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 Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 9:55 am
Sanguina Cruenta CalledTheRaven This was some of the other stuff I wanted to talk about. I just couldn't think of how to word it and didn't have the time to work it out. See, I identify as female just because that's how I think of myself. However, I've always been a tomboy I tend to think that when certain behaviors or traits are considered masculine or feminine it's just a false social construct. I agree in a sense. I mean I am female, I feel female, I am glad and in a sense proud to be female, definitely a feminist also. But I would have a hard time defining what "female" is. I don't think you are in any way limited to what jobs or hobbies or roles you can play by your gender. I don't like that kids' clothing is always colour-coded. (I told my cousins when they had their girls not to enforce gender roles. But they had everything in pink anyway. I suppose it's hard to find stuff that isn't pink or blue.) Along these lines.... it annoys me that women can be astronauts and loggers or whatever and that's great but men get funny looks if they want to be a nanny or whatever. ALSO. When I was a kid I wanted transformers and matchbox cars and no one got me any! (I also liked my barbies.) Gender's definitely a social construct in the sense of the dichotomy and such but it's not completely a learned thing on an individual level. There's totally some nature in there too, as evidenced by that POOR kid Stephen someone whose p***s was burned off in a botched circumcision and they raised him as a girl and he felt wrong his entire life until he was 12 and his dad told him what had happened and he was all "WELL THAT EXPLAINS IT THEN" and lived the rest of his life as a man. And this utter wanker psychologist abused him and his brother by turning him into his experiment. What was his naaaame. Here we go! Dr. Money. ANYWAY. Yes. Studies on gender are ongoing. There's not a great deal in the way of solid conclusions as yet. Oh I uderstand it's by no means black and white. As I said, I feel female, even though I can't identify any reason why. I've heard about the guy you mentioned. He felt male, for whatever reason. And yes, that doctor was an a**. I suppose some of my opinions on this stem from the fact that my parents raised us pretty much gender equal. My brothers and I all had hot wheels, and dinosaurs. We played in the mud and climbed trees together. We also all had stuffed animals and dolls and other cute things. We played house and made cookies with our parents. They never told us that we should be better or worse at something because of our gender. I suppose we learned by example. Both our parents cooked and cleaned. They both worked their butts off in very physical jobs (landscaping). When one of them had to get another job to tide things over for the winter, it was usually Mom, while Dad would stay home and make sure we all got off to school and such. Does any of this affect my path or my spirituality? Well, it did provide the initial push that lead to my break with Christianity. Sermons about gay people being damned didn't sit real well with me.
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Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 10:51 am
Morgandria Our coven has done same-sex handfasting as well as hetero versions...it isn't a stretch for me to imagine Poly handfastings. I know I wouldn't personally have an issue performing one. smile My HP is gay- and a total Sweetheart and my HPS is Poly (less of a total Sweetheart and more just Awesome) so I feel very safe when I talk to them about that kind of stuff. sweatdrop It's such an improvement from the last coven. Sanguina Cruenta I don't think you are in any way limited to what jobs or hobbies or roles you can play by your gender. I don't like that kids' clothing is always colour-coded. (I told my cousins when they had their girls not to enforce gender roles. But they had everything in pink anyway. I suppose it's hard to find stuff that isn't pink or blue.) Seafoam green and yellow are what a lot of people who don't know the sex of a kid around here will use. Quote: Along these lines.... it annoys me that women can be astronauts and loggers or whatever and that's great but men get funny looks if they want to be a nanny or whatever. It annoys me too. Sexism sucks- no matter who is on the receiving end. Quote: Gender's definitely a social construct in the sense of the dichotomy and such but it's not completely a learned thing on an individual level. There's totally some nature in there too, as evidenced by that POOR kid Stephen someone whose p***s was burned off in a botched circumcision and they raised him as a girl and he felt wrong his entire life until he was 12 and his dad told him what had happened and he was all "WELL THAT EXPLAINS IT THEN" and lived the rest of his life as a man. And this utter wanker psychologist abused him and his brother by turning him into his experiment. What was his naaaame. Here we go! Dr. Money. In the Gender Studies programs I have taken it removes Nature from Gender- it's only Sex that involves Nature, and Gender is nurture- usually based on sex. There are these really subtle differences that are really hard to explain- so if I mess up, I'll try and fix it. David's experiences resemble what a lot of trans and 3rd Gender people go through- that in their hearts they have an identity that doesn't match their body. iKillCaustic--uKillMe I am a born female, though there is a certain time of the month I really wish I was male (I think you know what I'm getting at...). Do you feel like you need to be a man- or is it that having female equipment sucks on your period and you just don't want it to suck?
