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 Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 2:07 pm
battosai matt Mistro 91 battosai matt New Recruit Matt Popek First Post Recruit M. Popek
S.T.A.R.S boot camp
Entarnce/InsideAfter what seem [seemed] like hours Matt had arrived at the S.T.A.R.S boot camp. Matt had only brought a backpack with nothing [I guess it's right but saying there's nothing doesn't make much sense] but a tooth brush, 2 bags of tooth paste,3 energy bars, his knife,and his handgun loaded along with 10 extra rounds for it. The backpack is going to be mainly used to carry items he might be told to carry by his instructor. [No need for this I don't need to know what it's for] He got off the bus to see the camp like he thought it would be an almost prision like place and the way he has seen types of boot camps in the movies. "Well this might be fun." Matt walks through the front gate to see what were probably houses. Look like the type soldiers in the army would sleep in. When he saw this he thought "Well just like the movies it seems like." Matt pulls out the notice he received about a week ago {to see who} his instructor was. "Colonel Dean Winchester is my instructor huh well I suppose there's an information office around here somewhere to tell me where he is , or where he can be found or something of the sort." Matt begains [begins] to look around all ready lost. "It said that this could be difficult for some people and look at me already lost man my sense of direction sucks oh well all I can do is give it my all and hope for the best."
It would help if when you were talking, that you made it bold. Also when you are thinking about something make it Italicized. Don't forget to bold your header, also you were suppose to make Your new Recruit first post red. Also don't tell us what things are for, like: "This backpack is so he can carry alot of items" We don't need to know this.Colonel Dean Winchester
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Coffee BreakDean leaned back in his chair as he continued reading his daily Newspaper. He just began to read the weather when his phone began to ring. "Hello what is the situation? I see don't worry I'm on my way" He glanced up to see the broken clock on the wall. "Damn, I really need to replace those batteries" Dean quickly threw his paper aside and rushed out the lunch hall doors. He was about halfway to the main office when he spotted a strange looking kid, that seemed to be looking off into space. Dean stood beside the young man as he cleared his throat. "Can I help you son?"
S.T.A.R.S boot camp
near the main officeMatt notices the man "huh oh hello I'm looking for my instructor his name is Colonel Dean Winchester do you know him or know where I might be able to find him?" Matt notices a tag that says Colonel Dean Winchester on the man. "Oh! Uh Sir! Matt Popek Reporting For Duty Sir!"Matt quickly saluted Colonel Dean Winchester "Great I already screwed up and I haven't been here very long."NO errors that I could see, Bravo My Friend Bravo. Now just continue posting like that in the Real Rp and you won't have any problems. If you slip back into your old ways though then you will be brought back here again.
Battosai Matt Has Passed Boot Camp Congratulations
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 3:47 pm
NEW RECRUIT John "Soap" MacTavishJohn "Soap" MacTavish  Recruit "John Mactavish"
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Boot Camp "Boot Camp Grounds" Soap jumped off the bus and continued playing with his issued combat knife carving a pice of wood he found before he had gotten on the bus. "So they want me at the firing range..." He said to him self reading off a list of were he was supposed to go. Soap walked around it was hot out and the sand was all ready in his boots. "The cold may suck but at least snow doesn't get in your boots..." Soap said in his Scottish accent but he used North American slang. Soap headed off to the range and found his station. "EBR M14 Sniper Rifle, MP5k SMG with Red Dot sight silencer and folding stock, and Glock 18 machine pistol with extended clip. Damn I wish you could put a silencer on a Glock..." Soap emptied a clip from each weapon at targets staying around his 10/1 hit to miss ratio with the exception of his Sniper were he stayed on his 30/2 hit to miss ratio. Soap reloaded his firearms and put his Glock in his right thigh holster his MP5k on his chest holster and slung his M14 on his back. It was evening and the sun would go down soon. The air was heavy and humid but it would cool down soon. Soap walked into the obstacle course, he'd have to run it in under 5 minutes with only his knife and pistol and hit all the red targets and not hit any green targets. "Okay lets get this over with...."
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:24 pm
(First Post)
Recruit M. Keon
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Boot Camp - Camp area
Marcus stretched his arms and got up as the bus driver had said that they have arrived. He got his bag and put it on his back.
Marcus then jumped off the bus and looked around at the camp area he then said"Seems nice...I guess".
