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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 9:41 pm
Dear Dosie,
There's so much I want to say to you, but I never know how to say it. What would you do if I told you the only reason we are such good friends is because I never trusted you? You came into my life at a time when I was so hurt I couldn't trust anyone. It shocked me when you first told me I was one of your best friends, that I was like a sister to you. I had never even considered you a friend at the time. Just when I started getting closer to you, you proved to me that I could never trust you. I don't even know if you know what you did or how it effected me. That was over a year ago. I still don't trust you, and never will. That's why we are so good together, I've never trusted you enough for you to hurt me. I'm sorry I make you worry. I try so hard to hide my feelings but you just see right through my smile. Part of me loves you for that and part of me hates you for it. I just want you to be happy.. I wish I could make you happy.. I try so hard, I promise I do. I feel like I go through so much hell just to hide my problems from you and it only makes everything worse. Thank you for caring. You understand a lot more about me than anyone else. Thank you for trying to make me smile. Your one of the few friends I've ever had who doesn't ignore me when there are others around. Today you texted me and asked me to walk through town with you. We only got to hang out for thirty minutes before you gave me a hug and had to go. You didn't really care about what was going on in town, you just wanted to see me. You make me feel special, like I actually exist when I'm with you. Theres only a few people who have ever made me feel like that. You make me smile, and you make me cry. You make me feel l like I'm important, and like I'll never be good enough. You bring me to life, and make me want to die. I love you.
~Boo Bear
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 1:21 am
Dear M, Thank you. Thank you so much. Esme Xx
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Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 5:30 pm
Dear mom and dad, I wish I could tell you what's going on with me right now. But you already have enough to worry about with big brother and helping me get into art school...plus work and finishing up with a bunch of stressful stuff.... Besides I'm pretty sure dad would just turn what I'm feeling into a joke and I really can't handle that right now I don't want to disappoint you so I'll just pretend for now that nothing's going on. I love you guys. ~Mel
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 6:23 am
Dear S Its not that I dont love you. I really do. I love being with you and talking too. Everything feels right when we're together. But right now i'm going through something that's confusing me, so I need time away from you to figure that out. You say you understand but you called me crying last night begging me to tell you how much I love you. I ended up sending it to you in a text because I couldn't speak at the time without breaking down into tears. I love you and I care about you but please don't ask me to do that again. I need to find myself and you're distracting me. I'm sorry -mel
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 12:45 pm
Dear A, It's not that your a bad person, but I'll never like you. You're a great friend, but you'll never be anything but that. A friend. It's not like we're going to get anywhere anyways, you know? I think you'll find that out soon enough; without me having to tell you. I don't want to upset you or anything; but I'll eventually have to tell you this. I'm a lesbian. Weird, huh? I'd bet you'd never have guessed it in a million years! I'll try to make myself obvious; that might help. You know Ir, out friend, right? I think I might be developing a slight crush on her. She's adorable, smart, and she's bi! Well, her Facebook profile says she is. So I might have a chance, unlike my last crush! She's been txting me lately, much more than anyone else! She texted 'good morning' in the morning to me a few days in a row! emotion_awesome But my point is that I'll never like you, sorry about that. -N
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 7:48 pm
Dear mom, I wish you would stop talking about what kind of boy I might date.... I want to date a girl. But then agin, you don't know that. still, I don't like the fact that you assume I'm automatically straight because I dated ONE guy. I wish you would start being more open minded on your own so I wouldn't have to practically slap you in the face with this concept -.- ~Mel
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Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 2:48 pm
Dear H, i have no clue how or where you learned your relationship skills but they are total and complete garbage, you have no clue how to treat another human being. i wish i didn't have to write this, i really wish you were a little more aware of the people that care about you. the way you talk to me and treat me is sad. So why don't i just give up and tell you to piss off? because i see something in you that is worth sticking around for, if only as a friend.
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Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 12:52 pm
Dear Mom, I know my OCD is the worst it has ever been this year, but I really don't want to be on medication. I don't feel like something is wrong with me, I feel like something is different with me and I don't want to change that. I know that it annoys you and it's controlling my life but I will not take medication.
