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[Q] Sailor Mneme, Senshi of Amnesia Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2

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Xevra


Omnipresent Phantom

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 09, 2013 9:22 pm


Thank you guys so much for your help! I held off working on this quest for a bit while waiting for the conformation that the amnesia sphere is okay. (By the way, if I cross any boundaries with her attacks, please let me know and I have no problem to change them!) Then I got a little lazy. xP So I've made some changes and would like to know how she looks now. :3
Songstress Kitsune
Quicksilver the Archangel
PostPosted: Thu Jul 11, 2013 5:39 pm


Xevra
Thank you guys so much for your help! I held off working on this quest for a bit while waiting for the conformation that the amnesia sphere is okay. (By the way, if I cross any boundaries with her attacks, please let me know and I have no problem to change them!) Then I got a little lazy. xP So I've made some changes and would like to know how she looks now. :3


Sure, I don't mind giving some more feedback!

I'm honestly a little confused about what the effects of her attack will be. For instance, in the Sailor Stage you say that the short term memory loss will be determined by the player... but what does that mean for me, as a player? Do characters simply fail to absorb new information? Do they forget how to speak correctly? How to summon their attacks? Do they have flashbacks that confused them?

You can still leave it up to the player (I do the same with Pasiphae's attack), but providing some examples of what kind of things might happen when short term memory goes away would be helpful, I think. For example, in her Super Stage, you say both long and short term will be affected and give an example - forgetting people. That's something I can latch onto as a player and respond to accordingly.

Hope this helps!

Quicksilver the Archangel

Beloved Seraph



Xevra


Omnipresent Phantom

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 11, 2013 9:10 pm


Quicksilver the Archangel
Thanks so much! biggrin I'll add some examples. <3
PostPosted: Fri Jul 12, 2013 6:45 pm



I think everything looks A+ and here Xev have a trial stamp <3

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Noir Songbird
Crew

Dramatic Senshi

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Xevra


Omnipresent Phantom

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 14, 2013 4:17 pm


Songstress Kitsune
Awesome! Thanks so much for all of your help!

Maybe I can get her fully stamped before and be blue's customs are over. *crosses fingers, but totally understands that there's life outside of Gaia . . . Or is there?*
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 1:00 am


Xevra


Hey, Xevra!

Sorry for the wait; I'll try to make this quick!

Overall, she looks great! The civilian part is ready for a stamp, and the name and sphere both check out. My only concern is that right now the actual effects of her attacks are a little too close to Lethe/Mnemosyne. I think this could be remedied quickly if maybe instead of specifically affecting someone's long term and short term memory, maybe instead, the magic could have the world around them suddenly look foreign, and faces no longer look recognizable? Maybe trying to remember how they got there or what's going on causes confusion and disorientation? The duration for attacks seems fine from basic to super to eternal, I think the only thing that needs to be tweaked is the actual effect!

If you have questions, comments or make any changes, feel free to either PM me or quote me and I'll get back to you asap!


Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon



Xevra


Omnipresent Phantom

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 2:55 am


Kyuseisha no Hikari
Hey, Kyu! Thanks so much! I made those changes by using what you suggested and hope that looks better. Let me know if any tweaks are still needed. :3 Thanks again!
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 10:12 am


Xevra


It's no problem, looking over your profiles is always a pleasure! <3

The changes look good, but I think her first attack runs a little too close since it mentions short term memory. If you would be willing to tweak that to maybe sound a little more like her other attacks, then I think she's ready for a stamp!


Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon



Xevra


Omnipresent Phantom

14,900 Points
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  • Tipsy 100
  • Pet Trainer 150
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 8:58 pm


Kyuseisha no Hikari
D'awwh! Thanks! <3 I made changes to her first attack where the victim doesn't remember the places/people, but feels like they should.
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 11:02 pm


Xevra

Perfect, that change looks great to me! I don't have anything else I can pick at, so I think she's ready for a stamp! Good luck winning her!

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Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon

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