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Starflyer1

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 7:51 pm


Mylian
Starflyer1

Not that I'm gonna use 'drinking' in the script persey... I'd rather use other mental and edible methods. I find using drinking as a means to 'switch mentalities' to be a sort of cop-out. Most people get odd when drunk.

Does Myles' physical form change too?


He's rarely if ever a heavy drinker anyway.

And his physical form changes completely. He loses a few inches in height, a couple pounds of muscle mass, his facial structure changes just enough, his hair gets a little longer, et cetera. (see the avatar of the mule Myiian or the FLIP! card in my sig for an example.) And, of course, the obvious other physical changes.


Gotcha... I was hoping for that. <3

Oh, and I realized I was writing MYLAN because I used to be on an RP long ago where there was a Milan, and I know you had an MYL... and yeah... poof. Shant' happen again. >_<\
PostPosted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:37 pm


No worries, that's what editing's for. 3nodding

Mylian
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SPI -14

PostPosted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 10:40 pm


Well, I think it's good, but Jad's craft is The Laughing Eagle. an ex-military interceptor once under the late captain Avarila Velana.

It was given to him by his lover(?) Kendris Velana, a noble lady of New England.

his nickname is 'Madwing,' due to the insane maneuvers he's done.
PostPosted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 10:03 am


SPI -14
Well, I think it's good, but Jad's craft is The Laughing Eagle. an ex-military interceptor once under the late captain Avarila Velana.

It was given to him by his lover(?) Kendris Velana, a noble lady of New England.

his nickname is 'Madwing,' due to the insane maneuvers he's done.


Fixed. and Fixed last name too. I created the character page for just these reasons. I shall update those too, tonight after work.

Next scene with Jad and Myles, I'm thinking we go to a flash back, since the image of Myles transforming and the nature of their conversation will be much better if seen, then talked about.

Nothing huge, basically 'you scrach my back I scratch yours'. Perhaps Jad had a reason for wanting a new guidance system? Maybe he was trying to go somewhere?

I'm thinking, to stay in the city a bit, so no one's gonna be leaving yet. We can bring in a few characters, and have some trouble brew at the Anachron. Maybe later on, we can have them take off and we can show more of the world they live in, as well as some of the other dwelling points.

Then there will be more motivation and perhaps it'll be fun because more pirates/ gov people will be upset with the people leaving... so there will be a chase? Dunno... we'll see when that time comes.

Oh, and Jump in anytime, SPI. =D

Starflyer1

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SPI -14

PostPosted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 11:14 am


Well, Jad had a conflict with the pirates (multiple, but he remembers only one.) While searching for treasure in his salvaging, (in Africa or the orient...) he ended up with some competition...

They were of course the pirates, but they thought he'd stumbled upon a secret of theirs (he had indeed, but he didn't care about it...) and were trying to kill him to keep it a secret.

Whilst he was fleeing, he pretty much took off in his ship, but not before a skid underneath it caught some of the fabric from the pirate's airship. This caused a rip, and the broken canvas fell upon a burning gaslamp, knocking it from the stand, breaking it, and lighting the whole vessel on fire. Since then, the pirates have, numerously, tried to kill him, but he's managed to escape, usually at the expense of the pirates. (Although the fourth time, it was because he crashed in the Amazon... Not very fun for him.)

Jad would like the guidance system for two reasons:
1. It can help him navigate in far more inclement weather.
2. It's just better. Jad always prefers better objects.
PostPosted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 8:10 pm


SPI -14
Well, Jad had a conflict with the pirates (multiple, but he remembers only one.) While searching for treasure in his salvaging, (in Africa or the orient...) he ended up with some competition...

They were of course the pirates, but they thought he'd stumbled upon a secret of theirs (he had indeed, but he didn't care about it...) and were trying to kill him to keep it a secret.

Whilst he was fleeing, he pretty much took off in his ship, but not before a skid underneath it caught some of the fabric from the pirate's airship. This caused a rip, and the broken canvas fell upon a burning gaslamp, knocking it from the stand, breaking it, and lighting the whole vessel on fire. Since then, the pirates have, numerously, tried to kill him, but he's managed to escape, usually at the expense of the pirates. (Although the fourth time, it was because he crashed in the Amazon... Not very fun for him.)

Jad would like the guidance system for two reasons:
1. It can help him navigate in far more inclement weather.
2. It's just better. Jad always prefers better objects.


... LOVE IT!!!! I'm excited about this, but it's late now. I have the day off tomorrow and shall get moving on the next part. Mwahahaha...
razz

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 1:35 pm


CONT. THE TOP FLIGHT GRILL

Jad sets down his drink and quickly motions for the waiter to come over.

