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 Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 7:48 pm
Eltanin Sadachbia It's always hardest for those who lived with a loved one who just passed. It seems callous sometimes that others are more easily accepting of a person's passing, but they have probably have felt the way you do (or will someday) at some point in their lives... Everyone grieves differently, and some people feel like not showing their grief to others is actually helpful, brave, and strong. Focusing on other people's attitudes will only serve to upset you more right now, and I am sure that is not what those other people want for you. Please, just worry of your own grief and that of your father, because really, you two have the best understanding of how each other feels at this point. I will still be keeping you and your family in my prayers. Yeah this is some good advice.
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 5:49 am
Southern_cross_nemesis God gave us the stars, so we may always know we are not alone. They shine their light, so we may always find our way home. Clouds may blind our sight, still they shine so bright. At 9:15 last night my mother was introduced to Heaven's light. I hate spreading news like this, but I wanted every to know. I thank thee for their prayers and wishes. I don't know when I will be back online.... I still can't believe she is gone. I feel numb, broken, and overwhelmed with sadness. What hurts the most, it seems everyone is already fine with it. Except for me and my Father. Seriously though, you and your family will be in my prayers. As Elta said, you should focus on how you are coping rather than how others are coping. People cope in different ways. I remember when my mom died how my sister was completely emotionless and I thought she was so inhuman and cruel. Turns out she was emotionless because our mom's death severely traumatized her and she wasn't able to get the help she needed until much later, about 5 or 6 years later. Anyway you and God knows what's going on in your heart. Tend to your wounds first, then you can tend to the wounds of others.
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Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 6:34 pm
Ever feel like you was running in circles? I thought, going to sleep yesterday that I came to terms with her passing... then today, I got my Final grade for Math... 91.8%... a grade I would have loved to have shown her. And it brought up all those emotions and everything again... I fear my other two courses will be roughly the same...
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Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 7:41 pm
Southern_cross_nemesis Ever feel like you was running in circles? I thought, going to sleep yesterday that I came to terms with her passing... then today, I got my Final grade for Math... 91.8%... a grade I would have loved to have shown her. And it brought up all those emotions and everything again... I fear my other two courses will be roughly the same... This is normal from what I recall. There's no magic time that it should be over by. It has to run it's course and you need to express those feelings. You can't force yourself to "get over it". I know it's painful but it has to be felt. Bottling these feelings will cause problems later on. We're here for you though *hugs*.
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Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 8:38 pm
Final grades for my college classes
Health Care Delivery Systems... A
General Math.... A
Anatomy and Physiology 2... B
And right now they mean nothing to me.
I know bottling these feelings, are bad... but, I know no one I can talk to. Other than you guys, and a few other people online... everyone else has left me, or told me roughly to move on because she wouldn't want me to be this way...
I am the one that everyone approached for answers or help... Now, that I am the one that needs it, everyone vanishes...I feel so alone.
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Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 11:02 pm
Southern_cross_nemesis Final grades for my college classes Health Care Delivery Systems... A General Math.... A Anatomy and Physiology 2... B And right now they mean nothing to me. I know bottling these feelings, are bad... but, I know no one I can talk to. Other than you guys, and a few other people online... everyone else has left me, or told me roughly to move on because she wouldn't want me to be this way... I am the one that everyone approached for answers or help... Now, that I am the one that needs it, everyone vanishes...I feel so alone. I know you know that your Mom doesn't want you to be sad but you still feel the loss. Does your school have a councilor of some kind? Most schools do and it's free of charge. Have you talked with your pastor or any pastors? Part of pastoral care is helping others cope with grief so there's another option. I would try to find a school councilor first personally. There's also grief hotlines, yeah they are primarily for suicide and self harm but they might be able to listen still. The point is don't give up seeking help, "if you knock you will get an answer." Keep asking and you will find someone to talk to. If all else fails, PM me and I'll give you my phone number, so you can have at least someone to talk to.
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Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 11:09 am
Can I stab my Pathophyisology teacher?.. I am not a violent person, except in rps, but she wants me to do a paper on the type of tumor that my mother died from.
(Pathophyisology= study of the function of disease)
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Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 8:29 pm
I talk to my chaplain and pastor a lot about issues. They're very helpful actually. @Southern_cross: That's a bit of a bummer with people not being there for you. I know when people help me out, I usually look forward to the opportunity where I can help them. And it's definitely okay to mourn. I'm still a little sad over some people that died years ago. But that's just because I'll always miss them.
