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 Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:40 pm
ℰℵϯℜӌ
Hmmm, a journal, eh? Am I supposed to begin with 'Dear Diary' or something? Oh wait, I've already written a beginning to this, didn't I? Pretty lame if you ask me, I feel like talking to a piece of paper. Hmmm... maybe if I could enchant it, it might talk back? I don't know, huh? Weird.
It's been so long ever since I've been on my own. As a matter of fact I can't remember being on my own. Since there were so many of us we were always all over the place. Then again, I should move on, point in case. It was me who decided to follow Theo here, after all -of course, but how could I ever even dream of leaving that sorry excuse of a witch alone? He'd get into fights all the time -more than how he does nowadays- and he'd end up getting hurt and where would that leave me? I bet I'd be banging my head against some wall back home cursing my cowardice for not following him here. Even worse, what if he got himself killed? That idiot of a brother... hmph... I still love him so, no matter how stupid he makes himself look like.
And again, it's so quiet. I've never realized how long the hours could get when you don't have to rush around all the time and when there's not someone calling on you to help the younger ones study or make dinner or do the dishes or clean up-
Speaking of cleaning up I should probably go clean. That, and then make dinner and go find Theo so he doesn't starve himself to death. Hmph. And I'm getting an Alchemia. I bet it could help fill up the empty house a little more.
Ugh... what a miserable first entry. I've only be sulking and- hnnngh. I'm done with moping. I promise I'll write about happier things next time.
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Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:01 am
ℰℵϯℜӌ
It's about that date again and I have to decide what to do. Teacher would laugh at me if he knew I plan to skip the Trial yet again. I can't really blame him but I can't really let myself go either. Of course I can't really understand my need to linger on further around things I've learned so well to do either. Is there something more that I can teach myself by staying in one place? Is there something I can find out if I hurry? Even though I'm better at studying than Theo -that being said I never once meant to brag and I haven't so long- he's already a Witch and I still fret over moving on. I don't feel the need to become stronger, I don't even know what it is that I want to do. All I need is to research potions, that much I know, but I don't know, I don't need to be a witch to do this. What's the point in me graduating? Sometimes I find myself wondering why am I even here? I know I came just so I could watch after Theo, so that I could keep him from hurting someone, from hurting himself, but he's already ahead of me and I'm, once again, the one who was left behind even if I had been so confident in doing what I came here to do. Even though I promised I'll try to write about more lighthearted subjects I find myself wanting to confide about my problems more than my happy moments.
I hope to pass the next few days escaping, if that's okay. I feel as if I'm too tired to do anything else. If I can't help myself then who can? I can't allow myself to depend on Theo, after all. I know he'd do anything to support me if I asked him to but that's not the point in this. I must be the one ready to support him whenever he needs me not the opposite. I might be the younger twin but I've always dealt with stress and pain way better than he has. Theo is too extreme, I need to be able to level out the odds, keep him safe, keep myself safe.
I'm going to pass up, by the way, for sure. After this I'm writing a note to explain how and why. Surely teacher will understand if I tell him I feel inadequate, that I feel the need to study more. After all he has always supported me so far. I hope, that this time too I'll be able to pull through. Better not let Theo find out.
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Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 2:13 am
ℜℰℂℴ℧ℵϯ______________________________________Decisions, decisions..._________ ❖ ❖ The morning that passed had been quiet, giving its place to an equally quiet evening; Phil would call it mediocre. There had been little traffic in the pharmacy -which was a good thing, considering that meant Philemon had more time to himself in order to properly study some more. His notes on alchemic potions from the other day were proving to be a valuable asset in his research of medicine and as much as the shop-mistress would like to complain that one's workplace wasn't a place to study she could never deny that Phil had managed to actually increase the potency of several medical substances, however basic.
He was still feeling heavy as he took his way to home, the lukewarm air doing little to help alleviate the stress. Pausing to look his reflection on a window he found himself bringing his free hand up to ruffle his hair as he smiled weakly. How did he manage to end up this way? Surely, it was but a phase, it would go by fast; but either way, right now he felt stressed enough that he wanted to run away somewhere and hide someplace until it all passed him by. "Phil!" he had already been looking forward to a quiet rest of his evening at home -and even more so a tonic tea to revitalize his body and give him a little more strength to continue meticulously studying through it when his hopes for such a possibility where squashed when the voice of his brother rang over the crowd...
