|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 24, 2010 9:33 pm
**coughcough** Feel free to read the stuff I've put up! I haven't gotten almost any reviews yet... ^^;;
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 5:41 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 5:49 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 8:02 am
Well, I wrote this thinking about a few interconnected (metaphorically) things. Those people who draw in sand, they trace the design and every time they move a hair, then somehow it's completely a different picture, pre-destination, hitsuzen (xxxholic fans- I love you for getting this), and cycles. All things repeat, and yet nothing is ever the same. No matter how many times history repeats itself, the same event simply cannot occur twice, but it is the same thing. Very oddly, reasonably non-sensical; though that's pretty much my norm . . . ..Yui Move A twisting dance Shift The subtle pattern Tracing lines And curlicues; Two times perhaps But not the same For all the likeness Twist Each time They're traced; So slight the difference But over time Things warp and writhe, Go from one thing To another- Forever transforming To things nowhere Near what they were Once-- what they Began as All meanings true And explanations beyond reason-- trapt in timeless pattern-- Are lost in Never-The-Same
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 9:07 am
Mine's titled Forgotten Ages
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 9:34 am
I'll go check it out. If you have any specific reviews or comments I'd love to hear them, so feel free to analzye and pick apart my work to your heart's content. Not everyone likes to, but if any one wants to, in depth analyses are welcome. Stuff like that helps me improve, and that's my main goal here- constructive feedback.
Though a flat out "Hey, I loved that" still rocks! What ever floats your boat!
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 11:27 am
Well, if you want analysis then I'd have to ask my sister about it; I'll see if I can get her to read some of your poems. She used to be pretty into them. ^_^
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 1:49 pm
Poems in general, or mine specifically? either way though, I'd be grateful.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 2:06 pm
No one's been reviewing lately and that makes me sad. Nothing much has been happening, so here's something I wrote after going to the beach at night and running in through sea foam in the cold. It's something I'll never forget as long as I live.Yui Out, AwaySkittering fingers Of whisper-white waves Crawl up wavering white-sand And wind-worthy Seabirds Soar on cresting Wavetops Out on the forlorn sea Silken strands of moonlight On velvet banks of mist Pick out an intricate embroidery Below the black, black midnight Hanging over me Ice, ice, ice, Is splintering my feet The pin-pricking pointed needles Up-stabbing into me I want for cold, cold Moonshine To be drunk on Salt-sprayed dreams: My mind is racing Unrestfully Across the ocean’s deeps B’neath starry ecstasy Out and out And out and out Until I’m so gone I can’t return I want the Cheshire Smile To take me To the chilled reasoning Away beyond insane, So cruel in it’s false purity It’s nature is Obscene To let that ice Invade me Overtake all sense and Sound; Obscure any yearning For things beyond The Now I run and run And run into The blistering cold And can’t feel Myself not feeling The agony threaded Through my soul Slowly I’m Unlearning My entire life Again Spewing all my dreams So dark And fears as bright As day Onto the twilit sand-scape That all the weight of knowing Will be lifted up Off me I’ll race into The spinning night So full of lost and losing I’ll run and cartwheel And fly so free Moving forever on And never ever Turn back again To my sane, old Yesterdays
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 2:09 pm
Oh. almost forgot, title for that last piece is Out, Away. Since it won't let me edit my posts.. . .**grrr**
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 2:10 pm
Oh. almost forgot, title for that last piece is Out, Away. Since it won't let me edit my posts.. . .**grrr**
I swear it hates me. I swear!
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:10 pm
I'll leave those stupidly awkward posts up. They amuse me. And there you have it- I am an easily amused girl. What can I say?
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 7:53 am
So. I went and saw Avatar- which sucked- with my bestest buddies. And then I went home and felt like a crappy left-over piece that was unwanted, unneeded and useless to all the world. I took a cold shower and curled up in my warm winter stuff, feeling very unloved and out of place. I ended up writing this. **shrugs**. These moods have their purposes, I guess.Yui A Lone CurlI am a placeless being Of ephemeral half-thoughts; A fluttering form Of dreams Shaped by whimsy And wanton desires That unmake and remake And destroy while healing this Unsteady image of me I am the pondering Of half-waking minds; A questing tendril of smoke That curls up and into Its own dissipation- A coyly cloying thought Or the bland deliberation Of meandering cats that coil Lithely about legs And twist—no twine— A will to their own Unnatural eyes Divining I am a person Without a place And a place without a person And people without one Another I belong without belonging In the place where nothing Fits in I am the outcast, Cast from belonging By those that will misconstrue me And those that don’t And I cast out Of my own self The part of me that is my being By my self and it’s un-belonging For nothing is What it may not be Though I am what I Should not Seek after And think of myself So unearthly, so spelled That never and forever within are maybe And certainly dividing A future apart From the Now together And with the Past alone A thing of beauty To be by itself The only thing—last hope— Remaining to console me Is A Lone Curl of Smoke
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 8:28 pm
I still read your poems....am I no one? ;-; I AM SUPPORTIVE!!!
Your poems have a good sensory output for the reader to use. I really enjoy being able to feel what you do through your words. I hope that I can use that somewhat in my own writing!
The free-verse that you write also has great rhythm. It flows steadily at a pace that is easy to take in.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 03, 2010 12:20 pm
Thank you! Your support is much appreciated, and definitely counts! You definitely aren't no one, and I can't say how wonderful it is to have a fan!
In my opinion, poetry is sensation on a page; raw feeling and emotion combined with rhythm and flow. I work hard to keep all those things in balance when I write and still let my message shine through. I'm glad that you enjoy my work, and it's amazing to me that you can learn from my writing!
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|