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 Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 1:27 am
I'm not good at super detailed, but if I had a quest I'd want any sort of input so hope you don't mind XD<33
Considering the Ever Seed, I thought it was good but then Platy brought up Varun's essence and it kinda soured it for me unfortunately. I can see how it's different, but it's also pretty similar in other respects. As for the other raevans, those are plant souls, not essences, so I wouldn't think it should effect you.
Considering the Diamond Rain...I don't get it...sorry D": Most essences, the corruption comes from a myth (mermaid's tears) or a common phrase (cloud of despair) or a physical attribute (liquid aurora - sorry to use mine, I just couldn't think of another off the top of my head - I always thought aurora look like water colors on the sky, that's where my idea came from) or just funny oddities (forceful mistletoe, reverse coffee). Not that it has to make sense of course! The storm can corrupt anything. I'm just giving you what I felt when I read it. For me, diamond rain just doesn't have any real purpose I suppose? You mention something about a myth with angel tears which 1) I've never heard of it, but it would help the essence if there was one but that would lead to 2) being -really- similar to Sevilin. I think it's promising to do something with diamond because that would be pretty, or do something with rain, but idk if the both together are really amazing? Plus since you said it's just backup you might be best off just scrapping it?
I really amazingly love the Butterfly and Fennec souls, but agree with the played-out tune of waiwaiJapan! If you're looking for a plant soul though, possibly check out some other flowers? Sakura aren't the only white and pink. What about some plumeria?
Though I would think pairing an ever seed with a plant would be...mother nature over-kill lolol
So err, that's what I felt when I was reading it :3 I think you have a lot of great ideas, definitely promising ~ If you ever want to bounce ideas with someone, I'm always available <3
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 8:34 am
Hey kitten! Thanks for giving me a critique! :D <3 I really, really appreciate it
With yours and Platy's critiques I'm going to heavily revise and revamp the Ever Seed and Diamond Rain Fel Essence's :] Hopefully they'll come out better then their originals. ^^
Thanks! I really think the Butterfly/Fennec souls would create for some really diverse Raevans if put into creation. :DDD
I'm also going to scrap the Cherry Blossom Tree as a soul essence and put Allora on the back burner until I find a soul that would match with her personality.
I'm definitely down for idea bouncing or just general discussions about things. ^^ If you have AIM or MSN and the offer is open, I'll definitely swap users with you. PM me with yours? Or just comment in here and I'll PM you mine? Idk how to go about it. xDD
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:24 am
Originals Ever Seed Fel Essence This fel essence was found out in the forests surrounding Durem, on one of the many rollings hills. If a picture could be taken of it, in between mutations, one would see a normal seed. Wait. Mutations you say? Why yes, this particular seed seems to be constantly changing between many plant forms, though it seems to be limited to flowers and small plants only. Watching it is quite entertaining as it grows extremely fast to a single perfect flower specimen, though it has many different unknown hybrids in it's flower collection, before collapsing back down into it's seed form to repeat the process by growing back into another, different flower. How this came to be has yet to be seen. Diamond Rain Fel Essence The common conception of rain is that wet stuff that falls from the sky in droplets; usually resulting in very pissed off cats and soaked bikers, right? This rain cloud didn’t seem to get the memo. Experiencing a change under the influences of The Storm, the rain that falls from this roving storm is not droplets of water, but droplets of what seems to be perfectly faceted diamonds coming to Gaia in a steady drizzle of valuables. Thankfully, the cloud seems to be contained to the outskirts of popular Gaia cities, in the wilderness and deserts, and doesn’t have too much attention from Gaians; appreciated so that people don’t follow it building up sizeable fortunes and turmoil. Though a fable does seem to circle about diamonds falling from the sky like angel’s tears... Revamp's ??? (Name Undecided) Fel Essence Tilled earth left unattended by man is eventually reclaimed by the wilderness, as climbers of grass and weeds work their way in. This small patch of land, originally intended for a small farming of strawberries by a family long moved away, was left fallow after a final tilling but seems to be exhibiting growth of a different kind. The soil has no weeds, no grass, but is sprouting flowers of all kinds, colors, and shapes - even some never seen before to the human eye. Upon evaluation of the earth, there's no seeds creating these beautiful specimens, and no reason for their spontaneous and sporadic growths. Radiant Diamond Fel Essence Diamonds are always known for their luster and ability to shine in the right light. This diamond, though, seems to contain it's own radiance. Always shining brightly and gloriously, in that perfect manner associated with a sparkling gemstone, this perfectly faceted diamond needs no shaft of light or perfectly positioned angle to gleam.
