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Chapter XII: Economy Inflation, Robberies and Used Underwear

So where we last left off I was crying about a mini game that wrecks me and my bad luck, we've long since then moved on to bigger and better things. Now we shall see what we've moved into.



As the NPCs bitched and moaned about, the village of Kazave was truly just north of Romaly.



Then the grand attraction, God, this is running so smoothly. heart



Yeah, yeah, the kind who defeated a grizzly with his bare hands (which Guv would have no problem doing himself.)



Naturally we're pricks, so we rob this mofo's grave.



Apparently we're not the only people who are on the hunt for this b*****d. Honestly, is there anyone in this world who has faith that we can get things done on our own? D:



Like any other Dragon Quest/Warrior game out there, the weapon/armour shop is too pricey to put good stuff on everyone. : (



So we do what we must do and scrounge up a crusty pair of underwear.



It's pretty bad for any DQ/W player if the Boxer Shorts actually boost your DEF instead of bringing it down. gonk



Ah, Noaniels, known for it's apparent residents who have a major faerie fetish..



Come nightfall, we continue where we left off in raiding the poor item shop keeper's valuables. 4laugh



Although he's pretty lame and gives us a dagger we'll immediately upgrade come next town and a srsly outdated Club.



Oh you card. cool



With our village raid in place, we return to Aliahan just to cash in our Mini Metals.



O laud I srsly love this accessory, it makes Roto into a tank who will no longer be going through mood swings.



Needless to say, Sexy has very sexy growth rates. cool



Right, so back with plot progression, to the west of Kazave lies Shampane Tower, remember? mad



Someone really needs to do a tower count for this game. gonk



After an anti-climatic climb of taking many wrong turns, actually falling off the tower for once, fuuuuu-'ing at it and raiding chests, we run into these Hassan wanna-be's. mad



Naturally, they run like pussies to their boss. D:



Then they do moar of their pussie work. D:<



I officially hate trap doors with a fiery passion. mad



So then we chase them up a flight of stairs, but I get tired of this s**t and hide under the table.



It never fails to ******** me of how they just sort of dissipate, they couldn't have jumped off as they are on the floor just below the one we fell to.



Yeah, yeah, don't mess with Steel Swords, Whips and Sexy Women. mad



I couldn't get a proper shot of his goonies cause when I remembered, Liam and Guv already killed them. lol



It's not over yet, we're head hunters. mad



Oh god no, we don't need him ******** our lives up later in the game. D:



But being the ancestor of Gwaelin, he pulls the "But thou must" loop on me. D<



Yeah, yeah, and he does later in the game...



But at least we now have a progression of plot...

Tune in next chapter for a definite dictatorship, disappointment, a town that is run like I am the mayor and racist faeries.

Chapter XIV: Wasting Time, Suicude and Subtle a**l References

So Roto, naturally being a good girl decides to save Noaniels for no reason at all, which led her to a bunch of racist faeries who sent her away, so with nowhere to go now, she and her companions head to the cave to the south.



Fgsfds, free Luck Seed farming if I was ever in the mood..



First western fork we take leads us to this guy, fun fact, there is no hot spring in this cave. mad



It's not hot spring, more of a floating crystal, but who cares, it restores HP! (Another fun fact: this is the only one of its kind in this entire game.) gonk



But at least I'm actually useful for a change!



We also found a pretty pimp accessory for me, but in this game, they change your personality, so we don't put it on me as the Sharp personality is equivalent to Roto's Sexy personality for spell casters. D:<



Upon opening a chest in the deepest parts of the dungeon yields us a talking treasure box of the Faerie Princess saying she committed suicide just cause. I guess she just didn't want to live as an outcast for marrying a human?



Upon telling the Faerie Queen about her daughter, she gets all butthurt and gives us this.



Then we go back to Noaniels and do this, and for some reason it gets all dark.



They just wanted the player to see the hard work they did on the dust effect. mad



O laud, then Dorothy, Toto and the Lion will wake up if any other nerd gets my reference. D:



Dragon Quest III- always on the side of reality. cool



So with our quest that yielded no results at all in place, we head off to "Ashalam."



Meet Ashalam, in the Warrior version, it was called Assaram. lol



Ie: Just a bigger, better, not so sexy desert town. D<



As most people know, any place called Assaram is going to scam you. mad



And do you know what we do?.. <3



I tell ya', if more than one person can fit in that bath house, then o laud, that would just be a casserole of doom in there. gonk



And the main attraction, full of pervs, touchy women and moar pervs. D<



Naturally because we're the heroes, we distract the s**t outta this place. 4laugh



Yeah, jeez Kang. mad



Sadly, that's all you see in Assaram if your hero is a girl, if he was a guy, a male puff puff and seductive dancers await the poor confused soul. Ooh, a temple, let's go in there!



FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! gonk

Tune in next chapter for more Pachisi horrors, deserts and sexy Queens who aren't Roto.

