they had never met. It gave Texas some amount of pride to know that his good traits had carried through, whether he had been intending for children or not. (Naturally, he hadn't been ...)
He had lived for a lot of years and seen a lot of people, and that made Texas rather aware of when someone was becoming awkward. It wasn't exactly like Texas had outstayed his welcome, but the conversation had certainly run it's course. They'd talked about a lot today, anyway. It was okay.
With a laugh, Texas offered, "I get it. I had something to ask Takeko about anyway before heading out." He refused to use the term 'your mother.' Saffron knew who Texas was referring to.
He got up, unfurling his wings and stretching them and arms out, before settling again. Texas nearly glided over to Saffron, patting him on his leaned shoulder heartily. "I'll see you around."
Saying nothing more, Texas moved to where Takeko was, looking for some cookies of deceit along with some continuation of what she was saying earlier. What on Telrunya was this good news she spoke of? Takeko was often happy, bit excitement was not something he had often seen her display...
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