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 Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 11:40 am
Tony blushed deeply, and nodded his head. He accepted her thinking him a hero, but he didn't think he had earned it just yet. He hadn't done anything to bring Harmony home, after all. He had done everything he could to try to, but in the end the civilians had been restored to their proper homes directly.
He had found Harmony on accident, and had managed to reunite the two as if by some twist of fate, but that he didn't really count as being heroic, either. But he would earn the title, if she was so intent on giving it to him.
Or remain vigilant, but hope that he never had to earn it. He would much rather just have them stay safe.
"I didn't for a long time. Believe me, I know what you're going through. I hated it, but I never thought I would end up like this... there weren't even such a thing as knights before suddenly we were waking up. There still aren't many of us. Anyway, ah. You can still manage, and live almost normally, even knowing everything you do. I promise, nothing has changed, you just understand it better. There are many of us that do have the power to help, after all, and you don't have to worry about us doing our duty."
He was still talking softly, just in case. It felt nice, telling someone who he was, and not out of some weird circumstances. With other powered folks like senshi and knights he either accidentally revealed his identity or showed them out of necessity or because he had learned who they were and wanted to even things out. This was different, and it was freeing, in a way.
Though now he would worry about her that much more.
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Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 10:43 pm
She didn’t want Tony worrying about her but she supposed it was a two way street. Now that she knew his secret it would be impossible for her to look at him the same way and for her not worry about what he was doing. She envied his freedom to be able to act against these things but she was also petrified that one day they’d get the better of him. She’d seen it and though she didn’t know how strong the knight was she didn’t want to risk losing him. Crush or not he was very dear to her.
“Don’t die on me, Tony.”
Very morbid thought but a sentiment important enough to express nonetheless. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. And she didn't feel the need to explain to him what a hole in her life that would cause. She trusted him, implicitly. Who else could she trust so much? It didn't seem possible and yet she knew there were people around here that she considered friends.
She couldn’t imagine having much of a normal life after all of this, either. If he was knight then who else she met was something more than they appeared? She couldn't even begin to try and address that thought. Her head was already spinning enough to take on new quandaries.
But everything else she could be. A friend, a shoulder, someone outside to share the burden with. She wondered how many people outside of this war knew who Camelot truly was. Or even how many inside. She wanted desperately to feel somewhat special in this. It couldn't be many as he'd seemed even reluctant to show her and they were friends. She lay on the couch and steadied her breathing, not speaking much in the interim.
Ok, so maybe he trusted her after all.
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 12:56 am
"I have no intention of dying," he said softly, though it made him shudder. It was always difficult, thinking about his own mortality in the mix of it all. He fought as hard as he could, threw himself into reckless situations, but rarely took the time to really think, and let it set in, that he might die each time he did it. He knew it in the back of his head, certainly.
Thinking about it now, though, he found his blood running cold.
It was easy to say, in the heat of battle or with his impassioned blood boiling in the name of protecting someone, that he would die for them. For his cause. But what good was a cause if not to live and fight for it? He remembered many times, before he had become Camelot, when he considered the same thing and came to the same conclusion. He had to keep himself alive, to help others.
He wasn't sure if that made him a coward, having such doubt about his ability to carry his convictions through to what had to be an inevitable end. It was war, after all. His one goal was to end the war with as few lines lost as possible, which was impossible. If he had to give his life to accomplish that, he knew he would. And as he thought about it, he understood that he was willingly putting his life in danger each time he ran to the aid of someone. From chasing off energy snatchers to facing dragons: he didn't have it in him to run.
In the end, it didn't matter what his mind told him, what he justified with himself or how he thought his way through the complex web of emotions and doubts, fears and ideals. His instincts would always guide him.
He watched her, then moved to find her a blanket just to make her comfortable.
"I think that's enough of all that. Why don't I let you rest, huh? You've been through a lot recently."
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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 12:52 pm
"I'm not spending the night in the library. I'd feel foolish. You have a child to get home to and so do I. I'm perfectly capable of making my way home."
