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A guild for teenagers covering topics centering around teen sex, pregnancy, puberty, and other aspects of teen life. 

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lunashock

PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 12:07 pm


CaRm3lCr3aM


By the way. My name is Mandi and I'm 17 and I'm trying to get pregnant.. biggrin


I think you are incredibly rude and tactless for posting that in a thread like this.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 7:40 am


Just ignore him. You should avoid putting him in the birth records and if he doesn't want to pay child support, then that's fine, too. The reason being- If for some reason down the road he wants to try to take your child away from you, it will help your case. You can site the fact that he never paid child support, and didn't want to have anything to do with the child.

Jsm_Tbird



Morgenmuffel


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 1:25 pm


I'm sorry, but I don't agree with that. Avoidance of the issue won't make it go away or help her later. Just have him legally sign away his parental rights and he won't ever have cause to come back to haunt you as it's already taken care of.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 4:33 pm


If he does not take an active part in the child's life, she doesn't show herself to be mentally unstable or abusive, and you can prove that he had this reaction when you first became pregnant, I'd say there's no chance in hell that he'd ever have so much as a prayer in a custody battle. Regardless of whether he is on the birth certificate and has been paying child support diligently.

Not to mention that you can't plan how your future will go. If you ever need any extra financial support, you won't be able to get any from him if you've signed him away. He played his part in making you pregnant, he has a responsibility to play his part in caring for the child. If that's something as little as just $400 a month and no emotional/time commitment, that's fine. If that's just him paying for whatever an abortion would have been, that's also ok. But for him to have no reprocussions whatsoever for his actions is NOT ok. At least, I don't think so.

Akhakhu



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 6:22 pm


I've seen some custody battles take REALLY weird turns in illogical ways they shouldn't have gone. I'd still argue better safe then sorry and n** it in the bud and just take care of the mess with the ex right away rather then just waiting to see what will happen.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:35 pm


Custody/visitation and child support and two seperate things in the eyes of the law.

My sister's biological father of her son owes $6000 in back child support, but even though she hates him, she allows him and his family to see her son as agreed by the courts.

So, him not paying child support doesn't mean anything visitation wise, if he decides later on he wants to be a man and be a father. Has there been some messed up cases custody wise in the US? Of course, but keeping records (a BIG important thing to do) of even him not being there and having a supportive family there from the beginning will decrease greatly of a fluke case like that.

Regardless of whether she chooses to have him sign his rights or have him pay the child support her child is entitled to, you're going to have to find him, go through the courts to get a DNA test to confirm the paternity. So, I advise at least getting child support while you work on getting the legalites of signing over his parental rights, IF you choose that route.

lunashock


CaRm3lCr3aM

PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 3:06 pm


Guild Captain edit: This post has been deleted due to its inappropriateness.
PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 1:38 pm


lunashock
My sister's biological father of her son owes $6000 in back child support, but even though she hates him, she allows him and his family to see her son as agreed by the courts.

I'm a little confused. Are you saying she is respecting the court decision made before he owned all that money? Or that the court has said that she has to let him see his kids even though he's not paying child support?

Because usually, she can fight against visitation rights if he hasn't paid his share. And, of course, a mother can allow the father visitations even if the court has said that he isn't entitled to them. Unless someone files a complaint, it's not like the cops are going to stop them.

Akhakhu


lunashock

PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 9:09 pm


Basically, both.

She has filed to have his tax return garnished, but he's threatened to file his taxes seperately (he also doesn't hold down a job for long to avoid getting his checks garnished). Of course, my sister's situation doesn't apply to everyone and she is pursuing having him arrested through DHR for failure to pay child support. While she doesn't think highly of him, her son does want to see his father (he's 11) and she respects the fact that his family wants to see him. But yeah, you are right, it is a particular circumstance, much like everything else and if she wanted to, she could go back to court to fight the visitation.

Back on the subject, whatever you feel is best and works out for you. You obviously have a good head on you and heart. There are pros and cons to each decision, much like anything else.
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