Marcus wasn't much to be impressed by things but he can't wait till he starts trainning. He already knew his instructor but didn't
meet him yet. He yawned and walked around the boot camp seeing if anything interesting is going on. Then he just walked into
his cabin and put his bag down. Inside his bag he had a few things like picture of family, clothes etc... He then sit down on his bed.
Marcus was raither bored and didn't know what to do now. Then he decided to go see anyone from the other bus he knew.
No one..he couldn't believe no one he knew wasn't even here. Marcus just sighed and head back to his cabin again.
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:40 pm
xD4rk Fl4m3sX Recruit M. Keon
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Boot Camp - Camp areaMarcus stretched his arms and got up as the bus driver had said that they have arrived. He got his bag and put it on his back.
Marcus then jumped off the bus and looked around at the camp area he then said[You Don't need to say he said. Just talk.]"Seems nice...I guess".
Marcus wasn't much to be impressed by things but he can't[couldn't] wait till he starts trainning[training]. He already knew his instructor but didn't
meet [hadn't met] him yet. He yawned and walked around the boot camp seeing if anything interesting is[was] going on. Then he just walked into
his cabin and put his bag down. Inside his bag he had a few things like picture of family, clothes etc... He then sit [sat] down on his bed.
Marcus was raither [rather] bored and didn't know what to do now. Then [You don't need then] he [then] decided to go see [if there was] anyone from the other bus he knew.
No one..he couldn't believe no one he knew wasn't [was] even here. Marcus just sighed and head[ed] back to his cabin again. Errors in Red. You don't need to say "then he said" Just talk. Some spelling errors as well try and catch those. Colonel Dean Winchester
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Wake UpDean awoke to an abrupt screeching sound. A sound that he knew all to well. "Ah, New Recruits! Today is the day for Hell." Dean chuckled to how evil he had sounded. Dean did his regular routine: shower, teeth, and food. Dean was relaxing in his nice bubble bath when a women rushed in. "Sir, There's been an incident come quickly!!!" Dean quickly jumped out of his bath and headed toward the recruit bunkers. Kicking in the door, Dean stood in front of all the recruits naked as a jay bird. " What seems to be the problem recruits?" Dean yelled, while putting his hands on his hips.
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:01 pm
Recruit M. Keon
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Boot Camp - Eating Area
Marcus heared some chattering going on outside and stood up and walked outside. He then saw a person standing
naked and he started to laugh at him. "Man this is very disturbing". He then looked away and stumbled into the eating area or the
kitchen to be exact. Marcus then thought about passing the boot camp and was hoping to actually pass instead of just failing it.
He sat down on the chair and awaited for his food to be served. "Come on...Im hungry here". He was starting to get impatient and
Marcus wasn't one of those types to be patient.
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:07 pm
xD4rk Fl4m3sX Recruit M. Keon
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Boot Camp - Eating Area
Marcus heared some chattering going on outside and stood up and walked outside. He then saw a person standing
naked and he started to laugh at him. "Man this is very disturbing". He then looked away and stumbled into the eating area or the
kitchen to be exact. Marcus then thought about passing the boot camp and was hoping to actually pass instead of just failing it.
He sat down on the chair and awaited for his food to be served. "Come on...Im hungry here". He was starting to get impatient and
Marcus wasn't one of those types to be patient. Much better than the first one! Colonel Dean Winchester
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Naked
Dean stood in front of all the recruits and waited for an answer. To his surprise they said nothing except one who laughed at him as he walked off. "hmmm, what's wrong recruits never seen a real man before?" Dean Walked to the kitchen and sat down beside the recruit that had laughed at him earlier. "Evening recruit, say why don't you run to my bunker and get me some pants? Don't want to catch anything you know?" Dean set his keys down on the table in front of the recruit.