Oh laud, you really can, I did not know about this! Although I'll post it after Dharma, cause you know what happens to me there. wink

Chapter XV: KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!



Right.. so dem' Pachisi, how are dey? Well, as you can see I'm about to fall through another trap door as usual. mad



But on the bright side, I hit the over-priced item store for once (is it just me or is that supposed to me an aged Taloon?)



And after stepping through barriers, landing on trillions of monster spots and losing the last shred of money I had, I managed to push Roto to the end with my sanity still somewhat in tact.



At least I can actually deal some hurt now instead of being a sexy Cleric with a pimp mustache.



Then this, which I probably missed like four already. gonk



South of Assaram and the Pachisi Track lies this qt of a swamp temple.



ie: The biggest pain in the a** of a dungeon. gonk



And with that, we head west to an oasis of Isis.



Kay, I don't know what it is, but what is it with Dragon Quest having a desert land being a Queendom with a sexy Queen?



Then I get badly, badly sidetracked and start doing this to my discovery that some key items have different dialogue.



Then of course it goes to ******** up my life first like everything else. emo



My life, my liffffffffe. D:



Then you never guess what she does again heart



Oh God yes.



Then the Guv'nor has to have some Mini Metal in his face too.



Kay sorry, I get distracted. D: My, what a deep voice Liam has.



Which of course they're talking about the biggest pain of the Pyramid which is the ultra, most broken, amazing weapon in the game.



Last time I got caught swimming in well water naked, it didn't go so well..



Tired of the boring Isis, we head to the castle, but not really.



Hurr hurr... and we keep it.



Yeah, yeah, and until then, Liam shall be a silver bullet.



Right, so let's finally enter this place, o laud, it's like my house with all these cats everywhere.



Cause God forbid pushing four buttons is just a big mystery. mad



I still fail to see to even today of how people don't know what that means. -__-



I think Baramos kneels before everyone's beauty lol



Everything else is boring like a narcissistic Queen who is rly modest and more Pyramid hints, ooh talking cat!



O laud, I think Valkyrie Profile copy/pasta'd this scene and added a creepy wizard and violent deaths to it.



Aww, I thought the actual cat was his familiar, it would be pimp if Baramos had a cat for a familiar. : (

In the next chapter we go boss the Pyramid around, not fall down any holes and get a very broken weapon and fuuuuuu- at the stuff we go through to get it.

Chapter XVII: The Regifter

This chapter will probably cover all the raids and scandals we get to get/see with the beauty of the magic key.



Of course, the other use for the Gold Claws is being able to sell em' for a nation prophet, but Guv is quite comfortable with them on.



And besides, why sell amazing weapons, when you can sell semi-average accessories for a game-breaking sum? heart



Which of course means the team now can afford to all be armoured space stations.



This is Queen Isis' room at night, not even kidding, I'd sleep with a Magic Key lock in my palace too if I had five same sex people and a cat sleeping with me. gonk



Oh, we all knew about this, the question is, why is Isis standing on her bed staring down at all of you? confused



Which part, the one with women laying everywhere, or in the flowers?



But no, we don't get a free woman to help us fight, we get this so we can use my spells like there's no tomorrow (or until it breaks.)



Continuing our raid, we find an easy 7K. <3



Not like we can progress the plot with this p***k blocking the path anyway. mad



A purple cat with wings? WOULD LIKE!



Naw, just a randomly placed tier 1 enemy in quarter game.



In which he's talking about the dwarf who closed the road, and this man is too lazy to actually do it, so we have to when we're not raiding things.



Back in Aliahan, we finally get to take the contents of the treasures that were giving us the finger back when we didn't have the Magic Key and tried to unlock them with the Thief Key.



Much like any Hero(ine)'s nation, they suffer from a poor economy and that's pretty much the best thing they can offer (which is pretty good seeing as it makes Guv into a possible STR capping, broken weapon of a Death Star.)



And finally, with all the Mini Metals we found, we get a pimp weapon for Roto.



Oh, I'm telling on you. mad



And we do by going west of Kazave through a place that we could now unlock with the beauty of the Magic Key.

Next Chapter- we raid Portoga, cry to the king about his friend and embark on the most unnecessary quest yet to this date.

Chapter XVIII: Just Open the Spice Rack!

So, I hope you were as excited as I was in the way of raiding various nations, let's progress with the plot now, non?



They go on to be pretty much the only two people in the world (Tedanki is sort of a yes/no for me, more on that when we get there) that Baramos bothered to ******** up.



Uhh, either I live the life of an ignorant life of a westerner or...



Sadly, you cannot warp back to Aliahan and raid Roto's Mother's spice rack and get 999,999 gold. : (



More on that later. heart



Ah, the old barrier treasure, knocking off 12hp a step. Of course they toned it down since Dragon Quest II, but still, I'm stingy with my HP. D:<



No.. it's not that easy, the b*****d makes us go and get pepper for him, but the up side is the dwarf has to let us through now.



