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 Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 10:18 pm
She flinched under his touch, torn between wanting to just hold onto him tightly and push him away, but she held her spot for now.
She didn’t look up, keeping her gaze down. “Stop talking to me like that…!” Her voice got a bit heated. “…I did not…I did not build up my entire world around you…I just…I have goals and ambitions…my own…I just…I just wanted you to always be there…to be apart of them. I had dreams…a lot of them involved you…but it does not really matter, anymore.”
Her hands shot up to grasp his wrists, and she shook her head, sniffling a bit, but still kept her gaze down, her bangs hiding her eyes. “Do not sit there…any make such…bold claims. You do not know that my heart will heal…and that is so…so…cruel to tell me that I will find another, when I have not even gotten over you.” If she ever would.
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 10:23 pm
Mot didn't know what to say.
Not at all.
His hands let go over her shoulders as he felt her grab his wrists. "I'm.. I'm sorry." He couldn't help but apologize, even if she'd get mad at him for it. He was truly sorry.
His heart hurt, his throat hurt. He felt horrible.
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 10:34 pm
Hel fell silent again. She didn’t have anymore she could say. This was a battle she had truly lost. It didn’t matter how hard she tried, or how much she believed in them, or how much she loved him, it didn’t change anything.
Eventually Hel released his wrists, and then leaned forward, where she crawled into Mot’s lap. She flopped then, resting her torso across his legs and letting her head hang off of one as well, and her arms wrapped tightly around his waist. “…Have I done anything good for you at all?” She asked her voice choking. Please say this hadn’t been in vain, and that she hadn’t been a horrible being to him the entire time.
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 10:40 pm
Mot was thankful for one thing. She didn't storm off. But he was surprised she moved forward, letting her fall across his lap. He rested his hands on her back and on top of her head. Gently, he petted her hair, hoping it was at least some comfort.
"Of course you have." Mot murmured quietly, "A lot, actually. You've taught me to be confident. Taught me to take chances. Taught me to be brave, fight for what I believe in. You listened to me complain and whine time after time with patience. You never stopped believing in me, even when I couldn't believe n myself."
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 10:59 pm
His touch was a bit of comfort, but on the other hand, it really wasn’t.
What did bring Hel a bit of a peace of mind though, were his words. Okay. She had done something good for him. That was good. It hadn’t been in vain. She had done something for him. He had done something good for her…she was sure he did, but right now, she couldn’t clearly think. It hurt too much. “…I think this is the first time you praised me in a very long time.” She murmured. “…For the longest time…it just felt like everything I did only warranted harsh words from you…no matter what I did. It was disheartening. I was starting…to not care what I did anymore. Why would it matter, if everything out of your mouth was negative anyways? Doing the wrong thing…doing the right thing…it did not matter. I feel a bit better about that now.”
She took in a shuddering breath. “Mot…we will always be friends, right?”
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 11:04 pm
Mot frowned, continuing to pet her hair. He needed to learn from what she was saying to him. A lot of their problems.. it was mostly him. His expectations were always too strict, he was always too quick to nitpick, or get cross.
He was so tired of it. So tired of hurting her.
"Yes.. I don't see why our friendship would come to a close in the future. I enjoy your company, and value you highly."
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 11:11 pm
“…I had hoped our love would have lasted forever.” She paused, her lip wibbling a bit. Stupid. Stupid emotions.
“…So…at the least, I want our friendship to last forever. Promise me it will. Promise me you will fight for that always, at least.” None of this wishy washy ‘I don’t think our friendship would end in the future’ bit…
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 11:15 pm
Hel and her promises. Mot frowned. He needed to reign in his instincts, instincts that told him it was impossible to promise the future.
"I promise." He said firmly, "I'll fight for our friendship, Hel. To the bitter end." At the very least, it was easier to be Hel's friend than her lover, as cruel as it seemed.
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Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 8:40 am
“Thank you.” She murmured, her voice quieter then it had been before.
Just a smidgeon of comfort right now, that was all it was, but it did nothing to ease the ache. After some time, Hel pushed away from him and sat back on her feet. Part of her wanted to ask if she could stay the night, to be wrapped in his arms just for the sake of having him there…but another part of her said no. No, she couldn’t handle that. It’d just make it hurt more tomorrow. The reaper glanced up at the cowboil, and then immediately turned her gaze away. Yeah, it wasn’t happening tonight.
Hel pushed herself up and collected her spindle and her box of foxfire fur. “…I am going now.” She murmured, her gaze on the door. “….It hurts to look at you right now.”
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Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 8:54 am
Mot stood as Hel did, watching her face carefully. Should he let her go? It was best. She needed time to deal with her feelings alone, or with someone that was not him. As much as this all hurt, it was for the best. He was sure of it. Stringing her along would be cruel. He did the right thing.
"Okay..." Mot murmured, trying to refrain from fidgeting like he usually did. "Um.. take care."
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Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 8:59 am
…Take care.
That was all, huh? So Jack damn polite and reserved, still. Putting distance between them…it was painful. Hel’s lips pulled into a grimace and she adjusted the box she was carrying. “…Ya…whatever.” She muttered, her head dropping now as she quietly padded her way to the door and opened it. She didn’t hesitate this time once it was open, and stepped on through and out into the hall, closing it behind her quietly.
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Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 9:05 am
And then she was gone.
Since their time together, Mot and Hel had a lot of ups and downs. Tension before their relationship, tension after it ended the first time. A roller coaster of emotions, good and bad.
It hurt to see her go, knowing how much she hurt. But at the same time there was a sense of relief. A connection had been lost, but a weight had also lifted. He did love Hel, but just not the way she loved him, and he no longer had to have that love as a sort of heavy burden or shoes to fill. No expectations of himself to try and meet her up in that high bar she had set for him, or perhaps that he had set for himself.
Maybe he was a terrible boil. Maybe he was running, or being selfish. It took something very intimate for him to get the courage and thoughts to sort through his emotions, picking through what was what.
In the end, Hel was hurting. There was no winning, but there was finally a conclusion to a long and painful tale.
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