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Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 5:01 am
Fortune-Hunter NEW RECRUIT John "Soap" MacTavishJohn "Soap" MacTavish Recruit "John Mactavish"
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Boot Camp "Boot Camp Grounds" Soap jumped off the bus and continued playing with his issued combat knife carving a pice of wood he found before he had gotten on the bus. [Contradiction. You got off the bus, then back on again] "So they want me at the firing range..." He said to him self reading off a list of were he was supposed to go. Soap walked around [Differant sentences, finish this one] it was hot out and the sand was all ready [already] in his boots. "The cold may suck but at least snow doesn't get in your boots..." Soap said in his Scottish accent but [even though, although...] he used North American slang. Soap headed off to the range and found his station. "EBR M14 Sniper Rifle, MP5k SMG with Red Dot sight silencer and folding stock, and Glock 18 machine pistol with extended clip. Damn I wish you could put a silencer on a Glock..." Soap emptied a clip from each weapon at targets staying around his 10/1 hit to miss ratio with the exception of his Sniper were [, where] he stayed on his 30/2 hit to miss ratio. Soap reloaded his firearms and put his Glock in his right thigh holster [ , ] his MP5k on his chest holster and slung his M14 on his back. [Use a transition like 'Soon']It was evening and the sun would go down soon [soon]. The air was heavy and humid but it would cool down soon. Soap walked into the obstacle course, he'd have to run it in under 5 minutes with only his knife and pistol and hit all the red targets and not hit any green targets. "Okay lets get this over with...." No real spelling errors is good. Just need to be careful with sentence structure. Captain A. Wesker
S.T.A.R.S. Boot Camp
Observant
Night excercises were quickly underway as the first day of training turned to night. Wesker found himself now observing the recruit nicknamed Soap attempt the obstacle course for the first time. The same as other drill instructors, Wesker enjoyed watching recruits both pass and fail here. Passing let him boast since they were his recruits, while failing recruits served as comedic entertainment. Calmly he took a sip of his coffee, which tasted better on humid evenings such as this. He then looked at his stop watch, then at the recruit to make sure he only had 5 minutes on the course. "Ready...Ready...Go!"
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Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 12:55 pm
The Darc Knight Fortune-Hunter NEW RECRUIT John "Soap" MacTavishJohn "Soap" MacTavish Recruit "John Mactavish"
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Boot Camp "Boot Camp Grounds" Soap jumped off the bus and continued playing with his issued combat knife carving a pice of wood he found before he had gotten on the bus. [Contradiction. You got off the bus, then back on again] "So they want me at the firing range..." He said to him self reading off a list of were he was supposed to go. Soap walked around [Differant sentences, finish this one] it was hot out and the sand was all ready [already] in his boots. "The cold may suck but at least snow doesn't get in your boots..." Soap said in his Scottish accent but [even though, although...] he used North American slang. Soap headed off to the range and found his station. "EBR M14 Sniper Rifle, MP5k SMG with Red Dot sight silencer and folding stock, and Glock 18 machine pistol with extended clip. Damn I wish you could put a silencer on a Glock..." Soap emptied a clip from each weapon at targets staying around his 10/1 hit to miss ratio with the exception of his Sniper were [, where] he stayed on his 30/2 hit to miss ratio. Soap reloaded his firearms and put his Glock in his right thigh holster [ , ] his MP5k on his chest holster and slung his M14 on his back. [Use a transition like 'Soon']It was evening and the sun would go down soon [soon]. The air was heavy and humid but it would cool down soon. Soap walked into the obstacle course, he'd have to run it in under 5 minutes with only his knife and pistol and hit all the red targets and not hit any green targets. "Okay lets get this over with...." No real spelling errors is good. Just need to be careful with sentence structure. Captain A. Wesker
S.T.A.R.S. Boot Camp
Observant
Night excercises were quickly underway as the first day of training turned to night. Wesker found himself now observing the recruit nicknamed Soap attempt the obstacle course for the first time. The same as other drill instructors, Wesker enjoyed watching recruits both pass and fail here. Passing let him boast since they were his recruits, while failing recruits served as comedic entertainment. Calmly he took a sip of his coffee, which tasted better on humid evenings such as this. He then looked at his stop watch, then at the recruit to make sure he only had 5 minutes on the course. "Ready...Ready...Go!" ((The first one is not incorrect I said he was craving a wood he found before he got on the bus. Its past tense))
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Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 1:23 pm
NEW RECRUIT John "Soap" MacTavishJohn "Soap" MacTavish Recruit "John Mactavish"
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Boot Camp "Boot Camp obstacle course" Soap stood at the starting gate and pulled down his issued night vision goggles. Soap flipped the safety off his Glock 18 and made sure his sights were not off. The gate opened and he heard 'GO!' Soap took off and slid behind cover, and took a proper firing position firing bursts at each target the two red targets fall and the three green targets stay up. Colour was hard to tell through NV he did not hear a buzz so he just hit the red targets. Soap ran the rest of the course and finished in 3 minutes. Soap walked out of the obstacle course area and went to the viewing room. The night air was cool and the wind was getting harsh. Soap walked into the viewing room. He watched his tape of running the course he had missed one target that was hidden behind ply wood cover something he could have shot through but he didn't notice. "DAmn Soap remember check your corners..." he reminded him self. (I realize that you may think colour is spelt wrong. Its not. We spell it with a U in canada)
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Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 2:42 pm
Recruit M. Keon
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Boot Camp - Eating Area
Marcus was waiting for a while then finally the cook came with his food. "Man...this looks nice". He said sicastically.
