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Sorry this took me so long to fix up. I just wanted to say thank you so much for reviewing my character and helping me add more to her. I really greatly appreciate it! ^_^ I am finally done with all the suggested changes!

Though aside from that I have tried to spruce up my civilian side and powered side using your suggestions. The suggestions definitely helped rounded my character more I think - helping to slightly show the sides of her that aren't all cute and fluffy. I was wondering if you would mind maybe giving her another read-through when you have some free time? That is if you wouldn't mind of course. I'd love to see if I was able to maybe fix all the things you so kindly suggested to me.

Thanks again and Happy News Years! <33

Yay I'm so glad you like her civilian side I had a lot of fun with writing it. ^_^

I feel like I may be selling her attacks short as well to be honest. ^^;

As much as I would love to fix up her attacks, since I had a bit of a hard time coming up with her attacks. I have one question ....

First that does sound really bad-a** and I would love to do that! Though if I did that on her Sailor Scout Attack, how would you suggest making it an upgrade or such to her other attacks?

I mean i think that was the hardest part for me when I tried to think of attacks, I wasn't exactly certain on how to make the others upgrades or such of the first attack.

Thank you so much in advance for all your help everyone who has posted here! ^_^ I really appreciate it, and I'm hoping I can get the hang of creating these character profiles soon -nods-

Civ Side~

Hobbies:
Baking - Very fitting for her character! I was just wondering if she bakes for herself, friends, family? Besides it being something she really enjoys doing, I'd like to know who she does it for!

Acting - Does she act in plays, or does she want to make it a film/television career one day?

I feel like you go into the whys behind all of her hobbies, but not the whos and hows. It's great that you explain why she does everything she does, but I don't feel like I learned about the hobby so much as her past when I read them. Does she do these things alone, or with other people? Does she take acting classes? Who does she bake for? Does she only sing in the shower or in the car, or on stage in a huge concert? I'd just like to know more about WHAT she does, not why she does it.

Virtues:
I know I can do this, I know i can do this! - The first half is perfect.. But the second half (starting where it goes into it haunting her dreams) gets flipped from being a virtue to being a super big flaw. If you want to do both sides of this trait, you need to split it up and put half in Virtues and half in Flaws instead. You can briefly touch upon how she reacts when she fails, but it doesn't need to be quite so in-depth that it changes the dynamic of the Virtue.

Nothing is as bad as it first may seem - I think you get a little lost in this Virtue. I really don't understand why it goes from "everything has a positive side" to her hatred of the media. Besides the first 2 sentences, the second paragraph can be cut from it entirely.

Just tell me where you are and I'll be there in a flash - Again, the second paragraph turns this from a Virtue into a Flaw. The first half is written perfectly and then the second half turns and says if it was a Negaverse Agent she wouldn't dare help them at all... Which to me reads that she is incredibly selective in who she helps, which doesn't make it a Virtue at all. I think if you wrote that she would be incredibly conflicted if it was a bad guy that was hurt, that would be a little better. Just doing a complete 180 like that changes it so drastically.

If I say Ill be, I'll be there. Trust me! - This Virtue is almost identical to the one previous. Since you only have 3 Flaws, you can drop this one entirely as your Virtues and Flaws need to be even. :3

Flaws:
Shy ... Who me? - I think you need to re-work this one a little bit. Since these should be things that can be seen in most situations, you may want to change that it ONLY affects her in conversation- if it's such a crippling shyness, it should say that it affects her in every way besides when she is singing. How does she overcome this shyness in acting in front of people?

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I think for the most part, she's a very well-rounded character. I do feel, however, that in almost everything you've written about her, you include SO MUCH about her past that it takes away from the point you're trying to make. I kept forgetting what Virtue or Flaw I was reading about because it always went back to her past. Maybe instead of having all of that extra stuff written in her Virtues and Flaws, you can write about her family and her past in a separate section all-together. I'm not saying to remove all of it entirely as we need to know how it affects her and why she is that way! I'm really curious to know more about what happened to her as you just get bits and pieces of it from her Virtues and Flaws that it can be a little bit confusing (although very interesting)! I really like the idea of a super sweet girl with a bit of a dark side.<3

Senshi Side!
1st Attack - I love it! The only thing that needs to be changed is that a starter-level attack would never paralyze anyone with pain. Paralyzing is a strong word to use, I think. Add whether or not she can do it more than once per battle, and a distance that this attack reaches and you're golden~

2nd Attack - This one is perfect; just add how many times she can do it + distance that it reaches.

3rd Attack - Besides the max of 30 seconds and min of 25 seconds, this is good! I'd just pick a length of time and stick with it. Add amount of times per battle and distance!

As for the downsides- It doesn't make much sense to me that she attracts her own sweetness unless this attack is attracted to the opponents sweetness? Instead of it affecting her personally, maybe there is some sort of chance that it can affect people on her side?

Hopefully I'm not being confusing XDDDD If you have further questions or I was unclear (which I know sometimes I can get too wordy), just quote me and I'll be back to help you out! heart

I think you've pretty much got it covered, no worries! heart

I'm gonna go ahead and drop a trial stamp for you and a GM will be by to either crit a little more for some fine-tuning, or give you a full stamp.<3