Myles remains standing, much to Jad's discomfort.

Jad forces a smile and motions for Myles to sit down.

The WAITER comes up.

WAITER: "Yes, sir?"

JAD sad turns to waiter)"My friend will be joining me in a little dri-"

MYLES: "-No, I won't."

Jad sweatdrops.

JAD:"He'll have a glass of your fine sparkling w-"

Myles signs.

MYLES: "-water."

The waiter nods and heads off. Myles sits and taps his fingers on the table.

JAD: "Hey, I was only acting in your best interest. You DO need to relax a bit every now and then."

MYLES: "Are you talking about now or then, because if you're talking about then, I'm afraid your actions have created much more dire consequences than I'm willing to pay."

There's silence.

Jad plays with his water.

JAD: "You mean someone SAW that you turned into a-"

MYLES: "-NO!"

JAD: "Cause I sure didn't tell anyone."

MYLES: "Jad, if that were the problem, I'd be much less..."

He waves his hand around vaguely.

JAD: "... pissed off?"

Myles glares at him.

JAD: "Alright, tell me. I'm lost. Cause I just TRIED to buy you a drink to pay you back the extra money of that's it..."

MYLES: "Jad, think back to last night for me. Maybe YOU can figure out what went wrong without me spelling it out for you."

:: flashback ::

THE TOYBOX

Myles stands at the work bench, working on something that's just out of sight.

MYLES: "Now, if I attach the ciphering mechanism here by the coolant compartment..."

There's a sudden KNOCK at the door. Myles turns fast, shutting lid on a small red box that he was working on.

Myles puts his tools away carefully as the KNOCK comes again.

MYLES: "HOLD ON, I'll be right there!"

There's a voice from the other side of the door.

JAD: "A promise is a promise! I even gave you a little extra time to finish up! I'd like to be off by tomorrow morning, so if it's all the same to you, I'll grab it and be gone!"

Myles relaxes and abandons his work bench. He goes to the door and opens it a few inches.

MYLES: "Jad?"

JAD: "Of course. Who ELSE would be bothering you this time of night for a part?"

Myles looks away, guiltily and opens the door.

JAD: "Ok, ok... I won't ask. Now, about the payment..."

Myles turns and blocks Jad's path suddenly.

MYLES: "What about it?"

JAD sad glancing around)"Well... how about we make a little... business deal."

MYLES: "What KIND of deal?"

JAD:"Myles, with all the places I go, there's no doubt I'll find something interesting for you to use in your little... experiments."

Myles looks around his stop, his eyes lingering on the little red box on the counter.

Jad watches where he gaze lands.

JAD: "What if I give you... eh... fifty percent, and find you something really fantastic on my trip?!"

Myles turns back to Jad.

MYLES:"I say no. One, you had no way of knowing what I need, two, you'd probably skip out, three, you'd end up getting in trouble and bring the trouble my way..."

JAD: "Come on..."

MYLES: "NO! Full price or you get nothing at all!"

JAD: "Pleeease.... you know I'm good for it!"

MYLES: "Jad. I'm too tired for this. I've been working all day on this project and frankly, you're starting to piss me off."

JAD: "And you're so CUTE when you're angry!"

Myles throws up his hands and turns around.

MYLES: "I"m warning you..."

JAD: "Are you?"

Myles clenches his fists and turns around. All of a sudden he looks... quite different. His clothes are suddenly a bit big. His face is now that of a woman. SYLVIAN BRUNO has arrived.

SYLVIAN: "Perhaps. So, about this... deal. I need more information on Aether technology."

JAD: "What sort of information?"

Sylvian takes a few steps towards Jad.

SYLVIAN: "If you took me with you, you wouldn't have to worry about that."

JAD: "Wouldn't that make Myles... mad?"

SYLVIAN: "Yes. But it would give me more control over him. I'm so bored, Jad."

JAD: "Sorry, but I travel alone. How about if I find a place where there's some really good research going on, I forward you the address?"

Sylvian turns away, her expression hidden.

Jad leans forward, curious.

JAD: "AND I'll send any notes I get and bring you back a few really good souvenirs."

Sylvian turns around suddenly, her face thoughtful. She suddenly smiles.

SYLVIAN: Okay. Fifty percent now, and the rest payed in QUALITY goods. got it, Jad?"

Jad nods, eying the red box behind her anxiously.

SYLVIAN: "Then let me just go grab the paperwork for you..."

