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 Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 4:36 pm
innocuous beginnings  Angela wasn't even aware of the way her life would change, at first. But then, at first, it didn't seem particularly important: a mild sickness that was just strong enough to keep her out of school. Initially, River had even suspected her of faking it. But as two and three days passed and she remained a little tired and achy, out of breath far more quickly than normal, suspicion changed to worry. And the worry grew as the illness showed no signs of disappearing. At a week and a half, he made a doctor's appointment.
Doctor Petarch was an older man with twinkling eyes, a cheerful smile, and a deep voice. He worked carefully, teasing Angela about skipping school and making joking promises for more time off. They both knew the promises were empty, but she laughed and agreed nonetheless. By the end of it, Angela was completely reassured. And she remained blissfully unaware as River went to pay the bill and was given an appointment the next day for additional bloodwork.
The bloodwork was less pleasant than the doctor's checkup, but not horrible. The nurse who drew Angela's blood was fast and skilled, and before Angela knew it, the needle was out and the cotton ball was seated firmly over the hole, held tightly in place by the nurse's thumb. The next day, Angela laughed with River: as skilled as the nurse had been, there was still a large bruise on her inner elbow.
And if River's laugh was a little strained... Angela didn't notice.
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Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 4:51 am
a simple trip Angela frowned as her father moved around their house, gathering up a couple days' worth of clothing and packing it away, along with some things for her to do. She was tired and listless, and her arm hurt a little where that nurse had left a bruise. She'd taken, over the course of the two weeks that she'd been sick, to sleep with her age-old teddy bear tucked under one arm. Its fur was rough from years of love and washings, and it had one eye missing, the other a black half-orb that had been scuffed and marked. If it had ever had a nose, Angela couldn't remember it. Then again, she knew it was supposed to be white, but those same years of love and washings had stained it a pale grey. It had gone through a good twenty or thirty names as her tastes had changed over the years, until she'd finally given in and simply named it 'Bear'.
It was her favorite toy ever, and always comforted her. And now it was settled in one arm, her hair tucked back into a lazy ponytail. She wanted to go back to bed, but she was dressed, instead, for the two-hour car trip to Durem. "Don't worry, sweetie," River told her, as he put the last of the clothes and activities in the bag and zipped it shut. He turned, eyes crinkling a little as he smiled at her. "Doctor Petarch just wants us to take care of a couple of things, and then we'll be able to come on back home."
Angela nodded, utter trust keeping her oblivious to the strain in his eyes. "Okay, Dad," she agreed, climbing into the back seat of the car and stretching out the full length of the back seat. She reached down, securing her legs with one seat belt, and her chest with a second, and then snuggled into the pillow she'd brought with her. On the whole, it wasn't all that uncomfortable, though it felt a little odd to be strapped in that way. But she was TIRED, and this way, she also had her seatbelt on. ...Both of them.
The radio played while they drove, classical music that floated around them both and kept her mostly dozy, if not actually asleep. Angela liked classical music, and always had. Of course, the fact that when Seiyo was over talking to her, he preferred to keep the radio on and tuned to a classical station might have something to do with it, she didn't know. All she knew was that it worked very well for keeping her sleeping. Even the occasional crescendos didn't bother her.
They reached Durem with Angela fast asleep in the back seat, and River himself ignoring the big city except to keep an eye out for directions to the Durem Children's Hospital. He woke her only once they'd arrived and had to walk into the emergency room, and Angela left her teddy bear and pillow in the car, keeping her arms wrapped tight around herself as she sat down in the only chair at her father's urging. Her father stood beside her, one hand resting comfortingly on her shoulder until the nurse called her over to say that they had some medicine to give her, and then "everything'll be all right, chil'". The nurse's broad face and gentle smile reassured them both, Angela thought, for River didn't say a word as they both followed her in. And though Angela was dismayed to find out that the medicine would come from a shot, she didn't whine. At thirteen, she was a big girl. She could totally handle this. And once the shot was done, they let her lay down on one of the hospital's thin-mattressed beds.
It was the last thing she remembered for a month...
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Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:03 am
revelations The first two days or so of Angela's coma, only partially doctor-induced, River never left her side. Terror of the stillness in his daughter's face kept him bound to her, and he'd talked to her quietly, holding one hand in both of his larger ones as he watched her face. By the time Seiyo had come to spell him, he'd memorized every freckle on her face, and the way her hair looked - limp and unwashed, altogether lifeless - was etched forever in his mind.
Seiyo had nudged him out of the chair and as far as the bed, where he'd collapsed without food, too weary to do anything more. And Seiyo had remained at her side, a silent guardian whose eyes held frustrated anger as he watched her. For like her father, he'd been told her prognosis. And he would damn himself before he allowed anything to happen to her... especially when it was her very blood betraying her....
