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 Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:00 pm
The sun glinted off of Jerry's glasses as he waited.
His coat was still permanently stained with blood and gore.
"I can't trust you, Rep."
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:02 pm
"Well that makes two of us. Because I can't trust me either." he snorted. "Not with my ******** temper and shitty judgement."
Again he found himself rotating the bracelet nervously "I'm not asking you to trust me. I'm asking you to forgive me for what's past. And let me show you like everyone else I'm not a lost cause."
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:13 pm
Suddenly, Jerry laughed, a bit too loudly with a touch of manic. "You know... I don't think I've ever hated someone as much as I hate you. I really am finding myself not giving a damn whether you live or die. And that's saying something. Pfft and you managed this by accident? I find that hard to believe." He pushed his glasses up his nose, "The first step is always admitting you have a problem. Regardless of what that problem is. But it seems to me you still don't give a damn. I tried to win your respect through 'battle,' Rep. It didn't work. You went back to hating me immediately after. I tried to be kind to you. I tried to be nice to you. I tried to show you the respect I hoped you'd show me. I tried reasoning with you. And what did you do?"
He shook his head, staring directly into Rep's eyes, "It's going to take a lot more than 'I'm Sorry' to fix this. And if I see you near Sasha or ANYTHING belonging to me, I will blast off something you'll miss a lot more than an arm or a leg, you understand me?"
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:25 pm
He'd never actually realised how much Jerry had tried. But now that the other man mentioned it, he'd done a lot to try and reach out and at least be friendly. Rep had just assumed it was a threat, an insult. People only wanted to be direct friends when they were after something. But now he was just reminded of all the times the other man had swung by with a friendly word or even, on the eve of the hellish fight against the horsemen, a song or two. It was just so radically different from what Rep had known that he reacted venomously every time. He'd seen the respect as a weakness to be attacked.
"I didn't even notice."
He frowned with an edge of dissapointment at himself. Even after swearing he'd make an effort with his fellow suns, he'd ignored all the olive branches. "It always felt like you were taking the piss, making fun of me somehow, no one acts like that." his own tone slipped over into the almost cracked and manic as he gestured along with his words, correcting himself. "No one I knew."
He could only hold Jerry's gaze for a few moments before he had to look away, eyeing the ground.
"I mean.. yeah. Yeah. I hear you."
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:32 pm
"I acted like that. Being friendly, being kind, being out-reaching is all I knew. At least until you taught me what an idiot's mission it was."
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:47 pm
"Being a nice person isn't an idiot's mission. Its ******** BRAVE. Putting yourself out there all the ******** time so assholes like me can shoot you down. Wearing your heart on your sleeve. I couldn't do it."
He shrugged. "The only people who were out reaching or friendly to me were therapists and s**t. And they were all fake as ********, most of them just wanted to take me away from my home. I've never met people who MEANT it."
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 7:03 pm
Jerry chewed the inside of his cheek, watching Rep carefully as he debated internally for several moments. Finally, he came to a resolution. "I was taught by a very wise woman. A very kind old woman very similar to the one you so... so... so easily destroyed," He felt his throat clench, his mouth straining to stutter and stammer as he spoke but he fought his way throuhg it to keep his words clear. "A woman who meant a great deal to me. A lot more than a man who hates me because I'm friendly, and would shoot me in the face given any glimmer of opportunity. I don't think... I don't think you really comprehend the depth of the hole you've put yourself in. What you've done to me. What you've done to Jordan, anyone who's remotely close to you, on good terms or not."
"If you really mean it. If you really aren't just trying to weasel your way out of trouble and WANT to improve yourself and ... all this mess you've made for yourself..." He suddenly jabbed Rep in the chest with a skinny, slender finger, "You pick the instrument. You learn the instrument. And you come see me again and you play it like you know how to play it. Then maybe I will consider giving you one last chance as a person. Remind me why we're still human."
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 7:30 pm
Rep actually listened to what Jerry had to say for a change, frown deepening as he mentioned the similarity between the woman he had murdered on the mission and someone else he'd known. It set the cries of anguish from that day in a much sharper light.
As he was offered the ultimatum, his frown deepened even more. Learning. Learning anything was tough, and instruments were particularly finicky. "If that's what you want me to do." he sighed heavily "Then I'll try to do it. "
He just wasn't sure it'd be any good.
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 7:51 pm
"Apologize in song," He murmured, his face still grim as he pushed his glasses up his nose one more time. "In the cafeteria."
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 7:57 pm
There was a very strong urge to beg for a little mercy. "Fine then. In song..." he grimaced. "In the cafeteria."
He sighed. "Can I choose synth?" He'd ******** around with some of the song programs back when he sold the pirated games and at least a synthesiser sounded like it was possible to bullshit having a clue what he was doing.
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 8:09 pm
"Synth?" It took Jerry a moment to remember what that meant. A skinny fist suddenly lashed out to catch rep's nose. "I'm not JOKING here. That's not an instrument. That's a program that emulates instruments FOR you and defeats the purpose. I mean a PROPER instrument. Those are my terms."
It ultimately didn't matter if Rep succeeded or not. But if he put forth the EFFORT... that would tell him volumes. And maybe, just maybe, Rep would benefit from some musical therapy. "I mean a bass, a guitar, a violin, a flute, some freaking drums."
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 8:45 pm
Rep's disappointment at not getting his way was short lived as his nose was punched, outright yelping, the damn thing had always been particularly tender since the break years back. The fights he'd gotten into since hadn't helped either. "********! Watch what you are doing. Not the nose." He rubbed it carefully with a wince, sniffing and generally being dramatic.
"Fine, fine I'll see what there is." Not a flute or violin though, he thought - those were for nerds. "Maybe a bass guitar. Those are the ones that are like DUN DUN DUNNNN right?" he motioned with an air guitar as he stated this, as if it was mandatory.
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 9:10 pm
"Whatever you want," Jerry kept his face blank as he made his little scene.
He'd give Rep one more chance. For Jordan. But he wouldn't pretend to be happy about it.
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 9:14 pm
"Fine. I'll play your little game then. Just don't be annoyed when I'm better at it than you." He knew he would be awful, but sometimes he just couldn't help but try and deflect the tension with hopeful humour. He'd been doing that a lot lately, pretending everything was so hilarious, when there was very little funny about being completely unarmed.
Speaking of unarmed.
"Oh and. Er. What you said about Sasha earlier. Am I allowed to go near her to like, at least apologise and s**t? I can't hurt her. I really can't." he gestured to the scars either side of his throat.
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 9:32 pm
Jerry snorted humorlessly. "That would be a marvel. So if you're done, then." He straightened his blood stained jacket, turning to leave.
Did he feel any better? He wasn't sure. Not entirely. Again, afloat in wishywashy discontent. He'd sort it out. At least... it seemed Rep really was just crazy but hoping to improve himself.
Maybe he would. All Jerry knew was there would be no other chances.
The pot-shots earlier definitely had helped at least.
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