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 Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 7:03 am
Alice beamed brightly down at Racardo, a soft sound of excitment escaping her lips as she wiggled her wings in joy causing the little trinkets to jingle and jangle around her. "Thank you." She knew it had taken a lot out of the stallion to simply accept her offer... a step in the right direction as far as Alice was concerned.
Lowering herself to ground she looked up and said softly, "Join me Racardo." Then she waited expectantly.... would he refuse her offer now and bolt? If he did she would not follow, after all you could not force aid on someone who was not willing to hear it.... it would only make the situation worst.
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 11:33 am
Racardo gulped, taking a moment to decide what he should do. The endless care he could see in Alice's eyes astonded him.... and it was for that reason that he found himself kneeling down to join her.
He knew deep in his heart that he was a jerk at times, keeping women at arms length with his witty comebacks and remarks, wanting to use and abuse them in fear of actually having to commit. Yes, he was a pig.... yet it seemed Alice believed there was hope, and for that reason he decided to at least listen.
Not sure what to say, or what she could actually do to help Racardo simply sat in silent. Watching and waiting.
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Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:44 am
Alice couldn't hold in her excitment that he had ACTUALLY sat down! For a moment she had been sure he would run from her. The smile on her face only grew and then refused to disappear, she felt like a young filly all over again.
Laughing at her silly thought she leaned over and gave Racardo a kiss. "You are a nice stallion, you will make a lovely mate one day Racardo." Alice actually believed every word she said, and when she looked into the future she could see the shadows of someone starting to appear beside him which made this all worth while! She just loved to see happy endings.
She looked around, "Mares are like the weather, fragile and yet fierce. You have to anticipate their needs, Jasper told me once that when he looks at me he sees his own happiness within my face." Meaning; when she was happy so was he. She had to admit, Jasper sure was a gentleman, and it had been worth waiting for him that on faithful day.
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Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:48 am
Racardo listened to alice, but after a moment he lowered his head to his hooves. The problem was he wasn't sure WHAT he actually wanted. Sure, he wanted to be like his parents, find a love that would last an eternity.... have someone to support and be supported by. He knew the theory. He just.... well, he didn't really know what to do with that knowlegde.
Not wanting to voice his concern he simply listened to Alice. And he had to admit that he agreed with her about them being fragile and fierce! If you just looked at his sister Astral you could see both at once, she was a tempest at times, yet her heart was worn on her hooves so it often got trampled on. Racardo felt a familar twinge, a need to protect those he loved.
In that moment he realised something.... he had never truely tried to love a mare outside of his family. He frowned at the thought.
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Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:56 am
Alice was surprised Racardo was so silent, in her vision he had been much more talkative... had she broke him? She hoped not.
Deciding not to make a big deal over it she simply continued; "In your heart is the potential for so much love and devotion. You just need to find the right mare. And when you do...." Her eyes narrowed slightly, a scorn towards the player he was, and she really did hope he would leave that behind him and search for his other half. "...you have to woe her."
Alice beamed again, she could almost see the stallion beside her being the most romantic on the planet, except for Jasper of course. "Flowers, surprises, meals, walks.... anything really. The world is yours to enjoy." Her smile only widened as she remembered how Jasper had woed her! Of course, she had always known they would be together.
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Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 2:03 am
Racardo knew what Alice was trying to say, but part of him didn't see any difference between what she was saying and what he did... after all, he usually swept the mares off their hooves so that they would spend the night... and day.... with him. He could be romantic... but keeping a mare? That was a different story.
Risking Alice's wrath he found himself saying; "I know how to sweep a mare of their hooves, I know how to make them feel like the only mare in the world.... I...." He had no idea what he was trying to say.
So instead he fell silent again.
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Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 3:46 am
Alice listened to the other stallion and nodded; "True... you know how to make them fall under your spell. But the spell you weave isn't designed to last." She knew he was trying to understand so she wasn't upset at his attempt to prove her wrong.
Patiently she listened to the world around them, allowing her words to sink in slowly before she continued. "You need to move slower, be yourself.... put your heart into each action... open yourself up." He smile never wavered as she spoke, "You always hold yourself back from the mares... you must stop that. Let what happens happen."
Yes, it was far harder done than said... but that was the key to love, if you never opened yourself up you never got to experience life in all its wonder.
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Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 3:50 am
Racardo listened to her words and frowned... she strangely agreed with her. "How did you.... know?" He found himself asking, to every mare he had ever swept off their hooves they had always believed, at first at least, that he had been fiercly in love with them... when in reality he had been fiercly in lust. He was rather ashamed of himself now for his deception.
How did he change that though? He was so used to acting the way he did.... how could he suddenly just switch it off? How could he let his heart become vunderable after all the years he had spent protecting it?
It seemed impossible.....
No more than a whisper her spoke again; "It is impossible."
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Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 3:56 am
She smiled at his question, "I know your type." Then her eyes show a touch of sadness, "What I do not know... is why you shelter your emotions so securely." In her visions of his future she had seen his parents, they seemed to dote after each other... so why was he this way? Why was he not looking for what his parents had?
She could not see the past so would never know unless he told her.
She let him thinking, Alice even heard his whispered words but made no comment on them since they seemed private to her. Instead she pretended as if she never heard them.
