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 Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 1:25 am
i want to elaborate but i feel like it's going to start a huge argument.
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 1:49 am
Vitamin Crack I'm more self-conscious of any long-term serious relationships they've had in the past, than with the number of people they've slept with. Also the whole slut or not dynamic seems petty to me. It seems indicative of a very conservative and traditional attitude to sex which I don't share particularly. What's wrong with someone who just enjoys sex to a healthy degree? It's one thing if they're exploitative and lead people on and break people's heart all the time, which is indicative of a character flaw more than anything else. It's quite another if they just enjoy sex and seek it out in a healthy way. i like this post : ) that's all i really want to say. heart
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 7:09 am
I think the number would matter at what point in life a person is.
Like, for instance, let's say you're a 40-year-old who's decided not to settle down. You've slept with 40 people, starting from when you lost your virginity at 20. That's 2 people per year. And, if the number of people we have on Facebook is any indicator, we can definitely find 40 people who aren't strangers or even acquaintances. Obviously it's probably not going to be that uniform, but my point is the idea of someone sleeping with that many people (and that they know everyone they're sleeping with) by that point isn't ludicrous.
However, I'd be uncomfortable meeting someone my age who's slept with 20+ people or something, considering most of the people I know lost their virginities somewhere between 16 and 20.
It's not that I'll think, "O UR A SLUT," because why shouldn't someone enjoy sex? It's more that it'd make me insecure because it would make me think that this person doesn't value sex as something to do with someone you at least care about. I'm not saying you have to be in love or anything, but goddamn, at least know the person you're banging and have conversations with them from time to time or something. On top of that, I would probably feel like I'm being compared to previous partners or something.
Sorry if this doesn't make as much as sense as it did in my head (which, btw, made perfect sense >:C).
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 8:58 am
breedney i want to elaborate but i feel like it's going to start a huge argument. an argument in lsg? how dare you!!! @Hiei: No I feel you 100%. I think it's perfectly acceptable that obviously the older you are, the higher your number will be. To me those there's a difference between 'having and enjoying sex with a degree of people' like VC mentions and just sort of ... being promiscuous. An old friend of mine owned a campground and I was introduced to her friend. In the 1 night that I was there, she slept with 3 guys, de-virginized one. To me, something like that is just like, really? I mean hell I love sex too, but if I slept with someone everytime I was feeling horny well l: I don't know I guess it boils down to how you view sex. I mean I have a friends with benefits right now and we fool around / have sex like every other weekend, but we're still good friends and we cuddle afterwards and stay up on Sunday mornings talking for hours. Someone who just goes around ******** people just for the sheer fun of it, I dunno. I guess that's not for me. I like sex to have a little bit more feeling and passion in it then just sex with a stranger. And a lot of the people I know who sleep around a lot, have sex with a lot of people. to me they don't really seem to be 'in it for the healthy sake of having some sex!'. They are some messed up girls with issues. And I'm not saying everyone who has a lot of sex has some underlining problems but a majority of them time, from what -I've- seen, sex is just this outlet they use to feel wanted or loved or beautiful or whatever it may be. One of my friends, whos a virgin but has fooled around with like, probably over 40 guys, is like this. She is so unhappy and self concious with herself, anytime she used to get drunk she would be off with other guys doing stuff to them cause it gave her a feeling of ... something for awhile. So, to me, girls like that, that's not a healthy thing. But it's not my life I guess so. I GUESS THAT'S MY TAKE ON IT.
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 9:45 am
Hiei - Agreed, especially with the whole comparison thing.
Plus, I was also worried. Uh...I don't know about you all, but my vag has SEVERELY stretched out since I lost my virginity. I've had a couple of guys who didn't say anything to me, but I just COULDN'T tighten up enough for them. And they weren't small guys either. They were average size.
Last thing I need is more dicks stretching it out.
It's taken several years of sleeping exclusively with Brandon to get my body adjusted to his size and shape. When we first started sleeping together, we had TONS of problems of me being too loose for him.
That is really the entire basis of my issues with my body and my number.
It's not about the number. It's about the physical toll the number has taken on my body. And it's not even that damn high. It's at 15 right now.
I wish I could relate just how mortifying it is to sleep with someone and they can't get off because you're too damn loose. And it's not like you don't know you're too loose. You clench as tight as you can and it's still not tight enough.
Guys don't have anything that loosens or gets all bent out of shape from over use down there. I do.