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 10:09 am
For names of the undecided fel essence, I've came up with:
Flourishing Fallow Ground
Unknown Flowerings
It seems the creativity muse I use when coming up with names has run dry because those stink so bad. xDDD Help?
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 12:42 pm
Hey, awesome revamp! I'd use Flourishing Fallow, myself. :3 I believe the word 'fallow' can also be used as a noun, so you can get the alliteration without having to break anything up.
And either soul idea would be totally awesome with that. I wonder about the fox, though, since Toshi is a kitsune... I love the idea of a fennec fox, and the butterfly idea is also splendid, but I wonder... there's a lot of animals that haven't been used at all yet! A lot of underwater life, insects, canids, rodents, etc... anything else striking your fancy? Butterflies have beautiful wings, but so do some species of dragonflies... there's a lot out there!
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 1:31 pm
Hey Atma! :D
Thanks! I was hoping that the revamp would work be a little more understandable and liked. =] And thank you for your fel name submission! ^^
I've wondered the same thing actually, in reference to Toshi. But I think the coloring and ears will set it apart. Along with the kitsune being more of a basis in myth. I have many more souls that I'm interested though, that I'll probably put up either later tonight or sometime soon. As a teaser, I really like bush babies, flying squirrels, gray/timber wolf, and more. I just didn't want to spam my soul section with the multitude of animals I liked. x'D
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 1:54 pm
OMFG FLYING SQUIRREL! heart heart heart heart heart
*ahem* I mean, I'll look forward to seeing what you come up with!
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 2:19 pm
@Atma
Hahaha
Yesss
Flying squirrels are so cute/epic. And they way they attach themselves to a person: d'awww.
Added a new soul! Jerboa!! <3 <3 <3
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Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 3:51 am
The Jerboa and the Flying Squirrel are AMAZING ideas, I love them! <33
I have two things:
1) Your essence hasn't really changed lol. I like the seed better for some reason, but honestly they both do the same thing. Have you considered like...Fertilizing Salt? Going off the history that people used to sew salt into their enemies fields to kill and destroy their crops - this corrupted salt seems to fertilize the ground, bringing life to whatever ground it's sprinkled upon. There's even flowers blooming that humans have never seen before! Or something like that.
2) Maybe you should steer from diamonds? There's SO many diamond essences...What if you did a diamond for the soul though? That would be really cool. A flower essence combined with the diamond soul. She'd be so girly! And materialistic ;D
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Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 6:04 am
Kitten's suggestion of fertilising salt actually works really nicely in my brain. It's very creative and original if you ask me. :D It's one of those essences that works on a slightly higher 'scientific' level - like the self-replicating virus or the independent bioluminescence. Those essences in my opinion stand out as really clever. /showers praise upon Kitten. It'd allow you to work in Anthokinesis (which I know you love like woah) and it'd also give you nifty other elements to sift in - like a salty tasting raevan. /shot. I think you should definitely consider it. Even if you don't replace flowering fallow with it, I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to snag the concept. P:
I mentioned a diamond soul too via MSN. BD Great minds think alike Kitten. /mauled.
