Welcome to Gaia! ::

Once again, Malodore listened as Calder spoke, feeling the kelpie's pain and anxiety pricking at the edge of its empathy. "I am sorry," it said, quietly, when he had finished. "I understand your feelings, somewhat. Before I was sentenced to exile... well, the tipping point was that I saved a young ghoul's life, but I did not save it in an 'approved' manner." It made finger-quotes around the word 'approved'. "Thus, the Elders viewed my actions as more reprehensible than simply letting her die outright. It... it shocked me, truly, to see the depth of their inflexibility, the extent of their hidebound natures. Even then, it seemed unfeeling and empty to me. Now, it seems truly foul."

The plague doctor shook its head. "You have us," it added, lifting one hand and placing it on Calder's shoulder. "And you have Barth. But... I have learned that one can have hope for the future and grief for the past at the same time."

"Then do so," Malodore said firmly. "There is no one here to stop you, I do not think. Is that not what this school is for, to strengthen us and teach us to be more than we were when we came here? I think we have all become stronger, and will become stronger still." It opened its beak in a small smile.

Malodore tilted its head to the other side. "I do not believe anyone is here to stop you in that goal, are they? I admit that physical prowess is not my personal forte, but... if there is anything I can do to aid you, I will do it. Even if it is only mending up scrapes and scratches after."

It looked thoughtful. "Monsters become strong... through scaring? Practice? Causing damage, perhaps?"

"Ah! It is a kelpie thing, then? A stallion... a male? Your current equine form is female, correct?"

... It had no idea how to fix that. Other than surgery.

"Mmm." Malodore tilted its head yet again, this time in thought rather than quizzical inquiry. "I... confess that I do not know much about gender. It seems rather arbitrary. Can you not envision yourself as remaining male as you shift? Though if it were that simple, I am sure you would have already thought of it," it added. "Perhaps an infusion of FEAR?"