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 Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 12:03 am
Astro flicked an ear as Hothead yelled at him the first time, waiting for the normal Blitzwing to follow up as he always did. He was really beyond unsettled at this point, more like worried, a bit miffed and...afraid. There was something he didn't feel very often, fear. He could take on a pack of wolves without even batting an eyelash, but the thought of losing Blitzwing because of this problem he so strongly denied scared him. When had he become so attached to the smaller dragon? Sure, he was pretty much his only way of getting food and if Blitzwing were to leave him on his own Astrotrain would undoubtedly perish eventually. But there was something else there, an emotional attachment. He didn't want to be alone-no, he didn't want to be without Blitzwing specifically. No other dragon would do, it had to be this crazy mountainer with the three voices.
Once again Hothead belted out at Astro, though there was something a bit odd about the command, like the other personality had somehow taken over as well. But before Astro's mind could even begin to formulate the ways that was weird, Blitzwing's tail was against him yet again. This time he actually noticed it and it seemed to calm his mind a bit. Blitzwing was right, he should just focus on the fact that he had a meal before him and leave all these questions for a better time. With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, he moved back to their kill and put a paw on it, "Yeah, alright, I'll eat. Don't gotta yell."
That was better, no more brooding thoughts for Astro. For now anyways. Just as he was about to sink his teeth into the deer's midsection he couldn't help but notice the smile on Blitzwing's face and how strange it was to see the usually stoic personality showing some kind of emotion. Refusing to let himself go into another round of worried thinking, Astro quickly tore into the doe's hide, forcing himself to think only on filling his stomach.
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Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 7:54 am
One deer would not be enough to keep two active dragons such as themselves fed for long, unfortunately. That meant that later, Blitzwing would have to catch something else. Not that that bothered him. Hunting didn't take that much work, did it? The only problem was that his shouting would often scare the deer away, making them harder to catch. He wouldn't mind a challenge, though. It kept his mind off his disturbing feelings.
The thought that he might be frightening Astro never crossed his mind, and if it had, he would have dismissed it out of hand as a thought from Random. Astro, afraid of something? Never! He was the very image of strength and courage! And besides, except to cowardly fleshlings insects, Blitzwing wasn't that frightening...or to people he didn't like...or to inferiors...or subordinates...Well, a lot of people, but not Astrotrain.
Blitzy stretched himself out as he watched Astro, making sure that his friend got the serving he deserved. "I'll have to go hunting later tonight," he said calmly. "One deer won't feed boass of us." Parts of his face were twinging. What he wouldn't give for a medic to help with the bruises...oh well. He would have to live with his wounds. Served him right for misjudging the leap. "We should find a shelter to rest in to conserve our energy, I sink."
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Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 9:35 am
Astrotrain's mind was solely concentrated on devouring what could be their last meal for a while. Even if Blitzwing did hunt again soon, there was no telling when he'd have another successful hunt. He was grateful for the simple thought process that still somehow demanded the full attention of his mind. It gave him a break from his troublesome thoughts and helped to shed some of the stress they seemed to be bringing. Their situation was stressful enough, after all, didn't need to add onto it with something that, in all honesty, could be absolutely nothing to worry over in the end.
He was so intent on his current task that Astro nearly missed what Blitzy was saying. But only nearly, and he was once again wishing he were of the smaller breed of dragon, or at least had the same needs as one. It always seemed like Blitzwing was doing all of the work. All Astro was good for was finishing off a kill or fending off the very rare foolhardy predator that thought either of them a meal. But it felt like Blitzwing was always hunting, like he never got a break from working to keep the two of them alive. And Primus dammit, he was doing that thinking thing again, even while he was eating.
With a low, aggravated grumble he pulled himself away from the kill, his white face stained with the deer's blood. Undoubtedly his face would be pink for a while, but at least Blitzy never made snide remarks about it like some of the others from the pack used to. Unless, of course, Random decided to chime in with some ridiculous comment, but who listened to him anyways?
"Probably a good idea." Astrotrain responded to his companion's last remark and turned to him, wincing a bit as he saw the other's face. Hints of bruises were already starting to show and the areas where he had been hit were starting to swell up as well. As least now if Random did decide to make a comment about his own face he could easily throw one right back, "Damn, that deer really got you..."
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Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 5:09 pm
Blitzy's face twinged uncomfortably with the force of Random trying to crawl out of his mouth. Not as a voice, however--but as a tongue. Astro's face was covered in blood from the doe, and Blitzy longed to lick it off. He couldn't help himself. I can't go against ze instinct--I shall have to go vis it. Refusing to allow himself a sigh of any sort, self-pity or embarrassment, Blitzwing stepped forward and stood up a little on his back paws to reach the huge Northerner's face, licking away the gore with his tongue. His face was getting warm with embarrassment, but he didn't stop until the red had faded to pink. It would last for a little while, until Astrotrain could clean his face off with water or some other, better solvent. "Much better," he murmured, begrudgingly letting Random slither out to add, "It just goes vis your fur!!"
