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Criminally Seduced

Esuth twisted quickly, placing himself behind the Prince. Trapping his arms with habitual ease, he swung his tail around, the long spikes on the end just tickling the smaller man's throat.

"You've lost Na- Prince." Inwardly, he scolded himself, while remaining physically still. Only yesterday, he'd been scolded for his habitual familiarity with Ex'Narin. It was difficult, at times, to remember that the Prince wasn't a friend. He was a job, and Esuth was supposed to be guarding him. It didn't help that the Prince acted in the same manner, easy and familiar with all his personal guards.

"I am, indeed, lost to you, Di'Esuth." Ex'Narin never said what could be purred, never yelled what could be hissed.

Esuth lowered his tail at the oddly phrased submission, but the Prince lingered in his hold. Black scales against deep red, and the day's heat meant they were both too warm. Esuth stepped away.

"My Prince?" He asked, not sure exactly what he meant by the question. The distance helped with the heat. They'd been fighting most the morning, and even he was starting to feel the effects.

"I believe I'm tired of the sun." Ex'Narin sighed artfully, rolling his shoulders and tossing a brief glance at the sky. "Di'Meska, Di'Carel you may have the day. It's too hot for me to wish to wander off the grounds. Di'Esuth, as punishment for defeating me, you will stay. Mother would not like to see me completely unguarded. And, as usual, you prove yourself up to the task."

Meska and Carel grinned, more than happy to be released to the city. The duty of guarding the prince was an easy one, but having a day of free time was always nice. Saluting quickly, and tossing Esuth superior looks, they made their way toward the barracks.

"I do hope you don't mind." Ex'Narin set his fingers lightly on Esuth's arm, "But I do need an escort."

After over a year in court, Esuth still felt out of place. The language, the mannerisms, they were all so different. Ex simply didn't act the same way as Di, and sometimes, he felt like he was trying to learn a new language. Usually, the prince was different. Clearer, more direct. But lately-- lately Esuth felt like he was tripping over every word the slighter man said. He wasn't making any sense!

"Hell, there's always more time for the city." He replied, shrugging easily. It really wasn't a big deal. He'd been getting bored of all the sights recently. Restless. Staying with Ex'Narin would give him something to focus on, "I'd rather see you safe."

"How honorable." The response was dry, almost devoid of expression. They entered the palace, walking through the maze of hallways in silence. It was cooler inside. Ex'Narin's hand, still on his arm, felt hot.

The Prince's suite of rooms was huge, complete with pools and gently flowing fountains. Everything in shades of blue, to match his eyes. The Ex concept of beauty was overwhelming, and Esuth always found himself wishing for just an inch of empty wall space on which to rest his eyes.

"How is it that you're so much faster than me?" Ex'Narin asked, finally releasing his arm and standing so they faced each other. "You aren't built for it."

"It's not speed, it's prediction." Esuth relaxed as the question brought them to familiar ground. He could talk about fighting. He understood it. Ex'Narin's moods were much harder to deal with.

"So you know what I'm going to do before I do it?" He took a step forward, closing the distance between them enough to make the nearness uncomfortable. "What am I going to do now?"

"I-- it's not like that." He stepped backward, reopening the space between them, only to have Ex'Narin close it again. "Your body it-- says how you'll move, when we're fighting. Otherwise-- I can't read you at all." The words felt rough and awkward, and he knew he was almost stuttering. Something he never did.

"You keep forgetting to say 'My Prince'." Ex'Narin turned the subject abruptly, leaving Esuth even more lost. "You almost called me Narin earlier." The words, which should have been a reprimand, sounded amused.

"I-- I apologize My Prince. My manners have always been too rough for court. And--" He hesitated, but Ex'Narin's gaze demanded more from him, so that he found himself speaking without wanting to, "Sometimes I forget you are Ex. That we aren't friends."

"We aren't friends?" Another step forward, and now Esuth thought they must be breathing each other's air. His head spun with it.

"My Prince?" He backed away again, tripping over a step as he did so, and nearly losing his balance. In more ways than one, he was unsteady. And he had no pretty words to make things clear, "What are you doing?"

And Ex'Narin stopped advancing, placed his fingers between his eyes as if he had a sudden headache. His blue eyes, so bright only seconds ago, seemed dark again, as if he'd stepped into shadow.

"I am trying to seduce you. Though, obviously, I'm failing rather miserably at it." With that statement, he sat down where he was, sinking into the plush carpet and resting his head against his knees. His tail curled around his feet, creating the picture of sulky discontent.