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Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 4:19 am
Esiris iKillCaustic--uKillMe I am a born female, though there is a certain time of the month I really wish I was male (I think you know what I'm getting at...). Do you feel like you need to be a man- or is it that having female equipment sucks on your period and you just don't want it to suck? The second option - I always have horribly painful cramps during my period and nothing I've tried so far has helped relieve them...
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Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 9:33 am
iKillCaustic--uKillMe The second option - I always have horribly painful cramps during my period and nothing I've tried so far has helped relieve them... Ah- got ya. 3nodding For me it's a huge difference. One of my Roomies is Gender Fluid- He goes between two genders. He likes masculine identifiers and feminine possessive pronouns. He really wishes her plumbing would shift with her mood.
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Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:08 am
I'm female in gender and sex. I'm not 100% certain what it means be be female gendered, only that I don't feel out of place in my body and that I have no problem being associated a female.
I'm bi but physically I prefer the female body to the male. I date people for who they are and am not unattracted to male parts but if I'm just looking and not interacting I'm more interested in looking at girls, I'm sort of indifferent to most male physicque.
I've never been in a serious non-monogomas relationship but I'm not opposed to the idea. Ground rule would need to be clear and even (we'd all be romanitically involved with each other or maybe we'd both be free to date others, I'm not sure I just know that it couldn't be a situation where I was only "allowed" to be with him/her and he/she was allowed to be with as many or as few as he/she wanted or vis a versa).
I generally view sex at least partially as a form of power play, which makes me predisposed to some forms of bondage and domination. They aren't required, though they are prefered. I don't have interest in pain centered or punishment based activities, just the power play/ submition/ control aspect. It's a communication trust kind of thing I guess.
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Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:17 am
blindfaith^_^ I'm female in gender and sex. I'm not 100% certain what it means be be female gendered, only that I don't feel out of place in my body and that I have no problem being associated a female. I'm bi but physically I prefer the female body to the male. I date people for who they are and am not unattracted to male parts but if I'm just looking and not interacting I'm more interested in looking at girls, I'm sort of indifferent to most male physicque. I've never been in a serious non-monogomas relationship but I'm not opposed to the idea. Ground rule would need to be clear and even (we'd all be romanitically involved with each other or maybe we'd both be free to date others, I'm not sure I just know that it couldn't be a situation where I was only "allowed" to be with him/her and he/she was allowed to be with as many or as few as he/she wanted or vis a versa). I generally view sex at least partially as a form of power play, which makes me predisposed to some forms of bondage and domination. They aren't required, though they are prefered. I don't have interest in pain centered or punishment based activities, just the power play/ submition/ control aspect. It's a communication trust kind of thing I guess. Seems like we have some stuff in common.
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Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:43 am
Hmm, that's a toughie.
I'm female sexed and female gendered. I'm sexually attracted to males, but am not opposed to appreciation of the female form. It's possible that if it weren't for my husband that I would try dating women, but I don't know. Never met a girl that I had romantic interest in.
Before I met my husband I'd never met a guy I had romantic interest in either. I was beginning to think I may be asexual, but Realized that I just have a low drive when not in a stable, mutual relationship.
I'm far too possessive of my husband to ever try a poly relationship, though I can easily see why it works for some people.
