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Posted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 2:07 pm
"All I've ever done is stupid s**t. And then when I do it people yell at me and tell me it was inconsiderate and that it ruined everything, even when I just ******** did it in the first place to try and help someone. Even when at the time I did it for the right reasons. And it doesn't matter when it ******** up with other people because their opinions don't matter. But yours do. So I never think to drag you along, I don't even think I could drag you along. I don't think I could ever make you do something you didn't want to."
He spent a lot of his time wanting very badly to share the things in life that excited him, that gave him a thrill, made him enthusiastic but always scared to do so.
He sidled nearer, like a scolded dog and reached out to touch Jordan's wrist gently, the same one he'd grabbed before, looking at what he was doing rather than Jordan himself. "I think the thing is. I don't ask. I just tell people what they are doing. With you, if I told you we were going to some ill advised country to get out of our faces. I think you'd tell me we weren't."
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Posted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 2:13 pm
Jordan sighed and turned his hand over to lace his fingers carefully with Rep's, feeling small and stupid and guilty. "It was still a stupid stunt," he said, "I'm not taking that back because it was, but it could've been a - I would've said pick a city a little farther away, moron, you still could've been recognized, s**t." It wasn't an apology, but his tone of voice was contrite.
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Posted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 2:27 pm
Rep smiled, big, silly and genuine. "See? You'd make it all safe and s**t. I thought about where it was, there's different police forces and s**t man. I never even met half those guys. And when I used to be there I had short hair, I dressed different. I was a different guy." And he meant it earnestly, the man he'd been before the island, these days felt like someone else altogether, further and more strange than even his Blue kingdom self. "I'm stupid, I'll accept that. But I'm no stupid enough to put what I have at risk, I told you guys that before."
"I'm sorry it upset you, and I'm sorry it cost money we don't have. And I'm sorry too I guess I didn't ask you along. Because I would have! And I'm no even kidding." he gave Jordan's hand a squeeze. "I'd figured at least you would have realised by now like. There's nothing I like more than seeing you like, cut loose. It reminds me of like, first time we fought and s**t man."
Leaning against him subtly he chuckled. "You ******** owned Melvin man, that s**t was glorious okay. He had like, all of it coming his way for a long time. He says you don't know him, I know him and I say you ******** do. He probably blames me for everything that happened and thinks I'm just a ******** dumb moron who gets him in trouble." He shrugged. "I don't really know why I ******** bother."
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Posted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 2:36 pm
"Yeah. Okay." Jordan took a deep breath and let it out, and let himself lean on Rep, summoning half a weak smile that got a little more genuine at the reminder of that fight. "Next time, right."
He winced a little. "I should apologize for the part of it I did get wrong," he said. "I made some pretty broad assumptions. Jerry, too." The half-smile returned. "Not apologizing for the part of it I meant."
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Posted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 2:41 pm
"Or. You could like. Let them all get ******** and not apologise. Because you were ******** angry, and everyone has a right to be angry. You are too like, formal sometimes man. I mean I'm from the UK, and you make us look polite. Jerry probably won't even ******** remember what you said, and if he does it will just be to try and guilt trip you. Melvin deserved every ******** word, and he has never once apologised to anyone in his life for being a p***k, especially me." He slung an arm around him, the confidence slowly seeming to reassert itself. "You are a ******** magnificent b*****d man okay, you don't need to do ******** apologising to people or amending statements. We are hunters, we aren't writing like a newspaper or something. Life's no a book. Sometimes you just do s**t and people can ******** deal with it. Feeling guilty about it isn't worth the grey hairs."
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Posted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 2:47 pm
"Well," Jordan said dryly, "I actually feel bad about what I said to Jerry. Melvin, not so much, I guess I'll have to think that over." He sighed. "s**t, I still haven't had any coffee. Or a shower. It's too early to be having this kind of personal revelation. Think Harrison went back to the room?"
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Posted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 2:53 pm
"Everybody feels bad just for talking to Jerry, as if you are prolonging the slow death rattle of some ******** one legged stray dog or something. He needs to man the ******** up and speak the ******** up." Rep waved off Jerry with his usual brand of helpful opinion. "Maybe. I dunno if its still too early for him to go start his training and s**t. Maybe he'll want to sleep in." At the mention of bathing he had a moment of realisation and self conciousness and leaned off of Jordan again. He probably smelled like death warmed up and Jordan just hadn't said anything about it yet. He stepped back and found himself wringing his hands awkwardly, the confidence the flashed a fin once again back beneath the surface. "And you were right that I'm a mess too. I need a shower." And probably once the adrenaline wore off, a sleep aswell.
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Posted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 3:01 pm
Jordan huffed a soft laugh at the description - not a particularly sympathetic one, but the last waning edges of irritability kept him from wanting to argue it. "Let's go back in," he said, and let go with some reluctance, his hand brushing across Rep's back. "We can still get a couple hours' sleep. I hope he's not too awake to come back to bed."
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