|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 8:09 pm
"No," he admitted, very softly and with a frown already forming for words that hadn't been spoken yet, "I don't know how much it still hurts." He could see it in her eyes, guess from the tears that flowed down her pale face, but in the end, Kam simply wasn't the one that had been hurt by what happened. He'd been the one that caused all the pain between them.
Kam's pain had been something entirely different and even though he still felt guilty, he'd had three years to come to terms with everything. What had happened, what he'd done, and who he was. He wasn't a particularly philosophical soul, but he knew what his place was and what he was good for. The three years he had spent away had been good for him in ways that being in Destiny City never would have.
"You couldn't have done anything." His voice was surprisingly patient, if a little resigned to whatever fate this was. The grimace on his face was all he could manage in the face of her tears because he wasn't sure how he was supposed to handle them otherwise. Crying girls were not on the top of his list of 'fun things'. Instead, he just let her run to him and obliged by wrapped his arms around her shoulders and holding her to him. He had always been much better at physical comfort than the emotional kind.
"There was nothing to do. You can't be everything to someone that has nothing left, there was too much space to try and fill." He leaned his head against her hair, letting his eyes droop and stare at the floor. He could feel her sobs shaking her body still, and he just wrapped his arms tighter around her familiar frame.
"I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to tell you when it mattered."
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:36 pm
Getting over a first love was never an easy thing, especially in the complicated circumstances that had ended their relationship. Fiona didn't know if she would ever stop hurting from it or if it would just soften to an almost unnoticeable dull ache. As far as she was concerned she just wanted the pain to go away all together and being here had only reopened old wounds. It was her own fault, she was the one that had decided to chase him that after noon. It was her that demanded answers and had been her own fault that she was remembering everything that had happened three years ago.
Of course she had thought about it, a lot, over the past few years but being here, confronting everything that had been left so open-ended was much harder than she realized. Which is what had lead her to cry which in turn left her in the arms of her ex seeking some kind of comfort.
He didn't have much to offer, but she took what he had.
She listened quietly, trying to keep her sobs silent even if he could feel them in the way her body shook. She didn't want to respond at first because saying 'It's okay' seemed stupid, pointless because it wasn't. It didn't change anything but she felt the need to say something, she didn't like the silence that had settled. It made the sound of her crying too loud.
"It's not okay, I don't..." she paused struggling to form a coherent sentence without the hiccups that had resulted from her sobs. "T-think it'll e-ever be okay, but thank you," she whispered finding that she was glad he at least talked to her, tried to make her understand.
Even if she still didn't.
"At least you're telling me now," she mumbled. Sure, she had to chase him to get him to talk but he was talking. It was probably more than she could've asked for so she took it graciously.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 3:13 am
The thank you was not something he was expecting and when those words passed his lips, he knew instantly that he couldn't accept them. Not because she didn't mean it, but because he didn't deserve to be thanked for anything - at least not from Fiona.
He slowly unwound his arms from around her and took a step back. His hands rested on her shoulders in a steadying way until they simply slipped and fell down to his sides. The frown on his face was hard to miss, as was his sudden discomfort with.. everything. He was already half patting his pockets to find his cellphone, to see if there was someone he could call this early to deal with him tonight.
It was going to be a long, long night after all.
"I should have written you or something, at least, I dunno." His eyes weren't on hers anymore, they were drifting over the living room as his plan to get completely wasted was forming in his head. "I didn't write anyone but Khal, though, and that turned out.. ******** beautiful." He sighed as he said that and brought up one hand to rub his thumb and fingers against his brow in a soothing motion. Fiona, Khal, what the hell else was he going to have to deal with next?
He turned his back to her and crossed the livingroom, scooping his cellphone up with one hand and clenching his fist around it. He glanced back up at her then, almost as if he was just noticing her for the first time again. "You should go, before I remind you of any of the other s**t I've done, Fee. You don't need to stay here and cry over who I was and you definitely don't need to see the a** I am now." He shrugged a little as he said it, idly flipping his phone open and closed as he watched her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:59 pm
She was confused, startled at first as he suddenly stepped back. "I doubt it would have changed anything," she commented quietly, looking down as she folded her arms across her chest. "If you couldn't say it to my face what makes you think you could say it in a letter?" She asked, no accusation in her tone as it had been before. It was just that Fiona doubted he would do much different if he had the chance. He had his regrets, yeah, but when faced with the same situation, he'd probably do it all over again.
She watched as he moved about, frowning when he began to play with his phone.
She bit her lip, tempted to say something knowing he would likely spend his night drinking his problems away that it wasn't good. Wasn't healthy but she stopped herself, it wasn't any of her business anymore. Kam made his own decisions and she could never think that telling him what to do was a smart idea.
"I get it," she replied wiping her face before tucking her hair back behind her ears. "I'm leaving," she told him, turning away and heading towards the door. Opening it she paused, glancing back at him sorrowfully. "But," she paused hesitating, "if you need me...I'll probably be around."
She didn't expect anything as she exited the doorway, pulling the door shut behind her. She knew it would be best if she left well enough alone but still, she couldn't help it when she extended the offer to him. If he never took her up on that, then that was fine if he did? Well, it'd be fine too.
The meeting hadn't been what she wanted but it was closure, which was more than she could have asked.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 1:10 am
"Got it," he said in a tone that was more dismissive than he wanted it to be, but once that door was closed and she was on the other side of it, a huge wave of relief swept over him.
He crossed the living room and turned the latch on the lock, as if he were worried she might come storming back in and drag him down memory lane part two. He was a brave man, but he had spent years forgetting the exact things she wanted to talk about, and no matter how confident he was it simply made him uncomfortable. He didn't like to be uncomfortable in his own apartment.
Once he was sure she was walking away, he flipped his phone open and scrolled to a name. It was only a few seconds before he'd punched a message in with his fingers and tossed it aside. Now to just shower and change before he left to go make an a** of himself the exact same way Fiona expected him to.
At least he wouldn't (hopefully) get arrested this time.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
