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Chapter XIII: Hellz Naw, It's Far From Over!

T-t-t-t-topic revival! Sorry guys, but the good news is I'm getting back with adding what I couldn't and hopefully I can get them all in one album. D:

I'm going to make the chapters huge just so I can make everything flowy and pretty, so comments every now and then would be great so I don't rape your servers that much and so my massive updates are spread apart.

Chapter 2 Map

Plan of assault: Everybody makes a mad rush to aid Nodion, after saving them, we make a madder rush to take Hierhein, to save the villages, all of that needs to be done in around sixteen turns. After doing so, we fight our way up to Anphony and take it, BUT: before taking it, we warp our strong fighters to Nodion to take on the newly invading Mackily troops, then just a straight war/march to Agustry.



So Barhara (capital of Grandbell if I didn't mention it somewhere in this Photobucket tower) is still being prickly and orders Sigurd stays his p***y in smelly old Evans.



And he gets to keep some p***y on his own. wink Don't worry, it's all canon, so I can say that!



Hrrrrrrgh, can't people just shut up and be happy in politics?! mad



Oh, they burned the Grandbell flag, it's on, Agustry, it's on.



I guess just to throw that "old King syndrome" that Verdane suffered into Agustry?



Looks like a p***k already who will most definitely cause us trouble sooner or later.



You know what that means..



PRICKS AND HOESSSS! Oh, and that ugh looking man towards the right, EWWWWWWWWW.



Hi Eltshan, I sure hope I don't get raped by your Mistoltin! 4laugh



Oh, he better listen to Eltshan for his sake and my sake! mad



Baby, it's FE4, of course the King got killed by his most trusted man. Soon grade 10 English will read the script to it rather than read Macbeth.



Who are without a doubt, the most frustrating thing to deal with in FE4 (by the way, ******** the Knight Ring anyone who played it, I didn't get it in this runthrough because I am not a haxx tactician. mad )



And with Lachesis's cryptic name drop (does anyone actually do that IRL?), he heads on his way to the capital of Agustry.



Oh man, you wish people in video games can get to the point as fast as Eltshan can. heart



And here comes the scandals...



Well, there goes any chance of peaceful negotiations. :/



-cough-Mistoltin-cough- oh excuse me!



Yes, Boldo, not the crusader Baldo. And yes, Nodion, you know where this is going..
Lachesis: Help us Sigurd-Kinobi, you're are only hope!



I'm not really sure Grandbell likes crappy Agustry television shows, but try, my good corrupt king, try, Sigurd will censor/banhammer your a**.



Not this butthurt again. D:<



Why does everyone always manage to forget about Sigurd? gonk



Meanwhile in Nodion:
PS: Lachesis and Ugly Seth Eve used those exact words when Eltshan got pulled over driving drunk without a license.



Who wouldn't want to marry you? redface



Well, someone likes to scream her brother's name when they shouldn't. gonk



Oh sad there goes me and all the male's hope of loving a perfect woman..



Well, that's a good place to put an army: in the middle of nowhere. :/



Ie: Three soldiers.



PS: This game has a thing with trios of siblings who look exactly the same for whatever reason.



Good God, their Mother and Father have to be the most uncreative people in this world (next to me). D:



Meanwhile in Butthurt Town, it seems that predictions DO come true more often than not.



And back in Evans because no one can stand Elliot for prolonged amounts of time.



YAYWARZFORSEXYWOMEN! heart



Azel and Alvis anyone? =o Only Eltshan and Lachesis are just a bit more creepy than our favourite Fala Bros.



-cough-Mistoltin-cough-, oh, this cold I have is just the worst!



EWWWWWWWWWWWWW, Dierdre, now be a good girl and not get in our way. mad



Cancel that. : (



Then she pulls this and sucks her way into the army. D:<



Meanwhile, Ethlin is having fun raping people in the arena as usual. 4laugh



As I said before, all she wants to see is a dead body, can't you for fill her wish? D<



And no, Ethlin did not hire him as a prostitute, she's just not that kind of lady!



