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 Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:06 pm
March 17th, 2007 - 9:05 PM
I decided to clean my room earlier. Ren, apparently, thought that last night was a great time to take over and do gods-know-what with that b*****d Crevan. I wish Ren would just go away - I shudder to think what happened to my body while they were, er, cavorting. Ew ew ew! I don't have a say in what happens to my own body when Ren takes over and that really freaks me out.
Ick, well, enough about that. While I was cleaning, I found the strangest thing. It's a little stuffed coyote, but instead of the usual brown fur, the fabric is blue with white stars and a crescent moon over her eye. Something kind of stirred within me when I saw her... it was weird, as though finding a long lost friend. I wonder how I got her? I certainly don't remember buying such a unique plushie, and yet it feels like there's a memory trying to push it's way out of the back of my mind..
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 8:29 pm
March 19th, 2007 - 6:22 PM
Crevan came around today and tried to provoke Ren out of me. He got an earfull and a series of scratches on his face and neck. I would've done more, but I was afraid that anything more extreme would've brought Ren around, and I really didn't want to lose control.
I had to calm down somehow, so I took that little coyote plush to the park, along with some paper and watercolours. Pipit, as I named her, makes the perfect model, never moving (and never complaining!). I still suck with watercolours, but it came out a bit more decent than it usually does. After I painted, I sketched for a while, keeping Pip close to me on the bench.
We were there past sundown, which I hadn't planned, but it was nice. I'm not too great with astrology, so I make up my own constellations along with their stories. Pip is now the only one who has ever heard these stories. They're silly, and I was glad no one else was around, but it was so relaxing.
I'm home now and feeling a bit sick, so I decided to write all of this down before Ren pulls through and I forget. Pip is hidden now. I don't trust Ren, and if she were to find the plush...
Besides, Crevan told me he'd be coming back this evening. Ugh. Maybe it's a good thing I don't remember what goes on when Ren takes over.
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 8:41 pm
March 19th, 2007 - 7:39 PM
Kai thinks she's so smart, huh? Yeah, right, like I can't see what she's doing. I guess she doesn't realize that I'm always around, ready to spring. I told Cree about this little diary and he suggested I write something in it. Of course, he wanted me to go into details about our nights, but I'll spare Kai from that... for now.
Poor, innocent Kai. Hah! I read the past few entries and apparently we're scarring her. Too bad, kid. Just because you're a prude doesn't mean we're going to be as bland as you. Besides, you might think differently if you knew how good Cree is.
Gods, I wish you could see how badly I'm smirking right now.
Oh, and a stuffed animal? Really? We're nineteen, Kai. Gods help you (and "Pip")!
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 9:23 pm
March 21st, 2007 - 2:56 AM
I woke up this morning and the room was a wreck again. Yuck. Thankfully Crevan was already gone. I couldn't have been held accountable if I had happened to found the steak knife hidden under my bed and if I had happened to cut off his proudest limb.
Once I was sure he had left, and that Ren was good and dormant, I went and got Pip out. I see that Ren has been in here (damn it!) so I won't say where she was. Anyway, I gave her a bath, if you could call it that. There was a bunch of dust on her, even after going out yesterday, so I wet a washcloth and cleaned her off. Her fur is more blue than I thought.
Some memories are coming back, and I remember a little shop that is somehow connected to Pip. I'm not sure how, though. I also have the strangest feeling that I should be taking her places with me, so as silly as it is for me to carry around a stuffed animal, I'm doing it. Hopefully I'm not just imagining things.
I (or should I say we?) worked on some more art today, once more with Pip as the subject. Then we went and I had some ice cream before going home.
As soon as the sun started setting, I took her out on the balcony to look at the stars. I continued telling her stories about the constellations. They're all made up, but it's still fun.
It's late now and I'm beginning to get a little tired. Ren hasn't shown any signs of coming out tonight, which is great, although it's probably only because Crevan hasn't showed up tonight.
Time for bed. A day without Ren... it was great.
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 3:08 am
March 22nd, 2007 - 1:40 AM
... Okay, crazy as it may be, I'm a little concerned that I haven't had so much as a stir from Ren. I went all day today without sensing her presence. I know I should be happy about it (and gods, do I want to be) but it's so... ominous.
