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 Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 8:40 pm
When the words began to start out, Shun was silent, listening carefully to what she had to say. While the computer lacked the ability to give a tone to her words, it still allowed her to say more than what she physically could right now. It wouldn't be much different than if she had to write it on a piece of paper for him.. assuming he could read it properly.
After she had finished, he was still quiet for awhile as he was digesting what was said. He was trying to see things from her angle, but he was struggling. Furrowing his brow, he started to concentrate on this. She said it was different than simply getting beaten down or pushed around. Well, in a way, it was, seeing how they were trying to chop her up. The numerous scars on his body showed that he was no stranger to getting cut. But typically, his wounds were given quick. The scars she had suggested that it might have been another matter.
He noticed he was trying to compare them here, but he knew she had grown up differently than himself. Someone not as hardened to pain was likely going to feel it more.
"I'm.. having some trouble.." he started while he continued to try and dig into it. He had his guesses of how it could affect her, but he was still struggling, "I.. think I can see why it would affect you so much. I might be wrong though. I guess.. I'm too used to abuse.. Mistakes were punished both verbally and physically. For someone who didn't grow up with that.. I guess... undergoing something kind of along those lines for the first time would be... intense. I don't remember the first time I went through it... I can't say I've even been slowly cut apart, though."
The reaper fell silent again for a momet.
"I'm sorry.. I'm not very good at this..." he said while glancing away. His upbringing was to harden him, but right now he felt like it might have crippled him in a way.
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 9:18 pm
Mitsu could tell Shun was struggling but it seemed she had him on the right path to understanding. As long as he continued to try she would as well. If he understood maybe there wouldn't be as much stress. Now it was just a matter of pushing herself forward to talk about what she feared reliving the most.
Her fingers typed away at the keys and it seemed to go on for a while. Whatever she was explaining was lengthy and while it was tough to be detailed she knew it would better help him to understand.
"I think I would have rather been punished. At least being punished I would have known they wanted me to learn something but instead I was knocked out and the last thing I remember was them talking about scraps. I woke up in a blindingly bright room strapped to a table and unable to move. I didn't understand that the buzzing I heard was them shaving my head until I felt the one tech touch my scalp. They weren't interested in teaching me a lesson to throw me back in my cell and give me time to think it over. Their intention was to torture and take me apart. I asked and begged them to stop but they kept doing something with what sounded like a drill."
Mitsu paused then in her typing to lift up her shirt slight just enough to expose her mid-section, her fingers running along the round scars that formed a straight line all the way down her side. While her scars were plentiful they all seemed to have a purpose. They weren't made at random, they had a pattern to them, lines connecting the dots in some places where they had probably planned to section her off. When she was done showing him that much she continued, her typing slow and at times she had to force herself to continue but she went on.
"I guess they grew tired of hearing me after a while. That was when they cut into my throat. I couldn't see much of what was happening. My head really couldn't move but I could see the sharp knives and the techs faces and I could feel them cutting into me. I blacked out a few times and I had really hoped it was over but something always brought me back. There was so much pain, I didn't know how badly damaged I was until I had been set free and tried to run."
She paused again to run her finger along the scar by her jaw before she continued typing. "This section was missing and my arms had been on the way to being dismantled. I could barely move my legs and my torso was a mess. I never would have made it if.." She had stopped typing thinking about how Candace had shown up and.... what had the lady said her name was? Atro...something. It was such a blur really, the noise had been fading in and out with her consciousness. Mitsu had so badly wanted to die then even if it had been permanent.
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 9:49 pm
Again, the Reaper had fallen silent as Mitsu went into details of what went on in that lab. It wasn't just them simply cutting her up as he thought. They had seriously been slowly torturing her. Somehow, he wouldn't have been surprised if they were trying to keep her alive for as long as possible for that as well. The thought made him sick, and his hands balled into fists as he thought about this. It wasn't like what he had grown up with. There were times were he was on the verge of dissipating thanks to the beatings.. but he wasn't quite sure if he could really equate that to outright torture.
No. He had witnessed some unfortunate souls undergoing true torture. It wasn't the same. Beatings were fast. Their purpose wasn't to draw out the pain or whatever.
In any case, it certainly didn't make him like the Hunters any more.
Furrowing his brow, he frowned as she brought up the reason for her coming back. Yes. He supposed he did 'owe' Candace that much, and the very thought had him sneering.
"That doesn't make up for the fact that she allowed you to be put in that situation in the first place," he whispered. He would not be so quick to forgive Candace for making him almost lose the one he cared for most. For actually masquerading as her too. Most likely, there wouldn't be anything that would have him forgive her at this point. Shaking his head, he pushed the thoughts of that particular hunter away and returned to digest everything else that was said.
