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I have been reading this blog for a little bit and I have to agree with what is being said. Suicidal attempts are a serious concern. I have made seven in my life. That was a long time ago. (15 years ago to be precise) I know that your mom going through your diary is an invasion of privacy, but it is because she loves you that she did. Going to a Psch is your best option. I went to one for a few years and it really helped me out. The key to remember with this is that you only get what you put in to the visits. Open your heart and mind to the fact that you just might have a problem. The first step is recognizing that you have one. It is the hardest step of all. One believes that there is nothing wrong with you, but others see it. That is what friends are for, to see that you need help and to help you. You mother is your friend, an annoying pestering, busy body friend. But a friend nonetheless. I have lost three of my BEST friends to suicide, and they all said they are fine, I aint got a problem. Three days later one has a bullet in his head. The other is hanging from a tree, and the third has choked on his own vomit from the pills. Please get help, please listen to us when we say that you do have a problem. One that is not just going to go away once I wake up in the morning. Depression is something I fight everyday. I still fight it. I wake up every morning and say, "What one thing is gonna make me happy today?" Then i hold on to that idea and make it through the day. If you want someone to talk to, or you just need someone to listen. Please dont be afraid to call out to me. Just PM me.