You saying Ethlin fighting you and kicking your a** wasn't real? mad



After wiping Holyn's blood off her, she stops and has a lovely chat with Dierdre.



In which he's all the Hell the way in Nodion by now whilst she takes her not so lovely dismounted a** time to get there.



Eh, I suppose Dierdre isn't THAT bad.. heart



LIGHT SABER FOR ETHLIN, AW YEAH! cool



If by good use, you mean decapitating things at a range, then yes, yes she will. <3



Hrrrgh, armies, Eltshan should have killed him in Verdane when he had the chance ):<



Oh, she won't be "jerking you" anytime soon where you're going. cool



I dunno.. call for Sigurd's help who is like five steps away from her? :/



Then Eltshan will find out and Mistoltin rape you. 4laugh



Cute, three bosses to fight all at once, you're just so silly, FE4! 4laugh



And in Aphony, the King pulls the biggest "******** off" moment in FE4 EVER. gonk



And being a completionist... sad



And yes, they're neutral, you can't kill them even if you managed to get them before they got to the villages. D:



FE4 laws say not on our side. D:



Eh, at least he's nice and doesn't rape us for the time being..



Right, so Princess Lachesis, easily the greatest character in these chapters. Sure Ethlin may be underrated, but this girl, well, she's let's just say.. stupidly broken when she promotes (+7 Str promotion gain, ******** yeah!). Right now, she's weak and can only use swords (sexy women + swords = very sexy woman) and staffs.



Then Lachesis's handy man, Eve, he's meh, makes a good decoy.



REAL CREATIVE IS. :/



Manly Axefighter triplets are a definite yes, but ugly Pally triplets? No, no, no. mad



Then our current threat, are those Long Arches I see? Yes, yes they are, only they're pathetically weak in FE4 and can barely scratch people like Aideen for the love of God.



The butthurt's back waiting for more sword insertion, only he's not getting some manly Mistoltin through him, rather some Silver or Steel through him.



See his skill he has? Yeah, that's the biggest pain in the a** skill in FE4. gonk



The castle is ironically not guarded, so easy rapeage from whoever gets there first.



Then Elliot's father, he's just a wee bit more badass than his son.



W-what?! We're at Nodion defending them already?!



Light saber'd!



Brave Axe rape plzkthx. mad



And we interrupt Lex raping the generic boss for a recruitment scene!



That's WHY were here, Lachesis. :/



Blah, blah, blah, rehash of everything.



By peace you know what that means of course. Mistoltin



By now, Lex has already weakened the generic boss for Ethlin to Light Saber so let's see Dew get down some more lady's dresses, shall we?



I wouldn't say "tear" by any means, but if by tear into bad guys, you mean their money pouch, then sure!



Like tickle the enemy instead of hurting them?



How the hell did Lachesis even know who Dew was in the first place? confused



Well, that was a short military skirmish, buddy, you should probably give your Long Arches actual arrows instead of pillows, just sayin'.



Then I forgot to cap his death quote, so now we're inside Hierhein.



Luckily I got to Heirhein before they were unsaveable. heart



By that he means like three turns. gonk



But Sigurd's army isn't going to be the ones who save the villages. wink

And there is my massive update/tower, hope you enjoyed it and are enjoyed even more at Elliot's death! Tune in next chapter for spoony bards, generic slutty but awesome Dancers, more death and not agony and village raids!

You give the Elite Ring to Finn? Although I do admit, Duke Knight class is pretty badass, I like to give it to Lachesis to make Chapter 3 a little less painful. D:

Oh, okay, that works better, I mean Lachesis has staffs to abuse, no need for her to interfere with other people's battle Exp. For the Pally trio, my problem is I don't really understand their AI, like do the become suicidal if they enter the range on the enemies, or?... If you haven't seen me gloat about on FEF, I'm not the greatest FE4 player (although I love it with all my heart), and any advice I can get is very helpful to me for future runthroughs.