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Posted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 4:17 pm
Dear Captain Caldwell, I don’t even remember why I added you on Facebook, maybe it was because you were pretty, or I was proving the point that people will add anyone on that stupid social networking site. In fact, I have managed to remember the first time we spoke {Albeit, indirectly}. It was May 26th, less than two weeks ago, that you posted something about changing your Facebook language to pirate. I quickly followed suit, elated by this discovery, and left a simple comment unthinkingly. “You’re my new favourite person.” It did not take you long to reply, and I drawled out an uninterested answer. I mean, I don’t feign interest. Nothing interests me…
I’m almost ashamed to say that mere moments after I swore off girls, you messaged me in ‘Ye olde pirate’s tongue’. You were charming and funny, and it wasn’t long before our chance conversation turned to more. We dropped the pirate-act, and began to speak truthfully. More idle conversation, and you blurted that you were “Pansexual”. I, being a socially-inept person, did not understand the reason you had brought it up in such a.. Less-than-Casual way.
The next night, once again at five in the blessed evening, you messaged me. Conversation came easy between us, and we stayed up well into the wee hours of morning, just talking. I began to worry, unsure if you were tugging at my trousers or just being friendly. I do not have many friends that aren’t abnormal, so I am not learned in the way of teenagers.
I woke up the next morning, a slight smile on my face. I had begun to feel that I had discovered your patterns. I expected another message at five, but I still could not wait. I found you entertaining and dazzling. I hated the blasted social network, but I was becoming attached to my phone, awaiting for your slightest beck-and-call. My goofy smile began to falter, however, as the clock ticked. It chimed, the small, ornate hand landing upon five. I found no message, and went to play video games. My impatience continued to eat away at me as I waited, biting my lip and trying not to obsessively check my cellular device. I knew my behavior was completely uncalled for, but you were already driving me insane. Sadly, I got no reply that night.
Needless to say, my patience ran out, but I learned to ignore the nagging itch fueling my odd actions. However, when you messaged my two days later, I literally victory danced {In my infamous boxers} throughout my house. I was elated, and the game began. As the days passed, our conversation grew teasing, your Trouser-Tugging becoming more insistent. This teasing atmosphere was occasionally broken by a tense moment, but I quickly led the conversation back to an easy game. I was enjoying this.
And here I am, waiting impatiently again. I found myself an artist who loves puns, Doctor Who, and hates fudge. I drink your words eagerly like wine and I’ve found myself listening to cheesy Paramore, Owl City, and Panic! At the Disco. You’ve asked me to marry you jokingly, and I would love to accept. However, I doubt you’ll ever read this, because I’m almost afraid. No matter how much I like you, I am not the touchy-feely, intelligent, and attractive girl that a beautiful, eloquent pirate like you deserves. Maybe if I wasn’t currently trapped in the infamous closet in a horrid land known as Oklahoma and knew just how to be loving, we could embark on such an adventure. I may not know why I added you, but I’m glad I did.
Sincerely, ~That Girl in the Bowtie~
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Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 4:37 pm
Dear Future-Girlfriend, Right after you accepted my request of a date {Or I accepted yours}, I would, without doubt, go home and panic. I wouldn't obsess over what to wear, However, because I am always well-dressed.. Or lounging around my house in boxers and combat boots. I have a feeling that would be one of the things you would like about me. When I finally manage to knock on your door after a nerve-wracking drive to your house and having to stand outside trying to prevent myself from hyperventilating to the point of passing out on your doorstep, I'll smile weakly when you open your door. I'll accept your invitation and walk in on trembling legs. I can only pray that I don't have to meet your parents.. Instead, I'll stand there in a cold sweat, trying not to mess up.
