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 Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 8:31 pm
Link your adoptable profile:http://www.thesporkedken.com/adopt/profile.php?user=Zee JollyMeal choice: Jolly Meal C! This is a recipe for: Meatloaf Instructions:You will need: 1 Frozen Meatloaf Icepick Instructions: Defrost Meatloaf. You may enjoy the following musical number (dancing optional), or skip right to hitting Meatloaf with the Icepick. Preheat oven to Hell degrees. Lay carcass out in glass coffin bakeware. Cook for 90 minutes, basting often. Use electric carver to serve. Serves about 200.
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:44 pm
Link your adoptable profile: http://www.thesporkedken.com/adopt/profile.php?user=RownieJollyMeal choice: Jolly Meal A This is a recipe for: Scream Cheese Mints Utensils:Mixing bowl Spoon Cookie/baking sheet A frost demon (optional) Ingredients:2 packages (4 oz. each ) of scream cheese 6 cups powdered sugar (substitute with icing sugar if needed) Mint extract (or any other flavor as desired) Food coloring (of any color) Instructions:In a large bowl combine cream cheese and powdered sugar. Add mint or other flavoring to taste. Separate batter into separate bowls, add food coloring. Mix well until color is uniform. On a wax-papered cookie sheet, roll mints into little balls then press down with finger, fork, or fist. Chill for about 1.5 hours ( or less if you have a handy frost demon ) Remove and flip mints over, returning to chilling for another 1.5 hours (if you want them hard and cold). ??? PROFITEnjoy! Yields about 25 mints depending on size of mint. You can also make amazing Halloween scenes like the town square, or whatever else you want. ( you can actually make and eat this! Give it a try some time! )
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
Crew
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 8:26 pm
Link your adoptable profile: VampsJollyMeal choice: A This is a recipe for: Sue Stew (Serves: ???) Instructions:-Find One Sue-Beast -Kill sue beast (It is possible to take it alive. Considering how they don't die easily) -Throw into pot -Add: *1 gallon pumpkin juice * 5 cups crumpled tombstone (Lime preferred) * 1 bucket of shredded dictonary * 1 Thesaurus, whole * 1 pint fresh blood, (unicorn OR baby seal) * 1 gallon swamp water, (keep the grime) * 1 cup glitter * 2 cups of anything shiny * a pinch of dried tear salt * one Linken Park CD * A lace doily * One holy item, to prevent sue resurrection. THIS INGREDIENT IS NON OPTIONAL. Put over open fire. Make sure lid is locked in place. Let sit over open flame for 3 hours, or until the sue has stopped screaming in agony and is now officially dead, and the holy item has been mixed in. Serve with one literary classic, add pages of dictionary to taste. Best complimented with a glass of TEAR* Brand Tea.
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 8:42 pm
Link your adoptable profile: VampsJollyMeal choice: B This is a recipe for: Acceptance Bin 'Any Student Can Pass' Smoothie! Instructions: 1: Get out your Extreme Blender2: Grab Those papers Arel and Hellma have throw into the rejection bin, (or turned into paper airplanes or gnome attacking devices) 3: Throw into blender. 4: WILL IT BLEND? Find out by hitting Blend. CAUTION! Don't breath in the enrollment paper smoke! 5~ -If blended: Pour into acceptance bin. -If unblended:........Refill out the acceptance paper and try again.
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
Crew
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 11:13 pm
Link your adoptable profile: Here~JollyMeal choice: A This is a recipe for: Mr. Blobby's Special Instructions: 1.) Obtain a hellacious amount of gelatin. Not Jell-o, just plain unflavored gelatin. 2.) Place random food-like objects into said gelatin. Nothing sweet allowed! Only bones, meat, fat scraps, limp vegetables, and other horrors are permitted. 3.) Refrigerate until jiggly and worrisome. Seriously, this s**t is messed up.
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Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 12:15 am
Strange sounds have been coming from the kitchens, lately. Missing kitten and unicorn notices have been cropping up all over campus. On the back of Spoiled brand milk cartons, a girl name Mary smiles charmingly, the caption saying, "Have you seen me?" The school's supply of gelatin, however, remains strangely untouched throughout.
Not even Ginger is willing to go there.
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Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:26 am
Link your adoptable profile: thereJollyMeal choice: Jollymeal B This is a recipe for: Baba Yaga au rum Instructions: Ingredients: -1/2 cup scrags eyes -1/4 cup rum -1 tablespoon moldy yeast -1/3 cup curdled milk -1 cup ashes -1 cup cement -2 dragon eggs -5 tablespoons extra curdled milk -1 whole chicken skeleton Instructions: Catch 2 dragon eggs without being devoured by the mother. Soak scrags eyes with rum for one week. In another skullbowl, mix the yeast, curdled milk, ashes, cement and dragon eggs. Let rise as an undead sort of batter, then beat it back up into submission before adding the eyes to it and half the extra curdled milk. Mix it, then place the chicken skeleton in a big enough mold, previously coated with the rest of the extra curdled milk. Pour the preparation inside. Go back to the dragon mother and get her to breathe fire on the mold until it rises again as an un-undead dessert; the rest of the rum might be useful to bribe her if she is uncooperative and tries to devour you instead. Remember to run away from the dragon before she devours the delicious dessert. The baba yaga au rum will remove itself from the mold when it is ready. Get ready to catch it before eating it.
