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 Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 12:04 pm
Dating in the sense of two mature ppl (man and woman) going out w/o a mahram is forbidden in Islam. As for the Internet, caution should be taken.
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 9:23 am
I have no clue. I think it has to be arranged, but the idea of arranged marriage is really gloomy
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Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 2:12 am
I actually think people should fall in love, because the feeling of love is simply wonderful.
I do not say no to dating, I, in fact, encourage people to do it however I do not encourage people to do things like touching one another and etc. Dating doesn't exactly mean that, it's just getting to know someone.
Group dating? I think that's saying to yourself that you don't trust yourself with another man or woman? I think one of the first steps to dating is knowing if you can get ready for it, which means controlling yourself when the time comes. If you don't think you can do that, then you are not ready and should wait.
Arranged marriages and other marriages I do not have any problems with, it's all choices. I just hope you guys make the right choice :3
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:24 pm
Allah gave us the greatest gift of all, and that's the gift of knowledge.
Personally, I don't feel that dating is wrong, although the sexual activity that is associated with it, is not really suggested. If you're getting into a relationship with bad intentions, that's when it's haram. Otherwise, it's okay.
So suppose you were interested in someone, get to know them for who they are, understand them for what they are, and respected them for the being what they are and are becoming. If they aren't what you expected, then leave and move on. That way you didn't exactly fall under any "sinful" actions, and you got to connect with someone as well.
Allah wants us to make good choices, and this is where our knowledge comes into play. If you're with someone for your own selfish needs (sexual experiences), then yes. It's beyond haram.
Two spirits connecting, mentally, emotionally, and physically with pure intentions on the other hand, is not.
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Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 1:46 pm
Well...
I consider arranged marriages: however, the guy MUST be in my preferences such as being handsome, sweet, romantic (especially, don't want a boring guy wink ), and intelligent, as well as faithful to me at all times.
Dating..
Well, I think dating shouldn't be something private between two people and solely the purpose for ONLY marriage. A woman should bring a Mahram at all times, and so get to the know the man (whom she dates, and then decides to marry) about his personality, interests, education and faith. Intimacy is not allowed.
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Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 2:18 pm
Arranged marriage is like farming. Matching a female and a male so they can produce kids.
Dating is better.
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Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 1:34 pm
Honestly, I'm in a bit of a dilemma over this. I am absolutely opposed to arranged marriage, but I don't think dating is halal either.
The main reason I hate arranged marriages is, ironically, because of my parents. My parents had an arranged marriage, and it was horrible for my mom. She was seventeen and my father was 35. She had pretty much no say in what she wanted, and still doesn't. She had to quit college because of my dad, and now she's a stay at home mom who has no say about the flow of money, because she believes that she isn't the one who earned it. My father has kept secrets from her numerous times over where his money's went. She's looked down on everyday by her family and other Bengali women because they believe that she's stupid because she couldn't finish college (They think my father is the nicest person on earth, to the point that if you told them that he was an angel, they'd totally believe it, because his personality changes when he meets them. Plus, they live in another continent, so they don't know any better) Before, she used to voice her opinions, but one day my father got so mad that he smashed our kitchen table, and now, she doesn't even say anything anymore because she's afraid of him. She's also afraid of him because he's hit me ever since I was four years old, and I don't mean spanking. He's beaten me up so bad before that I couldn't go to school for three days because of my bruises and swollen head, to the point that even my mom threatened divorce.
What a messed up family
An abusive, impulsive, authoritarian father that I almost despise but can't
A mother who's afraid of everything, and has depression
And the dark, pessimistic, twisted me
Some good arranged marriage did.
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Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 8:50 pm
Your mom has the right to divorce with him.
Your mom has the right to speak.
Your mom has the right to give her own opinion.
Your mom has the right to study.
Your mom has the right to earn money.
And so do you.
Can't find any help for your mom to divorce with him?
This is why, sometimes arranged marriage doesn't work. Especially with an old fart. -_- I don't like the idea of arrange marriage though. But if I'm into that culture, I rather marry a woman near my age.
To marry your mom in that age, your father sounds like... *****. -_- No offense.