Over the next month, Seiyo and River fell into a pattern, each of them spelling the other, and neither of them doing much else. River took time off of work, and when he could, Seiyo arranged for extra money for them. Acquiring for Angela was something that Seiyo was good at - better than he'd ever admit to River. By the time he was done with the first week, River looked like he'd been wrung through Hell, with bags under his eyes and not having shaven for most of that week. And Seiyo had arranged for a second account that he could quietly put money into, and that would be available for Angela and River. She would not want for medicine.
After two weeks or so, the doctors moved Angela from Intensive Care to a private room. Their initial work was over, and while there was still a lot to do, much of it at this point could be done without her taking up a bed for others who might need it more. And the private room was far more comfortable for River and Seiyo as well. It held a small bed for them to sleep on, barely wide enough to be classified a single. And while the mattress was thin and plasticy, crinkling each time they moved, and the pillow flat and almost not there... it was beside Angela, and that mattered more.
Thus it was that Seiyo was there when she slowly woke, one hand reaching up to rub her eyes. She paid little attention to the fact that her hand was thinner than she remembered, her skin a touch more drawn. "Dad?" she asked softly, and Seiyo half-smiled. The anger was still in his eyes, but fading as he watched her. "Oh. Seiyo," she added, when her eyes blinked open again, growing accustomed to the daylight that streamed through the large windows to one side of her room. The view wasn't spectacular, but the sunlight helped. She blinked after a moment, twisting her head to look around. Her eyes caught her left arm, which lay mostly motionless on the bed beside her, turned to allow the I.V. tubes to drip continuous fluid into her veins. "I'm in the hospital?"
"You're sick," Seiyo said. He and River had never talked about this moment, and it never once occurred to Seiyo to lie, or tell Angela something softer, and lead up to what it was. He was the type to want the news quickly, a brief battering of spirit he could recover from more easily than the slow gentle downgrade of self. "You have leukemia," he said, through lips drawn and thin, betrayal of a sort lurking in his gaze. How could it be that she had a disease centered in her blood, and here he was somehow unable to stop it?
"I have what?" Angela asked, all solemn innocence and confusion. She stretched, sitting up before blinking, her body swaying a bit as she found herself laying right back down. Since when had sitting up given her a headrush?
"Leukemia. It's cancer centered in your blood," Seiyo said, voice gruff with the anger. His gruff tone didn't phase her. She was used to the way he sounded so gruff any time she hugged him. River had once explained to her that being gruff and not showing how he felt for her was just Seiyo's way.
However... the words themselves did phase her. "Cancer?" Angela whispered, swallowing in fear. Seiyo nodded shortly, his eyes darkening a bit at the way she sounded, and she drew a breath. If he was this angry about it... if her father was angry about it... Forcing herself to nod solemnly, she forced away all the questions she did have, from the mundane 'how did I get it?' to the terrifying 'am I going to die?' Instead, she asked simply, "Can I have a book?"
And Seiyo gave her one.
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 12:47 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 6:57 pm
when you wish upon a star... Angela had waited until her father was sound asleep before she carefully got up from the hospital bed and drew her bed-robe around herself. The satiny pink fabric floated around her and before, it had always made her feel like a princess. Tonight, however, it simply served its purpose, concealing away a nightgown of similar fabric trimmed with white lace. She gripped the I.V. stand attached to her catheter, and let herself out of the room.
It was safe, roaming the halls in this wing. There were only kids here... kids and their parents, most of them looking wan or solemn, even when they were having fun. And it smelled horrible, a mix of sickness and antiseptic that was common to hospitals everywhere. There was always someone around somewhere, she reflected, smiling faintly at the nurse on duty as she passed the station. But at night, it was mostly quiet, leaving her time to think.
At the end of the wing, there was a large room in the corner. The room was filled with huge picture windows that looked out over a surprisingly beautiful garden... and another wing of the hospital on the far side. But if you angled yourself just right, you could look up at the stars, and that was what Angela did, pulling a chair to where it needed to be and curling up in it. She tucked her bare feet under her robe, moved the stand out of the way, and stared out at the stars. She hadn't bothered with the light in the room, so it didn't keep her from looking out once the door was closed.
"I'm scared," she finally whispered to the empty room. "And I don't want Daddy to see. He's so unhappy right now, I'd just make it worse." She chewed her lower lip, her fingers twisting together in her lap as she continued to stare at the stars. "I don't want to die," she finally said, very softly. There was a feeling like her throat closing shut deep in her neck, but she continued to breathe, and no tears came.
Her eyes traveled over what she could see of the sky, until they lit on the star that seemed the very brightest of all those twinkling that night. "Star light," she whispered softly, "star bright, brightest star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight." She paused after the end of the ages-old rhyme, trying to figure out just what it was she wanted to ask. Eventually, the words settled in her mind.
"I wish to survive this..."
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