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 Posted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 3:20 am
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Posted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 3:21 am
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Posted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 3:22 am
Chapter 1
((Note: “Oeru txoa livu, Eywa," means "Forgive me, Eywa."))
“Oeru txoa livu, Eywa,” Indómerun’s mind cried. His eyes were pressed closed tightly, as he considered what was to be done. Memories were apart of existence as a Na’vi, the past was something worthy of remembering. But the memories that flooded his mind, were not as Eywa wanted things to be remembered. They were tainted, the edges of the memories crimson with anger…with pain…with misunderstanding.
This was not the way to remember, to feel. It had affected him, he had been unable to tsaheylu, his anger had once been too great to share his emotions with another soul under the great Eywa. Unbidden, his mind would wander back to Vanlanthiriel taking his friend, his best friend’s hoof, as she lead him beneath the Tree of Voices. There they had become mates, had performed tsaheylu--there she became lost to him forever.
His voice had failed to find the words to tell her, that he loved her. That he was the one that needed her and not…not HIM. But, his tongue remained silent, his body as still as stone…Though, his mind screamed that he should have been the one connected to her, knowing every memory every feeling of her, he had not been able to say it.
The pain had been too much to bear, too much to watch them. The looks on their faces shone with the same expression as all the other ones with mates, the look of a secret shared, but it was more than that. It was everything shared, there was no separation, no divide between them.
These memories he gave to Eywa beneath the Tree of Souls. He needed to be at one with Eywa, to let her know what he had taken so long to realize. “Oeru txoa livu, Eywa,” Indómerun’s mind cried. “I had loved her, I had pushed you aside for her. I had performed sacrilege in my heart, I am not worthy of advising when I could not advise my own heart against this. I could not love her, because loving her more than you is sacrilege--the only way I had loved her. Oeru txoa livu…”
He could feel Eywa’s forgiveness. It had been a hard lesson learned, a lesson to make him a better Adviser…a better soul. “Give me strength Eywa. Keep me true, let my anger burn away. Never let me be lost to you again.”
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Posted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 3:23 am
Chapter 2
It was dark, and the fireflies were just starting to glow. The evenings were warm still though it was fall. And love, it was everywhere…except for with Indomerun. The festering sore that was left of his heart still beat. It still held his existence, but that was all. He was trying to refocus his life to Eywa. He needed to be better…
But to cast aside the idol whom he’d worshipped for years…It was too difficult yet. He found himself gazing at her far too long, and far too often. It wasn’t right. And he could not allow it any longer. Shutting his eyes, he took a deep breath before he approached Vanlanthiriel.
“I need to leave.”
“What?” She set down the book she held in her hand, “Why?” She sat down laboriously, her swollen belly getting in the way.
He couldn’t look at her, so he kept his eyes away. It was still too painful to know that she carried someone else’s child, his best friend’s child. “I need to leave, to find myself again.”
“You’re lost?” Her brow furrowed trying to look at him.
“Don’t.” His voice was pained, much more pain that it should have been. More pained than he would have ever admitted. “Don’t’ say it like that. You know why.”
“I thought, I thought we were past this Indo,” she rubbed her belly absently. “I thought we could all be friends again.” Her voice was pained, and tired.
“I thought so too, but I can’t…not now.”
“Is it…the pregnancy?” She avoided the word child, she knew he couldn’t handle that.
“Yes,” the word was torn from his lips. “I wanted it to be okay. I wanted to be happy, but I can’t. That’s why I need to go. I can’t be like this, can’t feel like this. I’m not doing or being who I should be.”
Vanlanthiriel rubbed her belly again, “I understand. But will you come back?”
“Maybe.”
“I loved you once….” she let her voice die away.
“Don’t say that. I can’t bear it.”
She turned her face away, hiding the tears that so easily sprung to her eyes nowadays. “Don’t leave me forever.”
Indomerun turned away from her, “It’s best I leave now, I can’t stay a minute longer.” Taking a few steps, he paused. “You can’t have us both. The decision is made, you chose him.”
Vanlanthiriel shouted and Indomerun’s retreating back, “I chose you both! I chose his love and your friendship! Why couldn’t that be enough?”
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Posted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 4:17 am
Chapter 3
Indomerun felt lost out by himself. He had lived his whole life in one place with his people, but now that life was lost to him. He could not stay another moment. He doubted, in his heart of hearts, that he would ever be able to go back.