She walks into the OFFICE, a small, cramped room with many file cabinets and a large DESK.

Jad follows suit. He waits in the doorway, looking briefly at a pocket watch he removes from his front pocket.

JAD: "Can you write down the terms of our deal on the paperwork too? I don't want Myles going back on our deal."

SYLVIAN: "No problem. He's not the only one who can make deals around here."

She removes a piece of paper from a file cabinet and puts it down on the desk. She scribbles on it with a pen, then slides both pen and paper to Jad.

SYLVIAN: "Sign here, and you're free to go... after payment of course."

JAD: (busily signing) "yeah... about that..."

He looks up and finds Sylvian glaring.

JAD: "Never mind... here."

He hands over a few coins with the paper.

Sylvian gladly takes them and slides them away in the desk drawer.

Jad ducks out of the room as she looks away.

She opens another drawer and takes out a small red box just like the one in the one in the other room.

But Jad is gone.

She soon finds out, as she goes into the work room, the other red box is gone too.

:: end flashback ::

BACK IN THE TOP FLIGHT GRILL

JAD: "So?"

MYLES: "You took the wrong box."

Myles holds his hand out on the table.

MYLES: "The one you took was for someone else. And they aren't too happy about it."

Jad removes the other red box from his pocket and looks at it, ignoring Myles's waiting hand.

JAD: "Sorry about that... I do get anxious sometimes. Just give it back to them with my apologies. It... should be working."

MYLES: "If only it were that easy. That part you have is a special Ether drive and it's not finished..."

JAD: "So THAT'S why it doesn't work."

Myles glares at him and impatiently sticks his hand closer to Jad.

MYLES: "And the people who need it are not of the normal crowd. They're a bit... threatening."

JAD: "Politicians? Well, don't worry much about them. They'll all talk after all."

Jad holds the red box teasingly over Myles's hand.

Myles shakes his head.

MYLES: "No, Jad. They're pirates. Pirates of the Purple Wing to be exact... and they aren't too happy about this little situation."

The red box suddenly slips from Jad's hand, bounces on the table once and falls towards the floor.

Myles scrambles to catch it, barely getting it before it falls to a crashing end.

MYLES: "JAD! You trying to get me in more trouble then I already AM?!"

He sits up, but the anger melts away as he looks at Jad.

Jad's face is in conflict. Seconds later, he bolts for the door.

Myles follows suit.

---

TBC!

I thought this part went rather well actually. It's still subject to change. Any suggestions? I was pondering having Sylvian PLAN to have Jad take the wrong box, knowing the outcome would get her out of there in the end, but I know Jad would probably do it anyway.

so I had a bit of fun.

comments, suggestions and questions welcome.

Next, instead of having Jad TELL Mylan about the pirates, I'm pondering having them all meet up. Perhaps Mylan has switched to Sylvian, which would be good because he's been gone a BIT too long for the Captain's taste. So now we'll get a first hand tale of what's going on between Jad, The pirates of the purple wing, and Mylan!
PostPosted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 9:58 am


alright. Now, Jad saying that Myles is cute... I hope that's in a teasing way due to some knowledge of the 'condition...'

He's no Captain Jack Harkness...

Jad may have to hold off said pirates from killing him with his compression pistol... (and possibly some bluffing.) They kind of know him and that trademark blue scarf as a kill-on-sight....

SPI -14


Mylian
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 2:25 pm


Excellent characterization on Sylvian there. To Sylvian Bruno, there are only three types of people in the world. Lab Rats, the Audience, and Sylvian Bruno.
PostPosted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 9:20 pm


SPI -14
alright. Now, Jad saying that Myles is cute... I hope that's in a teasing way due to some knowledge of the 'condition...'

He's no Captain Jack Harkness...

Jad may have to hold off said pirates from killing him with his compression pistol... (and possibly some bluffing.) They kind of know him and that trademark blue scarf as a kill-on-sight....


On the first point: Yup, I'm gonna explain that actually. For you all here, right now, and for people planning on reading the comic, coming up in the story soon.

Jad knows about Myles's condition. He knows that if he can get Myles ruffled, he'll have to deal with Sylvian, which will be easier. Plus, after having Myles say "He was trying to seduce me..." kinda makes the 'cute' line even more funny. As mentioned in the thread here, Myles doesn't remember all of what happens, so hearing 'cute', links the term 'seduce', and he can only put together so many pieces... XD Poor guy.