Esuth was left without words. Seduce him? Was Ex'Narin MAD? Nevermind the attraction Esuth couldn't help feeling, Ex'Narin was Ex. And the Prince at that. And why would he bother? Esuth was just a soldier, like thousands of others. A good fighter, yes, but one face in a crowd. The Ex had people trained just in the arts of pleasure. Certainly the Prince could find softer hands to touch him.

Ex'Narin continued to sit, silent. Despite the soft music of birdsong and running water, the room was very quiet.

"If you want se-- company, I could have someone fetched for you." He offered. Old memories made it tempting to settle next to him, wrap an arm around his shoulders, if only in comfort. It seemed like an almost singularly bad idea, considering the situation. He stayed where he was. "My Prince."

"Oh, so now it's Prince." Ex'Narin was on his feet in one fluid, graceful movement. His hands were balled in fists, and Esuth felt himself tense at the threat there. The prince was not a bad fighter. And he was already tired from their earlier match. He didn't want more bruises, "Damn it Di'Es--. No! Esuth. Esuth, Esuth, Esuth! I am so tired of these restrictions! And if I wanted a pretty face to tell me how perfect I was, don't you think I could have gotten one myself?"

He turned away, sudden and sharp, his tail lashing behind him like a whip. Fists hit the marble walls hard, making dull sounds against the stone. Esuth could see his shoulders shaking. When he spoke again, the anger had gone out of his voice. The words were a whisper.

"You know, sometimes, when you talk to me, you treat me like you do Di'Carel or Di'Meska. No one treats me that way. No one calls me Narin. My mother doesn't even call me Narin. Can't I want that? Can't I want to just be Narin, just me, if only once in awhile?" He turned again, shoulders set, and stalked across the room toward Esuth. Once again, there was no room between them, "Can't you give me that much?"

He didn't know what to say, or even what name to call him by. Ex'Narin's gaze burned, with promise and pain and a loneliness that Esuth understood all too well.

Black scaled finger tips ran lightly over his hands, up his arms, brushing over his sleeves with only the slightest hint of pressure and coming to rest on the back of his neck. The Prince was shorter than him, but not by much. Only the slightest distance needed to be closed for their lips to touch.

Esuth closed it.

What else was there to do?

Autsu's Arrival

Four days. He hadn't slept in four days. And it didn't look like he'd be sleeping for a long while yet. Not, mind, that Sethos didn't help when he could, but Sethos's help just meant no sleep for the both of them. And it was bad enough suffering through it alone. Had his recent visit not reassured him, he would have been wondering if the Lady was angry with him. Instead, he had to admit it was simply life.

Anther scream, louder than the one that had woken him from the nap he'd attempted just an hour before. The new scream more full of panic than the last, already entering into the edges of hysteria. Autsu did not like waking alone.

"Hush. Come Darkling." Walking over to the bassinet he picked Autsu up, murmering soft words. Not baby talk, he thought that would only insult him, but quiet, gentle words. Soft reassurances. "I am here. You are never alone."

The screams settled a bit, losing the edge of hysteria, becoming angry instead of frightened. He prefered the boys anger, it was less heart rending than panic. Tiny wings fluttered in time with his squirming, but Kniene had learned better than to try and put him down. That only made it worse. Much, much worse.

"Lets warm you up some milk." Readjusting Autsu so the infants head was on his shoulder, he tried to ignore the furious teethless biting of his shirt. More distracting were the wings. Tiny things, but having them waving right under his nose was a bit much.

"Child, hear me. I understand that the languages we speak are seperate. When I first came to Gaia, it was a blessing of the goddess that allowed me to speak the tongue. I do not think she can do the same for you." As he spoke he worked on preparing Autsu's bottle, keeping his tone low and soothing, "But I am here for you. To aid you. I am-- your father, in all ways that matter, and I will do what I can. Your anger serves you little."

Autsu's screaming lowered to a whine. Maybe it was exhaustion, or the promise of food. Kniene wasn't crazy enough to think his words had any effect. But it was nice to see the infant calm.

"Come, Darkling. I have food. And then, perhaps we can both sleep."

Kniene stood on the porch, watching colour bleed into the sky. Autsu, who'd been struggling and fussing in his arms only a moment before, was quiet, and his gaze seemed to be on the sunrise as well. It felt like meaning, though he wasn't sure exactly what the meaning might be. Peace maybe. New chances.

New life.

What had led him to this? To a dark skinned baby who was growing out of his clothes too quickly and a tall, slender teenager, just learning to give voice to his thoughts. Both of them with the same haunted eyes. Both with secrets beyond his reach. Sethos hid his with his refusal to speak, Autsu with his inability. Though of late... of late the whimpers had begun to take a form like words.