Maybe we'll watch a movie that I brought, one of my obscure favourites.. Or maybe a new release. I just know that I wouldn't be able to handle a real date at the movie theater just yet. Afterwards, it'll be late and I'll be restless. Finally, I may be acclimated to your presence just enough that I'll be able to stutter out a question. "D-do you wanna.. walk somewhere? Maybe.. Um, I don't know." We'll go, and walk side by side into the darkness. I will have brought a flashlight, just in case this turns out like the classic opening to a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" episode. I know it won't, but I'll chuckle out loud at the thought. We'll wander until I end up at a park, and sit on the creaky swing set with a sigh. You'll sit next to me with a laugh, and I'll panic, thinking that you're laughing at me. I turn to you, and end up breaking the silence. "Did you know that sunsets are a result of sunlight interacting with molecules in the air, primarily nitrogen and oxygen, which cause it to be deflected in all directions?" I blurt with a nervous smile. You laugh softly and my cheeks grow warm. Suddenly, a spark of conversation starts. I swing slightly as we begin to swap answers to asinine questions. Time passes, and I find myself with my hand in yours. You yawn and I get up to walk you home, elated. I linger at your house a while longer before I head to leave. You follow me to the door and I offer a goofy grin and wave. Instead of closing the door, you lean into a soft kiss.
My heart thunders, my cheeks are hot, and I stumble down your steps. I manage to make it to my car without passing out. I have to sit there and regain my focus before I drive away.
And I know I'll be listening to "Folding Chair" the entire way.Sincerely, That Girl in the BowTie
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Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 6:20 pm
Dear "E",
We've been friends for a long time now, and I remember the first time we met. I remember pushing you to chase after the girl you liked, "F". I remember feeling ecstatic that she liked you back. I was excited when you guys started to date, because that meant you were happy. But... I remember, slowly but surely, I was starting to fall for you. I remember how every moment I pulled away, you were trying to pull back, to make me say why I was pulling away... and I, awkwardly, had told you of my feelings.
I remember crying because, for once, I was happy- you said you cared about me the same way.
But, in time, we remembered that you still had her.
I don't blame you, you know, for choosing her. I still smile. I still ask how you're doing, how she's doing... at least, more so than I used to after you'd told me your decision. I don't blame you because I rooted for you guys, and a part of me still does.
Someday, I'll be able to not look pained whenever I hear your answers, or whenever you say her name. Someday, I'll look back and laugh about that time I used to love you. Someday, I'll be okay again. But, today, I'll keep trying- and I'll keep hoping you're happy because you were the first girl I've met who said that I was a great person, who didn't want to control or destroy me. I'll keep praying you're happy, because that's really all I want.
Because, someday, I hope I'll be happy like you are.
Sincerely, "A"
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Posted: Sat Jul 27, 2013 2:25 pm
Dear My lovely, I should hate you.. But all I feel is regret. I'm upset and wracked with guilt because I keep trying to believe that maybe all this could've been prevented. If I had been strong in the first place or at least...tried harder. I'm angry with myself.. The last time we spoke, I said things I shouldn't have. And I can't take them back..
I know you're back with her again; the one who I can't stand. I know we're too messed up to be whole again, and that you're tired and I'm tired.. I know we're beyond broken. And that I've possibly lost you for good. And I'm trying really hard to forget you and push you out of my memory, but how can I when everyone and everything around me just reminds me of you..
I'm sorry. God, I'm always sorry. I've always only wanted you to be happy. That's why I wanted to let go in the first place.. So you could breathe and have space.. But now I know...
"We accept the love we think we deserve." That quote has never been more true.. You always said I deserved better.. That you deserved her because of karma.. Well you got it. You're accepting it. And who am I to tell you otherwise. I can't save you. I never could. I don't think you want me to save you. I'm praying that someone will though.. Someone to sweep you off your feet and make you smile, and protect you the way I couldn't.
I told you I'd always love you.. And I will. I should hate you. ********, I want you to hate me. To forget me the way I can't seem to forget you. And what really sucks is that I'd still take you back in a ******** heartbeat if you showed up wanting me.
I guess I'm still not strong enough.
