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 Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 11:49 am
"But..." All hope of him maybe seeing where she came from was dashed by the trouble he had gone through, even ones for her. She worried at her lip again.
"But so many of them died. DIED." She put her hands on her lap. "Not reborn with FEAR, not reborn as something else. Gone, dead. They would never exsist again. What would their families think? Their friends when they couldn't come back." She shuddered as she thought she felt the parasite they had put in here move. As if reminding her of the pain and torture.
But it all seemed so little to her because hunters faced something she never had to worry about. Death. True Death.
"I...I'm sorry about Danny." She said quietly, "But there is good hunters, ones who deserve to live and to be happy. Just like their is bad students and the horseman who use us in any way they can." she lifted her chin.
"I don't want to be used by either side, but if I had to choose one, Hunters would be where i stand. I don't want to kill them, I don't want to even hurt them...Why do others constantly have to fight with them...." She was starting to babble a little, whenever she felt like she was trying to say something, it always came out wrong.
"Mei was there too...and she helped the hunters. She faced the same thing and still helped them. I don' think she was wrong too...at all."
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 11:53 am
"So you want to be a weapon?" Roch asked, standing. "You WANT them to use you to spy on us? Or worse, to be stuck as someone's tool to enslave and hurt our own?"
What was--it--
"I thought I knew you better," he said quietly. "I risked EVERYTHING t'save you from them, an' this is how you go?" He turned his back on her. "I don't trust the horsemen," he said quietly. "I don't trust the teachers. And now... hell, it looks like I can't trust you, either."
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 12:03 pm
Amphi stiffened at his words, feeling as she had been slapped. Feeling as if he too water away from her forever. Feeling lost.
Her heart ached so much that she hadn't even realized that she was standing until she was looking at Roch again.
"I don't want to be a weapon, or to be their spy. I don't want to be used, I want to make descisions on what I saw, on what I believe is right. What the horseman are doing is worst then what the humans are doing, and they are targetting both hunters AND students. No one is safe from them." Her voice had taken a odd tone, one laced with hurt but with conviction. She knew what she had done was wrong, at least to not tell him about it but...was it wrong all together? She didn't think so.
"The hunters didn't attack me while I was there, nor was I taken away to be weapon. They told us that we probably couldn't help them and sent us back. Back to our home as if what they face wouldn't affect our world either." She tipped her chin up as tears started to form.
"I know how much you risked for me, Don't you know?" She didn't reach for him though, "I would've done the same for you..." She ended quietly, "But if you feel like you can't trust me, then I don't...see..." her breath hitched before she steadied herself again, "Then I don't see a reason for you to be with me anymore. I won't cause you anymore trouble now. You won't have to risk anything for me. I won't be your burden now.."
Oh jack it hurt so much to say those things, it was like ripping her core out all over again, and never putting it back. her hand clutched over her heart, those tears didn't fall but they were close. She wouldn't cry in front of him no.
"I would've trusted you..."
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 12:10 pm
He looked at her. "You take a rapist... an' a murderer, an' y'stand them side by side," he said quietly. "An' you think the rapist is the better man cuz he lets his victims live." Then he let out a harsh laugh. "I can't even stop lovin' you cuz of this--cuz I see where you're comin' from... a little... but... I gotta think. Just... just let me think," he said. "Don't burn the bridge... just yet."
Maybe he should. Maybe he should just let her walk away from him, let her go on with her life while he went on with his.
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 12:16 pm
"How can you love me if you can't even trust me." She shook her head, black hair swishing at her back. "I don't make the decisions I do lightly Roch. I know what was done to me and to others..." She hesitated, "Why do you think students turn themselves into humans? They believe humans are the ones that are in the right."
She held up her hand, "I don't want to be a weapon, but have you ever thought why Israfel was okay with becoming one? Because the ones we don't need to fear is humans but horseman right now?"
"I don't want to burn the bridge, that doesn't even make sense. Why would I burn the bridge?!!" Of course there was the Amphi ditz moment. Of course there was. "Were talking about humans right now, not bridges."
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 12:22 pm
"I don't know, okay? I don't know how I can still love you when you're this much of an idiot! I don't give a s**t what happens between the horsemen and the hunters--I just don't see where they jackin' GET OFF usin' students as their tools to wage their wars. All I want--ALL I wanted was for you an' me t'graduate an' t'get the jack away from all of this! I'd get a job as a trick or treater, you'd do somethin' else that'd make y'happy, and we'd live happily ever after, away from this bullshit!"