Pip has proven to be a good inspiration lately. Instead of drawing her as a plush, I've been working on a piece of what she'd look like as a living coyote. It's fun working with realistic anatomy but crazy patterns and colours.
As usual, we sat outside earlier and I made up some more constellation stories.
Not much else to report. I'm going to go to bed and hope that Crevan doesn't show up tomorrow.
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 3:20 am
March 23rd, 2007 - 2:27 AM
So, I have good news and bad news.
The bad news is that Crevan showed up. Gods, he's such a scumbag. I feel dirty just being around him. As usual, he tried pulling Ren out, which leads me to the good news.
She still hasn't been around! Even with the b*****d harassing me, trying to provoke her, she stayed away. I'm not sure what that means... of course, I want to believe that it means she's gone, but I'm not that naive.
Just in case, I gave Pip a new hiding spot. That whole comment about always watching that Ren left in here (MY diary, damn it, get your own if you must) got me a bit spooked. I don't know whether or not it's true, but I decided to switch the hiding place just in case. I don't think Ren can see what I'm doing (how could she, if I can't see what she does when she takes over?), since she hasn't done anything to Pip yet. Rotating hiding spots will, hopefully, keep it that way.
Apparently it's a time of change, because we switched up the routine a bit today. We did the usual stop at the park for some drawing and then, instead of coming home, we went to this little shop where you buy a plain figurine and paint it. I bought a fox figurine (they didn't have any coyotes) and painted it like Pip. The employees thought I was a bit strange, an adult carrying around a plushie, and to be honest I couldn't explain it. I'm still not sure why I'm taking her with me everywhere, but it feels... right.
Statue!Pip is sitting here on my desk. It's nice being able to see a likeness of her, even when Pip herself hidden away.
I can barely keep my eyes open, so it's probably time for bed. Goodnight.
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 3:22 am
March 23rd, 2007 - 2:42 AM
Yoink!
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 8:30 pm
March 23rd, 2007 - 1:43 PM
Damn, damn, DAMN! Ren, you b***h, you'd better give Pip back! Oh, damn it, I can't believe I thought you couldn't see what I was doing... I should've played it safe... DAMN IT!
I'm so angry I can barely see straight, I can't
Temper, temper! Too bad you're so pathetically naive that you haven't figured out anger gives me easy access to our body. Good luck trying to find your plush - she's at Cree's. So sad for you!
I've got my own journal now, so you won't be seeing any more entries from me in here. I'll leave you to your own pathetic thoughts.
Oh, and Kai? You won't have to deal with me for very much longer. I'll be my own seperate entity soon. You can thank Cree for that, brilliant boy, although I see you don't understand that... scumbag? Dirty b*****d? Maybe he is, but oh, if only you knew...
Cree played a song for me the other day... I found these lyrics rather interesting and thought you might think the same.
I am your mirror image,
I'm all you left behind
You made me what I am,
Then who the hell am I?
Who am I? Your anger, your lust, your resentment, your greed... so many features you've tried to supress, Kai. Pent up... the strength was so great that I was created. Or something like that, really, I'm no scientist.
Unfortunately for you, all those things are going to come back, and I'll be around to harass you. Everyone pays for their mistakes, and you too must pay for yours.
(From here on out, all entries made by Ren or Crevan will be in Ren's journal, and all entries made by Kai will be in her own diary, unless otherwise specified.)
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 8:40 pm
March 23rd, 2007 - 4:15 PM
This is Ren's journal, but I decided to make the first entry, since she's... preoccupied right now.
She just called to make sure I've still got that stuffed coyote. Apparently Kai went crazy with rage when she found out that it was missing, which, of course, let Ren through. Moron.
Good thing Ren won't have to deal with her for much longer. She'll be bunking with me, and fun shall be had. Ha!
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 12:03 am
March 24th, 2007 - 1:27 PM
Things are so boring around here. I only have so much time to spend with Cree, and then I have to get back to Kai's place since I'm not strong enough to take control of the body for too long. Gods, if he'd hurry up and work out the details on me getting my own body... but I disgress.
