Welcome to Gaia! ::

That's the thing... to go back to school, especially medical school, would be selfish (to me anyway). It may be my dream but I refuse to become a nonexistant parent that's never around. Interns work almost 24/7 and some of them sleep in the hospital because they do not have time to go home. If I were to go through with my dream, that's what would happen. For 3 years I'd basically never see my baby... he/she would have more of a relationship with a daycare than he/she would with me. This is why I've decided not to aim for that dream anymore. My baby deserves so much more than that... I want to be there and not be the non-existant mother that my child never sees. My parents did that... that's not what I want for my child. I'm perfectly fine working as a phlebotomist, I'll have no problem getting into the nursing program and will probably be a certified RN very soon after the baby is born. And honestly... I wouldn't blame my baby. He/She did not choose the circumstances of it's creation. If I blamed anyone it would be my professor or myself for being stupid enough to fall for the age old "need to discuss a paper" trick.

I have my AA and my AS and a certificate as a phlebotomist... I've been working at a local hospital for a while now and at the end of next month I'll have 2000 hours of hands-on patient-patient medical experience. Once I hit the 2000 hours I can apply for acceptance into the Nursing Program or the Physician's Assistant program at the local JC. Fron there I can become either an RN or a PA... most likely an RN since the PA program requires I complete so many units each semester... and I do plan on taking time off when the baby is born... I'll be out of work and school for at least 6 months... the daycares out here don't take children under the age of one so I'm at a loss for that... my parents can't help me with that either and I have no other family aside from that that would be able to. My boyfriend is very supportive but he's an EMT... he works... alot... he's also going for his masters in chem at the same time... so figuring ll of this out is difficult... and family and friends are only contributing to the stress and the difficulty. I don't know. I'll be happy being an RN. I never wanted to be a doctor for the money or anything like that... I just wanted to help people... and as a nurse, I'd still be able to do that.

as for self defense classes... yeah the first time started when I was 5 and continuded until I was 10... that was my uncle's doing... and I learned not to fight him or it would be more painful... I'd just cry... the other time involved stab wounds... had it not been for that and a nosey neighbor I'd have bled to death... and this time I don't know what happened this time.. I tried getting away and he blocked the door and basically once I was pinned it was over.

I carry a blade with me actually. but it didn't do me much good in my purse, and I just wasn't expecting to need it. He had me sit down, went to his file cabinet and looked like he was searching for papers in it, closed the file, locked the door and stood in front of it and I didn't have enough time to reach into my purse that was on the floor leaning against the chair. As for vibes... I highly doubt I am. My uncle was one thing that was a thing of brain washing and nothing more. besides I was 5 how the hell does a 5 year old beat off a 30 year old? it just doesn't work and after a while they break you and you become so empty you just don't care anymore and pray that it kills you. But I don't just let things happen to me anymore... the reason one of the times involved stabbing was because I stabbed him first... not good enough apparently because he got to me next only by then he was even more angry so he stabbed me three times. I'm not this passive person or anything like that and it's not like I wasn't screaming for help the entire time either, well, when I could scream. How it is that no one came is beyond me. Someone had to have heard something... Campus is fairly empty on friday's... but there's still people... I think the only reason I'm targeted is seriously, because I'm small... I'm only 4'11" and Dr. Pinson was huge.. and my uncle... I wasn't his only target. His daughters went through it too and so did another one of my cousins.

as for the local jc's daycare they are worse than the private ones. they only take children ages 2 and up and they're pretty much filled anyway... aside from that going in that place made me want to cry. I do not want my child in that place... it wasn't organized or structured and yeah... no... that will be a last resort. I also don't trust privately owned daycares so... those won't be happening either. Which leaves me with: Children's World, and Kinder Care.

My parents only aren't supportive because they "don't see why you're throwing everything you've done away for something you didn't even do of your own accord" They wanted me to abort and are quite mad that I won't and are also mad that i won't "put the damn thing up for adoption and be done with it."

I can see your parents' point of view, but I can see yours as well. Hopefully, they will let up and be more supportive once they fully understand that your mind is made up.

As for the screaming, I know. No one ever wants to get involved. And, of course, on campus (at least if yours is anything like ours) people scream all the time just because they are being idiots. So people learn to just grumble and ignore it. I've heard that it can sometimes work better if you are in a situation like that to shout "Fire!" Apparently, people band together and help each other out more if they believe themselves to be in some danger as well. Just scream like you are trapped in the room with a fire.

Also, in my grandmother's dying days, she had this necklace that just fit nicely around her neck and went down into her shirt (so that no one could see the end of it). At the end, was just this little pad with a button on it. If she had a fall or something, she could just press the button and it would ring a bell in my aunt's house (next door). Maybe something like that would be better than a knife? As you said, physically defending yourself can sometimes just make them angry. But if you have some sort of silent alarm that would ring a police station or something, the rapist wouldn't know about it and you'd quickly have someone there to help you.

Or, I bought this thing for a friend last Christmas. She's very short and skinny and weak and was always out partying at night. I worried horribly because she would sit out in these dark bus stops completly alone. She was always scared as well and I spent many nights having to walk home because I would miss my bus waiting with her for hers. Anyways, I bought her this little thing she wears around her wrist when she's along and holds the actual device in her hand. It's this little box with a button. If anything happens, she presses the button and it emits this extremely loud screetching noise. If nothing else, it's good for shocking/surprising an attacker (hopefully giving her some time to get away). This thing would work extremely well in a small office.

Anyways, two non-violent ideas for ways you might consider for protecting yourself.

And like Chalda, I really hope that you will continue to keep us updated. Best of luck to you heart

Never ever have a weapon that you don't intend to use.

It puts you at a much higher risk than if you were unarmed. Weapons indicate you're going to fight, and that can increase the agressive tendancies of any attacker. It puts you harms way, period.

Take a defense class. Everyone (male or female) should take one, if only to get a better understanding of how their body works and how to utelize the world around you.

FYI, pepper spray and mace are illegal in some US states, so ask around.

First of all, she should probably have some counciling for this if she hasn't already. Rape victims (I know from experience) learn to "freeze" during situations where they are being hurt and to "go away" from themselves while the attacker does what he wants. This is destructive when it comes to situations where she can still escape but has already given up at. I know this because it's happened to me before, and only through a lot of working at it, has it lessened in degree.



If you're in California, then it is NOT illegal. You have to go to one of those nurse/uniform stores, but you have to watch a video to get licenced for it.

If that doesn't work, buy a small squirtbottle and fill it up with a solution of 30% bleach and 70% water. The caustic properties of bleach would cause chemical burns on the attacker that may not be permanent but would hurt if sprayed in the eyes or in any orifices.



An alarm won't work if she's been taken away from other people (which most rapists do to their victims).



It's also a good idea as a back up method in YOUR sex life TOGETHER, so that way she is less likely to get pregnant again after she has the baby. If you are both in college, it's going to be hard to support one, let alone two babies.


I wish the two of you the best of luck. If you need help, please don't hesitate to PM me.