With the King's approval, this p***k changes his tune abruptly.



He then goes on to bash his head against the wall until the path is revealed, much like when I played Final Fantasy XII for the first time. By the by, nothing wrong with the Final Fantasy series, in fact I indulge in a pleasant evening of tea and FFV quite often, just XII I disliked with a fiery passion with in which I am now too scared to even try XIII.



Following the dwarf's path he made for us, we end up in a small village that apparently is the only place in this world that has pepper.



Our funds are still plentiful and joyous~.



Oh for ********-. mad



Which is a burden IMO cause I use my MP to heal not attack. D:<



Yup, Kind Portoga heard I like quests, so he put a quest in a quest in a quest in a quest so I can quest while I quest while I quest while I quest..



Oh jeez they didn't even take their time to introduce themselves. mad



Oh, I wish it was that easy. D:



Sadly, this man is a prophet. gonk



Awright, so apparently we're in IRL world. D: Lulz, then Aliahan is Australia/Indonesia.



Then to the kidnappers we go!

Chapter XX: Dharma and... Zen?



Something that should have carried over to IX. : (



Uhh, on second hand, we're good with our names thank you.



Oh so a weeaboo tells us. D<



Yeah, yeah, desu, desu, desu. mad



I love you Dragon Quest and your gender confused old men. heart



Om.. so you know how I thought the teleportation pads looked suspiciously like swastikas? gonk On a further note, like the third dungeon (?) in the original Zelda and the tiles in the Raman Temple in Fire Emblem Shadow Dragon mad on a srs note: I may be no expert on swastikas, but to my general knowledge, it's some sort of ancient Hindu symbol and this is a place of Zen and worship, so...



Right, so you can't do anything without first climbing a tower and getting a special book first, so to the north of Dharma we go.



Oh joy, Outside, now I can be even more lazy than I already am. <3 And I never really bothered to know what the Remember/Forget spells do..



Ah, ropes pains in the a** if you're flying around on an emulator using a keyboard and still a pain in the a** with a controller, I lack at precision. gonk



If someone can explain to me of how a Silver Beret is stronger that an Iron Helmet, I would be grateful..



In this tower lies the first Metal Slime spawn point. I don't know if it's just this version of DQIII, but they are even more pussie than the Warrior version and it's not a rare case when they run on the turn of the fight. D:<



Then we fall down a big gaping hole in the top of the tower and end up here.



Upon getting the book we return to Dharma for an exciting plot twist.



Yup, I'mma lose the stash and be my usual, hairless body self again. : (



Extreme Makeover, in 5..4..3..2..1



OH GOD, I KNOW, I'M SCAREDDDDD!



And with that, I took a page from Roto's book and spawned a circuit, wild hair and lost my pimp hat.



So I'm basically a taller Roto with lavender hair and a stick and am back at Lv. 1 jeez. mad



But I'm still the wisest in the group even if I am at Lv. 1 cool

Next Chapter- With a new makeover, we head off to treat me with women who aren't really, we do the timewarp, get a pimped out item for Roto and maybe bring pepper back to the King.

Chapter XXII: So We Got a Ship, So, Uh, Where Now?

This is the part of the game where it gets rather non-linear, but not as bad as Dragon Quest/Warrior II, so let's stumble through this world!



You're welcome. mad And thanks for not noticing my total makeover. D<



Oh yes, a few dreaded teleportation spells and a dangerous five steps into a dungeon that had almost no random encounters.



Eh, at least we can finally be freeeee!~



*EXCITE AND GLEE*



Ah, ship navigation with absolutely no idea on where to go, let us head west as my nostalgia directs us to.



Sure enough, we find a suspicious patch of clearing.



Sadly, I'm not Hassan here, so I can't build one in fifteen seconds. : (



But, that we can do.



If anyone gets my reference.
By the way, top left is the Dealer, good grief Toriyama, and note Bulma and Lucca to this too. mad Oh yes, and I'm bottom left in that picture, ******** yeah. cool



Right, so I got bored and go to the pub to get hammered whilst our new girl replaces me.



Can someone explain to me how Marle has better growths than anyone? gonk



But she doesn't stay for long anyway.



Maybe the ending to Chrono Trigger will be a little less boring and typical without her in the way..



Picking me up from the pub, we head the the lighthouse just south of Portoga for some clues.



O laud, that is a sexy town. redface



Not ready for plot progression yet. mad



And get eaten by a dragon, yeah...



Sadly, you don't make pimped weapons outta them.



Right, so we sail south just to procrastinate and come across this town.



Oh, you're so sassy and pretty Tedanki! 4laugh



Oh shi- dead people.

Next Chapter- Moar dead people, sort of living people and more grave robbin'.