Pretending he hadn't said that, Blitzy turned towards the deer. There was still some food left on it--enough to keep him going when he went hunting later. His feelings were mixed on that--on the one hand, Astro hadn't had his fill. He needed far more food than Blitzy did. On ze ozer paw...he left some for me. He felt his spark flare with warmth. "I couldn't find anozer, better companion zan you. Sank you. I vouldn't be able to get zis far visout you, Astrotrain." Those were the words he wanted to say. He wanted desperately to have the courage to--oh, slag. He had said them out loud. Murmured them, but...Oh, slaaag. Vhat vill he sink now?
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Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 7:13 pm
Astro stared at his companion with a bit of confusion as he neared him and started to lick his face. This was....awkward. Not uncomfortable, just unusual, unexpected. He had never had another dragon clean his face after a meal before. Most others weren't comfortable enough with him to do such a thing. His first instinct was to pull away, mostly out of surprise, but he ignored that. Instead, he listened to the second thought that came to him; the one that said just sit there, enjoy the warmth of Blitzwing's tongue against his skin. And he was, so very much, and the moment he realized that his face burst into flames of embarrassment. He tried to act as if there was nothing wrong, as if he weren't feeling strangely over this moment and once Blitzy was done simply mumbled, "Uh...Thanks."
He watched the Seeker as he turned to their kill, not exactly sure what to think. Was he just feeling so awkwardly because this was a behavior he had missed out on or was there some other reason? Or was he just completely overreacting for no good reason whatsoever? And just as he was about to settle on the latter reason he caught Blitzwing's words and he felt uncomfortable again. But this was different. First Blitzy spends all day acting weird and making him worry and now he was spewing sentimental crap? Something was coming, Astro could feel it, and he didn't think it was going to be something good. Were his previous fears about to come true? Did Blitzwing think himself too much of a burden on Astro that he'd be better off leaving the big northerner?
Astro was beginning to feel panicked. He didn't want Blitzy to leave him, he didn't want to be alone. But he had to calm down, he couldn't overreact. He didn't know Blitzwing was leaving, he was just assuming that. Taking a deep breath, he cleared his mind and tried to ignore those worries as best he could, "Hey, it's a team effort." He wasn't sure if Blitzy could hear it, but he could. His voice was off, not shaky, but it certainly wasn't it's usual confident self, "I'd have joined the well of sparks a long time ago without you..."
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Posted: Sat Jun 26, 2010 11:15 pm
There was no way Astrotrain could see into Blitzwing's mind, but if he could, he'd know that the seeker's spark had flared brightly at that comment. He couldn't live visout me, just like I couldn't do visout him. He...cares for me. He was filled with hope all of a sudden, a hope that, while he knew should be brief, he couldn't help but want to nurture. No, he reminded himself sadly, only Astro can nurture zat. Only he can decide... He would have to give him that decision, then. Later. For now, he was tired with the effort of trying to hunt twice in a day.
With the deer finished off, Blitzy curled in a ball on the ground, his mind in turmoil over...well, everything. Astro was worried about him, wasn't he? Why was he worried? Had he noticed that Blitzy was acting strange all of a sudden? Does he know zat I love him? Vhat vill he do vhen he finds out? Vill he abandon me? Blitzy shuddered violently and squeezed his eyes shut tighter, trying to fend off that idea. No. Astro wouldn't leave him. He as good as just said it. He can't survive visout me hunting for him. He needs me. And I...I need him. "I...von't let you go to ze Vell of All Sparks," Blitzy replied. "Not vhile I'm around." Please don't leave me for saying zat...
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Posted: Sat Jun 26, 2010 11:54 pm
Not while he was around. So then Blitzwing wasn't going to leave? He really had overreacted. Astrotrain allowed himself a quite sigh of relief, though hopefully not enough of one for Blitzy to notice. Looking down at the now curled up mountainer, he caught the shudder that was a result of Blitzwing's unpleasant thoughts. Even for a short-furred dragon who had spent most of his time in the north it was pretty cold, and that's what Astro assumed the shudder was from. Certainly not willing to let his companion freeze to death in the middle of the night, Astro laid down next to Blitzy and scooted close to him, 'Well then, I'll make sure you don't either."
