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 Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 12:57 pm
Esiris Rose Calvert The thing is that I dont know that they are a**-holes. and when I find out, its too late How is it too late? Quote: And the guy who broke up with me isn't a Douche, its the way he did it. It was his 18th Birthday,and he went to a gay bar, and he even asked me if he could go. I said yes, and he went, then he didnt respond for 3 weeks, and when he did, he said he had a boyfriend, and that I lead him on, which was the complete opposite than what actually happened, and he broke up with me, he is a douche because, one, he lied, and even worse, lied to my face. HE broke up with me over a text msg. crying It sounds like you're not able to see things from other people's perspective- like if he feels you lead him on, why is it so hard for you to see how that might have been possible for him to feel that way? no, because he said, i am falling for you, and i would like you to be my boyfriend.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 1:00 pm
Shanna66 maybe stop dating for a while, it seems your depressing yourself over it and that shouldnt happen. dating should be a fun way for you to get to know people who you may fall in love with or have a good time with. you dont need to be dating someone to be happy. I hvnt been in a relationship for over 2 years. I'm afraid that they will hurt me.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 1:02 pm
Artemesia Greylace There's watch how they treat other people, there's be confident, there's listen to your friends and family- I agree with them all... I'd also recommend not falling into the trap of thinking you need a boyfriend- it makes you a sucker. You don't need a person in your life if they're hurting you. The same way you wouldn't need friends who hurt you. The gay guy... well, that was a fluke, most likely, and it's no use getting heartbroken. He probably doesn't feel too good about it and was shy about telling you to your face. You did the right thing letting him go and he did the wrong thing not keeping you posted, but it was probably as nervewracking for him as it was for you. But it doesn't really seem to me like you have a huge problem that needs fixing- you've just had a little bad luck with men. You'll find the right guy eventually, and you actually seem okay at getting rid of the bad jobs when they start being jerky, so my only advice is- don't get pregnant unless you're REALLY sure. Umm.... Pregnant? Im not a girl.... redface
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 1:09 pm
Rose Calvert Artemesia Greylace There's watch how they treat other people, there's be confident, there's listen to your friends and family- I agree with them all... I'd also recommend not falling into the trap of thinking you need a boyfriend- it makes you a sucker. You don't need a person in your life if they're hurting you. The same way you wouldn't need friends who hurt you. The gay guy... well, that was a fluke, most likely, and it's no use getting heartbroken. He probably doesn't feel too good about it and was shy about telling you to your face. You did the right thing letting him go and he did the wrong thing not keeping you posted, but it was probably as nervewracking for him as it was for you. But it doesn't really seem to me like you have a huge problem that needs fixing- you've just had a little bad luck with men. You'll find the right guy eventually, and you actually seem okay at getting rid of the bad jobs when they start being jerky, so my only advice is- don't get pregnant unless you're REALLY sure. Umm.... Pregnant? Im not a girl.... redface EEP! You... you... SORRY! I totally misread your story... Uhmm... some of what I said still applies. Mostly the bit about it just being bad luck... the final advice should be scrapped...
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 1:18 pm
Artemesia Greylace Rose Calvert Artemesia Greylace There's watch how they treat other people, there's be confident, there's listen to your friends and family- I agree with them all... I'd also recommend not falling into the trap of thinking you need a boyfriend- it makes you a sucker. You don't need a person in your life if they're hurting you. The same way you wouldn't need friends who hurt you. The gay guy... well, that was a fluke, most likely, and it's no use getting heartbroken. He probably doesn't feel too good about it and was shy about telling you to your face. You did the right thing letting him go and he did the wrong thing not keeping you posted, but it was probably as nervewracking for him as it was for you. But it doesn't really seem to me like you have a huge problem that needs fixing- you've just had a little bad luck with men. You'll find the right guy eventually, and you actually seem okay at getting rid of the bad jobs when they start being jerky, so my only advice is- don't get pregnant unless you're REALLY sure. Umm.... Pregnant? Im not a girl.... redface EEP! You... you... SORRY! I totally misread your story... Uhmm... some of what I said still applies. Mostly the bit about it just being bad luck... the final advice should be scrapped... umm.... awkward! well, its ok I do make a very preety avatar.... *blush* Ppl are allways thinking I'm a girl. its ok. im fine with it.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 1:36 pm
Rose Calvert no, because he said, i am falling for you, and i would like you to be my boyfriend. This is only half of the story- which I get, but there's always two sides. And it's not impossible for him to have feelings you're not accounting for. And what if those feelings change? How many people end up with the person they dated when they were 18? Even in my worst breakups- I could at least understand where the person was coming from when they told me why they broke up- I think something is a little off when there is so little empathy that even the guy who tried to spare your feelings is counted as a douch.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 1:46 pm
*pats head* you so cute!
Hey, people mistake my sister for a boy from the back and she isn't even trying- she just has a buzz cut.
I'm too short to be a guy in real life and I keep my hair longer...
And I do have a guy avatar, not that I always dress him like one...
I really should be better at telling genders... It's not just the avvi, it's also the name with you.
Whatever. It is a pretty avvi.