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Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 7:24 am
Link your adoptable profile: [link]JollyMeal choice: A This is a recipe for: Snot Balls Instructions:Ingredients: -2 jars snot -2 sticks old butter -1 bag ashes -pot of hardening slime Instructions: -mix snot, butter and ashes together in a large bowl -roll into individual bit size spheres -refrigerate for two hours -dip cold balls into liquid slime -refrigerate for two more hours -enjoy! ... or throw them at people... Link your adoptable profile: [link]JollyMeal choice: B This is a recipe for: Brittles Instructions:Ingredients: -3 undead that would go unoticed -1 chunk of the school supply store gelatin Instructions: -break down the undead into bite sized pieces -scatter pieces on trays -cover in gelatin -bake for ten minutes -cool and eat! Link your adoptable profile: [link]JollyMeal choice: C This is a recipe for: Ashes Meringues Instructions:Ingredients: -cream of tar -ashes -spoiled milk -sand -in a mixer, combine all the ingredients -whip until poofy -make small piles or circles on trays -bake for twenty minutes Link your adoptable profile: [link]JollyMeal choice: D This is a recipe for: Fried Killamari Instructions:Ingredients: - 1 Killamari - a huge a** fryer. Instructions: -have some students go find (and kill) a Killamari (you may want to send reinforcements) -when they bring it back, fry it. whole. -throw onto table, they can feed themselves. Link your adoptable profile: [link]JollyMeal choice: E This is a recipe for: Fruit Cake Instructions:Ingredients: -all cerberus and unicorn students -some cake -glitter and barf Instructions: -mix everything together in the bowl and bake for three hours. feeds 1000
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Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 7:53 am
Link your adoptable profile: Here.JollyMeal choice: Eeeek! This is a recipe for: Panderp burgers. Instructions: Step One: Locate a wild Panderp. This part may be tricky as they are very rare creatures, and are a protected species in their native land. The current theory is that they are endangered because they are the most delicious animal on the planet, and were over hunted. Step Two: Lure the Panderp to you. The best way to achieve this is to make a suit of delicious, delicious bamboo. No Panderp can resist it. They will never suspect that you are hiding underneath and are poised to strike. Step Three: Carefully slay the Panderp. There must be as little struggle as possible as the Panderp must remain tender and delicious. This will be difficult as they are not only the tastiest animal in existence, but also one of the most deadly. Panderps will straight up maul a b***h. Step Four: Prepare the Panderp meat. For the burgers, the meat must be finely ground. Any large meat grinder will do the trick. Form the ground meat into patties. Ideally, the patties should about the size of the palm of your hand in diameter, and approximately two inches thick. Step Five: Fry the Panderp patty over the stove or grill. Once the burger is the desired rareness, serve on a bun made with only the finest grains. Quality buns are key since Panderp meat is so rare, and you should only serve it with the best things possible. Add toppings and condiments of your choice to taste.
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Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 8:48 am
Link your adoptable profile: LinkJollyMeal choice: JollyMeal D This is a recipe for: Spamcakes Instructions:Ingredients:Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Baked Brains Spam Spam Spam Spam Directions:1.) Empty spam into bowl. 2.) Add baked brains into bowl. 3.) Mix until gloopy. 4.) Pour fist-sized portions in skillet. 5.) Let sizzle until smoke alarm goes off. 6.) Flip cakes. 7.) Turn off smoke alarm. 8.) Sizzle until smoke alarm goes off again. 9.) Scrape cakes out of skillet. 10.) Turn off smoke alarm. 11.) Serve while singing the Spam Song. Note: No, you cannot have this JollyMeal without Spam!