Looking down, he stared at some of the scars that happened to be on his arm. Had he ever cried and begged for them to stop? Most likely. Though, he knew that wouldn't have done any good. Those times seemed like they were so far back that he really couldn't recall how he felt. And now it wasn't something that was really a huge deal to him.
"I.. can't remember how I've dealt with it in the past," he said, still trying hard here, "Even then, I've never.. quite gone through anything like that. The closest is really getting beaten within an inch of my life."
While he had been called a failure, worthless, pathetic and the like, he couldn't say he had ever been literally dissected. He wasn't really sure how he would handle something on that level. A part of him felt that he could take it, but there was a bit of doubt.
"I wish I could help you with this. I really do. I... don't even know where to begin though. I think I can see why it's haunted you so badly but.. I don't know what I can do about it," he started before staring towards the ground and letting out a sigh, "I'm not like Lizzy. Or even Xiu... or... well.. any of our friends.. They're all probably better at this... Though.. I don't know if this helps at all but.. just try to remember.. I love you. I've never known love before you. You will always be precious and irreplaceable to me... and I am here for you. And as long as I can help it, I will be here for you."
It really probably didn't mean a whole lot though. This was the guy who tried to take pain killers to soothe his heartache. When it came to emotions and the like, he really didn't know, especially when the problem wasn't something he could simply stab.
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Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 6:58 pm
There was a bit of hope in Mitsu's expression as Shun began to speak. He finally was starting to grasp how she felt or at least understood her situation wasn't quite like his own. It wasn't like moving passed a simple beating there was more too it, something heavy and haunting she knew she was going to have trouble pushing aside.
A small smile touched her lips and she reached out a hand to gently place it on one of his. While he wasn't always the best with words sometimes he managed to say exactly what she needed to hear. It was a warm comforting place that at least allowed her a moment of peace even if brief.
Drawing back her hand shortly after she continued to type so that she could let him in on her thoughts.
"I don't need you to do anything, mostly because I don't know what to do myself. Just knowing that you kind of understand is a big help. That when I struggle or have bad days or moments where I seem lost you know its not you but what I've gone through. I felt bad before because I wasn't getting better, I wasn't sure if I was being stupid because I couldn't move passed it and I felt guilty for it as well.
I know I have a long way to go and honestly being here makes it hard. The school...it doesn't feel safe anymore. But just knowing you are there its what has gotten me this far. I probably never would have gone outside again if it wasn't for you being with me. So just know that you help, even if its not with actions and you may not always see huge results but you do make it better."
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Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 7:10 pm
Feeling her hand placed over his, Shun looked up to meet her gaze, catching sight of that small smile. His expression softened at the sight of that, then he went on to listen to what she had to say. It felt a little weird, for her to say that he didn't need to do anything. He still felt like he should be able to do something about this, but again, he was at a loss of what they could do.
"No.. you aren't being stupid. If anything that was me. I'm sorry if I've pushed you too much..."
He knew he had been pressing hard on this or that. He had gotten frustrated at times, not knowing why they were having trouble. At least now he had a little more insight. The Reaper made a note to try and keep that in mind. As she said she had a long way to go, he frowned lightly. He was going to need to be patient.
However, the mention of the school feeling dangerous did give him an idea.
"Perhaps... Perhaps we need to vanish for awhile then. The school does tend to attract trouble. It might do well for us to go away for a time. We can see some more of Halloween, be on our own. Maybe a sort of... I suppose you could call it a vacation.. Maybe that will help you heal. And perhaps when we return this place won't seem so much of a trap," he suggested, speaking slowly to try and get his thoughts out. Granted, the outside world would have its own dangers too... not to mention.. himself.
"Though... I tend to attract trouble as well. Titus once mentioned that our lives are like a disaster waiting to happen. I'd.. understand if you didn't really feel safe traveling with just me."
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Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 2:40 pm
The heavy weight was lifting slightly, the pressure finally easing just a bit. It was like she had gone from a completely suffocating situation to where she could finally get a breath of air. It was a start, a good start, and she didn't feel as pressured to pretend anymore.
His proposal though was....interesting. In reply she began to type.
"Vanish? Like running away?" Well he had said vacation. "Where would we go?" She didn't have a lot of money and she was curious on how they would get by but didn't ask that just at the moment. The thought of getting away, no matter how difficult it might be seemed...appealing. Maybe they would find somewhere safer for a time.