He was yelling. He didn't want to be yelling. "We're so jackin' close, Amphi. So jackin' close," he said quietly, running a hand over his face.
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 12:40 pm
Amphi blinked at being called a idiot. Now it was okay to be called when joking but he was yelling it at her. Yelling...at...her.
She flinched but resumed to standing at her whole 5'4 self at him.
Part of her heart thudded, knowing that he was talking about the future, one with her in it still. One where they were together and happy...But how long until war engulfed them into it?
Whether he liked it or not, war always engulfed everyone in it. They were all paying the price in this and with the stakes so high...
"How can we be so close, when at any moment we could be raided by horseman, or hunters, or the fog, or insanity, or Distoration." She held up her hands. Matching his yelling for a mere moment before returning to her normal voice. "I wanted that with you too, to live with you and to have kids and to be your wife and to...and to be happy but we can't have that, until we face the problems we are dragged into."
More so herself, "I was dragged into the hunter world, so I must bear all the consequences that come with it." All of them. "We can't move on with our lives until we face the ones we have now."
"Maybe...Maybe we should take a break then." She whispered. "Maybe I need to figure out what I want to become, and who I want to be and where I want to stand with. What battles I want to choose, and how to fight them." She wrapped her arms around her waist. "I have your love and you have mine, but you won't trust me until I prove that my descisions might actually be right. That I am doing what's right by me." She bit her lip again.
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 12:46 pm
"Yeah," he said quietly. "Maybe we both need to figure that out." He felt his heart breaking, and he didn't know what to do about it. "But... I can still give you your Christmastival gift, right?" he said with a crooked smile. "It ain't no good t'me." He headed for his closet before she could reply, closing the door behind him as he entered.
For a moment he stood there, taking a long breath as he tried to recover from what... ever that had just happened had been. Then he headed in deeper to get her present.
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 1:12 pm
And just like that, it was closed.
When he left, she clutched her hand over her chest and held it tight. tears actually fell then and she wasn't sure just how to feel. She was confused, angry, upset and lost. Roch was her love, she knew this and to be apart from him, by choice was horrid, it hurt.
After chasing him so hard, and for so long. After finding that they were perfect for each other, it had only taken one descion to break all that trust that they had built up. All she had to work for him to finally believe that he deserved her too.
When he came back though, she'd be back at the table and nibbling on the cold pizza that had been ignored for their arguement. her cheeks were wet from the crying she had allowed herself to indulge in but her eyes were clear and a bit dry. She wouldn't cry in front of him over this.
After all, she had been the one to suggest it.
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 1:17 pm
He came out with a medium sized fishbowl in his hands--and a Comet Eponesce with only the fish part in the bowl. The rest was sitting on the rim, looking around curiously.
"I don't know... ah... if y'like him," Roch said as he headed for her. "But he don't exactly fit in with my punkeesh," he told her, offering the gift. "Sorry I couldn't wrap him--he kept squirmin' out of the ribbons."
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 1:22 pm
Amphi stood again as he came out, holding her hands out for the fishbowl and staring at the minipet.
Jack.
Tears started to fall completely as she clutched the bowl tight and ran to the door, careful not to let the water splash. The poor minipet looked up at her with its own worry.
"I...I can't stay here." She looked over at Roch, "Thank you Roch...I'll..." SNIFF "I'll see you around...some time...here." once she had her things figured out, once he figured out what he wanted about her.
but now she wanted to cry in the comfort of her aquarium and away from him. Right now she wanted to be surrounded by her water. Maybe then she could think of just how she was going to do, what she was going to do.
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 1:33 pm
He dropped down on his bed when she was gone, burying his face in his hands. This... definitely hadn't been what he'd planned on doing for Christmastival, he thought with a dry, bitter laugh. "Jack the hunters," he muttered. "Jack the horsemen, too."
Even when he'd gotten her back, it looked as if they'd taken her from him, after all. As far as he was concerned--millions of horsemen lost forever to become insanity, or thousands of hunters killed--
Well, good riddance. He hoped the rest of them followed soon enough.
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