And what of him? Kniene freed a hand to touch his forhead, an old habit, the sign of the Lady. How was he to heal their wounds, if he couldn't even heal his own? And he wasn't healed, not really. Oh, he loved his life on Gaia. Loved his boys, even the troublesome criminal in his arms.

But could that compare to the dance? The sound, the power, the life that was the Autumn Guard? What mortal smile could compare with the Lady's bittersweet expression?

Lady...

Sometimes he felt so alone.

Autsu twisted in his arms, those too clever eyes turning and meeting his own. And he knew, without question, that the former criminal understood the bright gleam of tears there. He saw the same shine in Autsu's eyes. The same memory of old wounds. Why was everyone he loved so broken?

"Together, son. We will mend. Together."

Silence. It wasn't so unusual, not with his brother watching him. His brother? Brother? He had come to understand many words and their meanings, though he still had a little trouble with others.

But he knew what brother meant, understood its equivilent in his own language.

Of course, he hadn't had any brothers.

But being a boy worked different here.

Brother.

He didn't hate them anymore, not the one called brother or the one called father. He could imagine them as captors, but they only showed kindness and love.

They weren't the ones responsible.

Narin was.

The queen was.

.... he was.

His own fault and failing, to fall in love so stupidly.

Brother?

Was this a family then? Could he accept that? There was no going back, and no escape. He would stay in this strange body, and grow slowly back to adulthood.

And he could hate them as he did it, but there was no reason. No fuel for such anger.

His anger... that was for what he'd left behind.

"Bro? We p'ay now?" He found himself speaking, standing carefully, so that his wings didn't overbalance him. "We p'ay catch."

Reaching out, he grabbed the other's hand, tugging hard and running in place. "We p'ay now!"

It seemed he was always full of energy. Like a child.

Which...

he was.

Mirror

Early morning, and Autsu was awake. He always woke early, earlier than his brother, though never quite as early as his father. Autsu had been a soldier, but 'ther had been a leader, and a leader must be the first of his people to wake, and the last to sleep. He had learned that from Narin.

It was too early to think of that, but it was in the mornings that he couldn't shake the memories. The mornings when the images still lingered from the night's dreams, and he could almost taste the air of home it was so close. Almost taste...

But wasn't he too young to be thinking such things?

Young. What a strange concept. Not that he'd been old when he'd... died? Hadn't he, in a way?

He wasn't made for such contemplation. He would get dressed, and go run. By the time this frail body collapsed, he would not be able to think.

So frail. There was a mirror in his room, he caught his own blue eyes, the expression in them disdainful. Slender little shoulders, delicate hands. There was no use pretending that he would grow to be strong. He did not have the build for it, and he would not develop the build for it. He would be tall and skinny.

He could train, still. He could train himself as he'd trained Narin. He had the build for it, or he would when he grew.

He had Narin's build. The thought hit him again, and he could not look away from the mirror.

No scales, of course. No tail. And the hair and wings were new enough to be distracting. But if he were to be his own kind again... if this body was to be remade to resemble his own kind...

He would be Narin.

Black skin. Blue eyes. Fragile, easily bruised skin streached over a delicate frame.

It could not have been an accident. Only deliberately could he look so very like his lover. What his lover might have looked like, if he had been born here, on Gaia.

The blue wings sagged, and Autsu(Esuth) found he could not remember the muscles to control them. He let his legs give way beneath him, those too long, too thin things meant to support him. He'd never been able to understand how Narin had fought as well as he did. He'd looked so delicate.

He remembered worrying, during sex, that he'd break him.

He didn't notice when his father entered. Didn't realize he'd been speaking until he heard the frantic edge to the man's words as he whispered reassurances.

"No. No. No. No. No. No. No." He heard himself then, the denial chanted over and over in horror filled tones. His father was holding him, and there was his brother, standing in the doorway, looking in with concern. "I'm fine. I'm a soldier. It is fine."

But they were just looking at him, and he realized that he wasn't speaking in their tongue, that his own language had come back to him and now refused to leave, so that he had to fight to remember the strange rhythms of their words, to find meaning in the sounds.

"'tsu, 'tsu what is it? Talk to me, my son."

"Fine." He forced the word out. "Please. Go. I am fine."

He was a soldier.

Had been a soldier.

He was fine.

Done writing, Autsu carefully addressed the envelope and gave it to his brother to mail.

Within was a letter to his comrade, the information he'd obtained from Archie attached.