Nothing seem to impress him at all.
He took his fork and knife and cut into the meat. He tasted it and it was alright but not that good. Marcus continued
eating his meat. Then the cook came with his drink. It was whiskey and Marcus was happy about that.
He took a sip of his drink and sat it down on the table and then kept digging into his meat. Then a couple of people
came into the cafeteria but Marcus just ignored them. Marcus wasn't interested in talking to new recruits at all.
His goal was just to graduate from the camp and be a offical S.T.A.R.S soldier.
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Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 3:19 pm
xD4rk Fl4m3sX Recruit M. Keon
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Boot Camp - Eating AreaMarcus was waiting for a while then finally the cook came with his food. "Man...this looks nice". He said sicastically.
Nothing seem to impress him at all.
He took his fork and knife and cut into the meat. He tasted it and it was alright but not that good. Marcus continued
eating his meat. Then the cook came with his drink. It was whiskey and Marcus was happy about that.
He took a sip of his drink and sat it down on the table and then kept digging into his meat. Then a couple of people
came into the cafeteria but Marcus just ignored them. Marcus wasn't interested in talking to new recruits at all.
His goal was just to graduate from the camp and be a offical S.T.A.R.S soldier. Not to many errors this time around, though you didn't follow the storyline. I sat beside you, and yet you said nothing??? Also when you speak make sure the period goes in side the " Like this "Damn, that looks like some good grub." Please repost and try your best but follow the story this time around.
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Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 3:27 pm
Recruit M. Keon
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Boot Camp - Eating Area
Marcus laughed at Dean then got up"Your one weird person Dean...". He then ran to Deans cabin
and got him his pants then ran back. He chucked Deans pants over to him and said while trying
not to laugh"So you must be my captain or whatever they call you!".
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Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 3:37 pm
xD4rk Fl4m3sX Recruit M. Keon
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Boot Camp - Eating Area
Marcus laughed at Dean then got up"Your one weird person Dean...". He then ran to Deans cabin
and got him his pants then ran back. He chucked Deans pants over to him and said while trying
not to laugh"So you must be my captain or whatever they call you!". There ya go that's better, keep up the good work. Colonel Dean Winchester
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Boot Camp - Eating Area
"The names Colonel Winchester to you boy! Thank you for my pants though I appreciate it." Dean leaned under the table and quickly pulled his pants back on. He stood up in front of the recruit at attention. "Evening recruit, now that I'm mostly dressed we may proceed on with training." Dean pointed toward the door at the other end of the room. "That is the door to freedom recruit, take it and go home. Or you may enter through the door on your right and head to the training ground. The decision is up to you, make your choice."
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Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 6:06 pm
Recruit M. Keon
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Boot Camp - Cafetira
"Heh...Ill take the door on the right". Marcus was eager to get into training straight away.
"Well shall I start training now?". He stood up and looked around the the cafetira. Marcus
was a little more impatient and really wanted to get straight into training and get the damn
boot camp training over and done with.
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Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:52 pm
xD4rk Fl4m3sX Recruit M. Keon
S.T.A.R.S Boot Camp
Boot Camp - Cafetira
"Heh...Ill take the door on the right". Marcus was eager to get into training straight away.
"Well shall I start training now?". He stood up and looked around the the cafetira. Marcus
was a little more impatient and really wanted to get straight into training and get the damn
boot camp training over and done with. YOu seem to have short posts try and keep them long. But all in all I suppose you have passed. If you fall back into your old ways then I will bring you back here.
xD4rk Fl4m3sX Has Passed Boot Camp
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