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 Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 7:04 pm
Just like that, Hel seemed to deflate before his eyes. The brash, loud, angry ghoul slipping and melting into something soft, squishy, easy to break; the last time this happened he ended up in a long term relationship that didn't go well, but he couldn't help but feel bad. It tugged on his stubborn heart strings, almost making him regret his refusal to hear her out. Almost.
Even worse was when he found himself flinching over that she had to say. There he was, fighting to not let it be said, to not hear it or acknowledge it for fear of changing what they had...and yet, this was pretty shattering on it's own, wasn't it? He even admitted to still loving Lizzy...
"...Alright, I guess." He murmured. It was the least he could do, really... "...Should we sit down, then?" He released her shoulders, making a vague gesture to the bed on his left.
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:40 pm
Enoh Love I'm sorry. I really am. So much regret. Have fun
Okay he said. Okay. This was it. He was going to listen to her and let her get these words off of her chest without a fight now.
True to her bi-polar nature, the despair she was feeling not moments prior dissipated and was replaced by excitement. Her face broke out into the widest, pleased smile then, and she brought her fists up, pumping them happily. “Ah! Yes! Thank you so much!” She cried happily and shook her head quickly, her hair flying everywhere. “No, no…I can not!” She spun on her heel then, and strode to one end of his room, where she rested her hands on her hips and looked up at the ceiling. She took a deep breath, and then came back, but remained standing near the reaper, no matter where he settled. Her hands come off of her hips and up as they moved while she expressed herself.
“I like you, Mac….I like you a lot.” She paused, and then continued. “I always have…but as time went on…that like intensified. My sister felt the need to tell me that my feelings were being muddled by sex but…I do not feel like that is true…I mean…I feel like it helps…” She paused for a moment before snorting in amusement. “…But…I liked you before all of that…I liked you for you, and I liked you because you liked me for me. I liked you even more when you told me that you thought I was…perfect…it was just so…so liberating to hear that it was okay and welcomed to be myself. To be accepted by someone truly.” She clenched her fists, and then unclenched then.
“You…you are an a**.” She chuckled. “But I…I like that. You are stubborn, tenacious, lazy at times and a coward as well…but there is nothing about you I would want to be any different. You…you are kind, and caring as well…in your own way, and I see it and I have been on the receiving end of your kindness and concern more than once. You are…there for me when I need it…even when I think I do not at the time…I do. I look back on when you threw me into the tub and I think ‘Thank Jack he did that, I am so happy and grateful he did!’ You…you could have given up on me a number of times…but you never did…and I can not express to you how much that means to me. Then when you have been there for me as of late…I just…my chest swells with happiness just thinking about it.”
Hel paused for a moment, taking a deep breath, because she had uttered a mouthful, and there was more to come. “I am happy with you. I am…happy like this.” She swept her arms out, just gesturing to them. “Going out and eating sushi, and taking our walks, and going out on the boat with you, or even just rolling on you while you try to read the paper…” She grinned a bit. “…Just…us doing what we have been doing for the past few Octobers. I am happy with all that we have been doing. It is…the happiest I have ever been since I came to Amityville.” She paused again before continuing. “…You do…everything I have ever wanted from a boil. You fight with me and do not belittle me for my nature, you butt heads with me, and you put me in my place, whether it be physically or verbally…you hold me without fear or hesitation…and you…touch me in every way imaginable. It was all I ever wanted and I could not ask for anything more…because I am happy with what I have with you now, and so grateful.” She sighed softly.
“Sometimes, I worry about the future. I worry about…what we do now, coming to an end, and I do not want it to…but then…I remind myself that the future…it does not matter right now…or as much as I used to think it did. I learned that lesson. I am happy for what I have with you now…and I am going to enjoy it but…I mean…I think sometimes too…” She paused, and then looked off to the side, out the open window. “…I think if…we did make it to…the far future…I think…” Her voice grew soft, “…I think everyday could be like this.” She held her hands out to indicate them now. “I truly believe…every day would be like this. No stress, no expectations…just…you being you and me being…stupid?” She laughed, since Mac liked to tell her she was stupid often. She trailed off then. “But ah…it is just a thought I have…I am not…putting all of my eggs in that basket.” She rubbed the back of her neck, and smiled a bit before she looked back at him.
“…I think I can sum all of that up on a few words. I am happy with you, Mac…and…thank you, for everything.”
Hel trailed off again and looked down, her brows furrowing in thought. Jack damn…she had said a lot. Maybe she was worried Mac would change his mind and NO her soon, so she word vomited before he had the chance to change his mind. Mac said no feelings…but all of that had been pretty Jack damn gushy…but at the same time…she hadn’t said the L-word either.