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Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 4:05 am
Racardo frowned at his thoughts and feelings and did his best to push it aside so he could tackle Alice's new question. Part of him had always known why he was the way he was, part of him simply couldn't bare to consider it for a moment longer. After all, the incident had nearly broken him completely!
It seemed so silly now.... but all the same, "I.... once..... I....." He frowned, tears threatening to spill over his eyes... and how unmanly was that. Trying to be discrete he wiped his eyes on his hoof and buried his nose slightly into their warmth as he tried to compose his jumbled mind. How could he say the one thing he tried desperatly to never think about?
Still... for some reason he felt that now was the right time, as if his sharing it would somehow heal him. And only a fool would turn down the opportunity he had been given... of all creatures... perhaps an Angeni could finally heal him?
With a deep breath for strength he looked up at Alice, "When I was a child.... I found a little squirral in the forest. It was weak and very young, my Mum had told me it had probably fallen out of the squirrals nest in the tree. I did my best to care for it, planned to make it my familar.... my one true companion.... it's colours even started to change to match my pelt." That was when his heart broke all over again, and before he could stop them tears started to fall like a waterfall down his face. "She.... didn't.... survive." Was all he managed to say. He remembered that day like it was yesterday. One minute she had been find and snuggled up in the bed of leaves he had made her, he had gone to find her some more food and when he returned all he could hear was faint coughing and spluttering. Panic consumed him and he had wanted desperatly to help, but he was clumpsy, and his hooves didn't allow him to do anything..... he had been so afraid of hurting her more that in the end all he could do was watch..... watch her die.
The tears flowed freely as he buried his head into his hooves.
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 1:49 am
Alice's heart cried out for him, no wonder he had commitment issues... fearing that getting too close would mean he would lose the one her loved.
Still, she had a job, she had to remember that, it was the only way to help him complete his destiny. "I am sorry Racardo." She said the words honestly, "But.... not everyone will die." Such harsh words, she felt uncomfortable saying them, even as she understood that she needed to. "...the squirral was sick to begin with, and do you not think that your companion would have wanted you unhappy? I am sure you helped her be happy for the last days of her life! I am sure you gave her hope. And although her body is gone I am sure she is still with you."
She frowned then, "You can't keep punishing yourself for something that wasn't your fault." It was then she realised she had been doing something similar. Carlisle... her father... she continued to blame herself for his death, he had sacrificed himself so that she and her family could live, she had had children and love, hope and fun... while he had nothing.
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 1:55 am
A tear rushed down Racardo's face as he listened. If only things were that simply, had he not tried to find happiness? Even if it was fleeting he had always strove to make himself happy.... but perhaps that was the key, he always made himself happy and then left, ignoring the empty echo in his heart. He missed his little friend. He missed not having a true companion, someone to talk to, to share things with without the fear that they would leave or forget you or tell someone your darkest secrets.
He couldn't trust. He knew that... but still... her words angered him. He rose to his all fours. "Don't... don't bring her into this!" He narrowed his eyes at the only mare who had tried to help in what felt like forever, and while he really did appreciate it he couldn't take it right now, it was all too soon... to fresh in his mind... or at least that was how it felt. How long had it been since his little friend had left him? A year? Three years? A lifetime ago? He didn't know.
"What do you know anyway? You are so perfect... an Angeni.... with powers and everything! What do you know about me and my life? NOTHING!" he roared out the word, just as sadness spread to his eyes and nestled in with a determination to linger.
He should never have come here. Should never had settled and listened.
This was a mistake.
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 2:00 am
Alice's eyes went wide with surprise at his reaction. "I'm sorry." She said the words again, she truely meant it. Alice had never been a creature prone to harming others for sport or amusement. No, she had always only every tried to help.
"Please... calm down." She pleaded. He eyes sad as she watched the pain ripple through his entire body. She wanted to help, to reach out to him, to hold him, to do something... anything! But what could she do that he would accept?
She predicted the answer was nothing, even as his words dared her to share the pain of her own heavy weighing memory. She couldn't... wouldn't. Racardo didn't know what he was asking or saying, he was being run by emotions and she couldn't blame him for that since she had been the one to bring them forth.
Alice had the distinct impression that he would turn and leave... and she also knew... she would not follow. She would give him the space he needed. And maybe, when his rage calmed her words would sink and something would change? She dared not try and see his future in fear of what she may find.
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 2:04 am
If Racardo had known her thoughts he may have stayed just so he could do the opposite of what she expected, but he couldn't. Instead he turned and left. His emotions raging, more tears threatened to spill over his eyes... and he couldn't bare for them to fall in front of company again.
His heart was heavy, his mind buzzing with images and memories. He hadn't thought much of his little friend since it had happened, since he had lost her.... it had been to hard to face. And now, as he walked away facing it he couldn't help but acknowlegde how isolated and alone he was. He had done this to himself. He knew that to be true. He hadn't wanted to lose another, to feel this raging pain of hopelessness again for anyone.... Racardo even dreaded the day that his own parents and siblings passed away.
He had never felt so defensless as he did in this moment. There was nothing he could do but walk.
And that is what he did. For what felt like days Racardo walked and walked. Hunger and thirst rubbed him the wrong way, and it was only when the desire became to strong that he finally stopped.
Would anything change? Only time would reveal those secrets.
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