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Call Me Apple Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 11:26 pm
Lisa Red Honestly, I'm in a bit of a dilemma over this. I am absolutely opposed to arranged marriage, but I don't think dating is halal either. The main reason I hate arranged marriages is, ironically, because of my parents. My parents had an arranged marriage, and it was horrible for my mom. She was seventeen and my father was 35. She had pretty much no say in what she wanted, and still doesn't. She had to quit college because of my dad, and now she's a stay at home mom who has no say about the flow of money, because she believes that she isn't the one who earned it. My father has kept secrets from her numerous times over where his money's went. She's looked down on everyday by her family and other Bengali women because they believe that she's stupid because she couldn't finish college (They think my father is the nicest person on earth, to the point that if you told them that he was an angel, they'd totally believe it, because his personality changes when he meets them. Plus, they live in another continent, so they don't know any better) Before, she used to voice her opinions, but one day my father got so mad that he smashed our kitchen table, and now, she doesn't even say anything anymore because she's afraid of him. She's also afraid of him because he's hit me ever since I was four years old, and I don't mean spanking. He's beaten me up so bad before that I couldn't go to school for three days because of my bruises and swollen head, to the point that even my mom threatened divorce. What a messed up family An abusive, impulsive, authoritarian father that I almost despise but can't A mother who's afraid of everything, and has depression And the dark, pessimistic, twisted me Some good arranged marriage did. Sister why did NO ONE call the police? Do you live in the West? I urge you to go the police ASAP if you live in the West, you CANNOT let him get away with this!
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Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 7:34 pm
Call Me Apple Lisa Red Honestly, I'm in a bit of a dilemma over this. I am absolutely opposed to arranged marriage, but I don't think dating is halal either. The main reason I hate arranged marriages is, ironically, because of my parents. My parents had an arranged marriage, and it was horrible for my mom. She was seventeen and my father was 35. She had pretty much no say in what she wanted, and still doesn't. She had to quit college because of my dad, and now she's a stay at home mom who has no say about the flow of money, because she believes that she isn't the one who earned it. My father has kept secrets from her numerous times over where his money's went. She's looked down on everyday by her family and other Bengali women because they believe that she's stupid because she couldn't finish college (They think my father is the nicest person on earth, to the point that if you told them that he was an angel, they'd totally believe it, because his personality changes when he meets them. Plus, they live in another continent, so they don't know any better) Before, she used to voice her opinions, but one day my father got so mad that he smashed our kitchen table, and now, she doesn't even say anything anymore because she's afraid of him. She's also afraid of him because he's hit me ever since I was four years old, and I don't mean spanking. He's beaten me up so bad before that I couldn't go to school for three days because of my bruises and swollen head, to the point that even my mom threatened divorce. What a messed up family An abusive, impulsive, authoritarian father that I almost despise but can't A mother who's afraid of everything, and has depression And the dark, pessimistic, twisted me Some good arranged marriage did. Sister why did NO ONE call the police? Do you live in the West? I urge you to go the police ASAP if you live in the West, you CANNOT let him get away with this! Not all arranged marriages had ever went bad in my opinion. O_o well, not that I know of. You should call the police if things get too aggressive and encourage your mother to stand up against him because she has much right as her husband to have confidence to divorce him. Divorce is the best option, marriages should be happy for the couple and your mother seemed to be forced in it without her consent.
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Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:55 pm
Well .. first of all I would like to share my story of the subject, well I am a muslim who never planned to "Date" someone in my life, and I never did, until I met this guy on the internet, I fell in love with him, so we both know we love each other, he never wanted anything bad from me, and me and him act totally friendly, I had aways had a totally different view regarding this subject, but life changes a person, I always thought it's "Haram", but when I come to think of it, the idea of having a relationship based on sexual needs and abusing eachother before getting married is why it's "Haram", so in my opinion it's not "Haram" if both people were matture and used it as a way to know eachother, but that doesn't mean that "Dating" someone because it's cool or popular or because he is cute or whatever is allowed, it would really get you on the wrong track.
Have good days.
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Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:17 pm
I probably think the same way, but here in my city (I am living in Pakistan) there are more often arrange marriages people are happy that way, they find it better, it not only satisfies their parents but them as well, because they follow the basic rule that their parents want good for them ^_^
Here there ain't any dating culture, you won't see boy and girl walk together unless they are brother and sister.