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Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 2:29 am
ℰℵϯℜӌ______________________________________Decisions, decisions..._________ ❖ ❖ It's okay, in the end I suppose it's okay. Theo always has this way to set my mind right... I wonder if it's because he's my twin or because we care so much for each other that we can tell exactly what the other needs when he does. Like when I need his shoulder to lean on and it's always there or like when he needs assistance with something... I'm thinking of taking him to meet Teacher someday soon but I fear he might not be ready. I've been trying to break it to Teacher also. Everything is so complicated. I want to tell him, I don't want to tell him... no, not about the tutoring, the other thing... the one that has been lingering there since forever, shadowing every step we both take. Is it fair? Is it not fair? The only reason I fight so hard to keep it secret is to protect him. Is it bad to hide things in order to rpotect somebody?
But in the end, he still set my heart right. I shall not postpone my Trial anymore. I'll try my best, no matter what happens and should I fail I can always try again. Not trying at all is the same as failing, only worse, I guess. That's all...
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 1:06 pm
ℜℰℂℴ℧ℵϯ______________________________________Under the Weather_________ ❖ ❖ It had been a rather dreary evening, that much was true, however Philemon Menniadis couldn't find it in himself to stay home and simply read his book in the quiet while enjoying the pleasant music created by the droplets of rain that smashed against the windows to his home like rather suicidal parachuters. On the other hand he had clearly nowhere else to be otherwise he would have ran there as fast as he could, recklessly so, through the rain if only to escape the restlessness that ate him away.
Therefore, the cure was only one; and it was a perfectly simple solution. All he had to do was get up from the couch where he had been sitting for what seemed to him almost the entire day -shoving Desmond off in the process, because the furry critter had lodged itself comfortably on his lap and sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware. The next step was to find his uniform, which he had washed only the night before and hung it inside to dry, wear it, make sure his tie was properly fixed in its place -because a student shouldn't really look sloppy, should they?- and go to fetch his shoes. This proved to be somewhat of an ordeal since -in the meantime- the naughty Alchemia had somehow figured it would be nice if he snatched them so his master couldn't leave the house. In that manner he spent several more minutes chasing Desmond around the house -managing to trip himself thrice and accidentally hit a wall- and when he finally took his shoes back and seized control of the situation he took to scolding Desmond who innocently looked up at him grinning whimsically. Unable to do much about it Phil dismissed him, sending him back in his card before telling him that he was grounded for the rest of the day.
Sadly all this tripping -and his hitting the wall particularly- had caused him a terrible headache and he had ran out of pain relievers, so, with this and that he, at some point, managed to make his way to the street, protected under the semi-transparent dome of his umbrella. The sound of the droplets as they mashed themselves violently against the fabric usually had a soothing quality about them however now they only helped to make his headache worse. At least the pharmacy wasn't all that far away, he thought while smiling -with a hint of bitterness- to himself.
The pharmacist was nice as always, and gladly handed him his medicine when he explained what exactly had happened, although she joked about how Phil always managed to get himself into what she called 'freak accidents'. Phil found the need to laugh awkwardly as he paid for his medication and apologized for always worrying her so much. As if his twin wasn't enough... He stayed and chatted with her for a while considering there were little to no customers on such a rainy day so Phil thought she'd be lonely. He was about to leave when, while opening the door he almost hit a girl who was about to walk in with it.
"Ah! E-Excuse me!" he exclaimed, thinking he had hit her for sure "A-Are you alright? You're not hurt, are you?" she didn't seem too well -although that might have not been his fault considering she was coming to a pharmacy- but he couldn't help but worry. Not everyone had his own tolerance when it came to pain, after all...
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 1:08 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 11:13 am
ℜℰℂℴ℧ℵϯ______________________________________Secrets of the Trade_________ ❖ ❖ "Six hundred and two... six hundred and three..." Philemon was mumbling to himself, a grimace of intense focus on his face, as he meticulously counted the bookshelves he was passing in the deepest section of the library trying to pinpoint the one that held the book he was interested in. The librarian was currently unavailable, helping another patron with something and so she had simply dismissed him telling him where to look if he didn't feel like waiting. "Six hundred and four, ah, here we are. Hmmm..." his voice was ever quiet, not to disturb anyone who might be trying to research in peace and quiet -it was a library after all- however, at the same time he rather doubted that there was anyone that had any interest in that section. In the end he decided that he couldn't be bothered and so he quietly let it slide, looking through the rows of old, dusty tomes for the one for him. When he finally spotted the book he was looking for he was disheartened to find out that it was climbed up in such a high place, far above his reach. Trying to climb up there could prove quite the ordeal, therefore, Phil glanced around in search of whatever that could make his endeavor a little less... daring. A quick sweeping of the area with his gaze revealed a ladder that was used specifically for the reason of getting to those higher shelves lying around. "I've got you now." Phil mumbled to himself, smirking in self satisfaction as he pulled the ladder over and started climbing.