We haven't quite figured out what to do with that stuffed coyote yet. Throwing it away seems so blah. Cree mentioned setting it on fire, which earned him a smack upside the head from me. Really, how much more cliched can you get? I'm trying to work on an extravagant way of destroying it. Meanwhile, it's sitting in the closet. He's not keen on leaving it out in his apartment. Poor boy, insecure in his masculinity... funny, I'd never seen him in that light before. He's usually pretty confident. Rawr.
Kai's getting stronger, I think. Sometimes I can feel my grip on reality slipping away, as if she's pulling through. I swear my fur started turning a little bit purple the other night. I had to stop what I was doing so that I could concentrate on keeping my control.
I'm curious, though... how much can she do? Is she gaining the ability to see through my eyes? I might take that stuffed animal back to her apartment and hide it to try and test this theory.
Or maybe I'm giving her too much credit. Who knows?
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 12:13 am
March 24th, 2007 - 2:30 PM
Booooooring.
I'm in Kai's apartment right now. As soon as I got here, I stuck that stupid coyote in one of the kitchen cabinets, hidden in the back behind some pots. I'll give her 24 hours to find it and if she doesn't, I'll take it back to Cree's.
Probably time to let her come back through. I'll hide the journal, too, although I doubt calm little Kai would do anything to it.
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 12:23 am
March 24th, 2007 - 3:02 PM
Pipit!
I don't know how, but I've gained the ability to watch what Ren does. It's the weirdest feeling, seeing things without feeling anything, if that makes any sense. I have no control over the body... I can't feel what she does... but I can see it. So strange.
But Pip is back! I don't know why she brought her back, but I saw Ren bring her back from Crevan's place and stick her in the cabinet. Is she testing me? I don't know, but I'm happy to have her back.
I took a nap once I found her, holding her in my arms. It's weird to have such a strong emotional attachment to a toy, but really, Pip is something special. I've been having flashes of memories... images of a shop, getting stronger and more detailed. I think it's related to Pip, so I'm going to try and find it sometime.
In half an hour, I'm going to a friend's house. She's going to keep Pip safe for me so that Ren can't take her again. She doesn't know about Ren (I don't want to come off as insanely crazy, no pun intended) so I told her I'm watching the neighbor's puppy and that I'm worried he'll chew her up.
My neighbor doesn't even have a puppy. I feel bad for lying, but right now, it seems like the only way.
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 12:27 am
March 25th, 2007 - 2:52 AM
Damn, Kai's more clever than I thought. Cree is pissed that we lost it to her, but oh well, I figure I can always... cheer him up.
On the bright side, he said he's just about figured out how to get me into my own body. Hurray! No more of this boring s**t!
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 9:33 pm
March 25th, 2007 - 9:27 PM
I finished the piece of Pip as a live coyote. It looks great, better than I've ever done before, and I credit that to the fact that Pip brings out so many emotions in me. Now I've just been doodling with her beside me.
Guess what? My neighbor adopted a puppy! How strange is that? She's so adorable, a little border collie pup he named Snow. The story is rather sad... Nic (my neighbor) found her on the side of the road, along with her brother. He took them home and cared for them until they were strong enough for new homes.
Snow's brother's new home is with me.
Oh, I really shouldn't have, but he's so adorable and just attached themselves to me. Nic was the one to make the suggestion and, well, damn, I'm just not all that strong willed! I know border collies are a handful, but I'm sure I can do it.
He's is black and white with a few freckles on the top of his muzzle. He's curious and outgoing, but not overtly rambunctious like many pups can be. In keeping with his sister's name (Nic's girl, that is), I named him Rain.
He really likes Pip, and is surprisingly trustworthy around her. Not once has he chewed on her, just sniffed and licked.
I took a few pictures earlier and figured I should stick them in here, for memory's sake. Pups grow up quickly!
That's Nic's girl, Snow.
My boy, Rain, waiting patiently for a treat. He's amazingly well behaved.
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 11:11 pm
Meeting Carl, along with a drastic change...
[x]
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