In his mind, he tried to deny the fact that he was trying to keep Blitzwing close because a small part of him was still afraid he would leave. Even though it didn't sound like he planned on doing so any time soon, Astro was still scared he would; maybe in the middle of the night when he was dead asleep Blitzwing would silently slip away and Astro would never see him again. Blitzy was stealthy like that, and Astrotrain wasn't really the lightest sleeper either. Thinking about this, Astro realized he probably wouldn't sleep much tonight, he'd be too busy making sure Blitzy was still there...
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Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 9:19 am
Blitzwing only intended to sleep briefly and had hoped to wake up later so that he could hunt and feed before laying down to sleep, but intentions are fickle things that reality never listens to. He was more tired than he thought, and as he drifted into slumber, he felt something warm settle against his back. Astro. Hope flared; he tried to push it back. He needs me for food, nussing else. He's keeping me varm because he needs me for food. It was difficult for him to think of a more depressing thought than simply being a food-provider for someone he felt so deeply for. I love you more than you vill probably ever love me--how can I explain zat to you? Unable to do anything more than wriggle closer to his companion, Blitzy fell asleep.
It was hard to think of a more depressing thing, but not impossible. When the mountain dragon woke up, it was after the same memory returned as a dream once again, and, lost in the cool dark, he could almost believe that his own spark had gone out and joined the Well. Panicky, Blitzy stood up and looked around desperately. All was not exactly quiet in the late-night woods, but it was quiet enough to fuel Blitzwing's worry. No! Astro! Where was he?! Where was Astro?! Had Blitzwing died, only to leave, once more, loved ones behind? Where could--there he was, still lying on the ground where he had been laying when they fell asleep. Unable to control himself as all three of his personalities fought for dominance, Blitzy through himself at Astro, clinging to his ribs with his front legs as he nuzzled into his chest fur, trembling.
Later reflection would decide that Random had been the victor; unsurprising, he would suppose not long after he figured that out, for when Icy and Hothead clashed, it was always Random that came out on top and got the other two to stop fighting. But he didn't realize that for now. What he realized for now was that it was cold and dark out there, but Astro was warm, and inside his chest, Blitzy could hear his spark pulse with life. And that was the most important thing.
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Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 10:06 am
He hadn't fallen asleep, not at all. Astro was just resting his eyes. Nothing more.....Okay, so maybe he had started to drift off, but he was certainly awake now that Blitzwing was clinging desperately to him. The sudden jolt to his senses led Astro to follow instinct before his mind even had time to process anything, which nearly resulted in Blitzy losing a good chunk of flesh from his shoulder. Thankfully, he realized that he wasn't being attacked just in time to avoid that fate. However, he was even more confused now that he knew it was Blitzy that had latched on to him and not some stupid predator.
His first thought was that perhaps there was a predator lurking nearby in the darkness, though why that would cause Blitzy to suddenly cling to him, he wasn't really sure. And after a short moment of listening, there weren't any signs of that being true either. So what was it...? Did he have a nightmare or something? Did it have something to do with the strange behavior he'd been showing all day? Well, there was only one way to find out, "Blitzwing, the Pit is going on?"
That....really wasn't how he meant to go about this. Astro was genuinely concerned for Blitzy, it was just that showing that was something Astro really had trouble with. He was a tough guy, he didn't show weak emotions like that. But he had to let Blitzwing know how he felt in some way and...well, while he hadn't meant to keep the Seeker this close, it was rather nice. So what was the harm in wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer? He would be showing Blitzy how worried he was, right? Besides, he certainly wasn't going anywhere he was caught in Astro's strong embrace and that was helping to quell the fears that continued to nag at the Brander relentlessly.
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Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 2:20 pm
Blitzy returned the tight hug that Astro gave him, despite his harsh-seeming words, and snuggled deeper into the brander's chest. Now that he felt himself so hard against the northerner, he found that he couldn't explain it. The dream had been vivid, as vivid as the day it had happened...And zey curled up and zeir sparks...No! I can't sink of zat, not now! Not vhile I'm curled up vis Astrotrain...Besides, zat is a story I might share vis my mate...maybe...but Astro isn't...he might never...
Or would he? In this position, he might never get another chance. The nightmare had swamped his fears, turning them into one sloshing maelstrom of emotion, the waves hitting the sides so hard that emotions fell out, and, on contact with the outside world, hardened into courage. The way Astro was holding him against his spark, the way Astro was trying to figure out what was going on in such a way that implied that he wanted to help and soothe... Icy said there was no other chance he could get. Hothead said go for it. Random said why not?
