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Mrs Yachi-san
Mrs Yachi-san
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 Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 12:00 pm
Keyoshi Storm There's no reason to get defensive. It would be a good idea to get a few people to critique you. Like me, i'm nice when I do it. I help and give tips and suggestions. It really will help, I promise. And besides, you should't listen to your teacher. She's stupid for doing something like that. Crap like that keeps kids from continuing with their writing. I like your stuff, I see some great stories behind all of them. Just keep writing, and if you do change your mind about letting people critique you, like I said, I'm here as a teacher, a writer, and a friend. Wasn't trying to be defensive, just stating everything. Well I can't write anymore because I was forced to go to a counselor because of some of my poems, no one believed me when I said I wasn't saying I was going to kill myself or anything like that. That I was just using the writing as a way to get my emotions out without hitting walls. That was what I used to do to try and let my anger and other emotions out.
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Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 12:18 pm
Yachiru Delacroix Keyoshi Storm There's no reason to get defensive. It would be a good idea to get a few people to critique you. Like me, i'm nice when I do it. I help and give tips and suggestions. It really will help, I promise. And besides, you should't listen to your teacher. She's stupid for doing something like that. Crap like that keeps kids from continuing with their writing. I like your stuff, I see some great stories behind all of them. Just keep writing, and if you do change your mind about letting people critique you, like I said, I'm here as a teacher, a writer, and a friend. Wasn't trying to be defensive, just stating everything. Well I can't write anymore because I was forced to go to a counselor because of some of my poems, no one believed me when I said I wasn't saying I was going to kill myself or anything like that. That I was just using the writing as a way to get my emotions out without hitting walls. That was what I used to do to try and let my anger and other emotions out. My heart has been broken for the last time. I'm going to make it stop now. I'm going to let my pain flow, xxxxxxfrom my personal red sea. I'll let the waters stain the hearts of those who cared, and let it drown, the one's who didn't. And when all of it's gone, my tears will be dried, My heart will stop aching, And I will finally stop longing, for the things that are unobtainable. That's what you wanted anyway, right? I'm going to make it stop now. xxxxI'm going to let my pain flow, xxxxxxfrom my personal red sea. I wrote that I like... 6th grade. s**t poem, but my parents wanted to get my counseling because of it. I know how you feel. It hurts, but there's nothing you can do about it but try. I'm good at poetry when I actually try and care, but a lot of my stuff is overly depressing, so... you ungerstand.
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Mrs Yachi-san
Mrs Yachi-san
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Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 10:33 pm
Keyoshi Storm I wrote that I like... 6th grade. s**t poem, but my parents wanted to get my counseling because of it. I know how you feel. It hurts, but there's nothing you can do about it but try. I'm good at poetry when I actually try and care, but a lot of my stuff is overly depressing, so... you ungerstand. I can't try. It seems every time I would try and write I would just end up getting MORE pissed off or upset because I would be doing so well then suddenly everything that was there in my head just vanishes. I can't finish the poems or even try to because when I do they just get worse and make me mad so I just stopped trying and now I just bottle up my emotions. *shrugs* Guess thats one reason I have really bad acid reflux.
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Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:17 am
Yachiru Delacroix Keyoshi Storm I wrote that I like... 6th grade. s**t poem, but my parents wanted to get my counseling because of it. I know how you feel. It hurts, but there's nothing you can do about it but try. I'm good at poetry when I actually try and care, but a lot of my stuff is overly depressing, so... you ungerstand. I can't try. It seems every time I would try and write I would just end up getting MORE pissed off or upset because I would be doing so well then suddenly everything that was there in my head just vanishes. I can't finish the poems or even try to because when I do they just get worse and make me mad so I just stopped trying and now I just bottle up my emotions. *shrugs* Guess thats one reason I have really bad acid reflux. mhm mhm. I understand. i'm the same why. It's weird, but most of my insperation comes to me when I'm in the shower. And it's frustrating because I have to keep reciting it to myself or else i'll forget it. But I get out and start writing it down... and just forget the second half and cant think of it anymore. Its depressing. But still, trying even if you do get pissed. Just walk away and do others things to calm you down and don't mess with it for a few days.
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Mrs Yachi-san
Mrs Yachi-san
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 7:42 am
I've tried that in the past, it doesn't seem to work. I just can't even write anymore. Even when it comes to creating RP story lines. For some reason I get ideas but I can't put anything down. *shrugs* Oh well. If you want to critique me go ahead but I would rather not have anyone critique me on my last poem.
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 12:18 pm
Yachiru Delacroix I've tried that in the past, it doesn't seem to work. I just can't even write anymore. Even when it comes to creating RP story lines. For some reason I get ideas but I can't put anything down. *shrugs* Oh well. If you want to critique me go ahead but I would rather not have anyone critique me on my last poem. you should think of letting other critique you though. If you don't this thread will die and be deleted or moved to the recycle bin. We are here to share and be critiqued. Just try it. If you have problems, let me know.
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 12:32 pm
hey I'm kinda new to writing poetry and wanted to get some oppinions on my stuff mrgreen
"From dawn to dusk
I think of thee,
As I feel your sweet spirit come over me.
A calming hand,
A warming heart,
You and I shall never part.
Follow me as I kneel to pray,
to thank you for my days of praise.
To you I owe,
my life I lend,
for in return I promise a friend."
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 1:09 pm
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 1:38 pm
Knight of the Royal Court I think its great. It evokes emotion and as a bonus, its rythms~ x]
Yachiru i would comment (of course without harshness, since i usually only praise people) your work but you seem kinda.. touchly about it. Perfectly understandable, even more so about the last one, but just thought i should throw that out there.
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 1:42 pm
Ty I have some in the arenas as well ^^ 4.5 star average.
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Mrs Yachi-san
Mrs Yachi-san
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:17 pm
I did edit the first post saying people can critique, just I would rather not have anyone say anything about the last poem. That is really the main one I don't want anything said about. Honestly the other poems I don't care much about considering most of them were from a time when I was in a bad relationship, and the only thing that I wouldn't want said about them is that they aren't poems because they aren't written correctly or rhyme or things like that.
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:20 pm
Knight of the Royal Court I like your poem. I am not really good at commenting/critiquing. Sorry if I can't be of any help other then to say that I like your poem and it was pretty good. I used to have a few of the poems I have listed, but I deleted them ALL from the arenas because that was one of the places I got the most negative comments. I even had people talking down about my fathers death for that was the main poem I had submitted.
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Mrs Yachi-san
Mrs Yachi-san
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Mrs Yachi-san
Mrs Yachi-san
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:21 pm
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:22 pm
If someone does that you should report them... you shouldn't deal with that.
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