Finally, he thought as he reached one hand out to trace the elaborately decorated back of the book. To think that such a little treasure was residing in their local library in the Academy and not some collection was absurd yet there it was. "The complete alchemical guide to healing potions." he spoke as he traced the silvery letters with what seemed to be almost adoration. He pulled it out carefully and found himself coughing at the small cloud of dust that his action gave rise to. Just how long had it been there? Phil couldn't help but wonder. Trying to control his cough he practically slid down the ladder -paying additional attention so he wouldn't fall, because falling from that height would mean breaking at least a bone or so which would mean he'd have to hold back on reading his finding.
Making his way to the nearest reading surface he eagerly placed the tome down and got to quickly cleaning it so he would read it a little more easily -without coughing half the time he'd try-. It had been fate, Phil was sure, that their teacher had mentioned that the rare tome was probably in the possession of the library. There would be absolutely no way he wouldn't try to get his hands on it after that, that much was true. He just could not sit still; what with the bright luster of new knowledge shining so alluringly directly in front of him?
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 11:17 am
ℜℰℂℴ℧ℵϯ______________________________________Helping Hand_________ ❖ ❖ It had been a long day, yes, that much was true. It had been a long day and Philemon was tired. He wasn't very tired, in the sense when you gain a wireless connection to your pillow and just looking at it can cause you to fall asleep, no. It was a heavy, sneaky kind of tiredness, one that made his limbs feel heavy and made his head feel like a mess and the midday sun did little but make him to want to fall asleep on the spot. If his hands were free he would stretch, hoping that the motion could make him feel slightly better in his skin but alas, the books he was carrying back from the library to further study on the day's lesson about poisonous substances derived from the natural environment prevented him from doing just that. And it was all so very quiet and overly quiet meant overly boring -although it was an understandable situation- mist students were at home by this hour and they wouldn't go out just yet, it was too early. At least he could take solace in the fact that he wouldn't have to walk for a while longer since his house was less than five minutes away at that point.
When he had actually picked that place to rent he hadn't considered it would take him almost half an hour to get to the library; at least his classes weren't held that far -most of the time. Field practice was a whole different story altogether. That aside it was a convenient location, he thought as he stopped at the nearby bakery to buy himself some bread so he wouldn't have to bake his own that day. Even though he was tired he thanked the baker for his hard work with a bright smile that lit his face up -his eyes that were of the brightest azure hue even more- and with one hundred percent more bread he turned and continued his walk up the neatly paved road that lead to his home, promising himself to brew himself some tonic herbal tea to relax and study in quiet. That was because... well he wanted to go out later in the evening -and if his rowdy brother didn't tag along maybe he could visit some of his classmates. All work and no play was no fun, in the end.
He was already looking forward to relaxing, daydreaming as he went. If he had been any wiser he would have watched where he was going, but of course he didn't. He wasn't notorious for his ability to get himself involved in all sorts of weird accidents for nothing, after all. It was never fatal and Phil always hoped that the day wouldn't come that some mistake of his would cause somebody else to get hurt for no reason, but even so there was little he could do about it. He couldn't help himself. In this case, literally even. All it had taken was for some sort of bead -and whatever was it doing in the middle of the street?- on which he stepped. Naturally his weight was enough for him not to lose his footing, however it hurt somewhat, even through his shoes, and as he instinctively lifted his foot off the ground he simply lost his balanced and... down he went, his belongings flying from his hands only to end up all over the place.
Philemon winced a little, lying down for just another second before sitting up on his knees -both of them stinging now, and Phil was sure they were both scraped- to slowly pick his books back up. "Aah... what a mess..." he muttered to himself. He just had bad luck, he had to deal with it. If his brother had been present he would have already started yelling. Phil was entirely thankful of the fact they lived apart now, for once.
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