Welcome to Gaia! ::

Could you simplify the description a bit? XD; Even though it's an Eternal attack it should still be easy to understand, and four paragraphs of explanation is a bit much.

This bit's sort of distracting, remove it please?


Okay, so first thing -- you shouldn't be differentiating the effect between herself and another target? A senshi attack should always do the same basic thing, otherwise things get too complicated too fast.

Second: even though it's an Eternal attack, I feel like you have too many effects! I'd recommend against adding a boost to a senshi's magical attack since that's a really difficult thing to quantify, and focus on the endurance and speed boost instead.

Third, can I get just a bit more streamlining? I know writing is about showing and not telling -- but when you're giving an attack description it's better to TELL so people reading it have a clear idea of what's going on. That in mind, stick to the basic facts and save the prose for when you're actually writing the attack in a battle RP. ^^; Otherwise the facts get lost in the description.

Okay, on her flexibility virtue vs. her "quits and ignores problems" flaw... hmmm, I'm just having trouble since it seems like she knows the point where it's practical to quit, which is a good thing?

So I'd like to see some clarification on how those traits work without conflicting too much -- the way it's written, you kind of have the "in spite of X she does Y" formula, which doesn't do much for making them compatible.

Muuuch better, thanks for tweaking that. You're good to go when your art is done~