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 Posted: Thu May 19, 2011 4:37 pm
You can't spell SLAUGHTER without LAUGHTER
I'm not an a**, I just have been through too much s**t to care.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you.
Laugh for a long time for no apparent reason, they leave you alone.
There are TWO things that are infinite. The universe, and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe.
~Albert Einstein
My rebuttal for people who say I failed:
I did not fail, I discovered a way not to win.
Right when you think you've hit rock bottom, someone gives you a bigger shovel.
Rule #1 of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
My goals in life:
1) Join the Marines
2) Get rich
3) Stay alive long enough to get #2 and enjoy it.
I love how when people in movies are like, "Hello?" as if the bad guy is gonna be like, "Yeah, I'm in the kitchen, wanna sandwich?"
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Posted: Thu May 19, 2011 4:58 pm
7/5 people don't understand fractions.
There are 3 types of people: Those who can count, and those who can't.
Remember those childhood dreams? When we wanted to be something? Why isn't the world filled with Ballerinas, Firemen, Princesses and Astronauts?
Holy crap, the world is going to end! Either next year or this weekend... Where the hell is Will Smith or Arnold Schwarzenegger when we need them?
Lost my phone, my wallet, my keys and my homework... Oh, has anyone seen my sanity?
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 5:30 am
Kandle_The_Wosky Jonstalker62 Red Riding Hood was about to go to her grandmother's home when her mother stopped her to give her some advice. "Don't take the forest path," said Red's mother "or the Big Bad Wolf will get you and suck your tits dry." Red agreed and set out. She tried to take the mountain path and not the forest path, but it was too long and she soon switched trails. A turtle stopped her on her way and siad "Turn back now, or the Big Bad Wolf will catch you and suck your tits dry." Little Red ignored the warnings and continued down the forest path. Finally, the BIg Bad Wolf stepped into the path and addressed Red "Okay Little Red, take off your shirt so I can suck your tits dry." "Oh no you don't," said Little Red, lifting up her skirt "You're going to eat me, just like the story says." Oh my God, Jon! That's naughty! scream (I still laughed. Looks like Guardian has some competition!) Red Riding Hood is my favorite, I've told it countless times and I still get a ton of laughs.
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 11:38 am
Jonstalker62 Kandle_The_Wosky Jonstalker62 Red Riding Hood was about to go to her grandmother's home when her mother stopped her to give her some advice. "Don't take the forest path," said Red's mother "or the Big Bad Wolf will get you and suck your tits dry." Red agreed and set out. She tried to take the mountain path and not the forest path, but it was too long and she soon switched trails. A turtle stopped her on her way and siad "Turn back now, or the Big Bad Wolf will catch you and suck your tits dry." Little Red ignored the warnings and continued down the forest path. Finally, the BIg Bad Wolf stepped into the path and addressed Red "Okay Little Red, take off your shirt so I can suck your tits dry." "Oh no you don't," said Little Red, lifting up her skirt "You're going to eat me, just like the story says." Oh my God, Jon! That's naughty! scream (I still laughed. Looks like Guardian has some competition!) Red Riding Hood is my favorite, I've told it countless times and I still get a ton of laughs. Yeah, that was my favorite. So a koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking some weed, and a little lizard happened to pass by and see the koala. The koala's eyes were red and bloodshot, but his face look relaxed and happy. So the lizard asks him, " Hey koala! What are you doing?" and the koala replies, "I'm smokin' some weed n***a. You wanna hit?" So the lizard agrees and tries some of the weed. His eyes turn yellow and they both start laughing at the stupidest jokes, and almost fall out of the tree. The lizard stops laughing for a minute and says, "hey, I'm going to go get a drink." So the lizard climbs down and goes to the river. When the lizard gets there, an alligator was swimming next to him. He pops up and says, "Hey lizard! What were you doing with koala?" So he says, "I just tried weed, dude! It was awesome!" The alligator looks curious and says, "do you think he'd let me try some?" The lizard thinks for a minute, and says, "Yeah, if you ask. Better hurry! The bag is almost empty." So the alligator goes over to koala and tries to get his attention. "Hey! Hey Koala!" The koala looks down and goes, "daaaaamn dude! How much did you drink!?"
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 8:25 am
Guardian Wolf 117 Hey guy's... Sorry if you look forward to these jokes, my friend Matt is going away for the summer... sadly. He is the main source of these jokes... sorry. why don't you make your own jokes rolleyes (not trying to be mean smile )
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 12:09 pm
I was watching a vidio on youtube and this guy was listining to a sandwitch and he said "what's that sandvitch kill them all.....ALRIGHT" I find it weird stare
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