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 Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 8:47 pm
[Insert for interview with Aelius]
To better understand his personality.
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Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 8:47 pm
[- flails arms -] U-Uhm uhm I-I'mma attempt because you asked me to! @ A@
Aelius, you say, is a young man who knows restraint. However, it makes me ponder if that covers his honesty and perfectionism as well. From what I read, it definitely doesn't for the latter. If his Restraint doesn't cover those two, would it be possible to elaborate more on what he is tolerant( Totally not the right word ) about?
...What I mean to say is: How willing to stand down is Aelius when faced with different situations? Does he himself see how well he restains himself or not?
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Questionable Shapeshifter
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Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 7:14 am
How do I say this...
Aelius's goal is perfection through and through.
However, he knows when to stop and let something go.
The restraint is mostly for physical tasks and objects.
He doesn't seem to be able to restrain his desire to be perfect.
In a team setting, Aelius would think of others more than himself. He would want to do perfect and gain praise, but it's also imperative that there are no unnecessary injuries and/or deaths.
Because having no casualties could also be considered perfect.
It really depends on the situation. ^^'
I'll think on it a bit.
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Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 7:46 am
[- fidgets -] I did good? o Ao
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Questionable Shapeshifter
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Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 7:59 am
Yes. Because you pointed out a conflicting part in his personality.
C:
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Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 8:01 am
Phwee~ [- snuggles Sheep Koco -] > u<
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Questionable Shapeshifter
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Questionable Shapeshifter
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Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 11:45 am
@Restraint bit- Hrm...A little short and choppy in explaination, but it gets to the point and makes it clear so it's understood. I likes it :'D
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Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 11:49 am
xDD <3
I'll smooth it out with an iron later.
C:
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 6:26 am
His father died shortly after returning from honeymoon with his mother. I assume this means Aelius never knew his father? How has never knowing his father affected Aelius? Does he imagine him to be a saint compared to his mother? Believe whatever stories his mother tells about him? Does he suspect foulplay by his mother? What reason has she given for why his father died, or has he really never asked? (I'm assuming his mother was pregnant either before the honeymoon or during? This should be clarified. Also, saying the details of his death are unknown comes off lazy writing. If you are going to kill off an essential family member, these issues really should be addressed.)
Does his mother have any redeeming values, or is she just a straight-up villain in his life?
Two writing nitpicks:
You use 'the male' as an alternative to 'he' or 'Aelius' and whenever it comes up, I first read it as 'the male (of the species)'. I would really recommend just using 'he' or 'Aelius' as it will flow much better.
Another reading issue- NPCs are best referred to by their relationship to the character in the main profile as the reader has no idea who these people are until they reach the family section. Or, at the very least, write "Meryl, his mother" to clarify it to the reader.
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 8:06 am
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 12:07 pm
Update~
Still taking critiques.
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Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 4:51 pm
PUSHING UP TO TO THE TOPPPPP
; D
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