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 Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 4:54 pm
Thank you. =3 *takes a look at the things you pointed out, thoughtful* If you don't mind, I'll reply to you in the order they came. smile
(1) The reason I said senshi of krakens rather then THE kraken is because some myths don't know if there is only one. Though I do like the idea, so I'll definitely make that change.
(2) redface Chamberlyn is a real name, and I prefer the spelling that way.
(3) Noted, and edited. xD
(4) Actually, removing that virtue would.. help a bit. She's sweet, but she doesn't go out of her way to be that was. As for the Lioness virtue, I will try and clear up what I meant by it. Jada's vanity is the main reason she is hesitant to fight. It makes her look bad socially, and possibly physically if it goes poorly. However, she will defend what is hers without hesitation- and if you are a friend, you are hers.
I'll definitely work on that "generous" virtue, and see about editing the other details. Thank you so much, codalion (and Shaz!)
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Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:00 pm
You're welcome! Everything is just a suggestion, but I'm glad you found the personality advice helpful. smile
The Lioness thing makes more sense now -- like, she doesn't stoop to fighting unless she absolutely must?
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Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:06 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:30 pm
Edited the following:
The Lioness -- Jada dislikes the thought of combat- either verbally or physically- with someone else. There are two potential negatives to a fight- 1, it is beneath her, and someone might see; 2, she might get marked up somehow, physically. But when it comes to her friends or her family, she will stand up to whoever she needs to- however she has to.
Struck Goodhearted; replaced with:
Confident -- She's beauty and she's grace, she's elegance and taste, blah blah blah. Jada is damn lucky- beautiful, wealthy, and moderately talented- and she knows it; she holds herself to show it off. She may not always dress like your stereotypical "rich girl," often liking to "slum it" in denim and a t-shirt when she isn't spending the weekend with her mother, but she always makes sure to exude class- and security.
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Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:46 pm
Excellent, looking much better! May I ask why the name 'The Lioness'? I've been wondering; it's not a problem, it's just a reference I don't get, I'm sure! biggrin
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Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:59 pm
Mostly a pun on the fact that Leo is the Lion. Also lionesses are said to be primarily at their most aggressive in defense of their cubs- or Jada, in defense of her family/friends.
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Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 6:04 pm
Much more cleaned up now! I'll hold back on stamping until you're ready, but one last thing: "Challenge: Can't I just give you a hug instead?" -- let's make it more about the Kraken than not. smile
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Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 6:13 pm
Her challenge was a pun Maru suggested originally when she was more "giving"... cause no one wants a Kraken to give them a hug. xD;
*ponders over the challenge*
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Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 6:32 pm
Changed the challenge: Challenge: You shouldn't have woken the sleeping monster!
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Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 8:46 pm
added a few small details. ready for marking. =3
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Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2010 9:04 pm
 Lookin' good! You've made improvements on her! <3
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Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 3:24 am
I like n.n Can't wait to see her in action.
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Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 9:28 pm
!  linked for my future reference. biggrin
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