Staring at him for a long moment after he said he attracted trouble Mitsu waited for him to finish before she continued to type. "Everyone's lives here are a disaster waiting to happen. And Titus is a jerk so you really shouldn't listen to him. I would follow you anywhere. I love you. Maybe it would be good for us to both get away for a while."
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Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 2:51 pm
"Running away implies we intend to never return. As for where... we can go just about anywhere. Just not here," Shun replied, "I still have money. We won't be able to do anything fancy but as long as we're careful we should be able to get by. I'll have to see if I can scrounge up some more funds as well."
Hearing her 'speak' some more had his gaze softening. It was always reassuring to hear that she would stick by him regardless. Though in a way, it also worried him. He was bound to get her into trouble. It was a sort of give and take he supposed. Reaching out, he took her hand and squeezed it gently.
"Yeah.. How about we take a few days to pack and get whatever we need. That should give me time to get some extra seeds as well. Only take what you need since we'll have to carry our things and may need to walk a lot. The laptop.. may have stay behind unfortunately. We might not find many opportunities to charge it up."
This meant communication might be difficult for them. But hopefully, there won't be a need to have a long talk like the one they were having now while they were on the road.
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 3:26 pm
Go anywhere. It seemed like an amazing thought. There were so many places she had never seen and the idea of getting away from the school was just...too good to pass up. This place had felt like home for the longest time and now she wasn't sure she felt safe here any longer. Maybe some time away would fix that because it was really the only home she had.
She nodded about taking a couple of days to get their stuff together. It would give her time to figure out what she wanted to take and to leave a note for the others while they were gone. It was a little discouraging to leave the laptop behind since when her ability to speak was gone it was the only means of communication. He was right though. There probably wouldn't be a lot of times to charge it and toting it around would risk getting in broken. Leaving it here was the best option.
Typing again she looked to Shun only after she hit enter. "Will I be packing for camping like before? Can I bring Milo?"
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 3:33 pm
While the school had definitely been more of a home to him than his real 'home' had ever been, it did sound nice to get away for awhile. Especially if it might be able to help Mitsu to an extent. At least that was what he was hoping. If she didn't feel safe here even after their time away, he wasn't sure what they could do.
"Yes. There may be some times where we'll have to camp out for the night. And..."
He trailed off on the mention of the minipet.
"That's.. up to you. We may run into some trouble or if we can spend a night in a hotel or inn they may not allow minis," he pointed out. Milo could help keep her comforted but at the same time he didn't want to risk something happening to the fox.
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 1:59 pm
Mitsu nodded at that. She would have to decide if it was worth the risk of taking him. She would like to hope they wouldn't run into any trouble but when she hoped for it the most it usually wasn't the case. It was a tough decision since she really wanted to bring him along instead of leaving him by himself. Mitsu felt bad enough for leaving him during her time on the Hunter Island but it was something she really couldn't help.
"I will decide and plan out what I want to bring." She typed. "I should be able to carry a bit if needed, more so in my true form if need be." It was at least an offer. If there was something useful that they could bring along that would be awkward to carry she could have that covered.
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 2:11 pm
Shun raised an eyebrow at his lycan.
"You shouldn't have to act as a packmule," he noted. Though, her true form was probably going to come in handy regardless now and then. Even so, he didn't want her to be a beast of burden for their little vacation, "I will help carry whatever load we have."
That said, he figured that should do for this discussion. Leaning over, he pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, then reached over to grab his guitar.
"Hopefully this excursion will be good, for the both of us. Also.. thank you for explaining things. Or trying to at least," he said quietly while lightly hitting the strings of the instrument.
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 4:48 pm
Nodding again Mitsu leaned her head up as Shun came forward to give her a kiss, her eyes opening and trailing after him when he reached for his guitar. Curious she continued to type.
"Will you be able to bring your guitar or will it get damaged?"
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 4:52 pm
"The guitar will likely get damaged. I'd rather not end up needing to replace it," Shun noted. Not to mention that it was a little bulky to carry around, even if he could sling it over his shoulder. The reason why he had grabbed it now was that he felt like playing at the moment. Perhaps something to help keep things at ease. "Too bad. It might be nice to play on some nights we're out camping and such," he said quietly before he began to play a soft song.
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 5:17 pm
It was a shame he couldn't bring it along. Mitsu had been looking forward to hearing him play. She supposed she would just have to live it up now while she could. As Shun began to play Mitsu fell silent, her fingers drawing back from the laptop so that she could listen. Closing her eyes she let the soft melody wash over her, soothing her in a way that only music could.
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