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 Posted: Sat Jan 01, 2011 9:50 pm
oh ! well good. i just re-read it and it said "for a week."
im so sorry for that whole paragraph. i am a derp OTL /fail
well even with what you just said, how could he be helpful if he's suspicious of the people he's helping? it just doesn't make much sense ...
perhaps you could alter it so that he's only suspicious of certain kinds of people? i think the real issue here is that he's afraid of people which means eventually he can't help them. if he only hated say, girls, or something, then it would get rid of that problem for the most part.
i dunno, im just throwing ideas out here for ya. choose what you'd like o v o
hmm really ? o 3o
i wouldnt know, i dont have those types of problems xDD
good to know <3
well then you still can have controversy i think. what if a good friend takes up the talent of say ... sword eating (oh gosh hyperbole xD). does he freak out that his friend might get hurt? or does he think its the coolest thing ever o 3o
maybe im overanalyzing this, but i just like to nitpick through everything > u<
as for the good mood thing, if he doesn't see that pretty penny, what kind of gloomy does he go into though? does he become super depressed and mopey, or is he just the normal "im not feeling good today mannnn D:" you said he was based off an emo-esque character, so im just wondering the level of gloom he sinks into o v o
ILL MAKE TALIA SAY IT TO HIS FACEEE. /shot
just kidding, she would never.
well maybe.
and good. <3
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Posted: Sat Jan 01, 2011 10:59 pm
yeah, i tried making the suspicious part clearer, the nicer someone is to him, the less he trusts them.
grumpy, mean, rude, or generally unfriendly he trusts more actually, because 'at least they dont pretend to like me' XDDDDD
O__O actually he was terrified of girls in the older setting, you must be psychic! but i took that out because i don't want to cut down his rp options that drastically
i re-wrote a bit of that part, and a few other areas trying to convey things more.
i'll have another stare at the 'youre the best' part, it's one of the new parts i tacked onto him for this rp setting. X)
um, the good mood thing, i'm not sure. i dont want him to be a big debbie downer in rps if the day isn't going his way, and i'm sure other people don't want it either. sweatdrop
WHYyyyyyy gonk
---
tweaked/heavily edited the wording in a good deal of virtues and one or two flaws.
i still need to look at the 'you're the coolest' but right now i need sleep. biggrin D
o
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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 10:24 am
Re-writing and re-working easily impressed. trying to avoid turning it into a flaw gonk
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 5:45 pm
two new virtues, determined and caring. Lemme know how you think they work please! surprised
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 1:08 am
i re-built michaels virtues and flaws from scratch, and changed him into a corrupted sailor senshi.
looking for crits on his new virtues/flaws, i prefer them much more to his older ones, they are much less complicated and self-contradictory. smile
also re-did the character art because why not
--
i'm not sure about two things
1) should i change his senshi name, since i want him to have been corrupted from the start?
2) should i write a 'why the negeverse' mini blurb? in my mind the negaverse would corrupt any unawoken senshi they found, to convert them to an ally rather than someone to fight later.
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 1:38 am
Hi amicableAggressor,
I think that Michael would make an interesting corrupt senshi and I like his new virtue & flaw-set.
Something that came to mind when reading through the senshi attacks:
I'd check with a mod to see if the potential side effects of the super attack is something that'd be allowed. The inability to remember certain names, general forgetfulness etc lingering after battle seems pretty strong to me
For the eternal attack, I'm not sure it'll be allowed to have an attack that can potentially will dehensin a senshi so I'd run that through a mod too
When getting crits on Athene's attacks Akina suggested putting how many times he could use an attack per battle - it might be useful for Michael too. Maybe also add in time durations
For your two questions:
1) I think senshi who are corrupted from the start get mineral names like other negaverse officers
2) A 'why the negeverse' mini blurb never hurts smile
Hope some of this helps
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 1:50 am
hm, no one had mentioned that yet. (apart from one girl who thought it was permanent memory loss)
the super attack is supposed to be very weak, i should specify that the things the forget are non-important to the characters, like say being unable to recall the name of your 5th grade teacher, or forgetting where you put a pencil down a moment ago. it's supposed to be more of a minor nuisance than debilitating.
i'll have a look over them again, and i plan on asking for a mod crit soon,
yeah it makes sense and i saw a few corrupted who had mineral names.
thanks for the crit! surprised
---
debuffed super and eternal attacks, more precisely defined usage of all three. smile
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 9:34 am
Being the player of a senshi corrupted from day 1, I can help a bit!
Corrupted senshi who are corrupted into the Negaverse do have a mineral name, as they cannot remember their senshi name. They don't lose their memories of their life before the corruption; otherwise, their mechanics are pretty much the same and they function very similarly to normal corrupted senshi with the massive auras. =)
<3 It looks pretty good so far!
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 10:38 am
Just a tiny little thing - while the name Lazurite isn't taken, Lazulite is. They are different minerals (I checked just to make sure) but it's only a one-letter difference in their names, and the powered-up names at that... So I dunno. You might want to think about a back-up name just in case someone asks you to change it.
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 2:30 pm
@shibrogane: yeah, i was reading about that .... somewhere in the guild. apart from the mineral name part. thanks! biggrin
@zero: awww shuckles. i searched it on the master list but i forgot to search for similar names. well i'll keep looking then smile
--
Changed to Limonite, which reflects him as it isn't a true mineral, and he isn't a true negaverser. I like how that works. biggrin
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 5:37 pm
I can easily be corrected here by a staffer if I'm wrong, but I think that the concept of loss as in 'loss of memory' is oblivion, which is a reserved or off-limits sphere gonk The Space Cauldron Taken/Uncool Spheres:Some power spheres are no-nos- be they things we are going to use in the future, original scout power spheres, or just far too powerful. These are some of them: * Memory * Oblivion
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 5:51 pm
The Professional Prophet I can easily be corrected here by a staffer if I'm wrong, but I think that the concept of loss as in 'loss of memory' is oblivion, which is a reserved or off-limits sphere gonk The Space Cauldron Taken/Uncool Spheres:Some power spheres are no-nos- be they things we are going to use in the future, original scout power spheres, or just far too powerful. These are some of them: * Memory * Oblivion i haven't had complaints so far, and that has been one of his powers from the beginning so it's been up here for a while. i'll see if its a problem when i post for a mod review soon. smile
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 6:25 pm
Just for the sake of not muddying the waters, we do ask that people stay away from any and all strictly memory-based attacks!
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 7:45 pm
The Space Cauldron Just for the sake of not muddying the waters, we do ask that people stay away from any and all strictly memory-based attacks! none of his attacks are strictly memory-based, they are all disruption attacks. the memory thing is supposed to be more of a small side-effect, reflecting the loss theme. is that what you mean? or just any attack with anything at all relating to memory is a no? XD sorry but it's still a bit unclear
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