It is going to be fun, my mom is finding someone for my brother.
I hate family problems they always jump in in such matters.
and one more thing I would like to share is that, here most people only have marriages inside their relations, they do not marry with people with different cast, well they prefer not to.
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Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 3:23 pm
Shinigami Vayth Wow, great answer, you two.. Actually I'm also curious.. I always want to try dating, feel how it feel to have a gf whenever see my friends dating. Stick to Islam rules sometimes not easy. I hate to say it, but never had a single gf isn't really usual around here. (Well, I said it.. But I guess it's okay here). Anyway, you two met your soulmate online? eek Hm.. I wonder if someone in this guild is my future wife.. :p i know what you mean. I knew someone who was nice. If i was not Muslim, we might of dating for a while. He like me. But i then though of him as a boyfriend, just a guy friend. But know even if we did date( if i was not a Muslim), we can't marry. well not till we are older. I think it stupid for young teenage to date. They can't get married, unless they get them self pregnant, which happens a lot. They should wait till they are older. Unless they are Muslim, then they follow the marring rules of Islam. Me i want to find that "one for me and only one for me" person and marry him. Of course following the rules and only the rules of Islam and the OK from my awesome wonderful parents of mine!
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Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 3:33 pm
The Sacred Night Call Me Apple Lisa Red Honestly, I'm in a bit of a dilemma over this. I am absolutely opposed to arranged marriage, but I don't think dating is halal either. The main reason I hate arranged marriages is, ironically, because of my parents. My parents had an arranged marriage, and it was horrible for my mom. She was seventeen and my father was 35. She had pretty much no say in what she wanted, and still doesn't. She had to quit college because of my dad, and now she's a stay at home mom who has no say about the flow of money, because she believes that she isn't the one who earned it. My father has kept secrets from her numerous times over where his money's went. She's looked down on everyday by her family and other Bengali women because they believe that she's stupid because she couldn't finish college (They think my father is the nicest person on earth, to the point that if you told them that he was an angel, they'd totally believe it, because his personality changes when he meets them. Plus, they live in another continent, so they don't know any better) Before, she used to voice her opinions, but one day my father got so mad that he smashed our kitchen table, and now, she doesn't even say anything anymore because she's afraid of him. She's also afraid of him because he's hit me ever since I was four years old, and I don't mean spanking. He's beaten me up so bad before that I couldn't go to school for three days because of my bruises and swollen head, to the point that even my mom threatened divorce. What a messed up family An abusive, impulsive, authoritarian father that I almost despise but can't A mother who's afraid of everything, and has depression And the dark, pessimistic, twisted me Some good arranged marriage did. Sister why did NO ONE call the police? Do you live in the West? I urge you to go the police ASAP if you live in the West, you CANNOT let him get away with this! Not all arranged marriages had ever went bad in my opinion. O_o well, not that I know of. You should call the police if things get too aggressive and encourage your mother to stand up against him because she has much right as her husband to have confidence to divorce him. Divorce is the best option, marriages should be happy for the couple and your mother seemed to be forced in it without her consent. You poor thing! *warp arm around you and give you a big hug* Is ok! Allah will punish the big bad wolves in HELL! I HATE MEN WHO DARE LAY A HAND ON A FEMALE LIKE THAT. I MAN SHOULD ONLY TOUCH HIS WIFE WAS SWEETLY, CAREFULLY, AND AS GENTLY AS POSSIBLE! FEMALE ARE FRAGILE DOLLS! WE NEED MORE RESPECT! THE MAN MUST RESPECTS HIS WIFE LIKE A QUEEN! HE MUST LOVE HER MORE THEN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. EXPECT FOR ALLAH!
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Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 3:37 pm
bilqisnargis Dating in the sense of two mature ppl (man and woman) going out w/o a mahram is forbidden in Islam. As for the Internet, caution should be taken. internet or in person, it still the same thing. because you both have the title "couple" or"lovers". even though you don't see the other person, you can do thing that lover do on the internet. Because when you type "i kiss so ans so" Or "i touch him (bad place)" you are doing bad thing with a bad intention. And is just as bad in person. And yes there are sick people you do bad things on the internet.
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