Welcome to Gaia! ::

Fire in the hole! Ya unknown to the majority like Grand Puba,
so watch Stryker leap up and stomp ya like a Goomba!

lol I'm in that silly a** mood again. Here's goes...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Long-dicking ya with my simple style, now you got a weak fallopian.
When I'm done, I'll leave ya covered in dirt and flies like Ethiopians.

I'm a rough fellow. When I see ya pic, I let out a gruff bellow.
M'dear, you look like someone put implants on a water buffalo. 4laugh

Like a scorpion, I sting for the kill.
But it also stings to know with short hair, you'd look like Kahn from King of the Hill. lol

Even if you've got an optimists' mind, there's no toppin' this rhyme.
You've been dead half-way through this showing like Optimus Prime.*

You're either a projection or illusion, cuz it's hard to feel ya.
So you're bi/by yaself--feeling yaself... like Tila Tequila.**

But I gotta hand it to ya. You got balls to screw with the best.
I'd give you an 'A' for effort, but you already got two on ya chest.




*In Transformers 2, Optimus was dead for like... basically half of the movie.

**Tila Tequila is a bisexual Asian chick who had a reality show on VH1. She ended up alone both seasons.

mrgreen heart

^ That's Stryker.

This was already a one-sided battle, but Stryker blew it open in round 2. More amusing punches, devastating personals, nice rhyme scheme with multies, Ari didn't stand a chance. Haven't watched Stryker much, but that's probably one of the most complete verses I've seen from him. And since he was in a "silly mood", I'd hate to see how this would've turned out had he taken you more seriously.


However, you still need your fair share of criticism. It's good to see that you're capable of taking what you're given, but those personals would've done only half the damage if she didn't have that pic in her signature. The King of The Hill/Optimus Prime/Tila Tequila punches were good, but required explanation to anyone unfamiliar to those shows. Even though it can be assumed that the majority of us do know those references since they're so popular, you'll want to avoid punches like that if you have the SLIGHTEST doubt that someone will get it. The links, the footnotes, unless you can learn how to use them sparingly, its time for you to grow out of that. You may know this already and were just goofing around, but this goes for everyone in this guild, especially you Ari. Your writing process will become that much more simple and effective.


As for you Ari, I can lecture you for days, but with your level of experience the only way you'll start to see what I'm talking about is to just keep battling like you've been doing. The punches are there. But you really lack a lot of the fundamentals needed to express them in a way that does damage. More specifically, its your wording. You gotta learn how to express your punches in more creative ways.

but thats enough for today.
vote: Jaiden Stryker

Terrence thanks and you're gonna have to teach me a bit more later.



@ IMSHIZZLE: VOTE!!!

Terrence said damn near everything I was gonna say. Except for the part about the references, that didn't really bother me, I think you can get away with it when you use them like that.

Jaidens second verse was sick. That totally cemented the victory. I think the main difference between the two battlers is the clarity in the verses. Jaidens Ethopian line just conjurs a clear image. The water buffalo line was the same and so was the last line.

There's nothing wrong with Ari's punches they're just not said in a very offensive way. To me they just sound more formal, like you're politly explaining why your opponents whack rather than poking fun at them. Know what I mean?

But yeah Vote: stryker.