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Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:19 am
*agrees with the above sentiments* kitten y u so kewl. D: Honestly, though, I think that'd be a really clever way of getting your Anthokinesis in without punching people in the face with plant powaaaahs. XD Plus, if you were still into the idea of having a flower as your soul, then it wouldn't be plant-overload?
8D Still liking the Jerboa and flying squirrel, myself!
Also agreeing with the diamond sentiments. People are really into diamonds for some reason, but I think there's a lot more interesting elements to work with out there. And souls to capture. :3 Keep at it, you've got some really interesting things going!
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Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 12:18 pm
Oooh. I'm glad people really like my Jerboa and Flying Squirrel ideas. :'D
@kitten
Oh? I was trying to make it more relevant in the sense of physical changes. Fallow ground is meant to have nothing growing in it, and since it was a fruit field I thought it would create a double meaning. xD But! I really like that idea. Once I get home I'll have to flesh out an idea like that. Thanks for the idea! I really enjoy it. ^-^ And are there? I only found one diamond essence in the registry but I think I get what you mean. I'm considering making it a soul but I haven't decided completely on it. I'm on the fence. xD
@Platy
Noted! :'D
@Atma
Your point about mixing it with a flower and not overloading on the plant-ness is true. This sells me more on the Fertilizing Salt idea. 8D Though I am starting to like the Jerboa/Fennec/Flying Squirrel ideas a whole lot as well. Wolf souls are also appealing to me. xD And thanks for the good vibes! ^^ We should swap MSN or AIM users sometime soon :D
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Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:32 pm
Decommissioned Essences ??? (Name Undecided) Fel Essence Tilled earth left unattended by man is eventually reclaimed by the wilderness, as climbers of grass and weeds work their way in. This small patch of land, originally intended for a small farming of strawberries by a family long moved away, was left fallow after a final tilling but seems to be exhibiting growth of a different kind. The soil has no weeds, no grass, but is sprouting flowers of all kinds, colors, and shapes - even some never seen before to the human eye. Upon evaluation of the earth, there's no seeds creating these beautiful specimens, and no reason for their spontaneous and sporadic growths. Radiant Diamond Fel Essence Diamonds are always known for their luster and ability to shine in the right light. This diamond, though, seems to contain it's own radiance. Always shining brightly and gloriously, in that perfect manner associated with a sparkling gemstone, this perfectly faceted diamond needs no shaft of light or perfectly positioned angle to gleam. New Essence Fertilizing Salt Fel Essence Salt has been known for many things, including being used to eradicate crops or to destroy a patch of farmable land; causing it to be unsustainable for plant life for some time. This salt though, corrupted by the storm - or should I say enhanced, has taken on the completely opposite trait. Fertilizing whatever patch of land it is sprinkled on, new life is brought into existence; flowers never even seen before have been spotted blooming in it's stead. Sprinkling it on preexisting plant-life strengthens and enhances its standing, causing crops to bear more for harvest, and for flowers to grow bigger and more vibrantly in coloration.
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Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:43 pm
How's that, my loving critique-ers? 8D <3 <3
((Also - going home for the weekend for a break from college life and it's stresses. D< I'll be home Sunday and will probably respond then, as my parents house doesn't have internet access; unless I go to a friends and bum internet there. Thank you all for helping me! I appreciate this a whole lot! :D <3))
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Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 11:01 pm
I like the write-up for the salt XD<3
For me, saying that it's ground that doesn't flower but now flowers because of the storm kinda is like...oh, now it's just normal soil again - if you know what I mean.
If you wanted to go that direction you could consider what kind of soil doesn't produce life ever? Maybe do something like a Blossoming Stone - since rock isn't a great location to plant, but this rock seems to sprout life without sustenance. It's like the ever seed but as a rock instead of a seed?
rofl Thanks Platy :3 Yea, I would love to see someone with a diamond soul - it would be sooo pretty and give a lot of versatility for personality and RP *would love to see a snooty materialistic raevan*
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