“I wondered…if it was ridiculous to be…feeling so strongly for you not too long after well…everything…but then I realized…it was only too easy to…” She paused, looking a bit at a loss. “…It just felt natural…and…oddly…simple to…” Hel huffed, looking a bit exasperated. “To…”
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Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 8:11 pm
Whoa. Whoa. Those were a lot of feelings! It went deeper than Mac ever imagined it would, and before he realized it himself he was sitting down, staring up at her as she continued to talk, telling him all about the times they'd spent together, or the feelings that arose because of them. It was overwhelming, and in that moment he really regretted his decision to hear her out. This was intense, really intense...how could she not feel like this wouldn't have an impact on their 'relationship' right now? What would possess her to think that after all these pretty words and lovely memories he wouldn't have something to say?
Even as he sat there, dumbfounded with just how deeply rooted these emotions of hers were, he tried his best to distance himself. To not feel the dull ache in his chest, the guilt of having someone feel so much for him but being unable to reciprocate to the same degree. He'd already told her that a great part of him was still in love with Lizzy, but he didn't tell her that the rest of his heart belonged to her. That he did love her in some way, or how a great deal of what she was saying could be returned with as much enthusiasm. Yet the guilt was still there, deeply rooted somewhere in his consciousness that he tried so desperately to bury and ignore.
So he did what he thought would save his poor mind and the tiny bud of a relationship that had blossomed between them; he let his mind wander. He stopped listening as best as he could, trying to overlay her voice with something silly like laundry or dishes, or what homework he had to do. It was useless, no matter what he tried he ended up coming back and listening, and no matter how hard he wished, that pool of guilt grew larger and larger.
...And she expected him to say nothing? To not have a reply or an answer or whatever?
Now he was dreading the moment she'd stop talking. He couldn't just let this fall silent, he knew that. Something in him was bubbling as if to prepare for the same amount of word vomit that she was currently spewing.
She thanked him again, and he could feel his cheeks start to burn, feeling the tingles of an uncomfortable and ill-timed blush. That was when he thought she was finished, and that was when he opened his mouth to say something in return, but...well, she wasn't finished, was she? Without realizing it she had cut him off, and Mac felt like he had been saved. Who knew what would have been said had she left it at her thank you? He could have jumped from one serious relationship to the next, but he could have just as easily trampled on that little bud of theirs hard enough to destroy it.
"Shut up." He said as she started to trail off; it wasn't intentional, but for once he was lucky with his timing. Mac didn't sound annoyed or angry, but he certainly wasn't soft or reassuring, either. It was an odd sort of command, one he both meant and didn't mean, but certainly one that he hoped would get the point across. She had saved him from something potentially awkward, and just like that the guilt he was harbouring flew out the metaphorical window. In a few fluid movements he was on his feet again, closing the small distance between them. In a heart beat his mouth was on hers in a heated kiss, his hands pressed firmly against the sides of her neck and his thumbs brushing her cheeks.
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Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 8:28 pm
It was true. She didn’t need a reply or an answer. All she had wanted was to get her feelings for him off of her chest to him. Maybe others would want an answer but…maybe, in a way, Hel was secure and comfortable enough in what they had to not need a verbal reassurance. After all, as important as words were, actions spoke louder than them in more cases than one. Mac may have still loved Lizzy, but he wasn’t with the demoness anymore. He was with her, and that was good enough.
Hel stopped talking when he issued that command, and she blinked rapidly, her hands slowly falling to her sides as she stared at him in mild confusion. After a moment she laughed. “Not because you said so though, just so you know.” She retorted with a grin. “Only because I am tired of tal—“ Once again she trailed off as Mac rose from the bed and closed the distance between them, feeling his warm and rough calloused hands on her neck and cheeks before his lips on hers. The reaction was automatic. She threw her arms around his neck and met him with the same, if not more, heat and force.
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Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 9:00 pm
Her little act of defiance meant nothing to him. She could insist what she wanted, but she certainly did shut up when he kissed her. That was essentially the same as him saying so, at least in his mind. One hand slid to cradle the back of her head, the other sliding down the curve of her shoulder and down to the curves of her torso, coming to a halt at her waist. He gripped her close, pulling her against him, eager to end all this emotional talking and just exhaust any further attempts to continue the conversation. It was easier for him to ignore it and pretend it didn't happen, and what a better way to change the subject than this.
He pulled her towards his bed, and then everything faded into a particularly sexy black.
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