I've actually thought about corrective surgery in the past, and this was a major reason I stopped having sex for so long. I felt like that by the time I met someone I'd care to stay with, I'd have nothing left to offer him.
Quite frankly, and I will be honest, I suck at sex. I'm a terrible lay, and confidence issues don't help.
I hate hate hate hate hate being on top. I have no clue what the ******** to do on top, plus being fat, I feel overly exposed and saggy and just disgusting on top, where on teh bottom, i feel like I'm hidden and I'm not sagging.
But then, oh no! I don't want to be a sub. Can't stand being submissive. It brings out every angry, fighting instinct in me. Makes me see red. Literally makes my face, cheeks and ears just burn red. How DARE you tell me what to do? How DARE you try to tie me up. I'll rip your ******** throat out.
SO WHEN I TRY TO TAKE CHARGE I JUST ******** SIT THERE AND WONDER WTF I AM SUPPOSED TO DO.
TL;DR I HAVE A LOT OF ISSUES.
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 9:56 am
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:04 am
I will take a look at that when I get home. I probably can't click on it here at work. I shouldn't even be typing this s**t at work when they can monitor us. Now a bunch of IT guys whill know I have a hotdog/hallway cooch.
I've never heard of them no, but thank you for linking. <3 I WILL check them out tonight.
I also never remember to do kiegals. I always promise myself I will do them religiously, do them once and forget for a month.
I have an hour timer set on my Outlook at work. Maybe I can do them for the first five minutes of every hour?
I'll try that. *immediatly forgets*
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:05 am
@Raven: I definitely know what you mean. I know this one chick who hasn't really slept with too many guys, but has fooled around with a ton of guys and cheated on just about every one of her partners. She's got some major issues, and I guess that's how she deals with them.
@Xippy: I only like being on top because it's the only way that gets me off. If it wasn't for that, I'd completely hate it, too, because I feel gross and heavy.
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:15 am
I've actually hurt Brandon before on top. I moved wrong and bent his wang. That's how much I have no clue what to do on top.
Intercourse does absolutely nothing for me when it comes to getting an o. Oral is pretty much the only thing that works. The way my body is shaped, and my lack of senitivity down there just make anything else impossible.
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:34 pm
I agree with Michelle the most here, I think. I'm really concerned with how they're treated their sexual partners in the past than the number. Because if they've been shitty to them, I feel like they're likely to be shitty with me.
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:27 pm
Vitamin Crack I'm more self-conscious of any long-term serious relationships they've had in the past, than with the number of people they've slept with. Also the whole slut or not dynamic seems petty to me. It seems indicative of a very conservative and traditional attitude to sex which I don't share particularly. What's wrong with someone who just enjoys sex to a healthy degree? It's one thing if they're exploitative and lead people on and break people's heart all the time, which is indicative of a character flaw more than anything else. It's quite another if they just enjoy sex and seek it out in a healthy way. You make me feel so unorganized when you post sometimes. mad I agree with everything you said.
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:23 pm
Someone's number is irrelevant to me if they've been recently tested, and are clean. Also if they don't compare me to past people when we're doing things. 'Girl #15 was better at oral than you.' neutral
My guy just hit 18 and it doesn't bother me at all.
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 2:10 am
Xiporah I've actually hurt Brandon before on top. I moved wrong and bent his wang. That's how much I have no clue what to do on top.
Intercourse does absolutely nothing for me when it comes to getting an o. Oral is pretty much the only thing that works. The way my body is shaped, and my lack of senitivity down there just make anything else impossible. i've actually done that a number of times haha whoops. my ex would always splooge before i could : ( and by then i'd be humping a limp d**k and i'd have to stop because it was weird woo tmi
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:39 am
I have bent the man's weener being on top too xD
With the guy I'm with now I actually get too rough for him sometimes like
I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I'M HURTING HIM XDD
probably cause he weighs less then me l:
but ******** when you go one way and it bends the other IT HURTS SO MUCH and I imagine it hurts for them too hahah
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Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2011 3:15 pm
marzipancakes No. And I think slut-shaming is stupid. Like I might not agree with someone sleeping with a ton of people, but it doesn't make them worth any less. Unless they're really shitty about it. If they don't have an std then whateva. I might be surprised by the number but a number doesn't effect our relationship. This. Personally, I've only ever slept with one person, but it wasn't because I was "saving" myself or anything. I just did it when I was ready, and that happened to be with the guy I ended up marrying. He, however, slept with a few girls before me. I don't know the exact number, and I don't care.
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