I'm gonna have Jad mention a little about his run-in with the pirates, and Myles say "You never mentioned anything about THAT before!". Plus, the convo in the Grill before the flashback about Jad saying "Cause I sure didn't tell anyone.", is a bit of a tip off. I'll make it more apparent that they know each other.

I mean, I do feel bad and slightly awkward controlling two characters like this when the creators are right here... Not like I'd go too far, but if I DO anything that crosses some line, lemme know and I'll change it. I'm a clean writer.

Mylian- Please let me know if there is a certain direction you want me to use the character's transformations in. I don't, in anyway, assume it's for comedic effect. I plan on using it sensibly and to add interest to the character/character's condition. It's still early in the story, so I figured I'd ask.

Point two... Captain Jack Harkness.... o_O I so want to use that now...

Point three: Yes, that idea with the gun to make the escape will work nicely with the upcoming events. And the idea of 'will the same bluff work twice?'

I have the day off tomorrow, so more then!

(Edited cause I was tired when I wrote this last night. XD)

Starflyer1

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SPI -14

PostPosted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 11:30 pm


WEll, I have little qualms with the current portrayal of Jad: the kind of guy who usually talks with a grin, as well as a bit of confidence that he can deal with most single threats...

he is more focused on the adventure than the yields... even though almost nobody knows what legend he's after... Also loves a good joke, but knows when to run too.

Jack Harkness is a character from Doctor Who. He is a bisexual who can be seen as starting a romantic spark with most people he meets just by how he talks and acts.

I do use other names though... like Xavier Trost, Jeremy Trost (A.S.), and Shina Escarde...

Jad's lover is Kendris Velana. Her deceased sister is Captain Avarila Velana...

there is also her cousin, a mechanic, Shondr Velana... (He lives in California, using gold for his devices...)
PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 12:28 pm


SPI: Write down what you want changed and what you want to change it to. I can edit it later. I have been aiming for the cheery type who brushes trouble off, but knows WHEN to act when it's in his own advantage. Just assume anything I write for Jad is tentative... lemme know what you want and I can edit it into the part I wrote. If you see another possibility for a scene, lemme know and we can change it.

Oh... idea too, if you like I can PM you the script parts before I post em' up, so we can go over any changes. I'm just having some fun right now anyway. ^_^V

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SPI -14

PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 11:53 pm


it's good so far. If you do note me first, we can fine-tune it...
PostPosted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 1:11 pm


SPI -14
it's good so far. If you do note me first, we can fine-tune it...


Sounds good. From this point forwards, doing so is a good idea and a good habit to get into!

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:21 pm


Next part! YAY!
CONT:
STREETS OF ANACHRON

Jad races along the streets, and then slows down abruptly.

Myles catches up, almost running into him.

JAD: “Pirates of the Purple wing … what was it about them.”

MYLES: “If you’re not sure, why did you run out so fast?”

JAD: “You know those feelings you get when you’re suddenly REALLY sure about something?”

MYLES: “I’m familiar with them, yes.”

JAD: “But then it goes away before you can figure out exactly WHAT you were sure of?”

MYLES: “I’m a scientist. Happens all the time.”

Jad turns to face Myles.

JAD: “I mean, BESIDES all the times when you turn into-“

MYLES: “-Drop it.”

Jad smirks and turns around, starting off again.

JAD: “All I know is that I suddenly have the urge to check on my ship.”

MYLES: “Why?”

Jad shrugs.

JAD: “Perhaps that was the thing I was suddenly sure about?”

Myles shakes his head, and then freezes.

MYLES: “Oh… wait a sec. Come to think of it, that’s exactly where I left them…”

JAD: “You don’t mean…”

Myles frowns, suddenly serious and walks on, motioning for Jad to continue.

MYLES: “Right by your ship. I told them to wait for me there.”

Myles looks up ahead, his eyes on the Air Docks down the dusty, crowded street.

JAD: “I remembered.”

MYLES: “You remembered where you’ve seen them before?”

JAD: “No, I know them. We’ve had a lot of problems in the past. I just remembered the LAST run-in I had with them.”

Jad grins, sheepishly.

Myles stares at him incredulously.

JAD: “No question about it… they’ll still be mad at me.”

Myles shakes his head.

MYLES: “That means your very presence with me could get me killed.”

JAD: “It’s a possibility… Unless…”

They reach the Air Docks and stop just outside.

MYLES: “I’ve known you too long to NOT feel suspicious when you start a sentence with ‘unless’.”

JAD: “They haven’t met Sylvian yet, have they?”

Myles looks over at Jad out of the corner of his eye.

Jad continues staring at the Air Dock lifts, grinning thoughtfully.

TBC
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