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Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 1:35 pm
blindfaith^_^ I'm female in gender and sex. I'm not 100% certain what it means be be female gendered, only that I don't feel out of place in my body and that I have no problem being associated a female. That's about how it works for me. blindfaith^_^ I've never been in a serious non-monogomas relationship but I'm not opposed to the idea. Ground rule would need to be clear and even (we'd all be romanitically involved with each other or maybe we'd both be free to date others, I'm not sure I just know that it couldn't be a situation where I was only "allowed" to be with him/her and he/she was allowed to be with as many or as few as he/she wanted or visa versa). I think having the situation be clear is a good thing. My is fairly well defined. There are actually three distinct relationships going on. Myself and my boyfriend. Myself and my girlfriend. My girlfriend and her husband. My girlfriend and I were each in monogamous relationships with our respective fellas when stuff started happening between the two of us. Stuff neither of us were expecting. Once we figured out what was going on, our first step was to tell the guys and hope for the best. it's worked out fairly well. Shearaha ... It's possible that if it weren't for my husband that I would try dating women, but I don't know. Never met a girl that I had romantic interest in. Before I met my husband I'd never met a guy I had romantic interest in either. I was beginning to think I may be asexual... I can understand that. I was about 23 before I was really truly attracted to anyone. I'd been aesthetically attracted to people, appreciating the beauty of their bodies and such, and I'd considered dating a few people. Mostly because I liked hanging out with them and I figured I was supposed to go on dates and such. but an actual real attraction, physically and emotionally wasn't forthcoming until I met a girl in college.
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 2:25 am
I'm female both in gender and sex. Um, I identified as bisexual at first, then lesbian (it was a very harsh hatred of any and all things male, save for kin), and now I'd say that I'm bi-curious. That is to say, I wanna know what the fuss about male genitalia during intercourse is. I still prefer females, but I've recently discovered that boys are intriguing (this is mostly due to the fact that I had an intimate biting encounter with a friend while he was drunk, and I'm kinda curious about boys now XD).
I've been in a lot of different types of relationships. Polyamourous ones with 2 girls (didn't work out and was quickly squished), as well as ones with a boy and girl (also squished...). I also dated someone who I had become friends with who was born male, but was transgender (right term?). I was ok with that, and was trying to help Leslie transition, but it got very awkward when she started hitting on my sister. She graduated and we stopped talking.
I've been dating the same person on and off again for like, 5 years. In that time span, during a few of our "on" phases, she told me that, as long as I talked to her first, she didn't mind me experimenting with others (she was my first serious relationship and understood that I might be interested/curious about others. She's older and had more relationship than me, so she was encouraging me to find myself. I squee about her still). Right now, my relationship status is complicated. I'm single, but if the situation changes with my living conditions (my mother hates Dare, my on again/off again girlfriend) then Dare and I will be back together (98% positive, at least, unless we're with someone else at the time).
So...confusing? Erm.... sweatdrop
To simplify: I like girlies, I'm boy curious, and I'm not opposed to loving more than one person at a time, as long as they aren't opposed either (and they hafta get along with each other).
EDIT: Also, if anyone bites me, I kinda turn into goo, and then I hafta go away for awhile. Some forms of pain are very yummy. Thus, why I have so many piercings and why I'll end up with so many tattoos. 3nodding
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 2:47 am
All I hafta say is, if I can't bite someone, it's a massive turn-off.
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:45 am
Hmm...first time I bit my boyfriend he jumped and squealed. Two days later he asked me to do it again...apparently he likes it when I bite his ears...
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 6:44 am
Just throwing this out here but I think a lot of mean like being bitten. It's, to me, animalistic and oddly sweet. Unfortuantely, I'd have no clue how'd I would actually react. LDRs suck massively and my ex...yeah dont get me started on her.
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 7:39 am
My girlfriend likes the biting, on the ears, and boobs mostly. And her lower lip. That kinda makes her gooey. Haven't tried it much with it my boyfriend yet. He's a shy, inexperienced Catholic boy and I haven' had much experience myself so we're taking things slow in the introducing new stuff area. I do like to bite though o it'll be addressed soon.
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 9:12 am
Amytheria I also dated someone who I had become friends with who was born male, but was transgender (right term?). Transgendered is the most widely accepted term. To me it usually seems more polite to address someone as a trans woman or a trans man because what sex they're born with isn't as important as their identity. Individual trans people may have a preference so it's always best to ask the person you're talking to how they feel about labels.
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 10:07 am
I identify as male and my sex is male. I am sexually attracted to females, some transgenders, and some men. I don't really consider myself bi since my attraction to men seems to be more infrequent than common, but I acknowledge that I do have these feelings. As for my attraction to transgendered this is a relatively recent discovery of mine so I'm still exploring and trying to figure out this new aspect of myself.
Edit: Biting on the earlobe gets me very horny.
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