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Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 9:00 am
Everyone I know in real life, is what can you do for me, then they walk away. Except, for my dad... and I know he is going though the same hell I am. I don't want to place my burden on him as well. I would talk to my pastor, but I don't have one... I followed my mom to church, or my younger brother. If they wasn't going I didn't
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Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 9:47 am
Southern_cross_nemesis Everyone I know in real life, is what can you do for me, then they walk away. Except, for my dad... and I know he is going though the same hell I am. I don't want to place my burden on him as well. I would talk to my pastor, but I don't have one... I followed my mom to church, or my younger brother. If they wasn't going I didn't Actually, you and your dad both have the same burden, I think he would probably be more than willing to share the burden with you then having you both carry the same weight alone... Your father is probably the best person to help you, and in doing so, will be helping himself... and it works the other way around as well... I know you want to help your dad, what makes you think you can help him, but he can't help you... I also know how people tend to be. As soon as they have gotten what help they can from you, they tend to disappear. Especially when you have a problem. But the thing about people is, they don't know how to handle seeing the people they consider their pillars crumble. Most people are weak, and when their sources of help fall, it shows them just how helpless they really are. Most people would rather close their eyes and ignore the truth of the matter... I do hope you can find a real life friend that will be a pillar for you at this time, but please allow your dad to exercise his strength for you, or you may risk the possibility of him feeling as isolated as you feel now... I love you guy, and am still praying for you and your family.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 9:35 am
I feel like I should be doing something, but everything I did in past years, is kind of useless now. Today, would have been my mother's birthday. Yeah, she was born on the Fourth of July.
I have a question... is the feeling that, I am going to lose everything I hold dear, also apart of grief? I didn't see anything relating to it, in the website Rm gave me
I don't really care about physical things, but I mean family, and friends. Despite them running away from me, I still love them
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:08 pm
Southern_cross_nemesis I feel like I should be doing something, but everything I did in past years, is kind of useless now. Today, would have been my mother's birthday. Yeah, she was born on the Fourth of July. I have a question... is the feeling that, I am going to lose everything I hold dear, also apart of grief? I didn't see anything relating to it, in the website Rm gave me I don't really care about physical things, but I mean family, and friends. Despite them running away from me, I still love them I wouldn't focus on "normal" too much. Normal is really a meaningless comparative especially when it comes to emotions. Anyway I get what you mean though and yes I'd say it's "normal". I mean you said your mom meant a lot to you and you held her in very high regard. If this person that meant so much to you could leave, why couldn't anyone else. Something helpful that councilors recommended was that I try to use my mom's birthday to remember the good times I spent with her. Looking through photo albums, spending a few minutes in prayer, doing something that reminds you of how though she is gone she remains in your heart and is still helping you. I hope that helps. If not try to remember that she would want you to celebrate her birth and life during this time. We can also try to think of something else to try if this doesn't help. You can call me Rob by the way wink
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:20 pm
rmcdra Southern_cross_nemesis I feel like I should be doing something, but everything I did in past years, is kind of useless now. Today, would have been my mother's birthday. Yeah, she was born on the Fourth of July. I have a question... is the feeling that, I am going to lose everything I hold dear, also apart of grief? I didn't see anything relating to it, in the website Rm gave me I don't really care about physical things, but I mean family, and friends. Despite them running away from me, I still love them I wouldn't focus on "normal" too much. Normal is really a meaningless comparative especially when it comes to emotions. Anyway I get what you mean though and yes I'd say it's "normal". I mean you said your mom meant a lot to you and you held her in very high regard. If this person that meant so much to you could leave, why couldn't anyone else. Something helpful that councilors recommended was that I try to use my mom's birthday to remember the good times I spent with her. Looking through photo albums, spending a few minutes in prayer, doing something that reminds you of how though she is gone she remains in your heart and is still helping you. I hope that helps. If not try to remember that she would want you to celebrate her birth and life during this time. We can also try to think of something else to try if this doesn't help. You can call me Rob by the way wink I will try those, and as for the Rob part. I will try to remember it, my younger brother is named Robert... and my older brother's best friend is also Rob. It shouldn't be that hard. I just normally call people on Gaia, by their account names. Force of habit... sorry
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:28 pm
Southern_cross_nemesis I will try those, and as for the Rob part. I will try to remember it, my younger brother is named Robert... and my older brother's best friend is also Rob. It shouldn't be that hard. I just normally call people on Gaia, by their account names. Force of habit... sorry No Problem. Just wanted to let you know you don't have to go by username if you don't want to.
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Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 8:21 am
Alright... sweatdrop
I need a bit of prayer now... gonk
Normally I would just quietly suffer through physical pain, and secretly be proud of myself for being so tough rolleyes , but this is getting ridiculous. crying
I suffered from what the emergency room doctor figured was a gallbladder attack 2am Friday morning. I actually wondered at one point if I was in danger of keeling over. I suffered through it for about 4 hours, trying to distract myself, and stay positive. In the afternoon, I still felt weird, so at the nagging of my mother and the behest of my husband I went to the emergency room for a diagnosis.
Now, the doctor said that it may be awhile before I had another attack (this was my first), but I have had one everyday since Friday. I go to my regular care physician tomorrow, but we really can't afford it. I don't think I can be tough much longer though.
Even after all the tests are done, the fix for a malfunctioning gallbladder is just to take it out, so on top of paying for a few doctor's office visits, I will be having to pay for a surgery soon, it seems.
Secondly: I have been looking for a job for the last 4 months, but I can not find one that can accommodate my schedule, and offer a decent atmosphere.
Now with health issues, I have an added challenge, and an added necessity to getting one.
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