Days fled into weeks, weeks into months as he put distance behind him. He stayed off to himself not interacting with others at all. He tried to find comfort in his solace, he tried to pray to Eywa for a path--for guidance. But Eywa had seemed deaf to his pleas as though she had turned her back on him.
Indomerun sighed deeply and closed his eyes again. What use did it do to pray? But he did it nonetheless, he prayed for help and for guidance. He wanted to stop feeling so lost.
He could not love her all his days, there had to be more to it than that. She could not be his only love--she could not be his great love, he was just too blinded to it to see.
Tired didn't even cover how tired he was. His very bones were weary of this journey. Some nights he wanted to lie down and not get up, but he knew that was not the will of Ewya. It was not enough to just try and then admit defeat. He had to go on and on, this was a test of his faith he was sure of it.
His faith had been tested a lot of late, he didn't know how much more he could take. But he had to. He had to succeed. He needed to work through this, keep to his faith.
He prayed again feverently, but he did not receive an answer until another month had passed.
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Posted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 4:18 am
Chapter 4
Savannah wove a knot and then examined her work. Knots were the markings of life, the in's and out's the oddities. They were represenative of life's journey and how everything was tied together. She wondered what the knot of her life looked like? How many twists and turns had she been through already, and how many more were to come?
But the knot was everending, but her life was not. There would come a time under the sky that she would face that ending. She would come full circle and end where she began. She didn--
Her head snapped back and she looked over her shoulder at the sound of hooves. "Who's there?" she asked gently.
For a moment he hesitated longer. He was not really ready to meet anyone, not yet--maybe not ever. But it would be passing strange to just walk off now. He stepped into the light, "I'm sorry for bothering you." His voice was hoarse from long unuse.
"It's no matter if you come in peace," she sized him up warily. "You're all twists and turns. Full of knots and furrows."
"I'm what?" He blinked at her words. He coughed to clear his sore throat.
"Your life, your body. There's an aura, a feeling about you. We're all knots ont he great tapestry," she motioned offhandedly at her side. "Life is a knot."
"Am I supposed to untie it then?" Was she giving him the answers to life?
"No," she smiled her bright eyes laughing. "No. What if the knot is all that holds you together? It's best to leave knots alone. You'll learn that as I did. You've been picking at them haven't you?"
The knots. He had in a way, this whole situation he'd picked it apart in his heart and mind over and over again. "Yes, I have. I just..."
"Can't leave it alone?" She asked gently.
He nodded. "I just--I'm sorry, I don't know you." He turned his face away, stopped the conversation.
"Doesn't matter," she shrugged her shoulders. "We're a knot you and I, though we don't know each other. But we're passing by each other in time and for a moment, or an hour at least our lives are intertwined. But the question is there."
"What question?" His head felt dizzy.
"How long does our path stay together? How soon does it part?"
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Posted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 4:19 am
Chapter 5
He learned her name was Savannah. It rolled off his tongue easily as water rolled off her back. She seemed impervious to everything. Nothing bothered her too long or too much. She was a free sort of being happy with herself and happy with others.
He, on the other hand, felt strange in her presence. It felt odd to be close to her, but he'd grown sick with a fever soon after he met her. She had nursed him back to health, singing soft lullabies of seas and adventures. At night he dreamed of them, of sailing the seas of exploring places unknown.
It took a week for his fever to break and then he was weak like a newborn foal. But she nursed him back to health with tenderness and care as though he was an old friend.
"Why?" He asked her over and over again.
"Our paths our together. It was fate."
"But why? I mean nothing to you."
"But you do, you are on my path. I cannot leave you behind. And why not? Why not help?"
He couldn't buffer that, he couldn't even think up a scenario to explain it.
His voice became more usable. After a while, they would talk for hours. She would go on and on in that strange round about way of hers and he would talk of whatever he wanted. She was a good listener, tying knots the whole while.
"Why do you do that?" He asked her after she'd listen to him talk about the journey that had brought him here.
She finished another knot, "I sell them as I need for food or the like. I give the rest away and tell the story of knots and love and life."
Everything about her was knots and love and life.
She took a strand of rope and made him watch, she wove his life--the paths and then she wove hers a ways. There was plenty of rope left, she wove the paths together for a bit and made a small knot.
"What's that mean?" He asked her.
She pressed her lips to his, "A lover's kiss."
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Posted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 4:20 am
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Posted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 4:21 am
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Posted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 4:22 am
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Posted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 4:23 am
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Posted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 4:24 am
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Posted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 4:25 am
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Posted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 4:27 am
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Posted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 4:28 am
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