Chapter XIV: Was Lady Macbeth a Chocolate Bar?

Holy holepunch, Nom, you were totally right about the Pally Trio's AI, now I totally know how to do it in case I'm up for a sixth playthrough sooner or later.



Right, forgot to cap Holyn's picture, so I took it on my recent playthough. He has Moonlight Sword which unlike Ayra's Shooting Star Sword, it just ignores enemy's Def, Shooting Star Sword is sexier. <3



And almost my sanity, I swear stopping those Thieves is the worst part of FE4. D:



Fun fact: for Shagaal to get over to Macbeth, he'd need to cross the battlefield that I totally dominated. : D



Hrrrrrgh, I suppose you probably know by now, as soon as you seize a castle, the next one right next to it decides to be pricks on THE next turn. D:



Yeah, yeah, yeah, get in line with all the other pseudo philosopher/mercenaries, Arngrim is the only cool wanna be philosopher/mercenary. mad



Especially with you guys being so whorish for money, like all I'll need to do is wave 10,000 gold in front of one of your faces and I'll be a big sausagy dog fight. <3



Maybe yet a ranged weapon, then we'll talk..



With that, our silly mercenaries run away leaving a poorly armed castle for the magic rape taking.



Come next turn, we are treated to a pleasant surprise for once.



Rehash of the Macbeth guy, geez, how do the NPCs know these things? D:



You will be doing no such thing sir, there are villages to be saved! D:<



Such as the generic village amount of 5,000 gold? =o



Damn Brits and their awkward intimate wording. mad



That's what most people do when they hire prostitutes.



But dis woman wants more bandsongs than ever, and oh boy is she going to get it one way or another. D:



Crying is a very powerful tactic, ladies, if you ever find yourself in the world of Jugdral, just cry, you'll totally beat the game.



gonk Don't worry, she gets better, more sexy phrases later on.



In which he's talking about Ugly McUgly of Mckilky who has a Sleep Staff with 100% hit rate. mad



HOLY SHITTY CRIPES! gonk



You just like to overwhelm me with stuff FE4 emo whilst I rescue villages and fight Macbeth's army.



PRINCE LEVIN?! The plot thickens ladies and gentlemen..



Meanwhile, whilst everyone is on the frontlines, Arden fell grossly behind and is now chilling at a beach.



Say that to Noishe too. stare



Gentlemen: Ladies go crazy for guys who know Pursuit, make sure you learn it some time!



I know I pick up dirty old discarded accessories off the street and put them on. =o



Well I'll be darned, convenience even affects SRPGs.



Meanwhile, it seems Mckily soldiers are being possessed by the dark lord, Lopto.



Ain't a man alive who can take him? Pfft, he probably lives in an old folk's home then. talk2hand Elite Ring, FTW!



For such a badass name, he isn't that great, although it is fun to watch him get into a Pursuit/Continue war with people every now and then.



A General with the Great Shield AND Shield Ring? Now you're just overkill you giant p***k. mad



I do love Dancers in this game, but I really don't enjoy using her too much, I'll tell why later. D:<

-I forgot Levin's portrait? Pfft, I'll show you him at a more sexier time (starts with an H and ends with a y and adds +20 Spd, anyone? heart )



Such as killing all the lords of Agustria but him? heart



Well, Manfroy is sort of running around amok ya' know.



As I said, Manfroy is currently in Agustria, I don't even-.



BURN MANFROY! BURN MANFROY! twisted



Despite having to take on over 9,000 Free Knights, they are weaker than Long Arches and rather have sexy pillow fights than use actual swords.



I should have made Finn or Lachesis kill him, but I didn't know Shooting Star Sword was going to trigger or not. mad



And Sigurd does his usual scandalous thing and hires a manly prostitute.



