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 Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 11:23 pm
Her face was kind, but also a sort of sombre. There was hurt and pain within this one, but all his distraught mind committed from this quick glance was that she might indeed understand. Tearing his eyes away from the red-haired mare he quickly looked about the area and decided to refer to her earlier comment once more, ignoring her other questions for now. "We should keep moving. I can't stay here."
Words still shaky, even his legs trembled but he stamped them once before managing to actually make himself physically move forward and begin on a tread.... forward. Anywhere really. Now that his legs were moving it wasn't difficult to keep putting one in front of the other if he didn't pay attention to them. Auto-pilot initiated he began to mull over the questions the mare had posed him.
Turning his head once more towards the mare as he walked, his ribbons sagged sadly, the one that usually covered his eyes now draped across his nose and threatened to fall down and unloop to join the other section of it around his chest. Eyes glancing over the pale mare, Dir eventually came up with a shaky, broken answer.
"It's all gone. Doesn't make sense anymore. I couldn't stay. Had to get away. It just... it's all wrong." As he spoke he tried to catch her eye, brows slightly crunched in that sad expression of loss. "How does anything help?"
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 11:49 pm
Aella walked slowly with him, he walked like one in the depths of despair. She knew that walk, she felt it. For a time, she had survived by that walk alone. Dead and tired feet had taken broken soul from place to place without much consent or reasoning from her mind. She just...existed, and was driven by some compulsory need to survive that she didn't even understand.
"What's gone, dear one?" She cooed soothingly as she looked down to him. "Things leave, things fade...but we go on until our end. It is the way of life though it is not fair." She paused, "For awhile nothing will help. You will feel neither heat nor cold until one day, suddenly...you do."
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 12:32 am
What's gone?
He jerked his head away, tearing his gaze away from the mare as if breaking unwanted physical contact. He couldn't look at her. How could one express this kind of emotion? There were no right words for it. And he doubted there ever would be. But he waited for anything else she wanted to say, and what she said really hit home. Except for that last part. Shaking his head he could not see the day that he could feel again. Not feel, for real. Sure, he felt the rocks underfoot amid the fallen leaves and long grasses, and even that breeze that swept the mare's pretty mane away from her face, but this wasn't real. Not anymore.
"The sky isn't blue, and the grass isn't green.
The birds don't sing, even echoes don't ring.
I can see me and you, but it's him that isn't seen.
He was gone in a flash, and the world came crash... ing.
Burning, tumbling out of control."
His poem crumbled as he began feeling anger, a burning inside of him and his tone deepened and grew almost hateful as he continued.
"How could he go? How could he just leave like that? He wasn't supposed to die! We need him! We needed them both..."
And the tears began to roll once more. Flowing like rivers they were unstoppable, streaming down his cheeks and dripping down onto his chest, over his grieving heart. Collapsing, the stallion's knees thudded to the ground and his head drooped once more, hair falling into his face. But he no longer cared for what he looked like or what could be lurking just out of their sight.
Here he was, naked for the world to see.
Here he lay sobbing, murmuring that mournful question,
"Why did they have to die?"
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 11:22 pm
Aella could feel the hot sting of tears in her eyes. She felt the whole world crashing down around her head, the memories of her own coming to her like a flood that she couldn't stop. What was it about death that equalized them all? What was it about it that made them all just... other?
Why was it only in despair could one understand others?
Her voice was faint, barely audible. "My mate...I left my people, told I could never come home if I chose him. We had very little time together. We were happy, but then it all just ended. He grew sick until he faded away from me. I could not return to my people even though the only other thing I loved was gone from this world." She paused, "It was then I found out about my sister...about my family. I went to them, but all that was left was ashes..."
She nosed next to him, "Even this will pass..."
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 12:41 am
His world seemed to no longer exist. As if it had dissipated from all around him, just poofed from reality. Perhaps running, or for that matter allowing the world to run, like this made no sense but who thinks at moments like this? Not clearly, anyway.
His sobs ebbed away to the occasional sniffle as he stilled his crying so that he could hear what was obviously so hard to tell. His head lifted and though his eyes continued to flow with burning tears even his sniffling fell silent to hear of the horror that this mare had endured, eyes widening. Stories like hers only belonged in tales to scare and control... not in reality. Not in the newly-dawning greyness that was becoming reality all around him.
A few tense moments of looking into those tear-filled eyes ended with a silent but decisive nod from Dir. He couldn't bring himself to agree with her right then, but if she said it would pass, then he believed her. Gathering himself up as best he could, the stallion propped himself up on one hoof and then another until he was upright once more. If she could get through horrors like that, then it wouldn't do for him to get them both snared by lurking predators.
Without saying a word, he began their path anew. Comforted by even her silent presence, Dir believed for the moment he could keep going if he could walk side-by-side with Aella. But even if he could bring himself to make an audible noise that wasn't the occasional left-over sniffle, he couldn't find the words to say to express his thanks for her company, for her compassion and her understanding.
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:13 am
She walked with him beside her. It had been a good while since she had spoken of her family, of their loss. It was painful to lose them, painful to talk about them...but more painful, must more painful to forget the existed. She wanted to remember what they looked like, every detail.
She spoke softly, "I know you don't want to heart it. I know that all you want to do is forget. But you don't. You'll want to remember what they looked like...what they smelled like, what they felt like...and how they made you feel. Because that's the only thing worse than the hurting to begin with. Forgetting takes away everything they meant to you, even if at first that feels crushing...You have to keep thinking of them. One day...the memories will fade from painful to fond. You'll be able to remember them, your senses dulled from pain. You'll remember and love them. It'll be okay."
Maybe somehow it would reach him. Maybe he would understand what she had taken so long to learn. Peace comes with time.
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 2:48 am
One foot in front of the other. Then the next, and the next and the next... On it went, but if he could focus on this simple task it kept his mind from exploding with all of the emotions screaming out at him inside of his head.
As he walked and focused, and focused and walked, Dir listened to the wise words of the broken-hearted. These were words that he could only have hoped to eventually come up with in the future. And though they barely registered right then, they were being recorded for later. They were being imprinted on his broken mind, in his shattered memories for later reference. One day they would bring him strength and structure so that he may begin to re-build his world anew, even if it seemed utterly futile just then.
He nodded, though anyone could see it was a false nod, to acknowledge having heard. He might come to believe it in the future, hell, he might even believe it deep down in his heart but in his mind it still seemed like an impossible feat.
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Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 2:30 am
Aella looked at his vacant eyes and robotic movements. He wasn't...here. Well not exactly. He had heard her, but he didn't understand the words as truth yet. He would in time though, and then he would cling to them like one drowning until they made sense. That's what she had done when some wise soul tossed her a lifeline. She clung to it, fought with all her life to hold on and make sense of it until one day she hadn't had to fight so hard.
That day was the one he would be waiting for.
But for now, he was moving if not thinking. He would eat and drink to sustain life. Eventually it would have taste again instead of ash.
Ash...Ashes. Loss. Pain...Fire. Death. All inevitable. All consuming.
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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