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 Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 12:33 pm
Hey, I hate myself too. Sweet.
As for writing cliches - everything's been done. It's in the execution that matters; a lot of things in life are like that. How you carry it out is what matters - originality comes from your interpretations. I think not being able to finish things isn't necessarily a hallmark of growing up, but I'm saying this because I never finished anything as a kid.
I don't know how to deal with the self-hate either; distancing yourself from your emotions and putting things in perspective helps. For me, by day, I'm a 'genius' who's three years ahead in college. By night I'm an emotional wreck who can't get off the computer to do some reading and stop crying about the fact that her mommy doesn't love her. I go on the internet while I loathe myself for not exercising, or sleeping, or eating right.
I guess my point is that everyone's both fantastically brilliant and absolutely shitty at the same time, so take it easy and give yourself some kindness. And I mean seriously, what gives? What makes you so special that you have to hate yourself? What sets you apart and makes you extra hate-worthy? Nothing, really.
Edit: as for being an abusive boyfriend, most abusers can't even begin to admit to this fact. Non-abusive people treat other people badly as well, but you can make up for it. Feel remorseful and all. Revel in being sane.
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 3:54 pm
Alulae Hey, I hate myself too. Sweet. As for writing cliches - everything's been done. It's in the execution that matters; a lot of things in life are like that. How you carry it out is what matters - originality comes from your interpretations. I think not being able to finish things isn't necessarily a hallmark of growing up, but I'm saying this because I never finished anything as a kid. I don't know how to deal with the self-hate either; distancing yourself from your emotions and putting things in perspective helps. For me, by day, I'm a 'genius' who's three years ahead in college. By night I'm an emotional wreck who can't get off the computer to do some reading and stop crying about the fact that her mommy doesn't love her. I go on the internet while I loathe myself for not exercising, or sleeping, or eating right. I guess my point is that everyone's both fantastically brilliant and absolutely shitty at the same time, so take it easy and give yourself some kindness. And I mean seriously, what gives? What makes you so special that you have to hate yourself? What sets you apart and makes you extra hate-worthy? Nothing, really. Edit: as for being an abusive boyfriend, most abusers can't even begin to admit to this fact. Non-abusive people treat other people badly as well, but you can make up for it. Feel remorseful and all. Revel in being sane. Hmm. Maybe that's why so many people appear to act stupid. Because if they stop to think about themselves they get depressed. The reason I hate myself is so that I don't hate others. It's a peculiarity of my childhood. To not hurt others, I turn that hate and anger inwards. Dystopian Lover I honestly believe that suddenly being unable to finish most things is a hallmark of growing up. When you're younger, you more or less have unlimited time to do whatever you want. It's easier to start new things and finish older ones. Once you hit college and declare a major, you're focused on one track, and you have enough homework to majorly interfere with any miscellaneous projects you might take up in your spare time, assuming you have any. This becomes doubly true if you're taking classes and working at a job. You just don't have the uninterrupted free time anymore. Who wants to work on a project that would take you 30 hours, as an example, if you only have a few hours of free time per day, and you have to budget that precious time between doing your homework; necessities like cooking for yourself, taking showers, and doing laundry; talking to friends once in a blue moon to make sure you don't lose them (assuming you still care enough to keep your friends, of course, which I didn't when I started running out of free time); and then, finally, miscellaneous projects or hobbies? Something you could finish in less than a week when you were a child may take you three months or longer as an adult. Who wants to spend three months' worth of valuable free time on something you don't have to do when you have so much else that you must? That's enough to kill anyone's motivation. That's possible... but with the hours I spend mindlessly on the internet I dunno. I'm sure I should be achieving something more with my free time.
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 5:16 pm
CleoSombra You're not the only one who doesn't finish stuff. I have soooooooooooooo many unfinished things lying around. I've abandoned every comic I've ever started. I have unfinished jewelry projects. I have unfinished art. I haven't even gotten around to making a new DevArt account. Seriously I abandon a lot of things, so don't feel bad about that. In the case of feeling unoriginal and like you're only rehashing things that exist, try using various brain storming techniques. Word webs can be VERY helpful. It may also just be a phase, it's happened to me before. And if you can't afford a therapist just talking to someone you're comfortable talking to may help a lot. But if you really think you need help then you should try can get it, you don't want to get into terrible depression that impacts your life. Alulae As for writing cliches - everything's been done Ok, not TECHNICALLY but pretty darn close. It takes real talent to truly come up with an unique piece of writing. I even read one book that was published in the 1980's and it was freakishly like Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone. I'm not kidding. The main character was named "Henry" he had messy hair (but it was white), his best male friend was a red-head, is closest female friend was a book worm, he fought an evil wizard, the wizard left, for lack of a better term, an "invisible scar" that hurt Henry whenever a wizard touched him...I think there were more similarities but I can't remember... I think Henry might have even had glasses.
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 5:26 pm
Most people to a degree dislike themselves, and some more than others. Those that truly dislike them selves usually have little reason to outside of cliche movie plots. Your mother left you as a child? The b***h had problems. Your daddy hit you? That guy had problems. Most experiences that could cause low self esteem are caused by other peoples problems, but (yay hypocrisy) you shouldn't let it bother you. In your case: your lazy so what? I've had tasks I can easily finish in under a minute with little to no effort at all. Important ones too. I still didn't do them. Not because it was hard, not because it was boring, and not because I was being rebellious, but because something in my head told me I should go do something else. Sign a paper? no, go do something else. Finish an assignment? No, go do something else. As for being an abusive boyfriend? Can't say anything about that, because I don't know why you think that.
(Wow not only was that generalized, but it was probably wrong too.)
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Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 6:08 pm
Wow. Well,I can't really find anything scientificy to say,and I admit I don't know you as well as maybe some other people around here,but what you dealing with is probably something common.It may seem like your completely useless,but maybe your focousing so much on your bad traits that your not paying any attention to your good traits,causing you to think stuff like that?Being lazy isn't something to worry about too much,since alot of people have that same problem.If something in my brain twitches and tells me I really don't feel like doing something like memorizing something or revising a chapter in my story that is yet to take off,then no matter how much I try,I just can't help it.Heck,I've even skipped lots of homework assignments that I could do,simply because I couldn't do it because my mind wandered off somewhere,or it was so stupidly easy I just got bored.It's nothing you should really feel is something so pathetic about yourself.Doing things in bits might help.I think your focusing too much on your bad traits,that most people around you don't even care about.What about your good traits?It may be wise to take some time off to think about the things you do well,and maybe some talents you never knew you had.You shouldn't worry too much about your bad traits,but you shouldn't get over yourself with your good traits.There is not a single being in the world that dosen't have a horrible trait.Try to think about your talents for a bit.It might help,it might not.
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