...I-I don't know what to say about this part. redface



Stop. You're making me hot with all these sexy weapons. heart



Uh, they're sort of all in Issac/Prison.



Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure he can save himself anyway. mad



Which is a Cutter which trollfaces armoured units.



Oh laud, ain't it the truth? gonk Most of serenesforest.net forums totally agree with me on this one. D:



Now, if you're apparently amazing like me and save the a*****e Village, you get a Discount Ring, FTW!



For getting slapped about with Ayra's Shooting Star Sword? 4laugh



And our lady has reached Lv. 20, sadly by not killing people, but who cares? Lv. 20 baby!



Whilst Ethlin is getting promoted, possibly Azel (?) kills the whore of this castle who made me rage via Thieves, good riddance! :3nod



Somewhere in there Midir fell in love with Aideen, right now, all it does it give them actual odds to Critical (or just in Midir's cases, staffs can't critical, silly!), but as the story progresses, I'll tell you what else lovers do. heart



Err, that was Sylvia's job, anything to keep her away from men as her ovaries are apparently rotten if any veterans of this game get my riff.



But Levin ain't lovin' this whole war chain thing.



Blah, blah, blah, war is tough for citizens, it's why I'm paying 119.9/L on my gas, and so on and so forth.



If we weren't being pulled around by Barhara, then totally, Levin!



Unless you want me to put it back in. redface



SO THAT'S WHY WE'RE FIGHTING LEVIN, HONESTLY! mad



So then he tells us to stick around, I don't even-.



Naw, he was just yanking Sigurd's chain, war is cool even if it eats my wallet/bank account! 4laugh



Isn't it just silly how Sigurd knew Levin's name .5 seconds ago and forgot it? heart



Anyway, with that confusion outta the way, we finally take this Hellhole.



Ah, the usual hope rape of seizing a castle.



Look, that picture of Sigurd watering his garden in a bathing suit whilst Beowulf was spraying him with water is just Photoshopped! And tell Langobart and Reptor to stop talking s**t me capturing little Issacian boys/Princes whilst you're at it. mad That does NOT mean I'm planning on overthrowing Grandbell just because of it.



I'm sure they'd do well in one of those "People Today" magazine, maybe they can actually convince society the Oprah is a lesbian.



Still doing fab, Sigurd. <3



It also seems Prince Kurth is having problems with the ladies, pfft, any lady would go crazy for Kurth's Narga blood. mad



And here we go with some scandals and pretty things like that. <3



Back when big sunglasses were cool and Divo dominated the radio stations with their cool, kinky synthetic rock.
But in all honestly, it's just Cigyun having fun being a p***s and getting abused by her husband, the Duke or whatever of Velthome (and yes, Velthome, therefore Cigyun is Alvis's mother, DUN DUN DUN), then she has an affair and sleeps with Kurth to spew out Dierdre.



And with that, he takes leave, THANKS FOR THE PLOT PROGRESSION! Did I mention somewhere else that Cigyun is Alvis's mother and Dierdre's too?

Tune in next chapter for more ugly people, small castles, more sexy pillow fights and ugly staffs!

This is a complete runthrough already (beat it, uploaded it, etc), but I did know about the secret events, mainly because I am a bad boy and raided serenesforest.net for a week or so and lurked on the forums for any advice I could take. Of course I payed in aces when I clicked on a spoiler topic I'm sure you can imagine what I clicked on, and I was totally believing myself that my friends were lying about that part to me. D: Anyway, I tend to forget about those events (worst case is when I forget to pick up Holsety gonk ) and you reminded me to screencap Dew getting the Wind Sword in my current playthrough as I forgot in my LP one.

Chapter XV: Welcome to McKily, Want Your Ugly Supersized or Just Ugly in General?



Right, so where we last left off, we just took Anphony and now all the soldiers are making their way back to fortify Nodion because Aideen was too lazy to warp them all back to Evans, and along the way Beowulf stopped to have a "pleasant" conversation with Lachesis.



