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 Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 8:13 pm
"Whoever said I wanted to be with Billy?" Paris wondered, propping his hands onto his hips, completely and utterly appalled by the very idea. "You actually think I'd want to date him? You think I'm angry because you have him and I don't?" He almost laughed, but he didn't think that would be appropriate at the moment. "Please, Ladon, take him! He's all yours!"
The thought of dating someone like Billy Roadinger brought with it two reactions -- humor, because it really was a very funny mental image, he and Billy sitting in a quaint cafe, gazing across the table into one another's eyes or whatever other sickeningly sappy things people did on dates; but there was also disgust. He would never consent to date anyone who thought the way Billy thought of him.
"I'm angry because of the things he said about me, because of how he lied to you about what happened between us, and because you just lapped it up like his little puppy, without thinking that I might be the one telling the truth," he said. He knew he might be hurting Ladon more with the things he was saying, but he felt they had to be said. Ladon obviously still didn't understand, and Paris wasn't going to go without explaining it to him. "It wasn't a mistake, Ladon. Yeah, I was the one who came on to him, but he was definitely interested and he definitely doesn't have any regrets about it. If he regrets anything, it's that you had to find out about it."
Which he was sure would have happened eventually, even if he hadn't walked in on them that night. One day, he and Billy would have encountered one another again, probably while Ladon was there, Ladon would have grown curious and Paris, valuing honesty, would have told him the truth. He wasn't the type to lie about things like that, especially if his past relations with Billy could potentially effect Ladon's relationship with him.
"So what if I'm a slut? So what if I don't go looking for love? That doesn't mean I can't have an opinion about it, and that doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to relationships. Look at yourself, Lady," he said, motioning toward him, slipping and using the nickname unintentionally. He barely noticed it, and when it did he didn't bother to correct himself. "You've only gone on three dates, or two dates and one ruined one, and you think you can preach to me about things like love?"
It just didn't make any sense to him, how Ladon could think things like that, unless he craved love so badly he saw it everywhere.
"You don't love Billy, Lady. You barely even know him, and if you're starting this relationship with the intention of loving him, you're doing it all wrong. You don't date someone because you want to love them. You date them because you like them and you want to be with him. Love happens later, not after three dates. You can like him all you want, though I'll never understand why you do, but you can't try to find love where it doesn't exist yet. If you're so confused about what you are or what you want, why do you insist on believing that this thing with Billy is the real deal?"
He was just trying to look for him. That was all he'd ever tried to do. He, like Ladon, didn't have any true friends. Having one now, having someone he actually gave a damn about, he just wanted to protect him. Maybe it was a little selfish, not wanting someone else to come along to take that away, but he thought he'd been doing right by Ladon. He thought he'd showed him that he actually cared about him, whether or not he cared about anyone else.
"You're such a nice guy, Lady. Who else would put up with me the way you do? You're just... you're so naive about things," he said, and then quickly added before Ladon could argue, "Don't say you're not because even you know you are! I just don't want Billy ruining you."
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 8:30 pm
What anger he started out with when Paris first started talking had turned cold by the end, and Ladon stood, one hand bend and holding his other arm, rubbing it as he thought to himself. He didn't like his feelings put to question, but maybe Paris was a little right. Maybe he wasn't paying enough attention and he was getting ahead of himself. If he wanted to be mature about this, he had to keep a level head and approach the fact that he had only been with Billy for two dates. He barely knew him, which was very apparent after all he was learning about him in such a short time, but that didn't mean it was over. It also didn't mean he couldn't eventually, down the road, fall in love with him. He just had to keep himself in check and stop from acting like some love-crazed teenager like everyone else he hated at school did. If he wanted this to work, he had to take each date as a small step, and not jump ahead. Then, later, he'd be certain that Billy loved him too. That after all their dates, all their time getting to know each other, that he could feel the right time when he could love him. He just hoped he would know when the time came – and that they could make it that far.
"Okay…………I'll keep things in perspective. I like Billy. I just want to love him. I'll try not to let that confuse me." Yes Paris, you did get through to him a little. A small victory in the mess of disagreements they were having. "……but don't question it anymore. I want to be with Billy because I like him. That's enough." That was enough for Paris at least, and it certainly was enough for Ladon. He was sick dog that could live on whatever scraps he could get – though now that Paris pointed it out, he felt sick about his behavior.