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Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 9:19 am
Link your adoptable profile: AyeAvastJollyMeal choice: Jolly Meal A This is a recipe for: Pumpkin Chocolate Pumpkin Pie Instructions: Ingredients: 1 pie crust of your choosing (graham, chocolate, brain, etc.) 6 ounces semisweet chocolate 2 ounces (4 tablespoons) unsalted butter, cut into small pieces (just like your recent murder!) 1 can (15 ounces) solid-pack pumpkin 1 can (12 ounces) evaporated milk 3/4 cup packed light-brown sugar 3 large eggs 1 tablespoon cornstarch 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 1 1/2 teaspoons coarse salt 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon 3/4 teaspoon ground ginger 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg Ground cloves 1 ounce milk chocolate, melted Instructions: 1) Bake pie crust according to packaged instructions. 2) Remove pie crust a minute before time and sprinkle chocolate along bottom. 3) Remove pie crust when finished and put in a neutral place to cool, spreading the chocolate around the bottom and up the sides of the crust. 4) In a separate bowl, nuke some more chocolate along with the butter until melted. 5) In another bowl (this is like your 3rd!) mix pumpkin, milk, brown sugar, eggs, cornstarch, vanilla, salt, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and a pinch of cloves in a medium bowl. Whisk 1/3 pumpkin mixture into chocolate mixture. Whisk in remaining pumpkin mixture until completely incorporated. You'll need a BIG BOWL for this one. 6) Transfer pie dish to a rimmed baking sheet, and pour pumpkin mixture into crust. Bake until center is set but still a bit wobbly, 55 to 60 minutes. Let cool in pie dish on a wire rack. Refrigerate until well chilled, at least 8 hours (preferably overnight). Before serving, drizzle melted milk chocolate on top. Serve, garnish at your will and enjoy!
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Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 10:58 am
Link your adoptable profile: Mobster GooseJollyMeal choice: Jolly Meal B This is a recipe for: Last Man Standing Lasagna Instructions: Ingredients:
16 equal size pieces of flattened out intestines
1 pound of fresh meat
1 jar (about 28 oz.) coagulated blood sauce
1/2 cup water
16 ounces moldy batcotta cheese
2 cups of shredded expired mouserella cheese
1/4 cup grated sacrificial goat cheese
2 eggs
2 teaspoons chopped oregano
2 teaspoons chopped brain
1 teaspoon of skin flakes
1/2 teaspoon pumpkin powder
1/4 teaspoon ground nail shavingsDirections:
1. In large skillet, brown the fresh meat, do not drain.
2. Stir in coagulated blood and water and leave to simmer 10 minutes.
3. Cook pasta then let it cool.
4. Heat oven to hellish temperatures.
5. In large bowl, stir together the moldy batcotta cheese, 1-1/2 cups mouserella cheese, sacrificial goat cheese, eggs, oregano, brain, pumpkin powder, skin flakes and ground nail shavings.
6. Spread about 1/3 cup coagulated blood on bottom of 13 x 9 bone baking dish. Arrange 4 intestinal pieces lengthwise over the coagulated blood, overlapping edges. Spread one-third moldy and expired cheese mixture over the intestines and spread with about 3/4 cup bloody meat mixture.
7. Repeat layers, beginning and ending with intestine pieces. Top with remaining bloody meat sauce; sprinkle with remaining 1/2 cup mouserella cheese and additional sacrificial goat cheese.
8. Cover with foil. Bake 45 minutes or until hot and bubbly. Remove foil; bake about 10 minutes longer, or until lightly browned. Let stand 10 minutes before cutting.Serving SizeVaries depending on the size of the slices served. Increase the quantity of the ingredients proportionally for larger serving sizes.
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Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 11:05 am
Link your adoptable profile: Here~JollyMeal choice: B This is a recipe for: Wartbelly Pie Instructions: 1.) Obtain multiple warty witches - toads may be substituted, though the flavor will suffer greatly as a result and consumers of the finished dish may ribbit uncontrollably for a few hours after digestion. 2.) Obtain warts from witches - we leave the precise method of harvesting in your capable, imaginative hands. 3.) Blend warts with heavy cream; add candy corn sugar, owl eggs, and boo extract. Whip until it stands up like the hair on the back of a human's neck. 4.) Pour into pie pan and deep chill for four hours. Garnish with reserved warts.
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Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 1:06 pm
Link your adoptable profile: VampsJollyMeal choice: C This is a recipe for: Graveyard ghoulashe Instructions: 1- Go out to the graveyard behind the school 2- Make sure Breck is still busy writing love notes to Professor Byrn. 3- Steal: *1 pumpkin * I head stone (lime) * 1 Gargoyle wing * two rock bats * 3 blind grave mice * 2 yards of creeping vine * That thing Breck threw into the empty grave yesterday 4- Return to kitchen 5- Pray Breck never saw you and you left nothing behind 6- Gut pumpkin (save guts) 7- In bowl, mix pumpkin guts, headstone (crushed, not cubed), minced wing, ground bat, ground mice, vines 8- Throw into oven for a few hours. If it burns, just cut those bit away. Save them for something else. 9- Serve from empty pumpkin 10- Enjoy while reading those love letters you dug up that Breck left behind.
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
Crew
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Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 1:37 pm
Link your adoptable profile: ScheeliteJollyMeal choice: A This is a recipe for: Sparkling Unicorn Meat Instructions:You will need: 1 lb fresh Unicorn meat. The fresher the better! 2 cups sparkling glitter. Rainbow works best. This recipe is real simple! Massage the Unicorn meat with the glitter, making sure to get a nice healthy (and crunchy!) layer all over the meat. Once done, cook to order! Can be used as burgers, steaks, whatever the mind can think up.
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