However, Lachesis takes no s**t from mercenary men, no sirree.



That's why Lachesis is out here, now go back home and be a garden man. 4laugh



Oh he's just asking for some Silver Sword through him that Ethlin gave to her as she has a light saber to use now. mad



AND THE SCANDALS CONTINUE WITH THIS MAN. Soon he'll be hitting up Ethlin talking about how he had a one night stand with Cuan.



I'm not sure how it works, but he's apparently good pals with Eltshan, they never really say to the best of my knowledge.



Eh, extra stat bonuses for Lachesis, I guess he's not THAT bad.



Well, you are in our way, McUgly. mad And with that, he totally whips up an army to attack us out of nowhere.



Anyone remember her like a billion chapters (two) ago? Well, she finally is getting back into business. Sheesh, and I thought Jamka and I were the biggest procrastinators this world has seen!



And as you can see, Mr. p***k here has totally just caused us trouble, he's not captured by Evans, just more of Warped there by Aideen. mad



Shagaal is right there, Fury, for your sake. Sigurd has a nasty rage face you know.



Surprisingly, there's quite an abundance of stupid people in this game. mad Eww, Calvary.



McUgly's army, unlike Hierhein however, those Long Arches are actually sort of a threat.



Just because he has the Sleep Staff with 100% hit rate that he likes to put people asleep right in the Long Arches's path for like six turns of constant barrage. gonk Trying to rush the Long Arches? Good luck with that, the only path to them is a long mountain trail that he'll just put the guy climbing it to sleep anyway. mad



Not really relevant right now, but here's Agustria's current army, only the Social Knights/Pallies and Fury's squad move though.



And just to trollface you, the boss here is protected by Long Arches which aren't really a threat here anyway.



Only he's a p***k because he has a Libro Staff that heals from afar. mad Other than that, Master Jedi Ethlin and Azel to the rescue as he doesn't have any ranged troll faces to hit you with!



Meanwhile, it seems that Sylvia has finished saving the villages and is conversing/pestering Sigurd.



However he wants none of this, DAMN IT DIERDRE, YOU'RE MAKING SIGURD BORING! mad



And ladies and gentlemen, the greatest quote in Fire Emblem history. lol



Because only smart people like tits. cool



Different plans of assault, FTW! But still fails because Sigurd is totally in love with women he meets in the forest more than crazy women he meets on the trail to McKily.

By the way, she has other conversations with men, but they cause love points for her and the men, which is the last thing she needs. gonk If it bugs you that much, you can go read the script yourself, serenesforest.net has the entire script on their website. mad



On the other side of the battlefield, it's much less calmer as Finn and Cuan are busy screwing around like usual.



Of course anyone who played at least three seconds of Fire Emblem should know how broken the game is now that I just got this. heart



On the actual battlefield however, it seems Fury is a bit of a dunce and is attacking her Prince.



After seeing Levin totally decimate her squad she stops for a moment and thinks, "HMM, ONLY PEOPLE FROM SILESIA CAN USE ADEPT WIND MAGIC, I WONDER..."



Eh, then again, his turban thingy is a good disguise, I guess..



Basically, like any other Prince of Damcyan, he just wants to have fun and party and not be there when his castle gets bombed.



Then a rehash of why she attacked Levin for the lulz.



Fury: "HA, I LOVE THAT SHOW! WHERE'S THE CAMERA?"



That's WHY she just came from the capital CITY of Silesia you know. :/



And she's not lovin' this whole secret woman thing that you guys are totally loving, by the way, NO I will not pair Sylvia with Levin. mad



Nooooooo! We just were starting to have fun raping things with the hilariously overpowered Wind Magic that FE4 and 5 boasts! D:



Gosh, you'd think they'd find Levin a bit earlier.



And she starts to cry, you all know what that means..