Perfectly capable was here suspect as she couldn't sit up very well without feeling dizzy. What she meant to say was that with concerted effort and perhaps a taxi she'd manage to make it home to crawl into her own bed. She certainly wasn't going to spend the night alone in the library if that was what he was implying and if he wasn't she wasn't going to let him sleep on the floor or something when he had a bed at home that would serve him better.
Besides, she was still reeling from everything that had happened tonight which was likely why he wanted her to stay. Both of their confessions hung heavy in the air and she wasn't sure where to go from here. He promised things would be the same but experience told her otherwise. Once the words were heard, out loud, It changed perception. And now that she's seen him as Camelot, her hero, she wouldn't simply forget. They were both burdened now in their own ways.
She tried to sit up, struggling against a reeling head and thoughts better left at bay. They were mixed, and varied, and each one was inappropriate in its own right. It wouldn't do any good to imagine him dying in this war. Nor would it help to imagine him picking her up in the darkness of his office to kiss her soundly by the light of the moon. And it certainly wouldn't do any good to imagine being out there with him, by his side, trying to help him protect the innocent people of the city. That had not been chosen for her. Like a classic hero's normal sidekick she had to bear the burden alone to be there when he needed her without being able to take up the cause for herself.
It was all very confusing and off putting for a woman who didn't know to value normal until it was taken from her.
"Tony, I..." she wanted to apologize for her feelings, as absurd as the idea of that was. She wanted to tell him she didn't expect anything from him. She wanted to tell him how important he was to her regardless of these confusing things and how she couldn't have a better friend. She wanted to thank him for being so understanding of Harmony and helping to support her in her time of need. That meant more to her than he'd ever know...or maybe he did. He was a parent, too, after all. "I should go." was all she managed and it was for numerous reasons that she wanted to escape and not one of them was because she wasn't comfortable with his secret identity, even if that was how it might look.
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 1:15 pm
Tony looked at her as she spoke, knowing she was feeling a mess of emotions.
He didn't believe her, though, that she was fine. He didn't think she was capable of getting herself home, and he was more than willing to let her stay on the couch and keep her company. He had work to do, but more than that he just wanted to keep her safe.
That was always the most important thing.
When she tried to get up he moved to her side to either push her back down or support her. He wasn't sure which, taking stock of her ability to sit up first. He nodded his head when she said she needed to go, seeing on her face that she really meant it. She was wobbling, but she was upset and needed some space.
He helped her stand. He would offer her a ride home, but he hadn't brought his car. He stood as best he could, able to walk fairly well without his cane.
"I'll see you home, if you don't mind. I wouldn't like it if I managed to get you hurt after all this." He smiled at her, silently telling her that she didn't need to say anything else about it, and he certainly didn't need an apology.
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Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 2:31 pm
"I guess I don't mind, no." she responded softly knowing she needed the help and she certainly didn't want him to feel guilty if she managed to run into trouble on the way home. She trusted Camelot and was coming to trust Tony, too, knowing he'd only lied to her for a purpose and that was to keep her safe. He was right. Having the knowledge weighed heavier than being ignorant but there was simply no way she could remain ignorant any longer and didn't know how everyone else couldn't see it, too.
She tried standing, shaking on her feet as she did before looking at him. She caught herself from falling by grabbing his arms to steady herself. Once she was on her feet she seemed much more sure about being on them and confidently took her first few steps. The shock of it would wear off soon and she'd be alright once again. With any luck he could dismiss her confession as easily and the past would not have to repeat itself.
Once they'd started off toward her house she felt better. She'd have to walk back early to come get her car but the fresh air and exercise were sure to do her some good. She didn't say much to him as they walked figuring words would only create more chaos instead of alleviating it. If he spoke to her, she'd respond but she wasn't going to initiate any conversation.
When they got to her stoop she found herself remembering her reunion with Harmony with him standing quietly nearby and felt a swell of affection toward him. She hugged Tony, laying her head on his shoulder as she hugged him before eventually pulling away. That was all the goodnight she felt was needed and disappeared into her house watching him through the window, hidden by the curtain, until he was out of sight.
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