And the male version of pregnant is - don't tie yourself down. Like, don't do stuff that'll make separation a pain, like sharing bank accounts. ((you lucky b*****d. I wish I were a guy. Not because of partners, or even the way I can act- I don't listen to what people tell me to do anyhow- but because your bodies are built functional- no useless pillows in awkward places and no bleeding and pain every month, along with building muscle faster...wouldn't go through a gender change 'cause it's not effective- I'd stay short, and it would be massive surgery, and I'd still have to have kids the hard way if at all, it's not a magic wand... I'm getting off topic. You are a lucky b*****d because pregnancy is off the table and so are menstrual cramps... stupid dad giving me an X chromosome...))
Rereading, though-
You've had a bit of bad luck. Guys who just go after sex are, unfortunately, ridiculously common- and not always horrible people, just not good life partners, at least until they grow up. I've found, though, that better guys are found by meeting people at school/university/college/work/social scenes, moreso than bars and clubs. Going out to pick people up has led to completely wishy-washy relationships in every case I've seen. And you might have to run through a few more to find someone who isn't a douche, and then another few before you get one you like, but hey, are you really going to care about those idiots you left behind?
Your friends sound like they have good judgement. lean on them for an opinion, but don't make it final- a few mistakes won't kill you.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 1:46 pm
Esiris Rose Calvert no, because he said, i am falling for you, and i would like you to be my boyfriend. This is only half of the story- which I get, but there's always two sides. And it's not impossible for him to have feelings you're not accounting for. And what if those feelings change? How many people end up with the person they dated when they were 18? Even in my worst breakups- I could at least understand where the person was coming from when they told me why they broke up- I think something is a little off when there is so little empathy that even the guy who tried to spare your feelings is counted as a douch. Ok, maybe you are right, but still, I felt that he was not all that honest with me.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:00 pm
Rose Calvert Ok, maybe you are right, but still, I felt that he was not all that honest with me. And you're as entitled to those feelings as he is to his. So what I'm hearing is that in 1 case- a guy was looking for a hookup and you were looking for a long term relationship and in another there was probably mutual misunderstandings. Both of them hurt and that's ok- because when you put yourself out there emotionally for others, you risk that happening. It sucks- and it sounds like one was a bad choice from the beginning and one just didn't work out. I'm not sure that's enough to call it a habit though. Maybe what you need is to take a step back and stop obsessing about love and romance. Develop yourself more, who you are and what you're about and when you do that, you'll have a better idea about what you have to offer a good partner.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:24 pm
Esiris Rose Calvert Ok, maybe you are right, but still, I felt that he was not all that honest with me. And you're as entitled to those feelings as he is to his. So what I'm hearing is that in 1 case- a guy was looking for a hookup and you were looking for a long term relationship and in another there was probably mutual misunderstandings. Both of them hurt and that's ok- because when you put yourself out there emotionally for others, you risk that happening. It sucks- and it sounds like one was a bad choice from the beginning and one just didn't work out. I'm not sure that's enough to call it a habit though. Maybe what you need is to take a step back and stop obsessing about love and romance. Develop yourself more, who you are and what you're about and when you do that, you'll have a better idea about what you have to offer a good partner. ok, i will concur, but the thing that is bugging me is that I am not obsessing over love/romance. that was not in your place to say.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:28 pm
Rose Calvert ok, i will concur, but the thing that is bugging me is that I am not obsessing over love/romance. that was not in your place to say. You posted in an open forum- if you don't want people to speak their mind, you should say so in the first post, or maybe post in your journal under "friends only". When you make things out to be a long string of repeated behavior instead of one bad choice and one miscommunication, you give an impression. Since you asked for people's help- you got it. Like it or not.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:33 pm
Esiris Rose Calvert ok, i will concur, but the thing that is bugging me is that I am not obsessing over love/romance. that was not in your place to say. You posted in an open forum- if you don't want people to speak their mind, you should say so in the first post, or maybe post in your journal under "friends only". When you make things out to be a long string of repeated behavior instead of one bad choice and one miscommunication, you give an impression. Since you asked for people's help- you got it. Like it or not. Ok, I see where you are coming from, and I what i said might have been out of line, you seem like a very, nice and respectful person, and I'm sorry if I have made a bad impression on you, or anyone.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 6:36 pm
Rose Calvert Esiris Rose Calvert ok, i will concur, but the thing that is bugging me is that I am not obsessing over love/romance. that was not in your place to say. You posted in an open forum- if you don't want people to speak their mind, you should say so in the first post, or maybe post in your journal under "friends only". When you make things out to be a long string of repeated behavior instead of one bad choice and one miscommunication, you give an impression. Since you asked for people's help- you got it. Like it or not. Ok, I see where you are coming from, and I what i said might have been out of line, you seem like a very, nice and respectful person, and I'm sorry if I have made a bad impression on you, or anyone. We're cool. I hope things get better for you.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 6:41 pm
Esiris Rose Calvert Esiris Rose Calvert ok, i will concur, but the thing that is bugging me is that I am not obsessing over love/romance. that was not in your place to say. You posted in an open forum- if you don't want people to speak their mind, you should say so in the first post, or maybe post in your journal under "friends only". When you make things out to be a long string of repeated behavior instead of one bad choice and one miscommunication, you give an impression. Since you asked for people's help- you got it. Like it or not. Ok, I see where you are coming from, and I what i said might have been out of line, you seem like a very, nice and respectful person, and I'm sorry if I have made a bad impression on you, or anyone. We're cool. I hope things get better for you. Thank you. I'm srry if I came off as a b***h.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 6:43 pm
Rose Calvert Thank you. I'm srry if I came off as a b***h. I didn't think of you like that- no problems.
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