Yup, Fury just won the game with the secret FE4 weapon, Guilt Trip.



Well, he sort of did have two years to do that sort of thing, but whatevz, I ain't complainin', just mean more Levin rapeage for me!



Fun fact: We have a total of a whole six women by now and two are already married.



I think her and Ethlin would make the best of friends along with Lachesis. wink



I dunno Levin, I think she could use some wtfhaxx of Aira, classiness of Lachesis and pwn of Ethlin.. heart



Naturally I pair the two in this runthrough, CANONESS, FTW!



Right, Fury, unlike other Pegasus Knights in the series, she can totally be put into a swarm of enemies thanks to her haxx Def for a Pegasus Knight and even more haxx skills that let her attack a shitload of times.



Greatest.Mage.Everrrr! (so far), with major Sety blood, he can dodge just about everything the game throws at him and not to mention he can equip every single wind magic available (which is the strongest magic in FE4 and 5).



Here comes the rape faces. gonk



OH YOU SON OF A b***h! mad Eh, at least he didn't put any squishy units asleep this time.



Lolbishopbosses.



Don't you forget about me, don't don't don't don't~. Just in case anyone likes 80s music. <3



b***h, now Aideen learned trollface! heart



And just for some karma on these sluts for sniping at Cuan whilst he naps and gets arrows shot at him.



However, before Sigurd has the time to take McKily, it seems that Fury would like to have a word with him seeming as all the Long Arches are dead.



It looks like someone's a bit behind in the times. mad



Afterall, not everyone has the balls to troll Sigurd about war and lulz at him like Levin did.



Because that's what Princes do, Mr. Sigurd, Princes have their urges every now and then to get with a commoner.



Despite Levin's horniness, there really is a deeper reason, but that's to come later.



She's way ahead of you Sigurd cool in fact, she just came back from crashing the arena.



Oh you silly boy, Armours are nothing in this game compared to Shooting Star Sword and just a general Lex rape. 4laugh



That's right, Sigurd bears no respect to his invading monarchs. cool



Look out King Shagaal, we're on your a**!

Next Chapter- More Lopto faggotry, semi plot twists, betrayal/loyalty to one's nation, OH SHI- moments and more Agustry funness.

I know, I just want to say big of a pain in the a** Reptor, Ishtar and Alvis are to fight without Holsety. gonk I am guilty of making Ethlin hold the Pursuit ring every now and then just for some light saber rapeage (it's not like Leaf won't like it if Ethlin reaches Level 30 anyway) and I totally do the whole Elite Ring arena chains, most of the time, my Lachesis busts out her level 30 skills by the start of Chapter 4.
EDIT: I went with the recommended pairing serenesforest.net gives because this was my second playthrough.
AideenxMidir
AiraxHolyn
LachesisxBeowulf
SylviaxHer fingers
FuryxLevin
TiltyuxAzel
BriggidxDew
although I am currently in my current playthrough going to try out
AiraxLex (Elite, FTW!)
LachesisxFinn (Nanna and Delmud get bonus stats apparently)
SylviaxClaude (I heard this is the best chance of Corple not sucking)
FuryxAzel (Sety with Pursuit and high fire magic)
TiltyuxLevin (Early Holsety rapeage and a mounted Holsety raper later on)
BriggidxHolyn (Moonlight Sword on Patty and Ichival with Moonlight Sword)

All right I know I can give some comments on some of these. FuryxLevin of course is a major win. TiltyuxAzel brings forth great mages that you will fall in love with if you are a mage lover. LachesisxBeowulf...if you love killing things, then you love this pairing. Oh man will Delmud be AMAZING here. As for Nanna, well...she has her moments. AyraxLex: This I have to say is the BEST pairing for her. Tank swordmasters that get more power than they need. We are talking flying meteor swords since they get amazing skill. Add in the defense bonus of Minor Neir...you have a great pair that level up thanks to Lex's Elite.