He continued rubbing his arm. Without the hate of anger and frustration keeping him company, he was very cold. "Despite what you think of him, I like him and want to be with him. If that turns out to be a mistake, then you have to let me figure that out. That’s my call." He was, after all, the one deciding who he went out with. Ladon decided not to mention that there were plenty of people who could have told him not to be friends with Paris, and he would never take their advice. He gave them both a chance, and he was happy with his decision. They were good people.
At least, he looked up again. "Are we friends then? Even if I'm naive liar?" He was trying to poke at Paris a bit.
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 8:56 pm
Paris frowned. He really didn't understand what Ladon saw in Billy. They didn't seem as if they would have anything in common at all, anything to build off of. He could certainly see the darkly mysterious appeal that was Billy, but he didn't equate that sort of attraction with a relationship, at least not a lasting one. Something told him that Billy would only hurt Ladon, and while he could very well be wrong about that, Paris usually trusted his instincts.
Even so, what could he say to change things? Ladon was admitting now that he was getting ahead of himself, and that was something Paris was greatly relieved to hear, but at the same time Ladon still seemed intent on seeing this thing with Billy through. Paris supposed it was natural for him to do so, and he would agree that there was no way for Ladon to learn if he didn't experience it for himself. He could give Ladon as much advice as he wanted, but in the end if was the experiences Ladon went through that would make the most impact.
He wanted to continue cautioning him against Billy, but he didn't. He'd said his piece, explained himself, and now it was time to move on -- or try to. Paris took a deep breath and let it out slowly, closing his eyes for a moment as he attempted to settle himself down. Were they friends? Could he stand by and watch Ladon and Billy make an effort at having a relationship, while being suspicious of Billy the entire time? It would be difficult to keep his mouth shut, and frustrating if things turned out the way he envisioned, but if he didn't stick around and Billy ended up trampling all over Ladon, who would Ladon have when it was over?
Opening his eyes again, Paris move forward to wrap his arms around Ladon's neck, hugging him tightly. He was angry and he was upset, but he didn't want to walk away from this. He knew there was a possibility that he could end up being hurt again, and he felt stupid for allowing himself to be put in that position when he usually tried so hard to avoid it, but he couldn't just turn his back on Ladon, not when they were facing each other and talking, and he remembered how good it felt to be so close to another person without them expecting anything from him.
"I missed you, Lady," he said quietly, and then added even more softly, "I'm sorry."
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 9:23 pm
It was a welcomed gesture to be hugged, and Ladon reached up and returned the friendly embrace. It felt like forever since they had just talked and did this, and while he had always been a person who valued his space, he missed Paris' hugs terribly. After all that had happened, he didn't know what he could have wanted more than just a simple second chance and a hug. No, it was his third chance. He didn't understand it. While Paris could be told by many people of being the worst example of a model person, Ladon felt he was more and more amazing than most people he met. Honest, caring, and constantly forgiving. What previous perceptions Ladon had in being the one with better morales had been put into question with Paris, and he felt he wasn't one to judge when he constantly proved to be the one with all the mistakes. However, Paris still let him come back, and it was a major decision for the blondet o let him be his friend.
He didn't know why. With Paris' looks and personality, he could have whatever friend he wanted. From his stories, Ladon knew he could be surrounded by people who wanted to share his time outside of the bedroom whenever he wanted, and yet he picked him. The lying, not so spectacular, hopelessly unpopular, not handsome in any movie-star way, naïve friend who kept screwing up and in one way or another, kept breaking the one promise he kept saying he couldn't. He hoped that one day he would just do right by his friend, but for now, he was happy to be back to wherever they were. The border of friendship but not outside of that territory. It was nice. Like being home.
Smiling, he leaned into the hug, setting his head down and breathing in the light smell of the boy's perfume. Hah! Perfume! He always found it surprising that Paris wore it, and smiling to himself, he nodded. "I'm missed you too." And he hugged tighter for extra measure. "...sorry."
FIN
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