Here's hopes that one day, I might be. Sincerely, Your darling. ----------------------- Dear Complete piece of s**t ******** who currently gets to hold the most amazing angel in her arms and doesn't ******** deserve it, I seriously hope that one day you get your s**t together. She's chosen you, even after you cut her so deep. I watched as she hurt and cried and ached, because you wrecked her already broken heart. I ******** up okay? The universe or some other forces all around have told us that we're not meant to be together. At least not right now.
If you love her like you claim you do, then get your s**t together. Treat her like the angel she is; like the ******** princess she deserves to be treated like. Love her endlessly and write her things. Ask her about her day and ask her to tell you stories, and then tell her stories. Dance with her. Watch her dance. Never take your anger out on her because she doesn't deserve it. She deserves only the best. Don't be jealous, because she'd never be unfaithful. When she loves, she gives all she can. Take care of her. Do not ******** treat her like property. She's beautiful, so tell her every day. Remind her how amazing she is. Every. ********. Day.
And keep in mind that regardless of what the ******** happens, I'm always going to love her more than you ever will. You may love her now, but I loved her first. And in some way, she'll always be my lovely. Even if it's just in my memories. Sincerely, Your eternal enemy.
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Invisible Conversationalist
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Posted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 5:20 pm
Dear Kari,
I don't know why you are being a b***h to me all of a sudden but you need to calm your a** down! I noticed your attitude change towards me when I finally got a girlfriend that wasn't you. You were never there for me when I needed you but I was always by your side. When you came out to your parents who did you drag into the fight with you? Me. When you and Jamie had your first fight, who did you call crying to and stayed up with you all night talking to you? Me. Who took you to your prom so you weren't alone watching your ex and her girlfriend? Me. But when I was sick, where were you? When I was in the hospital, where were you? When my best friend died, where the hell were you?! No where to be found. At least my girlfriend makes me happy and is here for me. I'm sorry your so damn jealous but get over yourself! I'm happy.
Sincerely, Tess
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Posted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 6:31 pm
Dear Princess,
Ever since you came into my life when we were younger I knew there was something about you that I couldn't put my finger on back then. But now I know what I saw in you back then. I fell in love with you from the beginning. I just didn't know it then since we were so young. We have been friends for almost 20 years. Just about 2 years shy honestly. You saw me at my lowest, you've been there when I was broken. You have been my rock throughout everything, the stupid decisions I've made, the heartbreak, the torment. You have stood by me constantly, through my coming out, my break ups, the fights I've gotten into for love, and recently you have been here for me when I was hospitalized and horribly sick. And I love you for it.
You have made me the happiest since you said yes. And this is my promise to you. I will never hurt you or do you wrong. I will always respect you and every decision you make. I will support you with everything you want to do and will do in your life. I will treat you like the princess, better yet Queen that you are. You are an angel sent to me when I was at my lowest. And you have supported me through everything. The least I could do is be 100% behind you and supportive of you.
To know that you have been trying to get my attention for the last few months I feel foolish for not coming out and asking you sooner. I just feared rejection from you. I wanted to talk to you about it before I did but my nerves got the best of me. I'm glad I finally just came out and asked you. Even though I feared all rejection from you.
You are my rock, my backbone and you have never once treated me badly, poorly, or looked down at me for everything I have done. You mean the world to me baby and I love you so much. I am so happy we are finally together .
Love you dearly. Your Tessa Doll ♥
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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 1:07 pm
Dear J,
I hope to one day forgive you, but I'll never be able to forget. Sometimes I think about the past and miss the good times. And I think about the future and imagine that we could have more good times, even as friends. But after all that you've done to me. Betrayed me. There's no way that I can think that you are a good person, and I never want to be friends with you again.
I just wish that I could find a way to fill this loneliness that you left. I wish I knew how. And I wish I knew how to forget you. I want to stop thinking about you. I'm afraid that I will become friends with you, that I will talk to you again. I worry that this will happen, because a part of me desires it. But an even bigger part of me also hates you, and wants to forget that you ever existed.
Please leave me alone.
Sincerely, Res
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