Now or never. Primus, please help me! "I...I had a bad dream..." he said slowly, staring fixedly at Astro's neck as he tried to summon the right words to explain, to push it out. "I've been nervous lately, Astro, and I know I've been making you...nervous as vell. And I'm sorry. I haven't meant to make you upset. It's just...I...I...love...you, Astrotrain..." he said slowly, drawing it out. It drew the courage out, and it flooded in with a rush. "I don't know how long, and I know you probably von't vant to be wiss me, but I love ze vay you are alvays confident, and I love ze vay you...care about me..." The courage was no longer sloshing around. All Blitzwing could do as all the fear separated into the old fear and the new fear once more was to lie there in Astrotrain's arms and pray to Primus that Astro's emotions reflected his own. Please, Primus...
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Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 3:27 pm
That was not at all what he was expecting to hear. Blitzwing was in love with him? When did that happen? How did it happen? And how did Astro not notice? Once he had started to think about it, there were signs, albeit ones that could have easily been mistaken for other things, but they were there nonetheless; the way Blitzwing's tail kept touching him, the way he had cleaned Astro's face, just the overall strangeness. Accidents? Instincts? But when joined with that strangeness and what he had just heard it was pretty clear now.
And now Astro's fears had all dissolved away because now he knew what was wrong with Blitzy and he knew he could fix it. And quite easily too. Because even though he wasn't expecting it and in spite of Blitzwing's own fears, Astrotrain didn't feel awkward or disgusted or anything of the sort at this news. In fact, he was happy. Truly happy because he now realized that he had found someone who actually cared about him. Someone who wasn't put off by his don't-give-a-damn attitude or the reputation his earlier years had earned him. And not only that, but Blitzy was the first dragon that he did actually give a damn about. He cared about Blitzy and perhaps he didn't realize it until now because he was so unfamiliar with it but he loved him as well.
As this all slowly started to dawn on him, the Brander couldn't hold back a single, quiet chuckle. They were a mess, the pair of them. Blitzy couldn't control his emotions and Astro simply didn't understand or even recognize his own. He wasn't really sure how that worked, but it had for the past two years so what was stopping it from doing so now? Nothing, that's what. Except maybe Astro's romantic ignorance. He didn't return the Seeker's words, he didn't say "I love you, too" as would be expected. He simply continued to hold Blitzy close and gave a low, quiet rumble deep in his chest. It was really the best he could manage.
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Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 3:11 pm
Astro smiled--he smiled! He didn't say anything, but he smiled and continued to hold Blitzy close. Blitzy stared into his eyes, trying to read them. The front half of his brain needed to read him, needed to know exactly how he felt in every way, explicitly, without a doubt, even if the back of his mind knew exactly what was meant, knew what the low, comforting rumble meant. It meant that he felt the same way. It meant that Blitzwing was foolish to have ever thought that he wouldn't be cared for by the dragon who had guarded and guided him this whole way--had helped him keep what sanity he could. He owed Astro so much, and now, now he knew that Astrotrain was his.
KNOW?! VE DON'T KNOW ZAT HE IS OURS!! VE MUST HAVE PROOF!! He was truly calming down if Hothead had decided to be outspoken just now. And, to some extent, he did want proof. The front half of his brain was teetering, it was unstable. He wanted to hear those words, know that he could relax now, know that he would not tumble into the dark abyss he still felt yawning, distantly, beneath his paws. Blitzy nuzzled his way into Astro's fur, even deeper than before. How could he ask? how could he ask such an obvious question? Leave it until morning. If it vas just a dream...maybe zis vay it vill hurt less. If it vas not a dream, zen perhaps zis vill feel better, to know zat I know him vell enough to know how he feels. With that, Blitzy gave a purr of relief and closed his eyes sleepily, content to be with the dragon he loved.
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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 4:22 pm
It was obvious that Blitzwing's mind was racing, searching for some definite, solid answer. It made Astro feel a pang of guilt, made him curse his stubborn inability to show deep emotions, even to someone he truly cared for. But Astro couldn't help it, it was too deeply rooted into his being, into who he was, to change. For now. With time he would be able to say how he felt to Blitzy, he would make an effort to be sure of that. But for now, this would have to do, just laying there, holding the Seeker close and continuing to make his low, grumbling sound.
And this seemed to work. The searching look in Blitzwing's eyes seemed to fade a bit and he snuggled closer. Astro was certain that his love hadn't quite found the comfort he was looking for and he would need to find some way to satisfy that search. Even if he had to suck up his pride and just say it, he would. But that wasn't his first option, he would try something easier for him first, something that didn't require so much....emotion. Though, what exactly he wasn't sure and he wasn't going to think about it any more tonight. He was tired and couldn't fight of sleep any longer. With a soft sigh, one that was both conflicted and content, he curled tighter around Blitzwing to keep the cold from effecting the smaller dragon and closed his eyes to join him in sleep.
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