Welcome to Gaia! ::

Congrats!
I am excited, I have been studying tarot for a while now. Even taken classes on the subject and its really interesting. But I am working on a few things, but my Mother got me some vials and books on herbs, so I can finally get some studying done with that. Its the little things that get me excited!

I think I might need to renovate my alter, I don't even have a candle for the God or Goddess stressed

RPGod, That sounds like a great way to be convinced.

Yesterday, I was able to connect closer to the elements than before when I cast a circle. (I was upset because everyone was shouting at each other at my house, so I had just walked up the backyard cast a circle and chanted for a while (The chant was "I banish the hate from my household, I banish the bad energy))

I talked out loud to the elements (just giving my thanks and all), and I'm positive they listened. Once I was finished, a huge gust of wind came from no where and rustled through all the trees, and it made me think of a crowd cheering (a little silly but fun) and I felt comforted all the way back to the house, by which time everyone was stewing over the fight, and by the end of the night everyone was apologizing (usually it takes a lot longer time for that to happen)

So things are looking up!

So much happening lately, though I have yet to write in my BOS about it yet........I'm planning to do that tomorrow.

For now, though........


First of all, I came to one of the greatest realizations of my life: My animal totem is the very same animal for whom I was nicknamed when I was young; a dove. A bit odd, perhaps, but undeniable. I also discovered the element to which I am most connected; air. In fact, these happened at about the same time. It was in school, of all places, and I was staring out the window, and suddenly, I just knew that I was connected somehow to the sky. Oftentimes, when I am bored, sad, lonely, or upset, or anything in between, I will stare at the sky and imagine myself as a bird of sorts, soaring above. I've always loved windy days, and watching leaves blow across the yard and all. So it really didn't come as much of a surprise, but more as a 'Hey, that makes sense' kinda moment.

So, of course, on the way home from school that day, I was up against the window of my bus seat staring at the sky (not a really long ride, about five or ten minutes). It was a bit cloudy that day, enough to hide the sun, but not enough to block the light entirely. So, while I was watching the sky, these rays formed, like beams that shot through the clouds to the ground. There was a large group of them, and they were really beautiful. It was stunning. That was when I learned of my animal totem. You see, the rays that I was watching were a fair distance away, of course. Just 'below' them(in my sight, they appeared higher, or closer to directly above me, but really they were farther away), and kinda in front, was a large cloud formation. Just as I noticed it the shape became very well defined, and I don't mean obscure as clouds often are, where you are using your imagination. I mean that it was a perfect shape, with clear edges and no way of denying the obvious form. It was that of a dove in flight, with head up and wings extended, as if gliding. As the shape appeared, though only for a few moments, it stood in front of the rays, so that they could be seen behind it, and they in part illuminated around it, as if back-lighting it. It was so beautiful! And I had no doubt in my mind when I saw that that I knew my animal totem.

*daydreams back to that moment, for the image is forever ingrained in my mind......*

Anyways.......There was one day when I was walking the dog, when I just suddenly felt so protected and safe, and watched over. I looked up, and saw that to the west was the late afternoon sun, warming my back as I turned to look the other way, and saw the bright moon in the eastern sky. I almost fell to my knees with the intensity of the moment. It was so perfect.......*daydreams again*

Today I learned a valuable lesson. I know many accept the threefold law as true; that anything, good or bad, that you do, comes back threefold to you. Well, I regarded it as plausible, and tried to keep it in mind, but it wasn't all that prevalent or apparent in my life. Quite the surprise I got today!

You see, last night, I purposefully did not let the dogs out for a second run of the night. They had been out just an hour and a half before, so I figured they would be fine. Well, of course, the larger of the two, the one who is in my stead while my older sister is at college, had an accident last night, because she just couldn't hold it. This morning, my mom (who gets up earlier than us) found it, yelled at her, and locked her in the bathroom for it. We use that as a punishment, like timeout or something. When she came up, she told me about it (it would be my job to clean it up), and asked to make sure that I had actually let the dogs out last night, so that she wasn't yelling at the dog when it wasn't her fault. Knowing that I would get in trouble, I lied, saying that I had in fact taken them out.

So, Angel (the dog) got in lots of trouble, and I didn't. The blame was completely wrong, and the moment mom had left for work, I apologized to Angel with more sincerity that I ever had before to anyone, it seemed. As I cleaned it up, I repeatedly said I wasn't mad, I petted her, kissed her, and tried to make up for it, because I was too chicken to admit to mom that a) it was my fault, and b) I had lied.

Today, the threefold law kicked into action. First, a snowstorm was predicted for this weekend, so school was scheduled to get off early--cutting off the chance I had to get my first violin lesson from my band instructor today after school during 'flex' period. I was pissed, and it ruined the half-day for me because I had been waiting all week for today's lesson.

But then, to make matters worse, I had an accident in science class. I was just about to leave for lunch (band+chorus people leave three minutes early from 3rd period so we can leave lunch 20 mins. early to get to those activities). My backpack was on the opposite side of my chair as I was. And this was a heavy chair, with metal legs, ceramic of some kind for the seat and back, and metal holding those two parts together. Really heavy. So, anyway, I reached over and grabbed the handle on the top of my backpack, and pulled up. I hadn't realized that it was caught on the chair, so as I pulled up, it pulled on the chair. By the time I had finished the action, it was too late to reverse. The chair tipped towards me, and the heavy seat landed right on my big toe.

Yeah, I'm in a lot of pain right now. It had been black and blue, but now it has turned to a lovely shade of aqua blue in one area, though all the discoloring is under the nail. It's disgusting, and hurts like H*CK!!
On top of that, it will be a lasting injury, so it probably won't go away any time soon...... crying Learned my lesson, really well, and now I'm gonna be more careful of what I do.....

Don't worry about the dog, by the way. She's completely forgotten it by now. I'm going to be extra nice to her for a few days anyway, though, to try to make up for it. Even without the incidents, I still feel really bad about giving her the blame.

So....as I said, a lot going on. Tomorrow I'm going to write it all down in my BOS so I don't forget any of it........

I've finally started getting serious about Wicca. I've had an interest in it for two years, but up until two weeks ago, I never really delved into it. I never had any supplies. I've managed to find enough to start practicing.

I found out that many of my chakras were underproductive, and it turned out that one of the stones that could help me is one that i've had since I was little. Funny how things work out like that. Anyway, I am slowly fixing them, and I'm a happier person now. I have a long way to go to fix them all, though.

I have a major problem concentrating on things, so meditation and visualization are hard for me. Hopefully, I will get better with practice...

The Guild has been a great help, and I'd like to thank you all for assisting me.

Last Saturday I attended my first yoga class (which I found out was a level II and I did really well with it (they have beginner, level I and level II available at that place and I don't know of any higher levels)) and for the first time I was meditating properly. It was amazing, I got to this point where I was melted into the floor, I'd speard out maybe a foot or two from my body and started seeing this Silver circle. Unfortunately I didn't get to go through because I thought of something (silly brain) but it was amazing I reached that state. I was so reluctant to go back to normal that it took me at least 10 minutes to walk properly.

Afterwards I also bought a pendulum which I plan to cleanse soon.

Then, that night I managed to banish something creepy in our bathroom and close the portal. It was a good day.

I recently recieved the Homeric hymns from my Latin teacher as a graduation present. as a Hellenic pagan this book is one of the best for thanking the gods and blessing with them.