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K, first off, LOVE the costume. Cute and sexy. Attack, maybe, after the duration, the target has a minor headache.

I just thought of something, Kallichore is already a quest, i believe. Sailor Kallichore, Senshi of turtles.

Note: Oh Oh, i just thought of something,theres already a senshi of illusions, so i am thinking of kallichore and perseus in a team, wow, the perfect hallucination team.

Even if there was another Kallichore quest, it doesn't matter; unless they have a RL slot, the name is available to quest for. :>

Anyway, crit!

On favorite and hated food - choosing general categories is good sometimes, but I think you've gone a bit too general here. For one, the two examples can be contradictory - pork fried rice, anyone? - and for another, they don't help us get a feel for the character as much as I think they could. "Rice and pasta" covers probably half the food out there, after all! So give us some more detail. Does she prefer Asian dishes to Mexican? Italian to German? This is where using specific examples helps, by giving us references to the flavors and geography of her preferred foods - which, in turn, tells us what other foods she might like, as well as what sort of culture she might have been brought up loving. What we have right now doesn't tell us anything at all, and you can make better use of the form.

When it comes to hobbies - for the most part, I love them. You've chosen great hobbies for the character, put in the perfect amount of detail on each. What I'd like to know is how these hobbies overlap, though. What sort of textile designs does she make? How does this relate to the sort of creativity she applies in her writing, or seeks out in her reading? I want to know more about the content of her textiles, and how it relates to the rest of her character.

Regarding her stationary collection: Does she ever use the stationary, or does she just collect it because it's pretty/interesting/catches her eye? Under what circumstances WOULD she use it? Does she have certain stationaries marked out for certain occasions - "this one's for weddings, this one's for birthdays, this one's in case I ever need to write the name of my murderer in my own blood", etc? I want to know more about the collection than that she just collects, so give us more detail!

Now, when it comes to personality - again, you did awesome on the design here! Not only do all the pieces make sense taken in context with one another, but you can actually imagine a lot about her character as she grew up from the details in combination. One of the main questions in my mind, as I saw her hobbies, was how sensitive a character like that might be, and when I saw there were no traits addressing her confidence level, I worried that it might have been overlooked - but reading through traits like Prickly and Judgmental, it's easy enough for me to extrapolate how she came to adapt to the world around her. The only thing I might mention is that some of this might be better off written out - more about why she became Prickly. Also, there ought to be some more explicit weaknesses, I think. Right now, she's a very strong character on all fronts, personality-wise. Although Flaws are not required in addition to Weaknesses (as they were in some contests past), it's still good policy to identify one area which an enemy could probably take advantage of in the personality, some area that would give your character a drawback in combat.

At this point, I should mention - I just noticed that you split up the quest into two different forms, one for the civilian, one for the senshi. While this is good in the sense that it means you're thinking in detail on both aspects of your character, it will keep your quest from getting stamped. You need to use the standard form somewhere on the page, and then you can throw around extra information after that; splitting it up makes it too difficult for the stampers to evaluate, and they'll tell you to revise based on that.

Now, about the attacks (side note: Holy crap awesome names!) - can they be dodged? You describe her as "throwing" them at her opponent, and that suggests that there's an opportunity for them to be avoided. Also, what happens in a case of "friendly fire" - like, if an ally is engaged in close combat when she uses the attack, and accidentally gets in the way? Can the attack affect someone other than who it is meant for?

All in all, the character looks strong! My brain is dying or I'd keep scouting around for details, but I hope that this is enough to help for now. :> You've got a great design going on; keep working on development, and you'll do awesome! I'll check in again to see how things go! <33

I finally understand what you meant by my "split form", so I incorporated her virtues and flaws as a senshi into the civilian form so that it's much easier to read. I also changed her "obsessive" flaw into "sensitive" and expanded upon how much her parent's divorce really hurt her. This also gives opponents an edge in combat over her. biggrin Plus I think it makes more sense!

I added in more information on dodging her attacks and what happens if an ally is hit with the "missile" end of her attack.

I expanded on her stationary collection, her favorite and hated foods, and explained how her textiles tie into the rest of her hobbies to make it more cohesive. biggrin

Thank you, Akina! I added that she's part of the creative writing club at school and it would make sense that she would try to found, or would be a part of, a horror fan club at school. 3nodding

I chose "madness" because it could encompass hallucinations, horror, general insanity, that sort of thing. The stories written by H.P. Lovecraft often involve madness in the form of something incredibly creepy - so much so that even looking at it causes someone to go insane, so that's where I drew the inspiration for the attacks from. But if it's a conflict with something, I can always change it.

I'm very thankful for everyone's input! The character overall is really tightening up thanks to your guys' input. I really appreciate it!

I very much so appreciate your feedback! If they feel too close to Perseus's attacks, I can always modify them. I definitely didn't intend to step on anyone's toes, and if I need to modify the attacks, then that's totally cool. biggrin I don't mind at all! It'll also help me focus in more on a single aspect of madness instead of several.

So if you think the eternal attack is okay, I can do something different with the standard and super variants so it doesn't seem too close to Perseus. Would it be alright if I PM'd you so you could approve them for me? biggrin

Ping'd~

I like the new angle, but it doesn't match so well with the third attack. One of the things that's been advocated a lot recently is to pick a mode of attack and stick with it - as in, offense, defense, buffing, healing, etc. So if you're doing a distraction sort of attack on the first two attacks, it may be that they'd prefer you to do it on your third attack as well. Maybe angle it less toward a psychosis that deals direct damage, and more toward a psychosis that drives people to damage themselves or their allies in some manner?